So I was watching Heir Hunters this morning
and there was a woman who'd died, leaving a Kensington flat worth six hundred thousand pounds.

I mean, seriously???? Six hundred thousand???? For a fucking flat??????

I cannot adequately convey how abhorrent I find this. What ridiculous display of capitalism/consumerism/inflation/money stuff has completely disgusted you recently?

Alt: What would you do with £600,000?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:13, 119 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Buy two nice houses around here
Live in one, rent the other out.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

this sounds like a good idea
I believe, up north, you could even buy six houses, and become a slum landlord.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

+ty
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

pfffft
I remember when I moved down to England, I was appalled at the cost of houses.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

you know why houses cost more in the south?
because it's that much nicer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

House prices are inversely proportional
to relative regional grimness.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

or directly proportional
to geographic niceness?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

within reason
clearly if things were correct my old one bed flat in Devon would be worth a couple of mil.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Even in towns next to each other prices can be ridiculous.
I wanted to live in Hebden bridge which is next to Tod and the type of house I could get for the same price as the one I live in now would have been a tiny one bedroom terraced.
( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

my mate is buying a place in Bristol
a house like mine but finished rather than a project was slightly less than I paid. If he got the same one in a different area of Bristol it would literally be twice the price.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:39, Reply)

I'm not really surprised
I don't find it abhorrent either. Location is a big factor in price.

Alt: buy a flat in London.

Edit: all joking aside, it's a good investment. I'd pay off my loans first though and buy some new clothes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

A more pertinent question would be
"What wouldn't I do with 600k".

Short of never working again, that's enough money to do pretty much anything with. I'd cash-buy a house, a couple of cars and still have plenty of money left over to invest and travel on.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

^this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Are you 60+? No way could I live on £600k for the rest of my life

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

"Short of never working again"

( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Oh yeah, didn't really read that properly...
I'm listening to Stewart Lee talking about vomiting into the gaping anus of Christ at the same time...it's a little distracting
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Why is that abhorrent?
If someone has the money and wants to spend it, what business is it of yours?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

and ^this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I'm guessing she is some sort of communist

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I don't disagree with you
I just mean that in this day and age, with so much poverty and struggle going on all around us, it really is disgusting that we have got to a point where property (and I'm not kidding, it was a pretty boring one-bedroom nothing-special type of flat) could be worth that amount of money.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Such is life

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I know. it's all a matter of supply and demand.
And people are willing to pay that much for the privilege of living in a nice part of London.

But when a premium like this is put on property in London, it makes property everywhere else more expensive.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

not to sound like a bastard
but the argument that other people don't have stuff doesn't really cut much ice with most people. I mean some people in Africa don't have food, does that make it a sin for me to have a gourmet meal?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

if you were to think like that you'd be an idiot
rejecting privilege because others don't have it is fucking stupid and backwards.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

^this
Having stuff isn't wrong. Capitalism and buying things isn't wrong.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

No, I know that
and I think laissez-faire is a pretty workable way of doing things.

But there again, I have absolute faith in the general goodness of human nature, but I find cruelty equally abhorrent.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Do you?
Have you been observing human nature? I've not noticed it being essentially good.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:28, Reply)

nor intelligent

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Particularly and especially
this^
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:32, Reply)

alright
the capacity for goodness. Will that do?


Or shall I just cock off?
*flounces*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

it has the capacity for almost everything
my mouth has the capacity for cock, doesn't mean any is going in there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Why would it
when your arse is about three feet away
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:33, Reply)

I considered that
but I wouldn't say it has the capacity
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Stay, with your lovely soul.
I'm picturing you with plaits now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:32, Reply)

my lovely soul is quite tearful by now
and it occurs to me that my lovely soul hasn't had any happy pills for over a week. This is not good. I must go to Boots later and see if I can find some.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:35, Reply)

you've just reminded me to take my anti-child medicines
I had to get some 'tesco value' ones because the local pharmacies have none of the branded stuff.
This is fine, but then my doctors kept forgetting to call back authorising the pharmacist to issue me with the identically-made Smart Price one. This morning, the pharmacist gave me some anyway because I need to take it TODAY and she said she'll face the consequences and get me some more later. WTF? Pill shortages now??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I'd like to think that
and that humanity is noble and intelligent. Unfortunately it just keeps proving that it isn't.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

