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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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OK Peasants
Here's The Disappointed - bigger, better, faster, sharper than you kids - with the documents and charisma to back up my claims.

Bow down or rise up - shake your thang!
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:30, 189 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
lets see your papers then homes

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:37, Reply)
Boxes full of credentials, references and testimonials.
Far too many to actually produce but take it from me, they tell an immense story.

Except I can't get to the US this year. You just stay there and pretend to be me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:42, Reply)
Let's be honest, I'm too awesome to pretend to be you.
**may contain lies
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:44, Reply)
Other way round
But if you believe in your awesomeness, take it out, strut it and tip your hat to me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:47, Reply)
i'm so awesome, i don't just have rainbows, i have rainbows ON FIRE

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:49, Reply)
Ooh fuck
On awesome top trumps even I can't beat burning rainbows.

I bet you've got angels sliding down the bastards through fiery hoops too.

You win.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:51, Reply)
At the moment I'm too busy overdosing on Jersey new potatoes.
£1 a bag at Morrisons.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:40, Reply)
do they taste like spray tan?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:42, Reply)
They taste of win.
Buttery and delicious.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:44, Reply)
I bet that's what Vinny tastes like.
*sigh*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:44, Reply)
I've had no potatoes (apart from chips) for as long as I can remember
then in the past week I've had two lots of potato salad and two lots of baby potatoes. This is of no interest to anyone, but I wanted to join in with the cool kids.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:45, Reply)
What are you having with your spudleys, lovely?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:45, Reply)
do you need to have anything with them?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:47, Reply)
I should coco

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:48, Reply)
I had salad and salmon : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:48, Reply)
Did you cook the salmon
With some butter and lemon, and with the skin nicely seasoned?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:49, Reply)
No.
I ate it cold. I bought it already cooked.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:50, Reply)
Sounds a bit dull.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:52, Reply)
It was all about the potatoes Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:54, Reply)
It should be all about the salmon though.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:56, Reply)
I have simple tastes Jeff.
The same reason I like you.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Like a knife to my heart.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:03, Reply)
A butter knife?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:10, Reply)
to his cauliflower heart

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:10, Reply)
and then toss it in the trash because salmon is shit?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:50, Reply)
You are wrong.
Wrong with a capital W.R.O.N.G
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:51, Reply)
do you have your hand on your cock while you ask this?
you seem overly interested in the details. It's like it's food porn.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:51, Reply)
He's always like this.
Menwholiketocooklols.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:52, Reply)
I thought you liked having an Internet husband who could cook.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:57, Reply)
I do.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Nothing wrong in trying to glean new food ideas.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:53, Reply)
yes there is you bender.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Gives me a bad mental image
Of BGB scoffing raw spuds out of a sack and laughing with a half chewed gobful of spud.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:44, Reply)
I haven't done that since my bulimia days.
Oh how we laughed.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:51, Reply)
i'm tired
and demand chocolate and/or cheesecake before I do any thang-shaking
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:42, Reply)
I'm not shakin' my thang for you.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:44, Reply)
You do it. You shake that thang.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:45, Reply)
Will you bully me off the Internet if I don't start shaking my thang?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:46, Reply)
You have a thang
We all have a thang. I demand it to be shaken.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:49, Reply)
*reluctantly shakes.... a bit*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:49, Reply)
Woo!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:51, Reply)
Hoo!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:54, Reply)
no, I'll just be disappointed, and I will know that I can't dance with you when we meet because you don't shake your thang

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:52, Reply)
'When we meet'
Because you are coming to the UK when exactly....
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:54, Reply)
probably later rather than sooner

