i say that i just got the most gorgeous bunch of red roses
i am beginning to think that fate is taking the piss, except that it's a rather expensive thing to do. also my trainee clearly thinks i sent them to myself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:31, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

We are all of a similar mindset to your trainee.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:33, Reply)

ha
i might have done if i could have afforded it this week. it's been a salutory lesson in how much i have gotten used to spending on shit like lunch/taxis/blow-drying without even thinking about it.

a lesson which i can't WAIT to forget on pay day.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

So who sent you your roses?
Or is it a mystery?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)

i have a vague idea

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Because your latest bank statement shows a purchase made by you to Interflora?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Awww!
Rswipes got an admirer!
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)

are you bragging or something

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

yes
yes i am.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)

The sad thing is
she DID send them to herself, just so she could go on the internet and tell people that she's never met that she got them. Now, if you or I were to do something like that, we wouldn't actually bother sending the flowers, but Swipey couldn't get her head around the double lie this would involve.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)

I'm nipping 'round ASDA tommorow when it's all half priced so I can clean up all the leftovers.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

By 'leftovers', I mean, the unloved and unwanted, rather than the food sense.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Just make a beeline
for the ladies with the smudged masscara standing in front of the half empty "cards and chocolates" display.

They'll be vulnerable and therefore easy
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

*Gets a few v-day gifts (about £11 worth) and takes them up the pretty girl on the counter*
"Please, my girlfriend is going to kill me, I've only got £10 but I really need these, can you please sort me out, you'll be a life saver, just this once."
* After a bit of begging and pleeding *
"Oh thanks, by the way, these are for you....."
*Hands over the stuff *

OH MAN, I should totally write a book.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Or a blog...

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Oh man, I'll write up one tonight about all the smooth things I would do if I wasn't cripplingly shy.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Bloody hell
what's your tally for today already then? It's barely even the afternoon!
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

it makes up for the last 3 years
3 cards, 1 cupid gaz and 2 bunches of flowers. but 1 was from the ex, and therefore doesn't count, as he is a married stinking sack of shit who just wants to cheat on his wife!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Pffft
Do you want a side order of croissants with that?

I received today exactly the same thing as I have received for the last *counts* 4 years: A gert big fuck all.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)

i've been in 3 and 4 year relationships where i got fuckall
this is why today is so surprising!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Sensible question time
if Valentines means a lot to you, why didn't you say something after the first time?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

the first time around we were at uni
and it never occurred to me.

the second time, if you want me to be brutally honest.... i didn't want another black eye/split lip!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 14:16, Reply)

My tally is: 2 wanks
1 little cry, 1 lord's prayer,1 big cry, 1 session of self harm and some self loathing poetry.

Later I'm making cupcakes...WITH MY BLOOD!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Only 2?
Have you got little flid arms or something?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

My mother died of little flid arms, you bastard!


She couldn't get the Lemon curd open and starved to death
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)

She could get it open?
EDIT - sneaky ninja
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Proper officelol!!
Now with added golf clap
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

I had a wank fantasising over the Valentines card I received earlier.
Then I looked at it again and recognised my mum's handwriting.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)

and decided to fist myself instead, for old times sake

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)

how much did they cost you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Her self respect

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

i don't care what any of you say
for once i am smug and totally open to the idea of romance and there is no such thing as a bastard-man on the entire planet, you're all lovely and sweet... lalalala...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

*wipes on curtains*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

+ beef

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:59, Reply)