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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Euphemisms
What's the best one? My current favourite is "smash their back doors in" before that it was "ruined"

Which ones do you love/hate.

I am a tender gentle lover.

alt: bonus bbc news link www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-13809122
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:24, 261 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Sympathy reply
works as a euphemism
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:26, Reply)
I've always had a fondness for "making the beast with two backs"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:27, Reply)
Favourite euphemism?
I'm a big fan of "tired and exhausted".

Nan's euphemisms for farting always did annoy me though.

Poot? What the fuck is a poot?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:27, Reply)
It's 'tired and emotional'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:37, Reply)
Tender gentle lovers are for gays.
I want someone who's going to make me walk like John wayne for a week.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:28, Reply)
If they can walk at all you're doing it wrong.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:28, Reply)
Well I have had a few run, but not walk.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:34, Reply)
you want someone to lend you their horse to ride for a day?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Lend me their horse?
Best euphemism ever.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Current house euphemisms for wanking are
"peeling one off" and "going to M&S"

Sex is "Touching the velvet".

I hate "Spend a penny"
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:29, Reply)
I hate "little boys room"
sounds noncy to me.

I don't get the M&S one
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:30, Reply)
The weirdest place my housemate ever had a wank was apparently
the toilets in Marks and Spencer when he was on work experience there.

I don't like any euphemisms that sound like they're for children. It's all a bit creepy.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:31, Reply)
I really don't get the idea of wanking in toilets.
For weirdos that is, weirdos.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:33, Reply)
I concur
also, into a sock
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:33, Reply)
Much better to do it into your mouth like Darth

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:34, Reply)
it's really quite simple
it's having a wank, but in a toilet. What's hard to understand?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)
How to get a good enough 3g connection for streaming video

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Wasn't 'tipping the velvet' used as a euphemism for cunnilingus in Victorian times?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:32, Reply)
Thats where we got it from.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:33, Reply)
Ahh

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:34, Reply)
"Touching the Velvet" is a bit close to "touching cloth" for my liking

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:34, Reply)
That's what I was thinking.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:39, Reply)
I never thought about it like that
...thanks.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Enjoy your shit sex

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Oh cripes, I'm really 'nuzzlin' the muslin' here.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)
I've never used it in relation to my own sex.
But then I never really announce what I'm about to go and do.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
That would be a little weird.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)
Hey baby, how do you feel about touching cloth?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:01, Reply)
"ATTENTION EVERYONE"
"WE'RE NOW GOING FOR A SHAG. IN THE ROOM NEXT TO THIS ONE. ENJOY LISTENING!"
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)
My housemate practically skips to the bedroom grinning.
It's very obvious.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)
LIES


God that took far too long
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)
You fucking genius.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:32, Reply)
Ta, took to long to do though
Everyone's down there
|
V
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:35, Reply)
And Edwardian I think
there was a TV show called that with Keeley Hawes and her boobs in it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:33, Reply)
And a very good show it was!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:35, Reply)
I am learning loads of things today.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:37, Reply)
You are never more than ten feet from a rat

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:39, Reply)
I read that as rant and agreed.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)
oi
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Wut! I wasn't being disrespectful missus.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
for wanking:
"having a fist kebab"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:32, Reply)
Tutankhamun's trumpet
Pump action yoghurt rifle
Root
plough
put on the block
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:34, Reply)
'Coughing the filthy custard' is quite a good one
Anyone seen Dozer today? I found a present for him
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:34, Reply)
shaking hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:37, Reply)
This is a bit laboured
it feels a little, dare I say it, Spanky
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)
How very fucking dare you.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)
It is, I concur, shit, however

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)
It is a touch Spankoid, Mighters.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:42, Reply)
luckily I am unfamilar with his work
however, consider it retracted due to shiteness.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)
My levels of envy for you have never been so high.
You know when you wish you could un-read something?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:44, Reply)
ah. like that, is it?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:52, Reply)
Like that, but a thousand million times more so.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)
DON'T NAME THAT MAN!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)

sorry

Is he still "posting"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Far too much effort to say.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:39, Reply)
if you're going for limited effort, "having a wank" is hard to beat, though.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)
True.
What's the shortest euphemism for it?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)
erm, dunno...
strum?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
MONTY....WINS!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
I WIN

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:59, Reply)
Tug.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
Male only, obv.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
:)

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:58, Reply)
Agga DO DO DO

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)
My all-time favourite is for 'having a poo' and is
'I'm off to strangle a darkie'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Drop Boyz to Men off at the pool

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Lay some cable.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
build a log cabin

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:02, Reply)
I've always liked 'teasing one out'
If indeed I have etc, etc

Alt: I love 'Ghost Town' but was it really an 'era-defining song' ? (sorry, I may have got distracted by the sidebar stories)
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Just nipping up to the 5th floor to use the photocopier

