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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Name and pitch your dream film.
alt: lunch

//edit//
Things I thought were interesting in the newspaper on the way to work today
• Iceland arn't going to pay back the £3.5b we and the dutch lent them. lol.
• 40k nurses are about to go, 27k police officers. Could be more. But naturally we're still giving out wages higher than the Prime Minister to people in charge of local areas.
• They've made a kidney out of stem cells now, that's pretty neato.
• A farmer gave some orphened foxes a teddy and it made me AWWWW.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:32, 245 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Swedish Lesbians in Blackcurrant Jam.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)
Sounds like a nice lunch.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:10, Reply)
Asparagus and leek Risotto
for both
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)
Ninja Lego Kittens from Mars
Cheapy noodles with chicken bits, peanut butter, soy sauce, chilli sauce and sesame oil
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:37, Reply)
The Mummy returns
but with more nudity.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)
No lunch today, too hungover.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)
The Great Arsenal Aeroplane Crash of 2011
Strawberries, blueberries and raspberries
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:40, Reply)
It could be called "Gunned Down"
or something.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:42, Reply)
Gunned Downs

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:42, Reply)
*Cleeeeeeeeeeek*

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:43, Reply)
Chicken and ham salad
and a couple of slices of wholemeal toast.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Lemon pepper chicken sandwich (wholemeal bread)

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:45, Reply)
Hello Cycling Mo

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:47, Reply)
Hello gorgeous, how are you?
My head's sunburnt. It hurts to touch it, but I cannot stop!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:48, Reply)
Hello Dahling
I'm alright - recovering from yesterday's posh afternoon tea, innit.
I really need to make you that special vagina hat so you can cycle and mo and not get burned.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:50, Reply)
That would be lovely
Although I burned my head while in the park with that girl I told you about. When I went cycling I remembered to put lotion on.
Such a delightful way to spend a sunny Sunday afternoon, having tea and scones!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:52, Reply)
What girl?
Is she a needy obsesive bitch whore? Because if she isn't you've immpressively raised your standards
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:52, Reply)
This is more-or-less the same as the gaz I sent him on Friday.
We are very caring people, Badger.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:53, Reply)
That's because you and I are totally on the same wavelength
The wavelength of totally awesome people. We're probably the only people on it...
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:54, Reply)
Most certainly.
Fine by me!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:55, Reply)
Just a new friend
And the ex was not an obsessive bitch whore.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)
If you say so my lovely

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)
I do, to both

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:58, Reply)
And both you want to do?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:59, Reply)
No.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:01, Reply)
It's harder to twist your words if you don't use any
*frowns*
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:02, Reply)
It was delightful!
I hope you had a nice time with That Girl.
Not long til Easter! Woo!
*remembers dissertation deadline*
Fuck.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:53, Reply)
You've almost finished, haven't you?
And I did, thank you, conversation was pleasant and not forced.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:55, Reply)
Almost

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)
On the home straight now then
Rock that fucker!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)
*rocks*

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:57, Reply)
*admires jiggling*

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:58, Reply)
*carries on*
*and on*
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:58, Reply)
*watches*
*gets popcorn*

Oh god actually I still don't think I can face popcorn again yet
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I'm not surprised.
Even an American would have struggled.
Al would have been fine, though.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:02, Reply)
Al would have eaten mine and Wook's leftovers as well
And probably your bag.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:03, Reply)

bag settee
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:29, Reply)
I don't have a 'settee'.
I'm not common enough.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:37, Reply)
Cheese and quorn ham on rye and a packet of French fries.
Any storyline as long as it stars Jeff Bridges and has lots of nudity.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:49, Reply)
There are two Jack Russells for adoption in Devon.
One is blind and the other dog helps him. I hope someone adopts them : (
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:50, Reply)
NO, GONZ. BACK THE FUCK AWAY.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:51, Reply)
I fucking hate jack russells
I might adopt them and then eat them
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:18, Reply)
I find it interesting you went to work! HURRAH!
I was worried I'd get home and find you melted onto the sofa. I don't think even Clendrix and her love of cleaning could ever help me get that stain out
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:51, Reply)
Haaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!
Bottles: still there.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:52, Reply)
haha
I imagined they would have been inserted somewhere by now! Although I finished my showergel today and left it on the side of the bath. I am a terrible terrible person. And I didn't hover my room at athe week. OH MY GOD I did, however, clean the top blades of the fan in the lounge.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)
Bloody hell - that was brave!
Was it vile?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:57, Reply)
Luckily it had gone past t he point of dust and had become almost fur like
meaning I could remove it it one strip and then just hoover it up. I also removed the dead flies from the inside of the lamp.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:59, Reply)