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:00, Reply)
I'll be too old for thang shaking then.
Consider this both a good thing and a missed opportunity.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:02, Reply)
You're never too old to shake your thang
I'll be doing it in 50 years time. Possibly with aid of silver robots, but I'll be doing it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:13, Reply)
what is the best free antivirus and anti spyware?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:51, Reply)
Avast
But they'll fuck you over after a year.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:53, Reply)
What you need is a Gonz.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:53, Reply)
AVG has had resonable reports in the past.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:53, Reply)
I wasn't issued with a thang
where can i get one? Was there a memo? Are they still available? I need a thang!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:54, Reply)
You've got one.
It's like a muscle you've not used yet.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:57, Reply)
You have a thang. It's in there with your booty and your mojo.
Have a rummage - you'll find it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:57, Reply)
Um I cooked for my dad tonight
sadly the meal was far from gourmet.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:08, Reply)
I'm sure he enjoyed it nevertheless.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:10, Reply)
chicken in pepper sauce
I forgot to buy rice though, so had to dash out. Sadly all the co-op had was potato wedges. Plenty of Guiness made up for it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:12, Reply)
I was expecting you to say beans on toast or something.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:16, Reply)
this does not sound
too disappointing
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:17, Reply)
i'm trying to motivate my saggy arse to hit the gym
failing thus far.....
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:12, Reply)
I've been and felt the effects of five days since my last visit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:17, Reply)
Poo lols

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:18, Reply)
I was talking about sore muscles numpty.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:18, Reply)
heh heh heh
I knew that silly.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:20, Reply)
it does suck when you don't go
i had an hour with the PT yesterday and my stomach and legs are sore today... but does this excuse me not going right now?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Depends if you want to go or not.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:21, Reply)
clearly i don't WANT to go!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:23, Reply)
you would be an awesome gym buddy

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:29, Reply)
i'd be a v bad influence
shall we just stay on the sofa and* eat poppadums or monster munch with pesto topped humous/watch "family guy"/drink wine/screw like bunnies instead

* (depending on the buddy, clearly)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:31, Reply)

can we have an option d, get high and talk shit.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:34, Reply)
par for the course

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:42, Reply)
If your arse is saggy
Get it to the gym.

No bigger turn off to me than saggy arses (except McDonalds complections, fake tans, x-factor conversations, cheap jewellery, bad grammar....OK - carry on.)
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:20, Reply)
to be fair
my arse is not remotely saggy. the bottom half is fine.

it's everything above the waist that needs a complete re-haul.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:21, Reply)
Why not get a costing analysis complete.
Cost of gym/PT v liposuction

It might be cheaper and easier to not bother.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:22, Reply)
Double chins ftw

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:23, Reply)
yes
but my own chances of being cheap and easy double if the chin does not.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:24, Reply)
Gaz BGB for bulimia tips
If it's good enough for Princess Di it's good enough for the rest of us
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:26, Reply)
but i don't want crumbly yellow teeth.
or to die in a tunnel.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Fly away with your bingo wings then

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:29, Reply)
oh fucking hell
i'm going to have to go to the gym if you keep that up.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:29, Reply)
I sacked it off today, all my gym buddies must really be missing me

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:31, Reply)
i am sure the hot girls on reception missed you
the sweaty men were probably just glad of less competition
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:32, Reply)
They're trained to be sickly sweet to the members, I know it's early days but I'm quite sure they're not after a trip back to Rory Towers
They just don't know what they're missing out on
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:34, Reply)
the ones at my gym are always a bit orange anyway
so what are they missing out on?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:37, Reply)
I sometimes don't need a penis pump to get it to twelve inches

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:38, Reply)
"it" being your fleshlight??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:42, Reply)
No, and well you know it

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:46, Reply)
sorry, wrong terminology
"sybian", did you call it?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:48, Reply)
My bulimia consisted of eating but forgetting to throw up.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:31, Reply)
There'll be an iphone app for that these days, take heart

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:37, Reply)
Isn't technology great.
*bokes*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:39, Reply)
fucking hell
my friend suckered me into buying an app that sends little pictures of stuff - kind of like smileys but more like little bottles of champagne, guns, bombs etc.

after sending many such "amusing" pics over the drunken weekend, i finally thought to check with orange. yup. they count as pic messages. not nice and free. no. £0.35p each... fucksocks.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:39, Reply)
I've managed to download all of one app - the free light one
It pays to be a tight bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)
I need to find out the best apps for a single women about town.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:43, Reply)
You need this free app Blousie.
www.appworldtoday.com/?p=57
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:46, Reply)
You've seen the size of me Jeff.
I don't think this is a worry.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Well the thought was there.
(Not, 'I hope Blousie gets raped', more a 'I hope Blousie is nice and safe, even if it is a case that her activating the alarm means DG is going to have to make like Superman to get to you on time')
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:51, Reply)
grindr
oops wrong one
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:55, Reply)
oh christ
you just reminded me, my friend and i had so much fun playing with our colleague's grindr on thu night.

