Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck me it's shit on here today.By banning inflammatory preacher and lolarious same-name-as-that-bloke-from-Monty-Python Terry Jones from the UK are we just handing him publicity on a plate? Would have made better sense just to let him do his crazed ranting and let him slip into obscurity? Also should he not be allowed to voice his opinions, ludicrous and inflammatory as they may be, seeing as we live in a supposed 'free' society?
Alt: Why do birds sing so gay, and lovers await the break of day?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:12,
177 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Meh our free speach is meant to protect our own citizens rightsnot some yank cunts.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:14, Reply)
We've let countless Islamo-racist mental casescome and live here from Aieee-istan and bankrolled their lives whilst they plotted and railed against our way of living, on numerous occasions - all this bloke wants to to is sound off, not claim benefits and live here....
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:16,
Reply)
I can only think of one, that Pirate Muslim blokeAnd wasn't he deported? Eh, I don't care, the media twist everything to their own copy-selling agenda, so there could be hundreds of them or none at all. Maybe Pirate Muslim bloke was actually a Daily Mail reporter in an assortment of bargain bin fancy dress costumes. And paid by Thatcher.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:21,
Reply)
Abu Hamza.I think he's in the nick: we won't deport him because he's likely to be executed where he came from, for being a fucking cunt. So instead we lock him up at vast expense.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:24,
Reply)
That's the mentalWe lock him up because we have no death penalty, and deporting him would be akin to a death penalty.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:27,
Reply)
the story that incensed me about him was about the laptop when he was in prisonhe demanded a laptop that had arabic keys so he could write stuff to do with his defence. the govt sent him a brand new laptop. he rejected it for not having arabic keys. so they bought a new one. with arabic keys. then he had to get a translator to translate it back into english.
and don't get me started on how much his family gets in benefits/how much money he made on his council house by doing the right-to-buy. sod the religion, this is a guy who has never contributed a penny to the british economy, but who has made a mint out of it!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
What on earth is wrong with that?he's got as much right to a defence as anyone else. If he speaks better arabic than English, then why not?
And he's contributed a fucking fortune to the UK economy simply from bigoted idiots buying the Daily Fail to read about him, surely?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:05,
Reply)
No he wasn't deported because he came from a country so shit he'd be tourtured in it.(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:24, Reply)
I stopped caring when he stopped being newsPlus I get most of my news from The Daily Mash, like this article.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
I love the 'Government trying to work out if 'bumtard' is homophobic' article.(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:31, Reply)
That had me in stitches yesterday(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
"Meanwhile, seven year-old Roy Hobbs was recently labelled a homophobic bigot after he referred to classmate Nathan Muir as 'a gay'.
He said: "Nathan and I have repeatedly conversed about his nascent sexuality, and he has expressed his preference for boys. I did not mean it in any pejorative sense.
"It's not like he's some dirty fucking arsebadger."
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:38, Reply)
He wants to burn a bookwhich I think is one of the most despicable acts there is.
The fact it's a "holy book" means little to me, don't burn books it's retarded. You're symbolically and literally destroying knowledge, you can get the fuck off my lawn/country.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:23, Reply)
You have clearly never read any Jeffrey Archer.His 'books' should be hung, drawn and quartered.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:25,
Reply)
I've done business with the man.He is, unbelievably, a cunt and an incredibly thick one at that.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
'voice his opinions, ludicrous and inflammatory as they may be'.I miss Jeff!
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girlinthehole, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:14,
Reply)
*Waves!*Hello Internet Wifey!
Unless you mean a different Jeff?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:15,
Reply)
You're the only Jeff I know.Apart from Mr Bridges but he's just an obsession.
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girlinthehole, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:19,
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I agree, we do have free speech. Sadly the guy is a retard, so has lost his right to talk bollocks.Same with Fred Phelps, although I actively wish someone would take a hammer to that old wanker.
Alt: Because they FUCKING WANT TO, ALRIGHT?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:15,
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Free speech just means you have the right to not be imprisoned for expressing your opinion.It doesn't mean some Johnny can come over here, chat shit and not get deported.