the inside of the lamp Gonz's head
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:00, Reply)
haha. I don't think the hoover would have been able to cope with that

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:01, Reply)
"Woh', Henry, you look so sad, what's wrong with you? how the hell did you even change expression?.... ohhhhhhh.".

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:08, Reply)
Also FUCK YEAH
www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-13033437
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:57, Reply)
fucking hell
you are computer phil aicmfp
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:59, Reply)
What's computer phil?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:01, Reply)
you should have said HEL YEAH!

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:22, Reply)
omg omg my friend laura is in labor omg omg
soz, just mega excited over here
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:11, Reply)
I hope she is at least engaged
if not married
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:12, Reply)
nah, her boyfriend ditched her and said he didn't want anything to do with her or the baby

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:14, Reply)
SHOTGUN WEDDING!
I love tradition.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:14, Reply)
no, no
not hitched
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:16, Reply)
People will do anything for a free house.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:16, Reply)
what?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:17, Reply)
It's a popular tactic with the British underclass.
Get knocked up, get a house/flat paid for with benefits.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:20, Reply)
heeeyyyyyyyy
that's a good idea
*ponders*
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:31, Reply)
when I was on the list for a council flat, back in 'the day'
I was told I would jump to the front of the queue if I got myself knocked up. TRUFAX.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:19, Reply)
He's a camp telecommunications analyst with a point to prove
she's a melon-breasted housewife with a heart of gold.
Together, they fight crime.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:14, Reply)
Your description is most unkind and highly offensive
B3th has a job!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:17, Reply)
Yes, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:18, Reply)
well, screw you, then!
Screw you and the horse you came in on.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:19, Reply)
eBay trader
Which is of course a cover for her true profession of Evil Genius
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:19, Reply)
Detective story - "Swallow"
Based in Norwich. Nobody had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. This will put Norwich on the map!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:16, Reply)
Might as well do it now before the rising oceans sort all that shit out.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:18, Reply)
I was quoting Partridge
But the rising oceans are a concern. Not least for me, as I'm not a local I'm not equipped with the same webbed fingers and toes so will have to take my Gold Swimming proficiency certificate after all
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Have you got tiny little trunks?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:22, Reply)
I have but the elastic in them has perished
It's not a cry for help
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:24, Reply)
He's got something tiny to put IN his trunks
I would guess...
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:25, Reply)
I am not going to dignify this slanderous allegation with a response
Apart from this one, obviously
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:28, Reply)
It's only slanderous if you can prove it's not true
Will it stand up in court?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)
Only if the judge bares his arse

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:34, Reply)
I like this
So I clicked 'I like this'
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)
...as that is the correct thing to do

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)
7/10
First time I've scored you in a while mate. You feeling alright?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)
I need MOAR COFFEE

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)
Very good, LOIN. Like it :-)
And, to answer your question, depends on how warm the courtroom and how low-cut your top is
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:34, Reply)
And anyway, it's libellous
unless you've also stood in the park and announced it to everyone.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:36, Reply)
It doesn't need announcing
Go to his local park, and he'll probably be there showing it to everyone.

Everyone in the gents' toilets, anyway.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)
I thought slander was written and libel announced?
I will concede that is this is useFUL information it falls outside of stuff I know
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)
as always, kid, you are wrong
Libel is written, slander is spoken.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)
Noted
Appreciate the "kid" reference
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:41, Reply)
It doesn't have a title, as yet
but it involves several scenes of me with David Tennant, in compromising situations.

