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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck this shit!
Fuck this shit right up. I'm off for a few days and I want some fucking silliness.

GIVE ME SOME WACKY!!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:31, 144 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
*Offers Blousie some weed.*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)
*pisses pants*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)
Voms on slippers

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)
*puts it in a brownie cake mix*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)
Racist.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)
I am sadly missing the vital ingredient to make that for you this year
but I am happy to deal with any other cake-based requests.
(berk, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)
I was hoping to pick some up if I can.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)
I *may* be able to
but it's unlikely to be in time to make cake with it. The eighth I finished at the weekend has lasted me a rather ridiculous 10 months, and the guy I bought that off appears to have changed his number in that time...
(berk, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)
That is because he has to change his mobile number every 6 weeks incase the feds get hold of it and find out the telephone number for his supplier in morroco who happens to be an al quieda operative.
Bloody illigal drug resellers, why can't they be reputable with their buisness practices like the banks or oil companies ?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:30, Reply)
Is it baking powder? You can get baking powder at most supermarkets these days, or you can get it online from all good reputable stockests.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)
I don't think my brownie recipe asks for baking powder actually...

(berk, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)
I once put water on the inside of my friends waterproof trousers
so he thought they were leaking and threw them away!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)
Hahah! that is the kind of thing you would do.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)
you totally pissed yourself
and then came up with this as a cover-story
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)
I really honestly truly cannot be fucked today.
I think I'm gonna go home and climb into bed and watch the same episode of The Magic Roundabout over and over until I fall asleep.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)
'Time for Bed', Said Zebedee' will be in my head now.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)
Dougal and the Blue Cat ftw

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)
Thanks for the tip.
I may listen to the last few chapters of 2001. It really is excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)
I have watched that while tripping
or bits of it anyway. Difficult to maintain concentration except when Eartha Kitt was talking.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)
I used a BLACK pen today instead of blue

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)
I always use black.
It's cause I'm racist innit.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)
The black should work for you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)
Everything works for me.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)
My pen is being a right cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)
I've run out of green tea, I might have some breakfast tea (AT LUNCHTIME!!!!!!!!!!) instead

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)
Get some PG tips you bender.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)
That is English Breakfast tea.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)
I wouldn't ever be able to get over the embarrassment of being shown up like this

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)
Yes you will.
You did the last time.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)
linkage plz

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)
I don't need to link something that is constantly taking place.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)
I don't follow you BGB, but that's ok coz your old and hormonal and stuff

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Just you wait till I get my HRT patches and then you'll be sorry!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)
I just bent my arm to scratch my head
and the plaster covering the hole in my arm pulled a load of hairs out and then I squashed the hole too and it really hurt.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)
How did you get a hole in your arm?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)
Giving Blood innit
being all virtuous and shit.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)
I don't think they'd want any of mine.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)
I don't reckon you could afford the bus fare

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)
IF ONLY I'D VOTED.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)
I don't reckon he has to pay bus fares any more

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)
I really should do that but I'm not sure they'd want mine.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Stop copying me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)
How can I be copying you if we posted at the same time?
Answer that conundrum laddy.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)
I don't think they'd want any of mine!?"£?!"£?!?"?£

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)
You've made the song your own.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)
I don't think they'd want mine!!!1111eleventyone!!!!!111111!!!!!!!




Because I've got AIDS.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)
And your blood is obese

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)
It's so full of cholesterol it comes out like tomato puree

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
It's more like Bisto

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)
Why have you got a hole in your arm?
Skagging it up again?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)
Playing around with the compass again.
Seeing how well ard he is.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)
Kind of the opposite

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)
Giving people skag?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Errrrrm
okay not really the opposite at all.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Deacon

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:39, Reply)
Giving Deacon some skag?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)
Would make a change from the taste of his own elbow...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)
eeeow
gorilla
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)
Not really

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)
i can't believe you just disclosed such confidential documents on the internet

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)
Oh shit.
Now you know a potential source and a quarter of our risk matrix.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Nice bit of photoshopping there Al
Shame I can use my awesome filters and corrective tools to show the original image.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)
i love you labs

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)
My Paintsmash skillz bring all the girls to my desk

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)
no no
that'd be your unrelenting machismo and sexual charisma
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:58, Reply)
Screenshotted
I now feel ten feet tall!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)
xxx

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Brilliant.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)
I thought about giving you a pissy stain on your jeans
But thought I'd done enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Does this count?
My car's in the garage for some work. I've had to email my garage with two pictures showing them how to find the valve I want them to replace.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)
how many times do i have to tell you to get a new car?
a proper new one, not these rustbuckets that you buy, and then look surprised when they break down.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)
He needs a pink one.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)
Oh, you know him, he'll buy any car
I think he even wrote a song about it...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
This IS a modern car.
It's caused me no end of problems, far more than the previous rust buckets. The older cars have had the bonus of me actually enjoying the owning of them.

It's fucking bent, you take your car into a garage to get it fixed and then have to show them how to fix it? Fills you with confidence, I promise you.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)
By "modern"
I mean "ten years old".

It's still the youngest car I've ever owned, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)
that is not modern
that is antique
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)
If it's got a computer that tells it how to mix the fuel
it's modern.