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Kroney, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:17,
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Normally they get a house too.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:20,
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Not a phrase you hear every day.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:21,
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Deport an Islamic cleric and you merely add racism charges to his rhetoric.Deport a white guy and no harm, no foul. Both racist pricks, but you only get to keep the moral high ground with the white lad.
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Kroney, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:24,
Reply)
That's a lie.or at least a woefully ignorant interpretation of the events.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Woefully ignorant.I debated getting more informed, but decided that I just didn't care.
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Kroney, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:51,
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Firstly he's not been deportedhe's been refused entry, as would any Islamic extremist who isn't already in the country.
If he was in the country but an american Citizen he'd be extradited back because for all their faults the Americans "don't torture" people in their prisons.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Well, not white people, anyway ...(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:11,
Reply)
Well not in their mainland prisonsI wouldnt advise using that statement in any Cuban based facilities
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)
Oh my God Terry Jones has become a crazy preacher and they've barred him from the England! But wait he's English! What?^ that was my train of thought, until everything fell into place.
I had a disturbed sleep.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:20,
Reply)
They should give him his own column in The Mail.Alt. Because the night belongs to lovers.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:20, Reply)
if some groups are going to be allowed to burn the union jack in the parkand invite foreign speakers to make horrendously racist speeches like the ones that various parts of london university (i'm looking at you, ULU and SOAS) are happy to host, then this guy should be let in too. you can't have one rule for one breed of religious nutcases and one for another just in case you upset all the other flag-burning religious nutcases and they go on the rampage burning more flags. or properties. or cars. whatever. it is the distinction that isn't right.
personally i'd ban all organised religion, i don't care which one it is.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:26,
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Nah, there was that one who set fire to himselfIn order to get on the cover of a Rage Against The Machine album.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:33,
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Fight the power, maaaan.RATM are shit
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:34,
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Apart from the Hari Krishnas.They add a bit of colour to the place.
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girlinthehole, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:28,
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I'd ban all brown people. Nothing but trouble, the lot of 'em.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:29,
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But who is going to ferry me around in a taxi and make me a curry when I'm hungry?The browns. That's who.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
does that mean i need to use factor 70next time i go on holiday?
not that i go very brown, frankly, stupid irish heritage.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:35,
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We don't, thoughWe have the same rules for all religious nutcases. The only difference is whether they've bothered to be horrendously racist and inflammatory before they already in the UK - if they haven't, it's difficult to prevent.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:02,
Reply)
Well, we could let him inSo that he could spout off a load of bollocks, but since he'd shortly be chucked out again for inciting racial hatred and generally being a belming great mong, it seems a bit pointless to let him in in the first place. After all, he is entitled to his own opinion and to express it, even though it's blatantly arse gravy of the most putrid and runny kind.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:27, Reply)
For the love of Allah.Won't someone think of the environment? Surely the sensible thing to do would be to let him video-conference his thoughts of musings to the UK?
*Right on kids!*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
It's like when Nick whatshisface BNP went on NewsnightMost people were unaware of this until protesters turned up and got shedloads of publicity for him
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
YOU MEAN NICK CLEGG?RIGHT KIDS?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
CONDEMNATION!(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:32,
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Don't say that in front of djtphe's mental over depeche mode, the big gayer.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:46,
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I started out thinking I was going to be his fag-hag.Who knew.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:55,
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Erasure are the gayer band of the two though.And you bloody encouraged it!
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:51,
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They're up there with Bronski Beat.Literally, I'll be bound. You know what 'they' are like.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
"Dance, rock, feel the heat, have a happy Christmas, from Bronski Beat."You'll be bound AND gagged, listening to pumpin' Bronski Beat remixes while dwarves tickle yer balls.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
Me?I encouraged the Monty Python phase. I think you'll find Erasure was all down to the crazy lady.