Alt: haven't decided yet, but it probably won't involve anything fattening... *sadfaces*
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:21, Reply)
What sort of compromising situations? Like being cault on the bus without swipping your oyster card?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:33, Reply)
"Huddled at the back of the 207 B3th and David fall against each other as the hateful
bendy bus rounds a tight corner
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:36, Reply)
situations that involve
his willy.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:36, Reply)
Oh, I didn't realise you played around, if only I would have known I wouldn't have made the joke about rich tea crumbs and yop stains.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)
I've always wanted to do a Full Metal Jacket/Band of Brothers type film where the opposition are big fuck-off alien robots with lasers in their faces.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:23, Reply)
Full Metal Jacket
Starring Barry From EastEnders.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:23, Reply)
100% Cotton Jacket.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Metal Jacket/ type film where the opposition are big fuck-off alien robots with lasers in their faces
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:28, Reply)
they tried that sort of approach with Battle: Los Angeles
it was shit. I have no doubt that you could make a better film
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:28, Reply)
From what i hear, it needed a story

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)
it also needed some people who could act
someone who could direct and a few people who could operate cameras.

it may as well not have been aliens as well.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)
I'm gonna watch it anyway at some point.
I watched Tron Legacy at the weekend and fucking loved it, although I'm a massive fan of the original and got loads of references to the old one. It's a cracker.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Tron Legacy is probably only any good if you know the original well
fortunately I did
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)
There were quite a few places where I went "WHOA!"
and I clocked Tron quite early on. No real surprises in the story but the last half an hour was exceptionally entertaining. Good stuff.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:49, Reply)
Ninja Acadamy 6: The gurning
"He may have Down's, but he'll still kick your ass!"

A;t: lunch is for wimps
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)
You forgot your lunch box didn't you?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)
The bigger boys took his lunch money off him.
*Gripper Stebson lols*
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:33, Reply)
The guys in finance department are always bullying the tec guys.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)
Us techys would kick the shit out of finance
pussies
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)
I've got all the lunchbox you need luv

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)
All I know for certain is you're not shooting blanks.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:36, Reply)
*is confused*
who carries a loaded gun in their lunchbox?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:37, Reply)
Marilyn Manson

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)
What a prick that "man" is

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)
That is a brilliant response
and it saddens me that no-one else is likely to get it
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)
You and Labs are in a alternative gang of two.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Best of all the alternative gangs

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:43, Reply)
You could have a series of adventures where you solve crimes
"The Fag Four"
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Can I point out one small but insurmountable flaw
in the gag you've obviously been waiting weeks to use?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:47, Reply)
See below for the addtional 2 members
Also, I thought of it just now, that and the Nonce Nine
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:49, Reply)
I particularly like this one
You want to be careful who you say it around though, those Ringwraiths are a short-tempered bunch
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:55, Reply)
I'm sure Kitty would get it too
Maybe Wooks and AA as well.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:42, Reply)
I should have thought of AA but he'd only have been 6 when that was released
*is suddenly depressed*

Don't know enough about the others' music taste, although Wooks demonstrated an admirable knowledge of the GLC recently
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:44, Reply)
As in 'You knows it', or the Greater London Council?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Safe as fuck

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:46, Reply)
I was a proper clart in the olden days!

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)
I wasn't
considering I've never even been sure what a clart is!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:50, Reply)
Spaaaaa

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Or that
Educate me, oh wise Roota
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:54, Reply)
Go on their website.
There used to be a dictionary.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:59, Reply)
I'm so checking that out
Thanks for the tip
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:04, Reply)
Clart is mud up here
As in "You are covered in clarts"
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:52, Reply)
Clarty is scruffy in some places.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:58, Reply)
It is used for that too up here