A human being's default setting is a vicious, selfish, small-minded bigot.
They have to be trained out of it, not into it. Look at any child for proof. Social conditioning is all that seperates us from animals.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:38, Reply)

which is why I don't feel too bad about mainly looking out for myself and those I care about

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:40, Reply)

People have to prove to me that they're not a cunt before I'll give them a second thought.
Which is a pretty fucking sad state of affairs.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:44, Reply)

it is
I know a lot of great people at least, and the majority on here restore my faith a little bit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:45, Reply)

It smells strongly of hemp clothing
and I'll have no truck with it.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

On here this afternoon, you'll generally hear that as far as the poor go, it's all their own fault. Smelly little oiks.
They obviously got cut out of somebody's will a generation or so back.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

This.
If I was minted I'd do a ridiculous amount of things people would find abhorrent. I'd build a statue of myself out of marble for starters.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I've always wanted a full size replica of Stonehenge
but with the stones replaced with statues of me, either with hands stretched out above me for the verticals or reclining langorously for the horizontals
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

This is the most bizarre fantasy ever

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I'd call it Smughenge

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:26, Reply)

POTD!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

You've just repaid in kind
for that officelol earlier.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Brilliant!
*click*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

You are Nani
aicmfp
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Similar to Amberl
Pay off my debts for my whole time at uni, in full, possibly buy a flat/house in a reasonably nice bit of London (I'm thinking Winchester Row in Borough) though I'm not sure that would cover it :(

Or buy all the clothes and shoes in the world.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

It would cover deposit and the majority though
and if you kept ten thousand back you could get your cape as well.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Oh my cape my cape yesss
I think I will buy one of these when I have money. Maybe.

www.net-a-porter.com/product/98684

There were more patterns earlier :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I like!

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

They have a lovely oriental print one.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Oh my god
www.net-a-porter.com/product/104774

In any other colour. Oh my god. Beautiful.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Not like!

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I love buttons and tailcoats.
Just don't like the colour.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Yeah! the colour puts me off.

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Love the collar.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

this is my last purchase
http://www.bravissimo.com/products/clothing/coats-and-jackets/bravissimo/bl80-details.aspx?ck=H%2fbktQP0DTnrLEMN9BzIRJMA70li9REd

Well, mr b3th's.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:37, Reply)

I'm getting these on Saturday
www.jamesandjames.com/htmlfiles/shoefiles/flylondon/flywallblack.htm

to go with my wedding suit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I didn't look at who had written that before I clicked the link
and I thought 'those are a bit butch'...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)

hahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Ooh I like that!
The collar and the colour.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

and because it's Bravissimo
it's cut round my ample bosom.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Excellent times!
I've not looked at their clothing recently, but when I was last there it looked dreadful. Horrible fabric.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:45, Reply)

You wouldn't be able to do the latter because as it stands I'm close to buying all the clothes in the world.
I'm certain I have a problem.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I used to be just like that.
Get fat then say you won't buy clothes in size [X]. Then slim down, then start buying clothes again. Repeat whenever you need a break from buying all the clothes ever.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I've done the opposite, to the detriment of my bank balance.
Now I'm a small in everything again I've bought a daft amount of stuff. I can't buy any more £40 t-shirts.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I think twice about spending 30£ on one item. But this also applies to jewellery.
My favourite necklace cost around that. That could be, like, 2 nice dresses. Argh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Travel and find myself.

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

*buys Blousie a GPS*

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Make sure you go to the last place you saw yourself

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I can usually be fairly confident of finding myself
in front of the computer, the TV, or the fridge.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Or in bed

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:33, Reply)

I thought you would suggest St Anthony for help in finding.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:12, Reply)

He can't do ALL the work!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

By my powes of deduction I can assertain that Blousie is therefore
somewhere in her house where there be a mirror, MOST LIKELY the bathroom or hallway...

