That threads dead
How was your weekend?
Mine involved cooking and eating a christmas meal on saturday and possibly the worst hangover I've ever had on Sunday.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:22, 173 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Everyone's digging their cars out of the snow obviously.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:26, Reply)

"Tell me why-ay is it I'm digging your Scen(ic)?"

I asked when I realised that I was mistakenly shifting snow from my neighbour's Renault.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I am reliably informed that 'Dr Robert' is not actually a cunt.
I find this so improbable it's up there with 'the existence of God' for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I'd be more inclined to believe that Jimmy Somerville shagged my Mum each Wednesday afternoon.

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

They've topped themselves at the tedium of JMG's one trick, and how 'pony' it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Not so bad, although I didn't get to see my child which was shit.
I went for some beers in town, took unfeasibly large amounts of cocaine, went for a Vietnamese meal, slept in, played guitar, wanked for Britain and did a murder.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

What dog did you have when you went out for your meal?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

That's Korean food, you spanner.
Although fair enough, they do all look alike.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

I just read this on have your say.
"It's looking like more should be spent BUT while I sit cosy at home, hearing of utter chaos at Heathrow Airport, disgust and anger swoop over me. The current situation affecting passengers makes Hurricane Katrina pale into insignificance. BAA should be sued for expecting folk, especially elderly and infirm, to sleep on floors swathed in tin-foil like turkeys ready for the oven. One does have to wonder if airport officials tasked with communicating information to passengers are suffering from lock-jaw or their mouths are frozen. And why has the airport stopped people from taking photographs? Hmmm, all very suspect. Warm thoughts to those stranded in and out of the airport - hope you get basic humanitarian help as soon as possible. Is BAA scared of having spend a few quid from their annual profits? Shame on them! "
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

There was a fantastic interview on the Today programme this morning.
The woman used the term "like a war zone" on two occasions, expressed disgust that people were allowed to buy alcohol from M&S and said she was worried about what would have happened in event of a fire or a terrorist attack.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Ha ha, they probably talked to 15 people and found the craziest.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:52, Reply)

She kept saying how worried she was about her kids
the clear implication being that she thought that forcing people to stay in a terminal overnight turned them instantly into alcoholic peadophile rapist kidnappers.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:54, Reply)

i got stuck in gatwick once
the urge to drink and steal children was almost irresistable
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Why is everyone obsessed with eating 3rd world cuisine?
Find a loser country, open a restaurant selling their food and the masses will fock to it.

These people are poor, therefore their food should, by rights, be shit.

But it isn't.

It is questions like this that give me a headache.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

You've made my brain hurt too now
I never thought about it like that.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Sorry.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

It doesn't make sense though, does it?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

No, not in the slightest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Why should "the poor" have shit food.
it's more to do with urban vs rural populations and the freshness of ingredients.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I know.
It's the original post that doesn't make any sense. I wasn't clear, sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Not if you look at it in that ridiculously simplistic way no.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Well, I'm poor and I eat shit food.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:54, Reply)

If you were, say, a rural Italian farmer, you wouldn't, though.
Street food in, say, India or all over the far east, is cheap, nutritious and delicious. Skint Moroccan fishermen have a diet that would cost us a fortune and is fucking lovely.

This is true for much of the world.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I may have been being slightly facetious there

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

That's all the shit food you eat, I expect.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Hahaha

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:09, Reply)

You have zero imagination Jeff my friend.
plus your logic makes me tear my testicles off in frustration.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

I went out for my friends birthday on saturday
she had a limo
it was awesome
until I somehow managed to slice a chunk off my finger, couldn't tell you how tho because I was drunk off my face
but they had this awesome sign in the limo that said on one side "You're hot" and "Let's make out" on the other. So I stole it and flashed it at loads of people.

I also had the worst hangover of my life yesterday. Laid in bed for hours during the day and I never, never do that.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Is there no stigma with being seen in a limo on your side of the pond?
How is your hand now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

it fucking hurts, it had scabbed up but Echo stood on it this morning with her massive hoof and it squeezed a load of blood out
also, we live in the country, it's like a dream to be able to ride in a limo
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Limos are shit
but I have worked out for 9 people it's cheaper to get to london in a limo than it is to go by train.

