I know it's not links but this is ace!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hwVRzaQNkA&feature=player_embedded#at=32


when did you last eat an entire cake in the dark whilst masturbating and crying until the police turn up as the neighbours have called the police do to "animal Wailings" eminating from your house?

SFW
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 15:56, 169 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Links is that way
EDIT: Also i need a question eg when did you last eat an entire cake in the dark whilst masturbating and crying until the police turn up as the neighbours have called the police do to "animal Wailings" eminating from your house?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Last night.
How you know the details so precisely is unsettling in the extreme.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:11, Reply)

he is a subscriber to the web-cam site

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:14, Reply)

I was behind the rubber plant

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:15, Reply)

You were behind the Holocaust.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:17, Reply)

*bows*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:21, Reply)

It's my highest compiment.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:28, Reply)

LOOK, LOOK SPELLING MISTAKE
What a cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I got excited about the Holocaust and my hand slipped.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:42, Reply)

that's pretty cool
but I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the world that doesn't play that game
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I bet Winnie Mandela doesn't play it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

You think I do? I am upset by this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

likewise
I have played it though, and I think it is shit and dull.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:14, Reply)

I haven't even played it once.
I wouldn't even know where to go to try to play it, if I ever even wanted to.

This probably means that I win something. Like cake.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:16, Reply)

You can share it with me,
The only reason I've even heard of it is from Rswipe on here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:17, Reply)

you'd be appalled Monters
I honestly have no idea why it has become such a big thing, other than because it has been talked about as one.

It's simple and not all that much fun. I've even played better versions of the same type of thing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I only like 'Space Invaders', 'Breakout', and 'Daley Thompson's Decathlon'.
All other games are for bottom-wranglers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Did you have a Spectrum or a Commodore?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:23, Reply)

In truth, neither.
I had hand-held Space Invaders and Breakout, and played Daley Thompson no more than about three times at friends' houses. I was more interested in books and music. This has not changed one iota.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Should you ever get the urge to play Daley Thompson's Decathlon again
You can, here.

www.zxspectrum.net/
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I am as interested in books and music as can be
and yet still have time and energy to expend on being interested in other things.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

....such as donkey porn,
sheep shagging and being a part-time Pakistani.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:34, Reply)

It achieved a critical mass, whereby enough people had it and talked about it that it's growth was self sustaining

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Bit like my penis, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:23, Reply)

You get turned on by your penis?
Self-gayer
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:24, Reply)

I don't, no. Why do you ask?
Do you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:26, Reply)

I saw something about it on fb. Then my roommate was all "OH EM GEE" between phone and dinner but mostly phone playing this game one night.
I think I managed to eat, clean and smoke before she even managed to eat one part of her meal while playing this stupid game.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I spend my life trying desperately to avoid angry birds.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

lol

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Are you a green pig?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Are you a Benny?
Specifically one restrained by cord secured around a deciduous growth?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Stop it.
*Laughs*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Not you, earlier:


( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:32, Reply)

POTD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I graciously accept this award.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I am neither of these things
Why did no children in the 70's answer this way?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:25, Reply)

The reason for this is that you are a
BENNY ON THE LOOSE! BENNY ON THE LOOSE!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:27, Reply)

That was as easy as (you being a) ABC

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

My answer easily sidestepped your crude logic trap, this leaves me to conclude
that you are the actual Benny and should be tied to DF post haste.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Typical Benny on the loose reply ^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:33, Reply)

You insufferable tit!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:35, Reply)

If you promise to remain tied to your tree throughout
you are welcome to join us for curry tomorrow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Fixing up the bathroom I'm afraid, but might order in!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:51, Reply)

I played it for about thirty seconds on Kitty's phone on the train.
It was shit and dull and I hated it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:19, Reply)

did you punch her in the face for making you play it?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I would never punch kitty in the face.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:28, Reply)

kick in the cunt?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I asked one of our undergrads today whether she'd clunge-punched someone
the look she gave me was priceless. I sometimes forget I can't say things in real life that I would on here...
(berk, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:33, Reply)

+til her tits explode?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:36, Reply)

if she's your friend it's okay to hit her
I high five my friend ruthie in the face all of the time*.
*Just once actually
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:32, Reply)

If you love her so much why don't you just marry her.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:42, Reply)

YEAH

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:47, Reply)

*high fives*
correct response is correct
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Woo!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:28, Reply)

That phrase makes me want to defend it
but I can't its rubbish, how has it become such a big deal.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

it's like U2
people don't realise its shit because so many people say it isn't. No one actually enjoys it, they just think they should so pretend to.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I love U2

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:31, Reply)

*ducks*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:35, Reply)

*geese*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:45, Reply)

i prefer *gooses*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Yeah you do
you disgusting molester.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Ouch. Your fingernails are rather long, dear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:53, Reply)

hey, i just had them manicured
i'll have my nail-bitch file them a little shorter next week.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:53, Reply)

that's because you don't know anything about music
and are a deviant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:41, Reply)

i like it because the birds are cute
and the pigs fill me with rage when they snigger, so i want to hurt them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I really like Cut The Rope, much more fun. Bug Wars is supposed to be good too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:42, Reply)

WORDS.
I've never heard of these games. I don't really play a lot of games, maybe that's why I'm half retarded.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Just realised that you've actually asked my suggested question!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Well this wasn't meant to be a real thread
I just thought the woman had mad cake baking abilities.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Sorry to interrupt
but I see Spanky got back to QOTW about an hour ago and no one has got themselves worked up about his lies yet.