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)
very good, can you run me off a copy of this please

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Here are some 'euphemimsies'
Good: pussy, cunt, twat.
Bad: bermuda triangle, honey pot, fuckhole, toolshed, slit, gash, muff.
Ugly: axe wound, badly packed kebab, fish taco, bearded clam.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)
I like quim

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:44, Reply)
I forgot that one. I like it.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:44, Reply)
I like breasts

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:45, Reply)
There used to be a lezzie quarterly called Quim.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)
A quimtet you might say
Did one of them play the pink harmonica?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)
I meant magazine.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
I think I mis-read that!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
I think you did petal.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Tip the velvet.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Quarterly = magazine published every 3 months.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
I read quartet...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)
That's beautiful
Achingly so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Are you spying on the boys changing room again?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)
I never get caught either
Fleet like a Fox, me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:53, Reply)
point to you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:53, Reply)
Cheers both
Might let this lie now.

(all yours Vippers)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)
I fucking won't. I'm just waiting....

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)
very good

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
I hate hate hate
the words clunge and minge. Blegh.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Me too
Enough that I didn't include them.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)
A mate of mine uses the word splinge.
Which is vile.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Rat?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:59, Reply)
you forgot "burst badger" or "butcher's dustbin"

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
I didn't include the vast quantity of euphemimsies out there
Because I got bored.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)
true
however "jesus christ, she had a fanny like a burst badger" is pretty much guaranteed a titter.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:53, Reply)
dead hedgehog

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:01, Reply)
Hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:03, Reply)
honey pot is used a lot in regency erotica
along with quim, as Ape has said

and loads of others I can't think of now
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
I also like 'I'm just going to shake hands with the unemployed'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:45, Reply)
For "drunk"
I like "over refreshed". Or "rehydration issues".

And for someone that always has to go one better I like "fiveskin".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:45, Reply)
Wanking innit

5 knuckle shuffle
tommy tank
visiting Mrs.Palm and her 5 daughters of sin
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)
Fistina Palmer

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)
Pulling the pope's hat off
Boxing the one-eyed champ
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
Of course 'performing a bebop solo on the spunk trumpet' is also good.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Periods
Up on blocks
On her rag
Arsenal playing at home
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Tourettes favorite.....riding the cotton pony.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)
fallen to the Communists
attracting bears
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Two of my favourites right there

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:52, Reply)
mine too
unfortunately many people don't seem to understand either of them
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:53, Reply)
Because they're stupid

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:54, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:54, Reply)
I like them!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)
On the blob.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:52, Reply)
Blowjob week

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Is it?
I've been lobbying for this for years!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)
I fucking wish

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:58, Reply)
Stop wanking into the oven glove then

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:59, Reply)
How the hell are you single?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Holy shit is she only pretending to have a boyfriend to me?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
I'm not, dear,
Not since November.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Oh, on behalf of mankind, can I just say "=((((". That is unless you play the field.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)
Visiting Aunt Helen
Minge.

Most efficient 9 minutes of my day.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:12, Reply)
Flying the Japanese flag

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
If you've got the shits
you can have an arse like the Japanese Flag.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)
Surfing the crimson wave

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:59, Reply)
"raggin'" is huge here
it's disgusting
my cousin posted on a photo of my dog asking if she was raggin, I told her not to use that word because it's trashy
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
I tend to eschew euphemisms
Instead, I prefer to tell my workmates, "I'm off to have a massive shite"

I don't like my workmates
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
I've always liked "drain the lizard" to mean taking a piss
and "shouting soup" for vomiting amuses me
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Drain the spuds.
*shudders*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:52, Reply)
siphon the python

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:53, Reply)
choke the chicken

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
it's like the sound of a thousand bananas being peeled....

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)
strain your greens

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:58, Reply)
I like ralph for puke

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Drain the main vein

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:04, Reply)
I quite like the portmanteu 'procrasturbation'
Both the word and the act.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)
Testiculation
Waving your arms around whilst talking bollocks
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:00, Reply)
Wizard's sleeve and clown's pocket are both good.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:04, Reply)
which may be "wetter than an otter's pocket"

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Dripping like a fucked fridge
Wetter than a British summer
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Welly boot top

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
I saw this and thought of you
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-13808371
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
OH FOR CRYING OUT FUCKING LOUD.
What is the fucking matter with these spastics?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)
for fucks sake
can they not get their head round "make the existing top grade a bit harder to get"?