he did NOT get laid as a consequence of our meddling.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:59, Reply)
haha
a friend of mine introduced his new boyfriend, and another mutual friend went white. He'd got a grindr picture that morning of the new boyfriend flashing his cock.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:01, Reply)
yeah the potential for lethalness is strong in that one
i'd go mad if my other half had it.

the straight version i mean.

although that would mean having another half to go mad at in the first place.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:05, Reply)
i have monumentally shit apps
my cousin downloaded most of them when i wasn't looking properly. this is why i have cats and dogs licking my screen and all sorts of paedo shit. shezam is quite handy though.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Hmm. Gym Instructor TD says...
Lots of walking - good, well done.

Not enough upper body exercise. Sit ups are required here, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:25, Reply)
i think it's mostly genetic tbh
your body will be thin where it wants and less thin where it wants, and there is only so much exercise can do to re-sculpt the bastard!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:30, Reply)
Until a few weeks ago I'd have said you were talking shite.
But yes - genetics make a big difference. How I found that out is another story.

Doesn't mean that some exercise won't sort out whatever you perceive is wrong, because sure as shit you'll not make any gains out of diets.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Have you been stalking both Swipe and her family?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:38, Reply)
I don't think you can cop for genetic problems by stalking, Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:46, Reply)
I meant how you'd found about about Swipes genetics!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Well yes, I burgled the Doctor's surgery
Blimey - Mrs O'Donaghey has been a bit of a tinker, eh?.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:54, Reply)
genetics are responsible for about 75% of your appearance i reckon

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:38, Reply)
Do you have clinical depression?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:20, Reply)
why am I so tired?
I've had to get chocolate and pop just to keep myself awake
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:32, Reply)
Just a quick guess but judging from your diet you've developed diabetes
Watch out for your fingers and toes going first
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:36, Reply)
You're a bundle of joy aren't you.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:40, Reply)
I don't always eat these things
just today. Plus, *counts* I still have all fingers and toes
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Double check.
You're in Wales, so you need to have 6 fingers on each hand.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:44, Reply)
yeah, but I'm not welsh!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:45, Reply)
Doesn't matter.
They put something in the water, you should have grown the extra digits over the last 6 months.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:46, Reply)
You should really get it checked out, tiredness can be caused by the onset of diabetes
Particularly with advancing age, being overweight and gorging on sweet foods. Diabetes causes a whole host of problems, one of which is poor circulation, which is why amputations of toes, fingers limbs is quite common.
This public service announcement has been brought to you by the letters R and L.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:44, Reply)
optician is a good place to start
they often diagnose diabetes, what with the effect it has on the eyes and shit.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:45, Reply)
Yer that too
People just go lol diabetes I can't eat as many sweets. It really fucks you up, takes decades and limbs, and sight off your life, oh and rofl leads to mental health problems and dementing illness
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:49, Reply)
it's a nasty thing
and it slowly gets worse too. my grandad had it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:53, Reply)
My uncle only had his leg off
Then he got sepsis and died.

He is now dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Terminally?

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:57, Reply)
He is like totally dead

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:58, Reply)
Beyond hope of recovery then.
That's serious
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:59, Reply)
urrrrgh
that is v sad. and also scarring for family members.

as i've said on here before, i've never smoked because my grandma got gangrene from it...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:58, Reply)
How many Focus points did that cost?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I was very tired a while ago. Turns out I was just sad.
She might just be sad.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:47, Reply)
I'm a larper, an internet weirdo
and I have a online dating profile. Sad is how most people describe me
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:49, Reply)
i slept twice as long last night as i usually would
and i'm still a bit sleepy today. it's just the first day back at work after a 4 day weekend, innit!

that's it. i am going to do some sit-ups and punch my boxing tube and hit the gym tomorrow.

