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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Seeing as Rswipe and Colonel Dracula are internet husband and wife, who would you choose as internet spouse?
This has nothing to do with looks but based on compatibility, humour etc
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:40, 206 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Hmmm, this one could be interesting!!
*sits back with cuppa*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:41, Reply)
If I'm allowed an internet sex change then Monty
If not, then Darth, so I've got somebody to boot around the kitchen.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:42, Reply)
So when you think of what you want in a life partner
you answer: "someone I can hit"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:42, Reply)

what you want in a life parner Darth
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:45, Reply)

boot bum
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)
We're all broad minded here.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)

kitchen back doors.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)
*strikethrough trigger fingers*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:49, Reply)
*thunderous fives*

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Can we set other people up, that'll be funnier

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:42, Reply)
If you like.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:42, Reply)
Blousie and Jeff

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)
She doesn't find me funny cow,

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Nonsense
As she says, you are George and Mildred!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)
It's because you're not.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:50, Reply)
It's because you're not
I grant you, that pun last night was quite amusing, but the korma one this morning actually made me cry tears of despair in to my diet coke.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:53, Reply)
You're tikkad off with him for that, aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:54, Reply)
You've gone too phaal now

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)
Alright, alright, we don't need another paneer.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Jesus...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)
These puns go naan and naan!

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)
Stop it.
It's getting very daal.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)
You're just trying to curry favour

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)
We're only Jhoshing...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)
Alright you, no need to bhaj-in

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)
Could I ask you to remove your shoes?
Only we've just had some new carpet laid. It's OK, you can poppadum in the corner.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)
What a lovely room, it's so romantic!
Very Mills and Bhuna.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Sorry. Didn't mean to be al(l|oo) gobi.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)
*weeps*

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)
I know.
Don't worry, I'll be raitas rain soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)
ouch
just ouch
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)
I think that deserves a Patak on the back, personally...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)
It deserves more than that!
It was very puri
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Second to Naan
DG.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)
I'm pleased the heating's come on.
It was getting very chilli in here.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)
I'm glad you said that mostly in lower case ...
... because if there are too many capsicum. It can be most embarrassing.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)
I think Crunchy and Jeff share a passion for puns that may put our internet relationship in jeapordy.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Given!
I see us as the George and Mildred of offtopic.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Which one of us is Mildred though?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Me obviously.
I have the teeth.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)
Before we take the long walk down the virtual aisle...
Have you checked that the dogs are okay with this?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)
I trust you with them.
I know you won't shit in your own back yard.....so to speak.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)
Berk and Noel

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)
Al and Bert

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Bert anyone
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:48, Reply)
Vipros and himself.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:50, Reply)
Ooof!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:53, Reply)
I'm too good for me

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:58, Reply)
Roota and Ed

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:52, Reply)
Vipros obv
I'd have an affair with Labs though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)
POTD

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:45, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, Reply)
I can't believe you didn't pick me.
/p.s. I sent you an email with more bullying in it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)
I was going to pick you as you my ex-husband where we still fight all the time
in the street.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)
Ha ha, at 3am

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)
And then I'll try and get you arrested and the police will be all "oh not you two again"

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)
nice of you to pretend you'd pick Lab for an affair
he needs the boost to his self-esteem

also, yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)
I'll take what I can get

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)
she'd never really be unfaithful to me
you and Chompy will just have to turn to each other for comfort.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Applebite.
She is the skinny blonde poledance yin to my yang.
And she's hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:46, Reply)
Looks are not a factor in this.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, Reply)
The hotness is just an added bonus.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, Reply)
Certainly is

(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:54, Reply)
-fans self-
I have managed to locate a duvet, now the only choice you have to make is sleeping with me or on the sofa.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)
Broadsword is my fiancé .
We like breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, Reply)
This doesn't narrow it down

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:48, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/5685248
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:53, Reply)
Aw! I'm so happy for you : )
No-one has ever asked me to marry them eveh!



I SAID NO-ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME TO MARRY THEM EVEH!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)
I'd ask, but you'd only say no
And I just don't think I can handle that kind of disappointment again
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)
I was hoping for someone more grown up to be honest.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:00, Reply)
hahaha!
On here??
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)
I think she meant grown up as in older
as opposed to mentally :)
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)
Thats OK then

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)
I might be a little young for her...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Like I said, I knew you'd only say no
*sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)
Well at least your the most chivalerous one on here.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)
As ever.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)
but but
not actually sure how SFW
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)
Haha
EDIT: Shit, where did you find that? I thought I'd hidden it?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)
Usually I'm ok with that kind of pic but I just did a little sick in my mouth.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)
throw your morals out the window
he's a LOVELY chap
I know of course because of all the time we've spent together
He's quite a catch
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)
I appreciate the effort Kristine, I really do
But sadly, she has met me. I'm a bit fooked.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)
saddest of sad faces

