It seems that yesterday
and the day before, in Spain there were more births/day than have been in the last 10 years. It's not just a coincidence that it's 9 months since we won the world cup.

Anny funny coincidence that you can tell us?

Alt.: Just for Chompy, when was the last time you had sex?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:15, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Consensual?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Solo sex?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Pretending it's some else's hand?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:17, Reply)

With a girl?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:17, Reply)

What are they?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:18, Reply)

They're like boys but rubbish at BMXing.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:26, Reply)

I don't fancy that then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Alt: Ages ago
Thanks for bringing that up you spanish bitch.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:17, Reply)

You're just saying that
so that we think you're a proper geek.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:18, Reply)

No I'm just saying that because you really are a spanish bitch :p

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I'm not
I'm a lady. I don't walk in four legs and I don't bark. And I don't eat dog's food either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)

On a similar topic, a baby born in 1998 in France was named "Trois-zero"
Because French people are fucking idiots
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:18, Reply)

I had to make a card for a girl in year 7 called Tequila (for work, before you say anything)
Take a guess which song was released about 11-12 years ago...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Tequila?
She was called Tequila? I'd kill my parents on the spot.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:22, Reply)

But then you'd end up in the Slammer, and all you'd be able to do was watch the Sunrise, until you grew weary of it all, and committed Suicide.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Fuck off Jeff

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:25, Reply)

In the same vein, I was born 9 days short of the 9 month anniversairy of my Dad's birthday
I didn't find out I was early until I was about 15. Ugh ugh ugh.

Alt: Few weeks back
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:18, Reply)

I was born
just 9 months after my parents marry. They were clearly on a rush.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Your dad's a good shot that's all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:22, Reply)

You don't know well
They were following this natural method to avoid pregnancy, with temperature and that, and it faild. With my sister, my mum was on the pill, and it failed. With my brother, my mum had a IUD on her, and it failed too. After that, she just cut the tubes.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:26, Reply)

A rutting beast of a man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Yeah, my mum wasn't happy
when I was born they had no job, house or any money at all. Those were hard days.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Fnarr

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Silly
:/
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:38, Reply)

OH MY GOD your parents totally HAD SEX!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Holy shit!
It's made mildly more entertaining when you realise several signs point towards me being an unexpected/wanted child.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:21, Reply)

NO WAI !!11!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:23, Reply)

expected/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:24, Reply)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:24, Reply)

You were expected, then when they met you you became unwanted

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Nope, I was always unexpected.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:31, Reply)

You were born
and your mum wasn't expecting you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:42, Reply)

No, I mean my parents aren't the aborting type
If they were, I doubt I'd be here.

I was a completely unexpected pregnancy
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Ok
Like me, then. My parents would have never abort, but I know my mum wasn't happy with how things went during the first 4 years of marriage.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Hahaha!
I said that to Mark when I want to upset him. He hates talking about that and still says he was found under a blueberry bush.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:23, Reply)

My parents talk about sex all the bastard time
and there was that one time I walked in on them...

So, yeah, I really can't pretend they never do it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Oh, sorry
you must have scars in your soul.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Birthday sex FTW

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I'm a Christmas/New Year baby :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Why is that sad?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Fewer presents.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Oh, don't get me started on that shit!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Is your birthday near Christmas then?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:27, Reply)

eleven days before
DJ's birthday is around this time of year, and no-one ever gave him an Easter Egg with the words 'that's for your birthday too'. So why is it fair that I got combined birthday/xmas presents? It's not like they didn't know my birthday was coming. It's the same fucking day every year! Plan better, you miserable gits!

Well, I feel better for getting thta off my chest.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Anything else you'd like to get off your chest?
I could do with a new hammock
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHA

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

well get Al to send a pair of his speedos then

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

You're an intelligent woman
Can you see why one might be preferable to the other?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:36, Reply)

this is obvious
the bra means you won't spend your time with an aching persisting erection
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Amberl drifts towards a conversation about huge breasts as if caught in the Death Star's tractor beam
also; correct
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I expect a score for my gibe please

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:45, Reply)

The jibe itself; 7/10
Your spelling of jibe; 5/10
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:46, Reply)

It should be
7.5/10; she had 3 letters right out of 4.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Yeah but those three are EASY

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:52, Reply)

If it helps, I know brothers who have birthdays on the 24th & 25th of December

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Do you at least get
better presents that anyone else, as they're for 2 things?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

no.
not usually. Or I'd get money, but only what they would give for one thing rather than both, if you know what I mean.

