Good morning you bunch of retarded cum garglers.
What’s your fucking problem eh? Eh? Are you starting? Go on, try it sunshine, I’ll wipe the fucking floor with you.

Ah. That’s better, now I’ve made myself clear.

There is a woman in the office here who is absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Driving me to distraction. What distracts you at work other than B3ta?

Alt: How do you plan to spend this weekend? I don’t care about your pitiful existence, but I am sure you will all take delight in boring each other, so we might as get that usual Friday rubbish thread out of the way. Blah blah nommy cake, chorizo, whiskey chat, salted peanuts, music chat etc etc.

And yes Boyce, before you start, I know this is a shit thread, so no need to mention it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 7:24, 59 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

two geese just flew past my window

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 7:15, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

I've just ducked a scene

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 21:38, 50 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I haven't just seen a duck.
Just sayin' like.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 21:22, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

just seen a duck

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 21:06, 10 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well, i've just done a vanity search as I have been doing srs bnz today.
NONE of you cunts has mentioned me. All day

I'm hurt. Wounded even. How could you forget me so quickly?

Actually, you bunch of cunts, I don't really give a shit. Made a nice difference today not to have to remind you all how much I hate you. So fuck off yeah?

Alt: Why is Dozer such a massive fucking twat?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 19:26, 69 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What happened to Quinten?
I wasn't paying attention and he disappeared.

alt:what's the best 'app' for a mobile 'phone' or something.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 17:45, 19 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Tangles is such a Captain Placid.
I wonder how well I’d get on if I told my boss I was off home at half four because the b3ta thread I was cocking about in was ‘too long’?

Personally I'm glad he's gone anyway. Someone open a window, try and get the smell of Peruvian llama trousers out of here. And that fucking album. What a heap of shit! God I hate him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:32, 85 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I is getting a cat.
name suggestions please.
Alt, cinema suggestions, I'm going tomorrow night.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:58, 274 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Massive invasion of privacy
They've put up scafolding around my flat and are working right outside my window. I avoid eye-contact at the best of times, let alone when I'm in my pants at home.

Would you lot feel uncomfortable with this, or am I being a total autistic? I don't want to have to wave or nod at someone every time I go for a glass of water.

imgur.com/vTUUhvy
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:06, 111 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

good article here
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/apr/24/10-great-urban-myths-debunked

what "facts" do you believe? Make up a fact. Go fact yourself

alt: best ice cream flavour (just for you fatties)
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:40, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

so a new mexican restaurant opens in our square today
what's the best thing to put in a burrito?

alt: stunned has a new nickname from the last SECRETBASH: "dirty daddy donkey". what hilariously alliterative nickname would you give a b3tard?

altalt: do you use any hair products? or are they for benders and women?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 11:35, 105 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Righto that one died.
QUESTIONS/ANSWERS

If you could ask one question to someone no longer alive what would it be and to whom would the question be put?

Alt: If you could ask one question to someone currently alive what would it be and to whom would the question be put?

Altalt: If you could know the answer to one single question what would the question be?

Give your reasoning behind any answers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 9:54, 194 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

it's AB's birthday.
Fenland's favourite feeder is going to the pictures and then to the Wimpy with some friends as a treat. What has been your best birthday to date?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 8:11, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

DG pointed out that it has just been over a year since JeffStock II
I was thinking that JeffStock III could be over the weekend of the Bristol harbour festival.

Loads of shit going on that weekend so we could all avoid each other. Perfect.

Google what was on over the previous years, weigh up the inflated hotel costs and let me know if it floats yer boat.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 21:25, 35 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 20:39, 37 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's my birthday. I'm having a good birthday. This is what I look like right now:

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 17:44, 41 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Vaginal prolapse anyone?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/934640-Surgery-to-repair-prolapse
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 16:58, 18 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

someone should do a new thread
what time do you get up? are yoiu a morning or evening person?

Alt: roses, quality street, heros, celebrations, milk tray or other?

altalt: pricks?

altaltralt: i just been looking bat twitter. I dunt get it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 15:43, 102 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

How LOL would it be if Scotland voted itself independent and then wasn't allowed to use Sterling and had to join the Euro
and then had to bail out a bunch of unemployed Slavs and then went bankrupt and they all died?

I mean don't get me wrong, I love Scotland and the Scots (apart from the working class ones who are simply frightful) but that would be well LOL eh.

Alt: sweet food is for queers and birds: discuss.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 13:50, 217 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hahahahaha yeah hahahahaha
we have a right laugh here don't we
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 13:45, Reply)

Scarpe hasn't been round these parts for a while. Who thinks he's fallen off the wagon?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:51, 153 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hey did anyone see where I left my oh there it is
never mind
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:39, 18 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Donno if anyone is interested in this /ac
www.hotukdeals.com/deals/24-x-500ml-bottles-thatchers-gold-cider-for-5-tesco-1535088
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:31, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

one thing about working here, we have really excellent biscuits
but now the trays have biscuits that are specially made for dunking. wtf? would you sit in a meeting and dunk? rank. should be illegal.

alt: are you allergic to anything?

altalt: who's the biggest spastic you know?

edit: other biscuits on the tray include clubs and kitkats. wtf. a kitkat is not a biscuit. it is a nasty little wafer polluting perfectly good chocolate.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:28, 151 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What was the last DVD/'blue ray' you purchased?
I mean, ACTUALLY PURCHASED with money, as opposed to 'acquired via the perfectly morally acceptable method of internet-based 'borrowing' but because it's not actually on a physical disc it's fine'.

I just had series one of Jamie and the Magic Torch and 2h of Chortlon and the Wheelies delivered.

Alt: Are you good at taking advice? If so, PLEASE FUCK OFF
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 9:51, 253 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

B3th's still in bed, post images


What's the most tactless thing you've ever heard someone say?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 9:09, 43 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

men who wear thumb rings are cunts yeah?
I had grapes and black coffee for breakfast.

alt: Amsterdam on Friday, messiest holiday you've had?

altalt: I'm listening to "rape zombie" which is a great song. best song titles?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 9:04, 18 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So the UK has become a more peaceful place
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22275280
What are you doing to live a more harmonious life with your fellow man?
Have you given up your Samurai sword? Taken residence in a hippy commune? Or decided to stop killing/raping prostitutes?

Alt: I have just realised that I have yet to take any time off work this year, what have you realised?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 7:58, 114 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'd start a new thread but there's no fucker about anyway.
Probably all watching the football or at a secret bash or something.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Apr 2013, 21:42, 36 replies, latest was 12 years ago)