I think I got the better of her fanaticisms - scifi.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
You took him to see them and you got him the necklace.Aw, but if it weren't for that necklace I wouldn't have assumed he was a friendly gay I could stay with darn sarf and we'd never have got chatting. Maybe.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:57,
Reply)
interesting storywhen we went to see them in glesca, the hotel we stayed at (a super discount cos it was the same chain as the one i worked at) they tried to give us a double room.
After I explained we weren't actually from Cowdenbeath, they changed it to a twin, but wouldn't be any more accommodating than that.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:00,
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Oh I do not give a shit.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:45,
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Still in bed.I've done some mischief to myself, I accidently elbowed a fireplace yesterday and now my arm's incredibly sore and I can't really move it.
And my lectures don't start til 4.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
Bad luck on the elbow :(Still, at least you can relax a bit until 4.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:59,
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Thanks :(Not sure how much is residual muscle pain from Tuesday, but the right arm's ok. Was a real pain trying to get to sleep last night.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:01,
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Kind the opposite problem to Crow- overly-stiff elbows.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:55,
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This is literally THE BEST WAY.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:51,
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Has Poppet told you of the plan?It's well near where I used to live, I'll get nostalgic.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:54,
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I am aware there is a plan, the contents of which escape me but I think involved eating.Rest assured I shall attend, I wouldn't miss it.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:49,
Reply)
We should ban Mary Kill-The-Cat from the park as wellShe keeps shouting how everyone's nicked her ciggies.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:50,
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Mary-kill-the-Cat is a misnomer.She loved her cats. All of them.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:57,
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Local mental?We've got several in Macc, but one brings me endless amusement. She can often be spotted either singing in Tesco for the till workers, or rhymically walking to music in pubs. Considering some of these bands are pretty heavy, it gets very funny, very quickly.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
oh god macc is FULL of nuttersthey've been there since they closed the local nuthouse and half of them moved out onto the street.
there used to be a mad-eyed bloke who played a plastic flute, the kind you get in a cheap cracker, for money and then growled at you down the flute if you didn't give him anything. the only good thing about macc is the train station!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
We've got a few good pubs, and a bowling alley in the middle of fucking nowhere too!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:59,
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there's a guy in a wheelchair on the main streetand he mumbles along to songs playing on a small karaoke box. Every time I pass by he's singing 'I Walk the Line'.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:03, Reply)
I'm not averse to the idea of a higher level of energy - though I'd be loathe to label it as a sentient beingbut the whole religion thing can piss off. And anyone who claims to speak for some all-powerful, infallible ideal of god can piss right off along with it.
Frankly, I think a quote I read the other day sums it up:
"Religious beliefs are like willies. It's fine if you have one, enjoy it in private and share it with someone who asks. But don't get it out in public, and don't try to shove it down my throat."
Alt: for the same reason that fools fall in love. Drugs and alcohol. And horniness.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:52,
Reply)
I am of the same opinion about the 'energy' thing possibly being out there.But I reserve my right to go on about the saints, because they belong to me, and not to religion, they are my lucky charms.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:59,
Reply)
I quite like all the saints.My grandma used to have a couple of statues dotted about the place.
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girlinthehole, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:01,
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I now have two St Judes.Nana recently gave me one of hers.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:14,
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I just have the one 'energy' thingbut it generally answers all my questions, so as long as I remember to be grateful, I carry on.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:01,
Reply)
I swing between the 'thing', my dead grandma and St Jude.And St Anthony if I lose soemthing. And St Rita if I want Everton to win.
Oh sod it, I'm a religious nut!
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:18,
Reply)
My mate bought me the Bread boardgame recently.(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:27,
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The best thing to come out of religion is "Treat others how you want to be treated"Sadly this is not an acceptable defense against rape charges.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:08,
Reply)
No, the best thing to come out of religion is two days off at Christmas and Easter.(
girlinthehole, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:11,
Reply)
That's also goodI'm Agnostic, I don't know if any higher being exists or not, but I don't let the possibility of one affect my life. If I die and find myself stood in front of a God who demands to know why I didn't pray to him, I'll call him a cunt and flip him the bird.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:15,
Reply)
On the plus side, he got to have sex with a short girl with extremely low standards.(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)
Every vulva has a silver lining.(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:24,
Reply)
Nahhypoallergenic, isn't it? I'd imagine it'd be chafey, though. And cold.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)
yeah, Lab is clearly going straight to hell(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:20,
Reply)
I'll save you some good seats(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:24,
Reply)
Anyone fancy playing a game?I'm dead. I lived between 4 May 1930 – 13 February 1991.