I'm really not as greedy as I'm making myself sound, I promise.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Well, I'd be upset if I was you
We have a few in our family that are very close to Christmas, they get one present for 2, but it's a far better present.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:38, Reply)

My brother's is 3rd January
The day we usually went back to school, as well as getting combined presents. Poor sod.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)

one of my brothers in law is that day.
The other is 23 December, and mr b3th's is 6 January.

I'm not sure when his dad's birthday was, but his mum's was at the beginning of April. There may well have been some kind of repeated 'gift' going on there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)

my brother is the 26th
so my mother gives him a second small birthday in June, because he gets so upset about it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)

My birthday is in July and my brother's is in December
He did end up with fewer presents, but usually bigger. I'd say it was a wash.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Are you Jesus?
Or Blitzen?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Oh no, I was conceived at Christmas/New Year's
I WAS A FUCKING PRESENT ARRRRGH
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:30, Reply)

From your daddy to your mummy.
With a big sweaty grunt I should imagine.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I bet he said "Yeah, fucking enjoy THAT" as he spurted up her chuff
then he rolled over, wiped his cock on the curtains and fell asleep while her mum used tissues as a poor substitute for the morning after pill.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)

tissues the turkey baster
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)

This why I don't have christmas dinner round at Lampito's house.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:37, Reply)

You wouldn't like it, my family are vegetarian :P

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Okay 1) your mum is still partial to a bit of meat
and 2) why bother taking them to Tayyabs then?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:40, Reply)

You do realise my "parents" and my parents are 2 different sets of people?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Oh me too
I hadn't thought of it like that before

:-(
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Did Santa empty his sack then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I don't see why that's bad
what's a better present than a lovely baby.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Scalextric

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Well yeah
Or a big Lego. I love Lego. And Playmobil.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:41, Reply)

A wire hanger two weeks later

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Ouch
That's disgusting, even for you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:41, Reply)

A lovely baby, yes.
A baby that didn't want to be born and spent the first week of her life sulking and sleeping, not so much.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)

week twenty years
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:41, Reply)

The next 18 years of your life to do with as you please

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:45, Reply)

I don't see why that can't happen
specially if what you please to do is to have children. In any case, they're a lot less demanding than pet, and it seems no one has a problem with having a dog or cat at home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:47, Reply)

We have pet rats
Because they live in a cage so only come out when we have time to play with them. Also because they only live 2-3 years and Ms Foxtrot regards anything longer than that as "too much like commitment"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:50, Reply)

How long have you been together?
You see? Can you go on holidays for several days without having to annoy someone to go and feed your rats while you're not there?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:53, Reply)

9 years, 2 months and 4 days
Luckily her Dad is a vet and the whole family are animal lovers so arranging care for them is no problem!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:55, Reply)

That's more than 3 years
I suppose you're a winner there.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I was a winner after one day
But thank you :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)

You're so soapy sometimes
:)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 12:59, Reply)

I am with you
cos you're just as bad as me!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Guilty, I am
What can we do?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:02, Reply)

I keep giving you ideas
but you tell me they're "wrong"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Oh, no
I meant about being soapy! You use any excuse to tempt me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Yes I will
We shouldn't do anything about being soppy. It's probably the main thing keeping us from engaging in illicit sexual congress
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:07, Reply)

You're probably right
when it's so sweet you get to the point when you can't imagine sex with that person, as it'd be wrong. Not that I'm there yet, but I think we're doing ok.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Me either
but we can THINK whatever we like!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Well
In catholithism (sp) it's a sin to have impure thoughts. You can sin with tought, word, act or omission. Those are the 4 ways of having it wrong.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:15, Reply)

We're both fucked then aren't we
Might as well act "act" to the list..
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I know
Nothing we can do to save ourselves. Unless you really regret what you've done wrong.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I don't, but I'm not Catholic anyway
And if it does turn out that the Catholics were right all along, I am absolutely buggered regardless of what I do and don't do with you!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Yes
That's another way of thinking about it. Oh, well... if we're going to do it wrong, let's do it wrong properly, eh?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)

This is something I really don't want to think about over lunch.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 13:19, Reply)