I don't have 9 friends though so that is an example of useless maths.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

well we had nine in this limo
and it was awesome
FUCKING AWESOME
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

What kind of limo was it?
And by that, I mean 'what colour was it?'
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:57, Reply)

white
soooooo trashy ;)
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Oooh brilliant
Did you stand out of the sunroof and everything?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Limo = Swansea slag taxi
no offence, like
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:01, Reply)

you're speaking forrin again, love

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

slut cab?
is that how you say it in americanese?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

oh, I knew that part but you lost me at swansea

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:59, Reply)

HA!
You're more a QOTW user now!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:37, Reply)

The women here are hotter.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

There's no attractive women, here.
Don't get crazy.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

There are a bunch actually.
You'll be pleasantly suprised.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Alright.. Who you pandering at?
This conversation is clearly bait for one of the double-deckers to see?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:47, Reply)

There's a whole list of /offtopicers I'm after.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Terrible rapist

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Internet romance is only for the portly or the sweaty palmed.
Nobody happy ever stoops to this level.

Be a grown up. Go out front and meet people.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

^^^^
this
( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Pfffft!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:58, Reply)

also, from just over a year ago
www.b3ta.com/questions/celebrities/post536538
( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Oh, the irony.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I probably should clarify that
the initial girlfriend at the start of that 10 year period went out with me for over six years. I'd hate to appear to be a loser.
( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

You're marrying a girl off the internet
you get much more of a loser than that surely?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:22, Reply)

You're as cruel as you are fat

( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Well taking you seriously as I know I shouldn't
I don't think it matters at all where and how you meet, the most important things are if you get on and find each other attractive.
Everything else is secondary.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Why do you have to find them attractive?
Surely the most important thing is that you love one another?
It's what's on the inside that counts you monster.

No wonder you're single. You're shallow AND an internet user. This sickens me.
Online.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I play WoW as well.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:57, Reply)

you should larp
it sounds like the sort of thing you'd love
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Does wearing a gimp mask and carrying a cat o' nine tails
count as larping?
( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

yes
if you add more latex
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:17, Reply)

What's this "if *I* add"?
I was talking about PsychoChomp
( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I'm a sociable, outgoing sort who isn't that hideously disfigured
But no girl I've ever met in a pub/club has wanted to watch Chris Morris DVDs with me. One in fact asked me to turn off the pedo special after we were 5 minutes in.
( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:09, Reply)

minutes cm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Your strikethroughs need work if you're
ever going to be as good as wookie. The better strikethrough in this instance was:
special pornographic film
( djtrialprice, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:16, Reply)

I thought your 'pedo special' was some kind of sex toy.
My mistake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Went out to the local where I work on Friday
Got royally pissed, ended up looking after an even-more pissed FOAF when his other mates fucked off. Tried to stop him having a fight, got punched in the face for my trouble. Fell over in the snow, which snuck up on us at about midnight.

On Saturday I had to walk home in the snow in 5 inch peeptoes, and work two shifts.

Sunday was good, I had hot booze at work and went out with my best friend and got drunk on free booze. Now I have mulled wine, so I'm happy.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Oh the north.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

oh fuck, do you have a shiner?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Nah, managed to get away with it, thank fuck.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

That rugby player sounds a right cunt.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I got a vague apology on Saturday
Via my comment on his Facebook status. So I'm not exactly going to class it as an apology.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

If it doesn't include flowers
and an actual conversation (by phone is acceptable) then no, it doesn't count.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I've barred him
And he will stay that way until I receive a proper apology.

Gave him the proper Peggy Mitchell and everything. I wasn't even working.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Sweet!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

By the way
If you're going to describe someone as a 'rugby player', it's entirely superfluous to add 'right cunt' in the description.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Pretty good thanks
It started on Thursday, and ends tomorrow.

I spent nearly all day Thursday in the pub, spending stupid amounts of money.
Friday I mainly spent doing fuck all, before going to Manchester for my work night out.
Saturday, spent the day in the pub, then sat in with a few beers.
Sunday, spent the day in bed, went to a pub quiz in the evening.
Today, helped a friend move house, and I'm off to a pub quiz at 8.

It's all good.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Sounds nice
You lazy bugger.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Jealous?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I was a bit
But only because my shift was dragging. Went out with Fucko after that, it was fun. We drank shots and hot chocolate with booze in and Guinness and cider and you KNOW they're my favourite things. Plus, I had a free night, all I had to do was put up with a pervy Italian.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

I got an invite to the football on a freebie Had a couple of beers then we all had fajitas.
Cleaned the bathroom on Sunday morning and made cheese and vegetable gratin for tea (northern meaning). Applied for a couple of jobs.