As you were.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Oooh you big stirrer you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Hahahha excellent news.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Oh ffs I can't read the pawwing wank in the replies.
God I hate his fan club.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:49, Reply)

It is quite disturbing.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:51, Reply)

I have replied.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I noticed

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:56, Reply)

A considered response.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Ha ha ha ha,
you'll get banned now.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:57, Reply)

HOLY SHIT! You've got breasts?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Succinct and true

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:01, Reply)

I'm still waiting for my Spanky validation, the ungrateful cunt
*drums desk*
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Why all the hate?
Seriously, I don't get it. He posts stories that are usually pretty openly fabrications, but are well-written and pretty funny. People respond well to a well-written story. Simple as that. So why does he irritate you so much?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Because he's a bore, it's a rinse and repeat of the same fucking story, which was shit in the first instance
and he's a wanker
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:13, Reply)

because it's quite dull
and that is biggest crime you can get on the internet.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:14, Reply)

I guess I just don't find him dull.
He generally makes me chuckle, even if it's a rehash of an old theme.

*shrug*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:16, Reply)

I bet you like Red Dwarf as well don't you?
fucking bender.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:17, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:18, Reply)

No
but Pratchett usually makes me laugh. Does that make me a prole?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Nah I don't mind pratchett.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

yes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:25, Reply)

That makes you:
a) 16-18 years old;
b) a velour-wearing, real-ale-drinking member of the folk scene; or
c) fairly dull
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:25, Reply)

b) YES!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:26, Reply)

d) all of the above

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Would you like to have an affair with me?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Can we sit around post-coitally slagging off The Beatles and Arcade fucking Fire?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Yes, yes we can.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Excellent.
However, due to an alarming number of Boyces in my family, I'm wary of doing a Bert.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Don't worry - it's not my real name!!!11!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:33, Reply)

*Monty in made up Internet name shocker*
Grand. We're good to go. I'll bring the bile and you bring the rage. Venom makes the best lube.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:35, Reply)

So true.
*sighs contentedly*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:35, Reply)

I don't think I own any velour
other than a patch on some old jeans, and I don't think I qualify as part of the folk scene. But I do like real ale.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:33, Reply)

That's the English version.
The US version would be "do you go to Ren Fairs"?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Only one
and that's because it's one of the country's biggest and is a great laugh. I never bother with the smaller local ones, but I do love the Maryland one, especially as it's in the fall when the weather is gorgeous.

But I do play guitar and like to go camping...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:39, Reply)

nowt wrong with guitar and camping

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Also they are not well written; you can smell the over effort in them
and it smells like pouch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Exhibit A
"For me battling the baby batter belching beef bazooka..."

Fuck off with your fucking alliteration to fraudulant fucking flid
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I have to admit I didn't read a word of it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

I got banned once for saying he was a shit spam bot.
So he deserves to die.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Because they aren't well written and aren't funny.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Stop copying me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Great minds and all that, Monty.
Alt: fools seldom differ.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:22, Reply)

They are neither well-written nor pretty funny.
Tedious, hackneyed drivel with a teeth-clenching inevitability to them that makes me want to kill myself.

'People respond well to a well-written story' - or, 'idiots like shit', as Elton John's massive success attests.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:17, Reply)

I don't get it The Resident Loon either.
I mean, it's not like you have to read his posts, I've not read a single one by him, I just tried to read that new one 'cus of the attention it got on here, got up to a load of words begining with 'b' that was a euphanisum for his penis, and thought "Fuck that" and came straight back here to tell you that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Hi!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

OH HAI MONTIEZ !
OH BOI BOI, I R OFF OME INNIT BRUV GUVNA INNIT.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:37, Reply)

WIKED MAIT/ L8RZ

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:41, Reply)

It may be a cultural thing.
I have gotten used to reading Britspeak and have gotten used to the strange euphemisms that appear on the QOTW for various things, so usually I glance over them and translate them to English in my head and keep going. It makes them easier to read, somehow. Not just his posts, but all of them.