If it's got windows that wind down at the press of a button, it's modern.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)
if it has done over 10,000 miles
and it is rickety over speed bumps and the wiper blades are curling a bit and it smells bad and you know you are sitting on seats that some rancid bastard probably farted in a million times over the last 10 years... that is not modern.

that is shit and old and you can get new ones for such low monthly amounts that you should just stop sitting on other people's old farts and do it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Oh where is The Mighty Badger and his superior taste in cars when I need back up?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)
he'll be here a bit later on
his car broke down
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)
The idea that you would purchase a car and pay monthly is so ludicrous
I wouldn't have thought you would need back up.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)
sorry
in meeting. what do you need here?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)
WACKI!
Enjoy Tenerife Blousie
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Fanku!!
Can't really drink much though.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)
Why not?
Too much family?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:48, Reply)
Pregnant

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)
Which part of I can't get a shag don't you understand.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Turkey Baster Lols

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)
You've been at the spunky ruler again

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)
anyone can get a shag
it's getting a shag you actually WANT and who is GOOD at shagging. and who stays GOOD at shagging and doesn't settle very quickly into 3 times a week vanilla. that's the hard part.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)
Well yes!
I was hoping everyone would know what I meant.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)
That's good to know BGB, although I can't remember did that kid with the wonky head in 'Mask' get to spray his load?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)
I haven't got a clue what you're talking about.
Maybe it's you who needs the HRT patches.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Tsk BGB I expected you to be a Cher fan
www.imdb.com/title/tt0089560/
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:04, Reply)
Oh gosh that film is fucking horrendously bad.
How in the name of drooping tits did it get 7.1?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)
I can never stop sniggering at his wonky head

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)
conversely, rory
i did NOT expect YOU to be a cher fan.

my image of you has just undergone a massive, massive sea-change.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1205251
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)
I thought you meant the other mask film.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)
it's too late
i used to picture you as this hot brawny irish dude, swinging his muscled fists of justice over the beakering and the unwise.

now i am seeing a pissy little choirboy in a pink pashmina.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Anyone can get a shag?
Are you crazy? If this were true there'd be no one on the internet.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 17 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)
Any GIRL can get a shag.
Is what I think she meant.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:04, Reply)
Now that you've clarified it I'm still not even sure you're right.
There are some real monsters out there, and no matter how desperate I was, I just couldn't.

At the end of the day, if she's really *that* unattractive, how is one supposed to achieve wood?

Presumably this cuts both ways. How would a lady get fizzing at the bung-hole?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 17 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)
if you had zero standards
you could get laid any night of the week. it's the standards that are the bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Zero standards or completely blind.
And I don't know of anyone who genuinely has zero standards. Even mates with 'low' standards wouldn't just shag *anything*.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 17 May 2011, 14:34, Reply)
She doesn't want to lose her head.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
I told you, if you're going to get spunky, cover your monkey.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
I shall be in charge of a ten year old.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)
That didn't stop the McCanns

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
And look how they were villified.
I shall be a paragon of virtue whilest he is in my charge.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)
Try not to get decapitated
You'd look funny without a head I reckon
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Still have a shoulder to cry on though.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)
bindun

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)
Right now, right, I am posting on B3ta
AND listening to Mos Def
AND FB chatting with B3th
BUT not doing any actual work

ROCK'N'ROLL
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Worst employee EVA!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)
Yep
My boss thinks I'm awesome though. I choose to believe that this astonishingly cushy state of affairs is karmic payback for the entire rest of my working life
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)
PUGS WITH CAT LEGS LOLLLTY WACK!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Speaking of LOLDRUGZ
You know how there is an age limit for drink, like you have to be 18 to buy booze. And how if you're under 18 and a boozest sales you booze they can lose their booze lisance. Well, with drugs, they're iligal to sale no matter what age you are, so if you sale crack to a 12 year old, LEGALLY, is it any worst than an 25 year old?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:58, Reply)
It would be taken into account at your sentencing

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)
I don't know, which of them is offering you more money for it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)
only if they're paying with sex

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:14, Reply)
You give 12 year olds crack to have sex with you?
Jesus Amberl, and to think we were getting along so well recently.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Well I am desperate
and it's no worse than you luring them with lollipops then eating them yourself
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:31, Reply)
But 12 year olds taste so good
especially when you roast them with rosemary.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)
+ garlic

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:35, Reply)
+spit
you're even more depraved than I thought. And who the hell is Rosemary?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)
She's the old lady who lives next door to my mum and dad.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)
I've always wondered
how people like you find each other
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Some Wacky:
www.upsidedowndogs.com

My sister sent me this link yesterday. I've yet to understand quite what's so funny about it, but it's probably suitably 'Lolwaki.' (NB NSFJeff)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)
Best one.
upsidedowndogs.com/pet8489/george-the-boxer/
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)
George is WIN!
hahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)
*GRIN*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)
Ok, that is funny.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)
I'm just laughing at pictures from the weekend, they're keeping me amused
However, for utter stupidity and amusements, I simply go here.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)
I really like Regretsy, Lamebook, Failbook and FoodNetworkHumour

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:17, Reply)
I fucking love Regretsy.
The self-righteousness it inspires is brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)
....and I'm giggling like Happybara in a musk factory again

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)
oh gross

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:33, Reply)
I saw this yesterday on Lampito's fb status and I died.
Because I love it.
katemiddletonforthewin.tumblr.com/
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:35, Reply)
Sad Nick Clegg made me Sad
Blouse, google "Nic cage as everyone", I think it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:40, Reply)
The one that said
Nick Clegg asked if you would come to his birthday party, but you said you were busy that day, but he hadn't told you what day it was yet.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:47, Reply)
That is quite good

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 14:40, Reply)
This thread has dies someone start a new one.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 May 2011, 15:05, Reply)

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