So pretty damn exciting really.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Went to a party Saturday night
Drank too much too quickly and my body betrayed me. No matter what I did I couldn't stop falling asleep
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:57, Reply)

You're getting old.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 16:58, Reply)

So are you
You're just some way behind me. Physically, at least
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Apparently I'm in the prime of my life.
Apparently.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I assume you're athletically vaulting your sofa in between posting replies

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I just walked all the way from the computer to the microwave
To get some more mulled wine.

That's enough exercise for one day.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

It annoys the fuck out of me that you're not fat

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:09, Reply)

It annoys the fuck out of me that you're not straight

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:11, Reply)

No it doesn't
You enjoy talking about your erroneous perception of my sexuality far too much
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

^ classic 'bender talk'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Hang about
Are you - YOU - implying that elaborate wordplay and the use of several syllables where one will suffice are symptoms of Bumderism? Don't let the closet door hit you on the way out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:18, Reply)

No,
I'm saying anything you post is 'classic bender talk'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:20, Reply)

You weren't though, were you
Not originally.

*knowing grin*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:21, Reply)

Stop trying to bumder Monty
You know he's easily suggestible.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

He's going to be getting a faceful of hot meat tonight
and I know for a fact that his arse will be sore tomorrow morning.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:21, Reply)

But if you were straight
we'd have nothing to tease you about.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I'm sure we'd manage somehow.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Categorically untrue
I am straight, and it doesn't seem to be stopping you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Well now we're going to tease you for lying about your sexuality.
You need to meet Janice Battersby and come clean

www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/2010/12/20/tory-mp-nigel-evans-reveals-he-is-gay-after-confessing-secret-to-coronation-street-star-vicky-entwistle-115875-22795115/
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Eeh!
You'd never think it to look at him, would you?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Yeah, by rights I should be a heffalump.
The best thing about burgeoning alcoholism is that you often forget to eat :)
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Ironic
It's the booze, rather than food, that stops me from becoming thin
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Yeah, but it's much more fun
Plus, Guinness is a meal, right?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:17, Reply)

So you can do one or the other and stay thin... tough choice
Are you sure it's not just because, in the words of Arnold Jonathan Judas Rimmer BSc, SSc, up until a certain age you can eat and drink whatever you like and your metabolism just handles it?

If this theory is true, I want words with my metabolism for waving Rimmer's little white flag at the age of 13
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:20, Reply)

It certainly applied to me up until about the age of 32.
My marriage crumbling and a sudden diet of junk and booze didn't help, either.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

But all I do is drink and eat junk food
I've never been properly fed, I'm from the North.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

It was a short period in my life.
Unfortunately it made its mark. And I'm a lazy fucker when it comes to exercise.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:49, Reply)

21 years and counting
*looks smug and waits for inevitable comeuppance in the next ten years*
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:52, Reply)

I hope not
Although you get some points for quoting Red Dwarf.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Thought you'd like that
Shameless pandering, there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Well I like pandering and Red Dwarf
Double points.

You bumder.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Cheers
You flangemonkey
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:33, Reply)

S'alright
you big screaming queen, you.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Not screaming so much any more
It gets looser with practice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:44, Reply)

Your neighbours will be pleased to hear that
Or rather, not hear it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

Once the nightmares stop, they will be
Could take a while
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:48, Reply)

My friend was in the other night
and heard her next door neighbour screaming, so she called the police. The police popped round after they'd checked in on her and explained to my friend that the neighbour was ok, they'd just got a bit 'over excited' at SCD. This confused me, I thought you lived down South?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:52, Reply)

That is preposterous
I live in Norwich, which is East rather than South, but certainly South to the likes o' you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:53, Reply)

If it's not in Yorkshire or above
It counts as the South.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:54, Reply)

Having made the journey most August Bank Holdays over the last decade
I can tell you that Norwich is 200 miles south-east of Bradford

Fascinating, eh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:56, Reply)

Unfortunately
they are 'Pratchett/Simpsons tie internet twat' points, but hey ho.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

I'm a massive geek though
So it's ok.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

No it isn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Points are points
In my tragic, pathetically needy corner of the internet, they're the only currency that matters
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

It's ok to me.
The world at large can make their own judgement.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

I'm lifting towels
with my penis
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:10, Reply)

That's age, that is.
Long, long ago I used to want to dance or shag when I was drunk. Now it's almost impossible to stop myself from passing out.

