titmilk
so the titmilk ice cream that was being sold in covent garden has just been banned for health and safety reasons. this and the titcheese that was being sold in new york horrified me but other people on here didn't seem to mind the idea at all.

so: would you try, or have you tried, breastmilk past the age of 12 months?

alt q: what other social conventions would you smash?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:24, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I tried my wifes breast milk.
Its very sweet and tastes rather good, no wonder babies like it. I think banning it is retarded. If new borns can drink it then it surely is fit for human consumption. Do they screen every single cow? No they pasteurised it so I don't see what the problem is.

*edit* Just to clarify, I tried it after it was expressed in to a bottle, I didn't suck her tits whilst saying "bitty"
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Can I try it straight from her breast instead then?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Yes
Yes you can
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Oh, I don't really know what to say now, I didn't expect that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I can't refuse you Gonz

( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)

nobody could

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Has she had the new sprog yet?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Nope,
Fucking slacker.
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I haven't, but I'd probably give it a go
Not as cheese, but as milk.

Alt Q: Facial and neck tattoos. I'd love for these to be more socially acceptable, something along the lines of the examples shown in this pic from the blog of artist Tomas Tomas (French, to link in to the previous thread).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:28, Reply)

8 has a tattooed penis, would you go for that?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:30, Reply)

No I would not
But I think the tattoo in 8 is around the pubic area, not the penis itself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Would you get a VW logo tattooed on your penis for a scirocco?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)

fuck yeah

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Oddly, I prefer the Megane coupe.
This is strange because I'm a VAG man at heart and I hate French cars.
( Kroney, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Most of us are Vag men
except Darth, obviously.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

You said you'd buy me one anyway

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Only if I ever become rich
which is unlikely
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:44, Reply)

sell your titmilk
it goes for £15 a pop in covent garden...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Whilst I wouldn't personally have a facial tattoo
I would love for them to be socially acceptable. When a personal choice doesn't hurt others I see no reason to belittle it.
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Why has he only drawn a dick on number 8?
Surely having your bellend coloured in is going to sting.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

TOO SLOW

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)

img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2011/02/18/article-1298049442990-0D40D92A000005DC-361822_466x361.jpg
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Indeed
For every amazing tattoo there are many examples of utterly terrible tattoos, and poorly chosen tattoos.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Wearing a scarf indoors

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Part of me wanted to try that. Sadtimes
I bet the H&S is a cover from some fat middle aged woman who was crying to her rich daddy that she found it disgusting and he called up a board of directors and they called a board of directors and then Mi5 got involved and there was an "incident" and the ice cream just "disappeared"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Oh this isn't Rachel, she is neither fat or middleaged. Maybe in five years though...

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

depends how much titmilk ice cream i consume

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:35, Reply)

well none now
Unless you have it all?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:36, Reply)

nope
i'll just stick to ben and jerrys and get too fat to leave my flat in 3 years instead.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Monday: story in the Metro.
Wednesday: knee-jerk banning.

I think they were screening their suppliers with the same criteria they use for blood donors so I don't see a problem.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)

David Cameron and Nick Clegg have confiscated the lot
and are busy smearing all over themselves in a blow-up paddling pool. They believe the magic of boob-juice will grant them eternal life.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:40, Reply)

*bokes*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I'd try it as milk
but I'm not a fan of cheese in general

alt: no idea. Probably the stigma attached to cannibalism
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Sure, why not?
It's already been done by fashion student types, but I am looking forward to the days when I can clone my own skin and have it made into a suit.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)

is that in the Algebraist?
would be pretty awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Excession, I think.
I will try to find a link when I get back from smoking.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I was really struggling to remember
so you are probably correct.

Great idea anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:35, Reply)

It'd go wrinkly in the rain though

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I don't really consume milk other than in tea and coffee.
Logically, there's nothing particularly bad about drinking human milk. Certainly there's nothing more wrong with it than consuming the milk of another species. The fact of the matter is that biologically we're not supposed to continue consuming milk at all beyond weaning. At some point we overcame our original intolerance to the extent that we could process it, but even so, there's no particular benefit to it.