decision made.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Well have fun.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:52, Reply)
this means i am stuck here until i've eaten dinner
(giant low-fat pretzels and low-fat houmous)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:53, Reply)
You're still at work!
Wowzers.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:54, Reply)
for once escaped that hellhole!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:55, Reply)
so where are you 'stuck' then?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)
on b3ta i meant!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:57, Reply)
Other web pages are available.
Try putting some keywords of things you're interested in, into the webpage 'www.google.com'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:59, Reply)
i don't want to get arrested thanks

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:18, Reply)
how many sit ups?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:53, Reply)
prob a mini circuit
10 sit-ups, 10 planks, 10 burpees, 10 mins punching etc etc.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:54, Reply)
10 !?!
TEN !?!?
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:55, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)
I did 5000m on the rowing machine the other day
23 minutes of pure boredom
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:00, Reply)
i don't mind the rowing machine
but it hurts one of my knees, which puts me off it.

why don't you get one of the hot orange receptionists to stand at the other end and entice you to row towards her?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:02, Reply)
If carrots were receptionists

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:07, Reply)
not thin enough
or orange enough
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:17, Reply)
It's difficult to find pictures of fat orange donkeys.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)
i'll text you one

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:30, Reply)
Go on then.
*expects nothing*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:31, Reply)
I like the rowing machine.
I pretend I'm rowing down the thames with the sun shining.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:04, Reply)
Wouldn't it be more exciting if you were one of the galley rowers in Ben Hur?
Drowning shackled to your seat
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:16, Reply)
Erm..............................................nope.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:21, Reply)
then repeat it, in circular manner of a circuit....
.... what's wrong with that?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)
It's gay
and I'm totally shit at the gym
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:59, Reply)
i know you forget this, like, ALL THE TIME
but....I'M A BIRD!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:00, Reply)
You need punishment and pain, and to piss sweat and stuff
But for fucks sake put some deodorant on beforehand
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:04, Reply)
12 inches...
punishment... pain... sweat... and pissing...

i'm getting a MUCH better idea of what those receptionists are missing back at rory towers, i must say!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:07, Reply)
Don't flirt with Rory.
He only has eyes for Whigfield.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:08, Reply)
i can't flirt, bgb
i suck. at flirting, i mean.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)
We are great at flirting rswipe.
It's the stuff that follows that we suck at.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:12, Reply)
what's a burpee?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:55, Reply)
a dreadful exercise
where you get on all fours, butt attractively right up in the air, and jump so that your feet are right under your chin and then out and in and out and in and out and in and out...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:57, Reply)
Something you have after a coughee

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:57, Reply)
Everyone on here is sad, that's a known
/Dr. House
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:54, Reply)
Are you sad Rory?
If so, why?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)
he's just trying to harsh our buzz, man

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:57, Reply)
How does one go about this so called "harshing a buzz"?
I'd not care to do such a thing, being a gentleman fop and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:04, Reply)
he's just bring us all down
maaaaan
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:07, Reply)
I weep at what gets posted on b3ta

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:05, Reply)
It's lovely that you care.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:08, Reply)
I'm a benign despot

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)
If that's all you've got to weep about...
I'm an ocassional visitor but I sense a fellow worshipper of the altar at the God of Irony.

Or possibly you're a twat.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)
You've missed out on our briefly inglorious period of political activism
Man, the board as a whole smashed the system
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:13, Reply)
"hole" more like

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:15, Reply)
My politics are mine
But I agree that this is a perfect platform from which to depose the system.

Down with the system. So there.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Thanks Rory
now I'm wondering if I have it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:58, Reply)
He's just trying to spread
Hypercondria
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:02, Reply)
Look I've got all my internet Doctoring certificates to hand
In your case I'm diagnosing onset Multiple Sclerosis
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:02, Reply)
what about me?
do me, do me, do me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:03, Reply)
lupus

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:05, Reply)
*howls*

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:06, Reply)
hahaha!
You have to give him the symptoms first.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Multi-infarct dementia

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:07, Reply)
Haha!
I think you have me mixed up with my mother.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)
i think he has worked those out for himself!
hang on a minute..... i have dementia??

oh man you're in sooo much trouble. i think. what were we talking about?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:08, Reply)
oh boo i missed the whole thread when i was off doing work

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Start a new one then!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)
you didn't miss much

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)

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