*puffs pipe*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:35, Reply)

s pipe

obvious strikethrough is obvious
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I wouldn't spunk it on a house or a flat, because I'm not sure where I want to settle
I would maybe buy something I could rent out so I always had a bit of an income, and I'd pay to get some kind of vocation, and I'd also have a laugh and be a tarot card reader and sell snake oil an' ting.
And loads of food.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

£600,000
would pay off my mortage, car, kitchen and holiday debts and leave about £450,000 to spend. I like this!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

pretty much any apartment or tiny ass house around here is obscenely expensive
even if it's shit
it's like "oh I know people really can't buy houses so lets jack up the price of our rentals and look how we'll profit haha *laughs all the way to the bank*
EVEN if it's a fucking room for rent, it's $500 for one sodding ROOM. Insane!

alt: with that much money pay for school, I'd hire a nanny to play with my dog so that I can go to school and she would be nice and tired when I got home, give my parents a heap of it, pay off my bills, go to a club I want to go to and have a taxi ride home.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Americans
with your "petrol is the equivalent of 30p a litre. Insane!" or "Rooms are the equivalent of 300 quid a month. Insane!" rants.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

we don't have quid
my room I currently rent is $300, it's a tiny ass room, and I think it's worth what I pay.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:34, Reply)

That's the equivalent of £200 a month
I'd struggle to rent a garage for that.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I rent a small room in my gaff out for £350
which seems to be about the minimum
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I've got a room, all bills included for £430
Although I'm aware that's a fucking great price for what I've got.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:45, Reply)

My old Studio flat was £900/month

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Yes, but that's London, surely?

(berk, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Oh yeah, really nice area
was built from the front of a massive Edwardian house and had a seperate kitchen etc...the best bit was that it had a kingsize bed that flipped up into the wall a la James Bond!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:49, Reply)

was in London at the weekend
and decided that I fucking love the MI6 building.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:51, Reply)

meh...not my favourite if I'm honest
Apart from the fact that you can shoot super speed boats out onto the Thames from the 15th floor
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)

I find it to be very well executed
and grand. It's not my usual taste, but I do like it a lot

I would happily have it sat on my mantlepiece
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I don't understand what you're trying to get at.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Your rent seems cheap, unless you live in the ghetto

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:55, Reply)

well if we're comparing rent, are we comparing salaries as well?
My rent right now is cheap, but when I move I'll be scraping by every month.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)

To be fair it's a pretty stupid comparison, I'm guessing Jersey Shore is cheaper than london

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I'd fucking well say so.
Just looking at craigslist quickly, they appear to have about the same as we've got, which is ridiculous because there's fucking nothing here.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Move to Detroit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:33, Reply)

I'd rent the room next to mine, so I had a floor to myself
My best friend is expecting a baby with his missus, so I'd put away money for the baby, and help him out for funds, as well as taking him out and getting him drunk from time to time.

I'd give each of my brothers and sisters about 10k, and those with kids would get an extra 5k. (Jesus Christ, that's 80k already) I'd send my parents on holiday, because I know they'd never accept money.

Also, I'd make sure I went to every festival I could.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Every festival? You selfish cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:33, Reply)

There's only about 3 in England I'd want to go to tbh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Capitalism/consumerism/inflation/money stuff does not disgust me,
apart from my own incompetence in that field.

Alt: change the fucking subject please
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:51, Reply)

sorry
what would you like to talk about Monty?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)

60's garage rock

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I'd buy three or four of you
To wade into every argument in which someone called me a bender and call them a MUCH BIGGER BENDER

I would spend my days starting arguments and then relaxing to watch the ensuing carnage with a whisky and a grin
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I refer the honourable gentleman
to the conclusion I drew the other day, viz. that you are a raging muff hound
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Sorry, are you talking to me?
The "honourable gentleman" bit threw me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:04, Reply)

muff chuff
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I'd pay you £10k to change your middle names to "thirty two telecomunications analyist from" and your last name to "Dunstible"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Make it £50k and you've got a deal

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:04, Reply)

You really going to turn down £10k for that? Seeing as you're negotiating, I'm upping it to a contract that you can't change it back before there is a new head of the british monarchy

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Done
The Queen is blatantly going for Victoria's record and will therefore cark it in 2016
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

It would give me about £18kpa if I leave it in the bank, so I'd do that for a year or two until I see a series of good property to buy in a decent market.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 13:59, Reply)

my flat is in kensington
:(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Sell it!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:03, Reply)

and give us all ten grand

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)