It's a bit weird, though- the people who are popular and get a lot of votes on a recurring basis seem to draw a lot of ire. First Legless, then Pooflake, then SpankyHanky... I guess I just have a higher tolerance for wordy posts than most.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:30, Reply)

I have no problem with wordy.
But I have no truck with turdy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:33, Reply)

I am struggling to overlook your allusion
that "Britspeak" and English aren't one and the same thing.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:35, Reply)

They aren't.
One of the two doesn't exist.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:38, Reply)

Arriving at the same point from different directions.

( Kroney, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Well...
until I came to this site I had never encountered "todger", "mimsy", "spam purse" or any of the other dozens of odd phrases used for anatomical bits or various sex acts. Since I've been here I've learned a lot about rhyming slang and the other oddities that infest British English that the rest of the English speaking world don't seem to bother with. It takes a lot of effort to translate it, frankly. So Spanky's terminology is not much of a stretch for me to understand and translate.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:45, Reply)

'until I came to this site I had never encountered "todger"'
Not what I've heard.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Pooflake is a punning genius.
I have no beef with Pooflake.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I've always hated joining sevrel swear words or animals together to form a new swear, like "Aligator shitcunt" and "Wanking Rhyno Bumfarts".
I find it really unimaginative, like Might Boosh, lolrandom and lolwaki isn't my cup of tea.

I don't mind wordy as long as the words add something to the story, and I find meaningless similies that are written just for the sake of fille, dull.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Agreed.
"badger twunts" is not an effective swearword. Not like "fucking cunts" is.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Yes, and yes once again for emphasis.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I am totally coming up on my paracetamol, that must be why I'm so on your wavelength this afternoon.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:42, Reply)

Listen out for the backwards sitar music.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I feel precisely the same way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:39, Reply)

as do I
if it rolls off the tongue then perhaps fair enough, but they usually don't
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:52, Reply)

You should change your band name to
'Wanking Rhyno Bumfarts'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:58, Reply)

it is his specialist subject, to be fair!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Why can't I find it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Because you are a mongol?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:55, Reply)

She said an hour ago and it was more like 9!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Time flies when you're having fun.
And also when you're ill, trying to work, posting on here, and generally feeling miserable.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Just Google the Jasper Carrot sketch about giving a semen sample
it's what he did.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Post a link in the replies, you know you want to

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Ah, there you are.
Where have you been, you repulsive homo?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:00, Reply)

hey hey hey
don't make me whiteknight my own husband...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Fag hag

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:03, Reply)

come to think of it, i've never actually had sex with my own husband
so you may well be right. he IS a homo...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Sounds kinky

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I've been doing that horrible thing that I do for money (I don't even want to type the word)
yup, i've been w**king, w**king myself senseless Monty. Never has a man w**ked so hard and so long.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Spanky, great to have you back bro.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:04, Reply)

It's the longest I have spent off B3ta
I almost became a productive member of society. I was even starting to take my job seriously.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:09, Reply)

You are so gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

it is beginning to sound as if you really want this to be true!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:11, Reply)

He's been trying to set me up with someone for ages...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I am merely pointing out what everyone bar you has known for yonks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I'm not gay
but my boyfriend is
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I read that this morning
and was gobsmacked at just what a one trick pony he was, and then at just how pathetic the people who post replies to his stories are.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Well, if its any consolation, his IVF hasn't worked yet.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:57, Reply)

He's probably wanked all the sperm out of himself

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

If I was his doctor
I'd put his sperm in the microwave for 20 mins to make sure he's a evolutionary dead end.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:00, Reply)

If I was his doctor
I would cut his face off with a scalpel and feed it to DF's gay rats.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:04, Reply)

"if i was" ? "IF I WAS"?
oh monty. you've changed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Well, they were starting to smell, even with my shoes on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

I was quoting 'Midge Ure'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

The Geldof Arms was always quite popular.
The Ure Inn, not so much.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:37, Reply)

^ You see, THAT is how to do it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:41, Reply)

He puts the 'pony' into 'one trick pony'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Boring situation
+ unfeasible women + elaborate nob euphemisms + crap payoff = spankyhanky

He used to amuse me at first, but so did JMG. They both have the same problem. Crippling lack of imagination.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:24, Reply)

By the way
I've posted now, so time for this thread to die. It's becoming traditional.
( Kroney, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Haha
/OT's own Domestos
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:29, Reply)

lack of imaginartion self diagnosed asperges
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:26, Reply)

I ate almost a whole pack of sponge fingers this morning.
I disgust myself.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:49, Reply)

at least you ate them
it could have been worse
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:53, Reply)

I had eaten a whole pac of 'Tuc' crackers by 10am.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:59, Reply)

Didn't have you down as a union man

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 18:02, Reply)

I'm having pizza tonight. Homemade, though.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 18:02, Reply)

Fantastic cake
but am I alone in thinking that the boy looks like a bit of a shit?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 18:03, Reply)