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:00, Reply)
ahem

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)
Manson struck me as a band you might dismiss as "crap"
owing to some of the musicianship being less than proficient
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:51, Reply)
he's done some great stuff
Portrait of an American Family is a stonking album to start with, and there are some great tracks on most of the others too.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:52, Reply)
I completely agree
I was a huge fan up until the Holy Wood album, which is by no means bad in itself
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:54, Reply)
I think that's when I stopped listening
is that the one after Mechanical Animals?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:55, Reply)
I think so
God, I should know this. Holy Wood was only OK. Golden Age of Grotesque, which followed, was better but it went downhill quickly after that
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:57, Reply)
I liked the Holywood album lots
Never thought I would like MM until I actually stopped taking the piss out of everything my sister liked and grew up and checked some of it out.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:56, Reply)
all the image stuff aside
a lot of the music is pretty good.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:58, Reply)
Most of the lyrics, especially the later stuff, are lazy and terrible

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:01, Reply)
heh that is true
a lot of bands have fucking dreadful lyrics
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:02, Reply)
*cough*Symposium*cough*

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:04, Reply)
I said much the same about Slipknot
I maintain that their self-titled album would have been just as fucking good if it had been made by four blokes called Jerry from Weymouth
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:01, Reply)
Slipknot?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG_gv7YzIzY
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)
How do you know this?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:37, Reply)
His wife is expecting, unless I've got him mixed up with someone else.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)
So "someone" isn't firing blanks

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)
Oi!

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)
Has she confirmed that it's his?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)
I just hate to think the worst so I assume it's his.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)
... and oi!

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)
This is true
If it turns out to be a boy, it'll have the same name as someone here...
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)
ahh bless
sportscow will love his first day at school
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)
Gonz?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)
I'm flattered mate
Of all the people on telly to name your child after...
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:41, Reply)
I wouldn't be as cruel as that

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:41, Reply)
It is a bit of a shit name, I must admit
Which makes it all the more galling that everyone on B3ta knows it, not just the ones I'm FB friends with
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:46, Reply)
pfft

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:42, Reply)
Is your surname Norwich
And will the middle name of your unborn be

'32, Telecommunications Analyst from'
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Is it me,
if so every supply teacher he ever has will pronounce it wrong.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:44, Reply)

R for rapist
A for anal
P for paedo
E for Monty
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:46, Reply)
Actually
I have a mate who shares your unusually spelled first name
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:57, Reply)
He's probably awesome.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:58, Reply)
He is a bit "special"

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:59, Reply)
I might be friends with him, I added all people who shared my first name once while drunk.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:01, Reply)
Surname is Mears

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Nope, was he in Dr Who though?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:03, Reply)
I have no idea!

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:04, Reply)
Call yourself his friend.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)
I have no idea how to pronounce you name

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)
Brewery without the B
sort of.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)
oh...I had it down as having a stronger middle section

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Yeah, I imagined more emphasis on the "ar" in the middle
But then I live amongst farmers, innit
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:23, Reply)
It it due at Christmas?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:50, Reply)
I think the 4th December would be best

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:52, Reply)
An auspicious date.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:53, Reply)
For the best people

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:53, Reply)
ha ha ha
better rubber up
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:37, Reply)
Nice idea Gordon

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:34, Reply)
I'm not a gopher...

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)
Am torn between calling you a thick cunt for not getting the reference
and laughing at your much funnier one
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)
I really had no idea what you were on about

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:43, Reply)
You did well to salvage it then frankly
Gordon Gekko, Michael Douglas' character in Wall Street. He coined the phrase "lunch is for wimps" in said film.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Oh yeah, i know that i saw it the otehr day...i was thinking about the ninja mongs

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:47, Reply)
As always

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)
or b3tans as they are called

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)
It just took me way too long to upload some photos. I suck.
Alt: I'm still full from the massive amounts of toast I had. I might make pizza later.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)
We have just received a delivery of
Scotch Eggs
Pork Pies
Greek mixed food
Falafels
Pakora

This is good
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:08, Reply)
Mmm falafel
I had the best ones I've ever had in my life about a week ago. Fluffy inside, and crispy outside, covered in sesame seeds. Delicious.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)
These are cheapy ones
but free to me!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:21, Reply)
Almost all fims are fucking appalling.
No matter what excellent ideas I'd like to see in film, if they were to be actually made chances are they'd be bollocks.