Woe =(
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Yeah I tried everything
Kept eating chocolate, had coffee, walked around, I even fell asleep leaning on a bannister. Annoying
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

MDs would have sorted you out.
My 'chap' has things that would rouse the fucking dead at the moment.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Monty in 'almost zombie reference' shocker!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Monty likes those MDs the best
He likes walking around off his head going "NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM NOMBIEZOMBIES COMING THROUGH NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM"
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Those crazy undead Managing Directors.
What will they do next, eh?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:14, Reply)

almost zombie penis is a drug dealer
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Bugger.
I just posted that!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

in your face!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Hang on a sec...
You're saying that your penis is a drug dealer?

Fucking hell that's enterprising.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I'm his biggest customer.

/Tommy Chong
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Gaz me his name and number,
I've got to DJ NYE and have no intention of doing it sober
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Haven't they got drugs in Norfolk yet?
(apart from Thalidomide, obv - your mum clearly had plenty of that)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:19, Reply)

I'm not from Norfolk and have no idea what Thalidomide is so that joke falls flat on two counts
Ironically, firstly on the misconception of my inherent stupidity and secondly on my gross ignorance of all things scientific.

And yes, we do have drugs here, but my usual sources are useless shitehawks these days
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Thalidomide
Issued to young mothers in the Seventies, interfering with the gestation of foetuses, thus causing massive handicaps where limbs failed to form fully or at all.

Root word of the derogotary "Flid", meaning "spastic".

I think it was the Seventies, anyway.

Edit: Oh, and I shoudl probably mention that they didn't know it was going to cause deformity, it wasn't some sort of Mengele style social pogrom.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Well that's my new thing learned for today
Cheers to the both of you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

It was the early sixties.

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Ah cheers, I knew it was one or t'other.
couldn't be arsed to Google.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

And shouldn't be confused with the condition Pub-flid.
One whose arms appear to be normal length yet fail to reach into their pockets at the bar.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Isn't that the lesser-spotted
"Scrounging cunt"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:37, Reply)

I thought it was the 50's?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:28, Reply)

You are Mark Lamarr AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:30, Reply)

*stops listening to psychobilly christmas album*
I have no idea what you're talking about.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Cock though he undoubtedly is,
his taste in (and knowledge of) music cannot be faulted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Someone posted much the same about you earlier

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:37, Reply)

I stopped watching Buzzcocks when he left.
I miss him.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Amstell was brilliant

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:41, Reply)

He was quite good
I watched a bit. But the final straw was when they brought that utter, utter cunt Fielding in as a judge. I can't even look at the fucker without wanting to punch something.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:44, Reply)

Fielding is simply not funny.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Agreed
I was forced to watch an episode the other week where Paloma Faith was on it too. They were going on about how fucking 'zany' and 'random' they both were. Watching those two cheb-ends pandering to each other is enough to turn anybody on to the idea of eugenics.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:50, Reply)

No need with me.
I genuinely think eugenics is a good idea.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Yeah, but I say this as a lefty
I really, really want to prevent those two from polluting the gene pool.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:54, Reply)

It's far too late for that
Gillian McKeith has already been allowed to breed. The species is fucked
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:55, Reply)

Not if we kill her kids too it isn't,

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:58, Reply)

A plan with no drawbacks
*fetches chainsaw*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:59, Reply)

Told you I was clever.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 18:00, Reply)

He was fucking shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

you just don't like Jews.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Nazi lols.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:50, Reply)

I think Monty was commenting on Simon Amstell's sexuality
As a practising homosexual, he probably was fucking shit whilst employed as the host of Buzzcocks
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:55, Reply)

^ Yeah, this.
Also the subject of a recent joke I heard.

Three expectant mums in the ante natal waiting room are all knitting away furiously. One reaches for her handbag, takes out a pill and swallows it.

"What was that?" asked one of the other mums to be. "Vitamin D supplement" she replied, explaining that she wanted her child to have the best start in life, and go on to become to become healthy and strong boned. She goes back to her knitting.

Second mum to be also reaches for her handbag and she too pops a pill into her mouth and swallows.

"Folic acid. Say no more", she says, spotting the other women's quizzical looks. They nod, approvingly, and return to their knitting.

Third woman reaches for her bag and like the others, takes a pill and swallows. "Thalidomyde", she explains.

"Thalidomyde?? Are you fucking mad?"

"No", she says, looking up from her knitting, "I can't do sleeves".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:39, Reply)

Hahahahah
*forwards to brother*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Thalidomide
is the originator of the terms 'flid' in its most literal sense, i.e. a person born very short arms / limbs. Drug given to pregnant women some time ago to prevent morning sickness (I think, I can't be arsed to look it up).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

tinyurl.com/2eunmvd
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

I was calling you a flid.
You flid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Whatever
Drugs please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

hahahaha
You flid.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)