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Somehow I'm still logged into Piston's account on that.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)
YAY!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)
Sorry The LOVELY JILTED KkkkkKrRRRrRiIIIiiisSStTTiiiNNEEEEEE.
Broady's happily married to The LOVELY Sammi these days.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 18 Jan 2011, 18:40, Reply)
I'll have TGB
she understands the importance of the Leyland Group 1.8TC engine and she's already got the same surname, which would save on stationery costs.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:48, Reply)
We could start our own classic car restoration business
Badger Banger Bodgers
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)
Oh yes.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)
you have to do it now
you have a name for it and everything
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Ah, but we can't until she tires of London
Cos there's no fucking way I'm going back there. Not now I've discovered being able to afford lovely big houses and there not being approximately a million cunts in my way every time I want to get somewhere.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)
suggest that business with a serious expression and she'll be all over it

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:58, Reply)
I'm not sure I should participate in this.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:52, Reply)
Gwan!
The Mrs wouldn't mind. After all she has totally snogged Mark Chadwick after you were married.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:53, Reply)
This is true.
Unfortunately, I can't think of anyone at the moment; it's so cold in here my brain has frosted.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)
I think Monty and Amberl would be a good couple.
If nothing else she'll be able to keep up with him on the booze. And she looks like one of the master race.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:52, Reply)
It's weird Amberl's single isn't it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Smooth dude.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:57, Reply)
Just thinking aloud, I'm not in anyway interested in her.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)
Come on man, you must be at least a little bit interested in her tits.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)
Nope, she's a nice girl
attractive, not a mental, smart and still single.
That was the only thing I was pointing out she's not even here so it's not pandering.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)
I agree 100%
Long blonde hair and can handle her alcohol. What's not to love.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)
"can handle her alcohol"
Are you trying to put Chompy off her?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)
Those toffs don't know what's good for them.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)
oh well, that makes sense then
luckily you didn't post it publicly, so it's guaranteed she'll never see it, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

not in anyway
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)
yup
if by "smooth" you mean "creepily hitting on students who are many years younger than you even from a 100 mile radius".

haha, your reply to him is soooo much worse than his original comment, noel you might have to be deleted from the tripod for that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)
I'm just being honest mate, I can guarantee he went all whistful and staring-into-space when he read it.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)
well yeah, you said the word "tits" without prefacing it with "stop staring at my"
he won't be capable of posting again until about 4.30.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)
in that case
Noel has performed an important public service
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)
i love this

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)
Aw thanks BGB

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)
Roota....
No particular reason, haven't even meet her, don't really know her, but I know it would make DJTP a bit gutted, which is all the reason I need to spend the rest of my life with someone.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Don't get me wrong, she's probably lovely, could be my dream girl, only I just don't know it 'cus I don't know her. She might be an annoying cow IRL too, I donno, don't really mind, as long as DJTP cries himself to sleep over it.
Nah', that's a bit harsh on DJTP... you can replace Roota with clackhousesomethingwhosnameialwaysforget or chickenlady or any of the other permantly unavailables.

Even better if they're not up for it, the more people crying themselves to sleep (who aren't me), the better.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:57, Reply)
Naturally we're not talking about any phsyical acts.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)
*pats on head*
You'll find your princess one day. She'll probably be working behind a sushi counter somewhere.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)
Yeah but she'll end up being his daughter and he'll have to cut his tounge off.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)
I never really got the hype with that film
I enjoyed it, but didn't think it was the masterpiece others claimed it to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)
Dude!
I mean, I know she's ludicrously awesome, but what did I do?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)
You took me off the market.
Men have wept.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:36, Reply)
But being my gigolo earns you a good wage!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I think I'd marry Amberl, purely for the political debates we could have over the breakfast table.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)
I've never met a b3tan I didn't like
There's no-one on here I particularly dislike, so I would say anyone who was willing to settle for me!