Keith Moon’s life would make an outstanding film, were this not the case. It contains tragedy and comedy as well as visual spectacle in fucking spades, not to mention a cracking soundtrack – but that wouldn’t prevent the wankers in the film industry from bollocksing it right up. Shame.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:08, Reply)
If you made the film
Would you include a scene where Keith voms on some shoes?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Moon never vommed. That was his problem.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:25, Reply)
HA!
I got that.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)
This is a new level of misery for you
You are proclaiming something to be "fucking shit" before it even exists.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)
The worst part is, he's probably right
A film made about Keith Moon's life would either end up being some horrific Guy Ritchie catchphrase-fest or, if done well and accurately, see release in about 3 cinemas.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)
It could star Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Click click click
This has to be in your top three all-time puns
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:22, Reply)
It wasn't that good.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Well no-one else got it
So it must have been sophisticated and clever
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:23, Reply)
No, it was shite.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:25, Reply)
^ This.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)
Yeah this.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:27, Reply)
^This
(without even reading the thread)
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)
Alright, gorgeous?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Hello, my favourite Mental.
I'm alright - how are you?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:30, Reply)
Mental as ever, thanks.
Perhaps even a little more so. Who knows? Not me, for, you see, I am mental.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)
Ignorance is bliss, Monters. Keep up the good work.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)
*flaps arms, flid-style*

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)
I didn't get it.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)
They were in 'Moonlighting'
which contains the word Moon. That's how clever the pun is.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)
*facedesk*
+sheer lunacy
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)
Young sir it is April. Beer?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)
Yes, next week.
Tuesday-Friday, pick a day.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Not Tuesday as I may be seeing my daughter,
and Friday nights Lusters works, so what about Weds?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:46, Reply)
It's in the diary.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Awriigghttt!

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Now THAT'S clever
(assuming the 'lunacy' ref was a play on the 'luna' part of 'lunacy' ie the moon)
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:38, Reply)
It was!
Benefits of a classical education.

/5 points for film quote?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Die Hard?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Wahey
Best thing about that film was Alan Rickman.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:46, Reply)
This is generally true about films featuring Alan Rickman.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Fists with your toes.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:45, Reply)
When you stuff the prossies into the crawlspace
under your house, do you tell them "now you know how a TV dinner feels?"
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:47, Reply)
The only woman I stuff is your mum.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:49, Reply)
That Darth is an exceptionally clever chap

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)
He sho' nuff is massa.
*does cake walk*
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:38, Reply)
Is that before or after he got his head caved in by a big metal spring?

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:41, Reply)
I don't get this, I'm afraid.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:49, Reply)
I wasn't expecting you to.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:50, Reply)
OK, good. Thanks.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Apparently Townshend and Daltrey have rejected numerous approaches to do a Moon biopic.
They've all be terrible sensationalist shite, apparently. The problem with Moon's cartoonish existence is that much of the reality of it would look like sensationalist shite when it wasn't.

I understand Mike Myers has been desperate to make a Moon film for years and really wanted to play the title role - obviously now he;s about 15 years older than Moon was when he died so that ain't happening. I am also told MM has horrendous BO and halitosis and is really fucking odd in real life.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)
I can believe all of those things about Mike Myers

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)
Go on, then

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)
I am

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:46, Reply)
When he's making a film
the casting people always try to ensure he's not there when they do their stuff because he's liable to put actors off being in his films, so weird is he.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)
He's a cunt, period.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)
You're a 'cunt period' yourself.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:36, Reply)
In can't believe out of the things that you dislike in this world
Mike Myers esacped your wrath...
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:41, Reply)
I don't mind him one bit.
I think the Wayne's World films are enjoyable nonsense, and the Austin Powers films, for all their faults, are a loving homage to a genre of film I greatly enjoy myself.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:44, Reply)
his "poetry" in So I married an axe murderer is great

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:46, Reply)
wooooahhhh man!

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:49, Reply)
someone should start a new thread yeah??

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:46, Reply)
This blockbuster:
www.b3ta.com/questions/films/post201924

Alt: halloumi bread and red pepper hummous.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:51, Reply)

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