It's social convention more than anything else that makes it seem unpleasant.

So yeah, I'd give it a bash. Not at £15 pounds a fucking scoop, though. Daylight robbery.
( Kroney, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

How about we have another Cornwall bash
in the next 4 months or so and I shall bring breast milk for everyone to try.
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:35, Reply)

sounds good to me
the bash bit, not necessarily the breast milk
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:35, Reply)

First two weeks in April the weather is usually great here

( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:42, Reply)

That's when I usually start camping
I'll probably aim to be down there at some point anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Oooh, hello dearie! Coo-ee!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:48, Reply)

precisely

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Well feel free to visit us
And suck my wifes tits we can go for a surf?
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I'll keep you posted as to my plans
and we can probably sort something out
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Unless your car "breaks down"

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:53, Reply)

it's highly likely
have you not been paying attention?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

In general? Yes
To anything you've said? No
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

can't say I blame you
the latest is that I had to remove the fuse for the ABS because that and the traction control kept kicking in when they weren't supposed to.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I'd like to hear you explaining that one to your wife
Darling, I'm going to need some extra milk today for me and my internet friends"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)

That's pretty much how I would put it.
She'd probably be even more likely to provide it if she new the internet friends would be drinking it.
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Can you start making some Yop out of it now?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:46, Reply)

No
No I can't
( Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)

But if you were going to, how would you go about doing it?
I guess you could force feed her some strawberries and mash her tits about a bit.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

tityop is a great word
or yoptits
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Have done, not a problem.
Let's face it, it's considerably less offensive than going down on an unhygienic minge, and I am sad to say I have done this without voicing a complaint.

I would make racist/homophobic attacks not only legal, but rewarded by the state in done in an inventive way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:39, Reply)

The gay-bashing could see an award given to people by the Queen
It could be the 'New Years Hommers List'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Tatchell-baiting live on Saturday afternoons on the BBC

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:42, Reply)

It could be a special feature on Grandstand hosted by Claire Balding.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)

For the jibe of the week she has a lez-off with Gabby Yorath

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Wrestling with each other in a paddling pool full of titmilk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Much better

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:05, Reply)

You know, this is probably why b3ta is now blocked on my phone
those hooning great cunts at O2 have decided that the default state will now be no 18+ sites on the phone unless you prove you're an adult. Which means either giving them a credit card number (debit won't work) or making a special trip into town to show them my photo ID.

FUCK OFF O2 YOU'RE NOT MY MUM.

I wasn't that bothered, bit miffed about not getting onto sickipedia yesterday, but today I discover b3ta is blocked. Anyone know any aliases I can try?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:40, Reply)

You can't blame titcheese for the fact that you can't be trusted around 'sexy websites'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Because b3ta is a constant steamy orgy of hardbodied cold-eyed sexbombs

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)

lampito does

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I used to know one but I can't remember it
it's totally on the tip of my brain but just won't solidify. Argh.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Bit like titcheese, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:44, Reply)

ffs
that is making me heave.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

you should have a nice warm glass of titmilk to settle your stomach

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)

fucking hell
warm milk is vile enough.

but warm titmilk?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:02, Reply)

If you take tit-milk from witches it'll come out chilled.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

*nods sagely*
This is right. And Eskimos.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:15, Reply)

try jelly.b3ta.com
it's got round the filters here and I can't imagine O2's ones are stricter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Nope, they are wise to that one.
I have the afternoon off, I'll go into the store and get one of their monkeys to confirm that I'm not a spotty teenager.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:47, Reply)

maybe this is a sign you shouldn't go on b3ta anymore
*hopes*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

NEVER!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:06, Reply)

That's the one I'm using now.
3 block ridiculous things, though. Might call and see if they would let me unblock sites like LiC described.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Odd, I've never had any problems with restrictions on my O2 phone
They don't have my credit card details, just my debit account.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Orange does that to me. but I've found it works if someone sends me a link to a thread I can get into it that way
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I remember this discussion
I'd never touch it. I find the idea personally slightly awful.