EDIT: I meant any female.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)
SLAG!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)
I'm not marrying you. Sorry.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)
i thought that's what marriage was?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)
Good point.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)
i am very very happy with my internet husband
so i couldn't possibly pick anyone else.

and if he does.... he's dead.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)
heh heh heh

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)
I see you and the Colonel as the Margo and Jerry Leadbetter of offtopic.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)
absolutely
he loves it when my stilettos and sports car get stuck in his country mud
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)
that sounds so dirty

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)
i hadn't even got onto his chicken!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)
best get on with it then, he won't wait around forever

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)
he knows his place

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

got onto started choking
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)
we're married
this means we don't have sex!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:40, Reply)
At least not with each other
/sweeping statement about society's lack of moral fibre
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)
like i said
if he even thinks about it...... he's dead.

i, on the other hand, could be persuaded if you ask me VERY nicely.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Haha, double standards much?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)
I read that as double sandwich
and wondered what you were implying about how to persuade Swipey.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Not sure I could go for an Eiffel Tower with the Colonel

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)
How about just a monkeyface then?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)
Maybe, no promises mind.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:53, Reply)
hey
my husband is NOT gay. i mean, sure he likes to borrow my pink socks sometimes. and we do watch musicals together. and he is very good at painting my nails for me. and we haven't had sex since- oh yeah. we've never actually had sex.

but this does NOT mean he is gay, ok?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:01, Reply)
Well, the alternative is that he finds you physically repulsive...
And that can't be right, surely?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)
I was thinking of actual sandwiches you filthy cockhound

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)
ME?
/outrage
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)
i am however
going to second the cry of "jeff and bgb".
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)
^This
Although Jeff would need to change his name.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)
To Blousie's bitch?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)
+a

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)
to fox
jeffthefoxfucker

actually, he should totally do that anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)
Maybe Cougar?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)
that is not alliteration
foolish fool
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)
I'm allergic to cats.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)
JeffTheDogAndBlousieFucker?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)
Sounds like a pub name.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Where do you drink?
*Shocked*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)
A grotty wee dive in the local red light district.
It's called the cock in hand.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)
Do you have one in there
Before moving onto The Bush for a couple more before last-orders?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)
Haha!
Really?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)
I see no reason for the name change.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)
: (
And you've been so nice recently.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)
:D
If there's a choice to be nice or to be funny, I'll go for funny.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)
I'll admit I did smile.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)
irl gasp

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Right you.
Outside now.

How dare you speak to my wife like that!

*Outraged*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)
It's alright Jeff.
He's not worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)
What do you mean 'It's alright Jeff!'?
I'm trying to watch Sky Sports.

I want you to go outside with him and leave me in peace.

And where are my chips woman? And this shirt needs ironing.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:33, Reply)
Excellent!
*round of applause + pie + pint + doberman
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)
And you can get lost too.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)
*gets lost*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)
*sigh*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)
The honeymoon period is over love.
Not really
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)
When did it start?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Err....
On a Thursday.

I think.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Was I actually there?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)
In my mind, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)
: D

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)
Ooof once more
harsh man!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)
given my lack of social skills
probably misterspakkaman after he comes back from his gender reassignment surgery backpacking holiday.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)
Hehe!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)
would you still do the pre-cum thing after that?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)
Haven't I punished myself enough already?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Ooooooooh good question
On grounds of making me giggle - Kitty
On grounds of being generally lovely and fabulous with magnificent norks - Amberl or BGB, or ideally both
On grounds of giving me slightly more horn than I'm prepared to admit - Bella
On grounds of them actually being up for it - Crowsephine
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)
Bella is a cracking lass
I'd have mentioned her by name, but the stick I'd get just wouldn't be worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)
you'd rather she rewarded you with a bigger "stick"?
you fucking pervert
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)
No, I'd rather not have consistent accusations and questions levelled at me that are no-one's business but my own.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)
you have no choice

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)
Good lord man, I don't actually LIKE her
I just want to put my willy in her

Also; everyone knows you nailed her, you should be fucking proud of it

Edit: I do, however, accept the point you made up there ^
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)
on the grounds of being somewhat on the lecherous, creepy side - Darth

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)
We'd make for a crackin' civil partnership
As long as certain ground rules were established. Such as separate houses, no physical contact whatsoever and interaction restricted solely to drunken laughs at the pub
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)
sensible rules
this might work
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)
You're on the back-up list
My best friend and I decided when we were 19 to be each other's back-ups - we'd get married if neither of us was when we turned 30. When we got to 30 and were both still unmarried we moved it back to 40 on the grounds that her boyfriend and my girlfriend would likely get quite upset.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)
I had a backup while at uni
the stupid cowbag got knocked up while we were there and dropped out. Useless!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Daft bint
I hope she at least allowed you a sympathy grope
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:46, Reply)
I wish.
she had amazing norks.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Having only met
Monty, wanderlust and Barry from Eastenders, I'll have to pick lusty as she is lovely!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)
Innit!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)
Actually
all 3 were great!

EDIT:
Even though Monty now has fake tits (as threads below) I'm not sure they would match up
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Lusty is ace
Although I'm aware I thoroughly embarrassed myself when I met her.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)
I find that hard to believe
that you're aware of it, I mean.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:31, Reply)
You were licking concrete at the time, how would you know?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:44, Reply)

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