Who am I?
Away you go!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
Nope.I did put a clue in the question, if that helps.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:54,
Reply)
Are you Henry Kelly?Goooooooing for goooooold.......
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
Henry Kelly.or Ron Pickering.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
Ahh the powers of Google, eh?(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:56,
Reply)
Ron Pickering!CORRECT!
(Did you Google it, or get it from the clue?)
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:57,
Reply)
The clue, dear boy.You could always see his vest through his shirt - this meant I disliked him intensely.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:01,
Reply)
It was a fucking sports day.A sports day on the telly.
And we watched it. Why??
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:06,
Reply)
It was nearly as shit as 'Why Don't You?'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:17,
Reply)
I used to watch Why Don't You?Unless it was presented by kids from either Northern Ireland or Newcastle.
I couldn't understand a fucking word they said.
Junior Kickstart was mint though. Cracking theme tune to boot!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:18,
Reply)
Oh man I'm gonna listen to it at dinner time(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:21,
Reply)
I loved why don't you.Only for the theme tune though.
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girlinthehole, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:21,
Reply)
WHYYYYY DON'T YOU!But not the updated '90s one though.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:22,
Reply)
Ron PickeringI am the only football player to have played for Manchester United, Newcastle, Liverpool and Everton. Who am I?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
A blight on society(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:57,
Reply)
you are FOOTBALL IS FUCKING BORING(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:58,
Reply)
AyeOk then, another
I was born Priscilla Maria Veronica White in 1943, I am more commonly known by my stage name, who am I?
Really fucking easy one there, shouldn't even need to look it up
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:01,
Reply)
Aye, she should.If I remember correctly, her stage name was accidental, wasn't it?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:05,
Reply)
Her entire career is a fucking enigma.For God's sake WHY?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:12,
Reply)
I thoroughly agreeAlthough it's quite a shock to see she sold a lorra lorra records in the 60s.
*feels dirty*
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:15,
Reply)
She's a 'singer', so you'd fuck her, right?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:18,
Reply)
I'd like to say that she was attractive when she was younger.But she wasn't.
Give me Lulu any day.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:22,
Reply)
that's not going to do much for a certain b3tan's self-esteem(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:44,
Reply)
I'm not entirely sure how offended she will be at this suggestion...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:15,
Reply)
I would have got this aye.My grandad's mam knew her mam because they both had stalls in the flea-market.
We all hate her.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:20,
Reply)
I was forced to watch Blind Date from a young age.I hate her too.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:22,
Reply)
My mum used to make us watch Surprise SurpriseShe couldn't wait for the bit at the end where people found their long-lost sisters. She'd be crying her eyes out.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:24,
Reply)
Oh, fucking hell.I was able to avoid that, fortunately. I think Casualty was on at the same time, or something like that.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:24,
Reply)
No, well at least not in the early days.It was Sunday night stuff.
I can do a boss impersonation of her 'summing up' bit at the end before she bursts into the song again.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:25,
Reply)
Happily, that means nothing to me.The only program I can ever remember being watched on Sundays was Heartbeat, and that's only because my sister had a massive crush on Nick Berry.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:48,
Reply)
Ugly as fuckPeter Beardsley.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:06,
Reply)
monty you utter utter beasti am going to be singing that inside my head for HOURS now.
"second verse, same as the first..."
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 10:57,
Reply)
Whoooooooo are you?(who-who, who-who)
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:00,
Reply)
Thanks, been working on itCan't do the neck thing though.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:03,
Reply)
I really wanna know.who-who who are youuuuuuu?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:10,
Reply)
on the plus side WOOOHOOO pay dayon the massively minus side, i seem to be £400 down on last month - and it seems to have gone on something horrendous called "income tax". why has this happened to me? has there been some vile new tax change i have been oblivious to???