Alt: We don't need exams man. Smash the system!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

*struggles to not mention something else he saw on QI*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Go on, treat yourself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)

just saw in the thread below Monty
you mentioned Royal Tokaji. Got a bottle of that last year, still haven't drunk it because I can't cook food nice enough
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

oooo, I can!
come and visit!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:58, Reply)

*pushes Vippers out the way*
Please miss! Miss!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:03, Reply)

You can't demand fine wine with that signature

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:15, Reply)

exams were invented at oxford
for education purposes. I thinkt he chinese probably invented them a million years ago. they seem to have been ahead of the game back in ye olde days
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:51, Reply)

you are probably right
there are loads of the buggers too, so they almost certainly needed a quick way to test them

edit: I just had a vision of a massive formation of chinese people being asked questions and chanting the answers all at the same time, with anyone who gets it wrong being eliminated.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I no, rite?
They've had cloning technology for years.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:54, Reply)

racistlols
But really I'm disgusted at you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

It doesn't bother me particularly
I heard it was banned because of complaints, not H&S though...

Alt Q: I'd like to get rid of doggers. They've interrupted me twice this week now!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Can't a man bury a dismembered prostitute in some secluded woodland in peace any more?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:57, Reply)

True story, a dogger once came on Nigel Slater's back and his dad got angry when he pretended it was dog drewl.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:01, Reply)

It was you, wasn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Precisely!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Titcheese, on a cracker. Served with a Titshake.
Alt: Not being able to lick your plate in a restaurant/polite company.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Ask for a slice of bread to mop up the sauce/gravy
much more politerer.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

much more politer?
really? This is why o2 are really trying to stop you getting on here so we don't get eye raped by yuor pots
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Ironylolz
Yuor a fine one to talk.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Pretty sure "yuor pots" was deliberate

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Like *GLESS* was?
The girl can't spell for shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Like a Northerner?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:11, Reply)

We did it at home when I was growing up
But mum disapproved if we were dining out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)

So did we.
My Dad would save gravy to have with the bread.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:18, Reply)

If there's a lot of gravy left on my plate (which is a rare occurrence - gravy/potato ratio and consumption is a science)
my nana leaps up and says "Will I do you a butty, girl?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Thank God for Nanas.
Waste not, want not.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I wanted to do this last night.
I had some of that new chicken things, the one where you put breasts (pfft) into the provided bag with the provided spices, then cook it in the oven. Shocklingly, it was very good. And the juices left afterwards were fucking delicious to dip wedges into.

EDIT: Season and Shake, I think it's called
EDIT 2: Nope, here it is - www.tesco.com/groceries/Product/Details/?id=260210716
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:15, Reply)

wedges

etc etc.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I have some similar ones in the cupboard
I shall give it a go then - although it says 4 that seems a bit much for just me.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

We did it with chicken wings last night, it works just as well
They could easily be cooked, left to chill, then taken for a picnic, or to work. Seriously good.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I'll pick up a couple of wings or thighs then and give it a go.
Cheers!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I have never had titmilk.
My mother denied me this, and now I am orally fixated.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I dreamt about your wedding last night.
You looked lovely.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:18, Reply)

IS SOMEBODY GETTING MARRIED?
Also, ooooh what was I wearing?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Nothing
You completely upstaged everyone.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:21, Reply)

made 'em throw up more like

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Either way, you ruined their day.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I can't remember but I do remember you had longer hair.
I wore my prozzie coat, (fake fur leopard skin), to the wedding and was mortified to find several other women in the same coat.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Did you decide to set it on fire again?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I will have all other leopards, tigers, cheetahs and ocelots slain at the door in order to prevent this occuring.
I wonder if I will ever change my hair...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I also seem to remember having trouble finding somewhere to park.
Not very exciting....sorry!
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Can you have a better dream tonight please?
Maybe something like Cagney & Lacey.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:31, Reply)

I will try.
The groom was definitely DJTP. I hope this is good news.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Could do better...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Alt Q: The love between an older woman and a much younger man.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Oh aye?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Not that young.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Damn.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I did it for you, blousy.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Hooray!
Don't let the naysayers convince you it's wrong.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

They were paying £15 for 10oz of breastmilk.
I wish I'd been selling mine.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)