There's a telemarketer bothering our office
He's going through the numbers in sequential order but there are 60 phones in one open-plan office and we know who he's going to phone next. The 5th call was the office support manager who reported them to BT and the police as we're a government office and can't be cold-called. They refused to give their company name when asked and now he just hangs up after we introduce ourselves.

Have you ever grimly kept on to the bitter end of something despite it being utterly pointless and/or illegal?

EDIT: Apart from my mum, obviously.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:47, 83 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

apart from your mum?
.... no.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I argued with someone on the internet.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:52, Reply)

No you didn't.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:54, Reply)

deux point.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Oh, man
that's more pointless than anything. Well done there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:54, Reply)

That doesn't sound at all like me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:56, Reply)

There's no reason that it should

(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Grimly keeping on to the bitter end of something despite it being utterly pointless and illegal
is something I do with alarming regularity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:55, Reply)

....much like LiC's mum, amiright?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Sho' nuff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I love toying with telemarketers.
If they're polite and go when told no thanks then fair enough, but if they persist and try and outwit me.............they're doooomed.
( girlinthehole, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Apparently he's from BT and this phone number has won £50,000
loses its impact slightly when you know everybody elses number has too.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:00, Reply)

My all-time favourite was a little Indian chappie who rang up about call packages or some shit
and opened with the unbeatable 'Hello, my name is Steve Davis' in a 'Goodness gracious me' voice, I fucking pissed myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I always ask the Indian cold callers to call me Sanjay.
On the basis that if they are allowed to lie about their names, then it's only right that I get to choose a new one as well.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)

They always hang up straight away when I ask what their company is, it really pisses me off.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Ask them what they're wearing. They love that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:04, Reply)

What are you wearing?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Jeggings and a scowl most likely.

( wanderlust, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I love you!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Love you too snookums

( wanderlust, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Back off, I can't compete with you on this one. Monty, fine, I can compete with him.... you though, I've got no chance.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Surprisingly heart-warming statement that, cheers!
I'm a gent, I recognise you've called dibs already.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Good man, I'd hate for you to make a grown man cry.
=)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Nice to know I have a choice in all of this.
Monty did say to me this morning though that he'd sell me to Gonz for a packet of Lucky Charms and a bottle of Yop.

:(
( wanderlust, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:22, Reply)

They sale Lucky Charms in the sweet shop across the road from me, oddly though, I can't find anywhere local anymore to buy Yop.
SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Always the bridesmaid

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Get a pallet delivered
actually don't you might OD
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Of course you have a choice
I was just being polite to Gonz is all.
I'm gonna be seeing you soon... *winks*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I'll be honest, I don't mind sharing with you, aslong as you only put it half in so I'm at least almost the same.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Oh my dear Christ

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I just done a sick.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I just done a sick and a laugh at the same time.
Now my face hurts.
( wanderlust, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)

NOT AT THE SAME TIME !!!
God, you're sick.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

If you're not going airtight
you might as well just go home.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:40, Reply)

... and a bandana around the wrist?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Sleeveless Bowie t-shirt, tight, cutoff denim shorts and jelly shoes.


Oh, and a 'Cameo' style red codpiece.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Word up!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

The singer in question's name was 'Larry Blackmon'
which my brother and I found utterly hilarious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

curse you, dogbotherer.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

word up.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I walked into B&Q today and noticed that teh two guys in front of me both had bleached blonde quiffs
with the sides of their heads shaved and jeggings.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

That sounds like me.
Minus the jeggings.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)

excellent. B&Q streaking. does that get you 15% off?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I've just done a real life lol, with a side order of rofl.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

It gets you a ride in a nice taxi that has blue flashy lights.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

yay!
I love those

*special claps*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Special claps...
Is that what you get after shagging a disease-ridden mong?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Brilliant.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:18, Reply)

slow claps is what you get after a night with [insert female b3tan you all know I'm thinking of here].

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

TGB?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Look, I'm not going to say Lampito's name in case it ruines any chances I might have with her.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:38, Reply)

bert's sister?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:30, Reply)

yes.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Do you do that by swinging your massively elongated scrotum back and forth?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Like some terrifying hairy newton's cradle.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:42, Reply)

At the turkish sale-everything-ever-only-a-cheap-knock-off-version shop down the road...
... they sale these little "Sausage Holders", which are metal long prongs with grid at the end to put your saussages in, they make me laugh every time.

They also do a shit load of drug-parphinalia, about 30 differnet flavours of hollowed out cigars, grinders, scales, poppers, pipes, bongs...etc.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I don't know what kind of vaginas you've been looking at, Gonz
but there's absolutely no way I'm putting my sausage anywhere near some metal prongs.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:29, Reply)

The kids today, their minds are completely warped by robot porn

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:30, Reply)

times have been tough for Bros since the eighties
EDIT: stupid elbows
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Times sure have been time, it's true.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

And then I accidently with a fleshlight

(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

accidentally in your base?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

They all are belong to us.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I think your headwand maybe malfunctioning.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

They thought it stood for 'Bent and Queer', I expect.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

That would explain Al being there
buying 2x4", pliers and a shower curtain
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I bought a radiator.
And I carried a watermelon.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Simply say yes to everything that they ask, over and over

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

You should see what they have to say for about 10 mins
then hang up. They will love that. Or put them through to another extension, thus making their claims somewhat redundant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I like putting them through to different extensions too.
I pop them on hold, then answer in a different accent. SO FUNNY.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)

I used to enjoy wasting cold callers' time
I once dragged one into an argument about the pros and cons of various smartphones.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

You crazy loon!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I also threatened to track down the offices of one that kept phoning
They never phoned back.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Sweary Jr intercepted a cold caller once.
And launched into a 20 minute 'conversation', never stopped for breath and kept interjecting with random questions like "do you like guitars? I like guitars, I've got three" and "What's your favourite Pokemon"? Until the poor bastard hung up. I don't think he got a word in.

And rang back again, only to be bombarded with the same abject nonsense.

Rinse and repeat, four times. Me and the missus were crumpled up balls of helplessness by the end
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I just wanted to say good luck
We're all counting on you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
You do realise I still piss myself laughing every time I think about this?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I do!
It does make me grin like a mong on the dodgems too!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

mong on the dodgems, click!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I can't claim to be the inventor of that particular gem

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I think I sat in the bike shed for about half an hour after that
with tears dripping off my face and shoulders heaving up and down with uncontrolled mirth.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

tears spunk m g
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Your sister

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)