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:02,
Reply)
I know someone who might be able to answer that for you.(
girlinthehole, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:04,
Reply)
yeahbut where is he when you need him, eh? men!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:17,
Reply)
£400Is probably enough to buy a Muslim a laptop with an Arabic keyboard.
It's all your fault.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:04,
Reply)
Yeah, I had a word with some close friends at the Treasuryhad them introduce a special rswipe tax band just for you. Hope you like it, hugs and kisses x ;)
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:08,
Reply)
this is outrageoushumph.
and whoever does our payslips calls my pension contribution "pension sacrifice". it sure is.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:17,
Reply)
Think of all those disabled black lesbians who can start interpretive theatre groups with your £400, though.Doesn't it make you weep with happiness?
/Why don't you just not pay into your pension scheme, then? it must be voluntary after all.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:19,
Reply)
because my dad told me i should always take up the maximum pension thingy offeredso i just did as i was told.
i don't expect to get a state pension by our generation, i'm living in my pension, basically. done the light fittings, now i just need new carpets, new curtains and new white goods. sigh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:38,
Reply)
depends how much your company are contributing I guess.Cos that's free money. plus pensions are more or less tax exempt.
But, yeah, I'm with you. I chuck all my spare cash at property.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:40,
Reply)
chucking someone else's cash at it is even betterwhere can i find an obscenely rich husband with no morals or standards?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:46,
Reply)
This.Although the problem with someone else's cash is they generally want it back when they discover you're already married to some accountant off the internet.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:08,
Reply)
I don't have a pensionMy work don't currently offer one. When I retire (aged 95 the way the government works) I'll spend whatever money I have left, rack up huge debts, have an almighty party then kill myself.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:22,
Reply)
I'm going to spend my whole life paying into a fairly generous USS pension schemeonly for the Government to change the rules and take it off me when I retire. I can see no flaws with this at all.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:32,
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Someone should do a "last text you recieved" threadI've got a cracker.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)
Jacob's Cream, Carr's Water Biscuit...? I mus kno!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:22,
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Crow's Soggy more like(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:23,
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Is it from a girl?And would you describe this girl as 'hot'?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:22,
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"We'll just leave it, yeah?"From a girl who told me I was a prick last night. She can fuck right off.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:23,
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Last text I received reads....Two asian brothers were killed after they fell through the ice on a frozen pond in Birmingham. ITV have decided 2 make a programme about their 3rd brother who escaped the ordeal. Its called
Dan Singh on ice.
(It's the 3 time I've been sent it, it wasn't very funny the first time).
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:32,
Reply)
From your b3ta posting historyI'm sure you're guilty of sending much worse jokes to your friends.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)
My friend texted me this joke off sickipedia last night"Katie Price splits with Alex Reid "for children's sake".
Turns out Harvey was jealous cause he wasn't the biggest spastic of the family."
Made me chuckle.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:42,
Reply)
no wayi'm far too smug as it is.
the one before that just says "fucking fucking hell this is dull." it is from a colleague who is in a training session that i have tomorrow. o joy.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:42,
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We're running a training course for lawyers at the moment...I very much doubt your colleague is in ours.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:44,
Reply)
yours would be much more interestingours is on electronic filing!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:46,
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Ours is on Forensic AwarenessSo definitely more interesting!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:50,
Reply)
Pfftmine said 'I really hope you can give BLOOD again today!' (it was from the NBS, I might add, not some kinky Dracula-a-like)
How's that for dull. I can't even remember the last time I got one off a real person - the one before that was from orange wednesdays.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)
Were Orange asking you if you'd found a +1 yet?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:56,
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mine says "I'll get some bread"jealous?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:46,
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it was Hovis Seed Sensations(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:49,
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It's all moot anyway.Physical presence of the lowlife isn't actually necessary. There is nothing to stop the twats hosting the thing on-line and projecting it onto the wall of their den of vileness.
Good job they're too stoopid to realise this.
(, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)
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