fucking idiots
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:09, Reply)
Yeh, fucking morons.
I expect they do a lot of drugs.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)
Hey clenders!
Thanks for the awesome jam, daughter loves it too.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)
Hey Noellers!
Excellent news. Meanwhile, your Onion Joy has graced many a bacon sandwich.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)
No doubt they're 'Class Super A Star' drugs.
Cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)
I haven't been looking in on these pages of drivel for quite some time.
Please reassure me that you are still in a bad mood.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Fucking fuming.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)
were you before you saw that article?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)
To a certain extent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Hurray, you sad sack.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)
this looks like a dig, but I can't for the life of me figure out why
must be all the drugs eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)
I am actually extremely angry about this.
I'm not even fucking joking.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)
FreeFair must be gutted he missed out.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)
Don't knock it Monters
By the time Eleni does her A levels they'll have had to make up a whole new word for the standard of awesome she achieves. I'm thinking "splendifuckindiferous"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)
OH FUCK
Ghost Town is thirty years old?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)
*cries dust*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)

thetorchonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/the-10-grossest-indiana-jones-moments-where-does-crystal-skull-rank218023536.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)
*sighs*
I was so good looking in my younger days, wasn't I?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Hood-Butter chic

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)
Yup.
Although it's forever associated with Father Ted for me.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)
Eh!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)
Because making stuff harder is
"discriminatory against the less able" because apparently you shoudl be allowed to get As regardless of your mental ability.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)
No they can't do that, think about why you fucking idiot

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)
I'll give you a clue
it's to do with different people taking the tests in different years.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:19, Reply)
It's to do with comparing the value of the grade over multiple age groups

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:19, Reply)
It's a bit like if 100 meter runners get faster every year
why don't we just make them run 102 meters?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)
that's not the same thing

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:21, Reply)
No it's not, you don't run fast during exams

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)
I did.
In the oppostite direction.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)
you didn't have the 400 metre A-level maths relay at your school?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)
it would need to be done across the board with the buy in of all the universities and such
and it would make the results not comparable to previous years, but is there someone else that I am overlooking?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)
It would end up with I got a comparrison of grades being based on their years.
C in 2015 is a B in 2011 etc.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:21, Reply)
I should have learned by now that making off the cuff remarks is a mistake

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)
Just do it when I'm not online
other people don't notice.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I suspect Clendrix did.
either that or she simply doesn't approve of me.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Wouldn't it just be easier to say
the top 10% of papers get an A
the next 15% get a B
etc.

That way we take into account the possibility that one year's paper may be a bit easier/harder than the year before. Or is this how it's already done?

It's Friday and I'm confused.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Yuk

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)
I've just introduced my roommates girlfriend to clopper and growler.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)
did you just drop trou right in front of her and go
"Meet this, bitch"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)
You have two?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Hahah it's like Total Recall down there.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)
no, twatwaffle

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:33, Reply)
Stop the fucking press
Have investigated the whole Eggheads thing and it appears they're looking for teams of six. This is the good news, as it means no-one has to miss out, save Bobby who only said he'd do it if we couldn't find anyone clever. Possibly they insist upon a reserve. Details as I get them.

The bad news is that, like TWL, it's filmed in Glasgow. Although I regard this as a good omen, it will make bashing it up with London B3tans a tiny bit tricksy.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
Given that Guildford isn't that far away from Southampton
A trip to Glasgow isn't really on the cards.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)
The Beeb will pay for travel
and there are these things called planes now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)
Planes?
Will we ever see the likes...etc.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Public transport, innit.
Full of cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)
My friends did Eggheads.
Fuck off do they pay for planes.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)
Seriously?
They paid for transport across the shop for TWL and there's 9 people per show on that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)
I may be wrong
but my friends had to get the train from London. 8 hours or something? If they'd offered planes I'm sure they'd have taken the chance.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:35, Reply)
You may very well be right
I took the train myself, but only because I live in the arse end of nowhere and there weren't any convenient flights from Norwich to Glasgow. I'm sure a couple of the people on my show flew, but they lived further north than me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:43, Reply)
they film it there so only thick people go on, thus not troubling the Eggheads

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)
I like the way you think
But try to bear in mind how savagely nerdy quizlings can be, Norwich to Glasgow is no short distance but I jumped on the opportunity like a solid gold buttplug
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)
My mate just recorded an eggheads show, they do 3 every morning

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)
I am cleverererer than Bobby.
There are amoeba on Saturn, smarter than Bobby.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)
We're actually going to have to told tryouts at this rate
B3ta Eggheads audition drinking competition bash!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)
Ah, an excuse to start drinking, I was looking for one of those
Count me in
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Come to the summer bash.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)
However I read this it sounds really sinister.
I'll check my diary.
Will you be there? Oh, man we could totally quote films all night. It'd be AWESOME.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:37, Reply)
Of all the bashes in all the world....
Yes, I'll be there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)
I did a squeaky, slightly wet fart this morning
and the small dribble of liquid poo that trickled down the inside leg of my jeans was considerably cleverer than Bobby.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)
Who is Bobby?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Who is Can you fly,

*robolols*
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:19, Reply)
*doesn't lol at all at bent 'film' quote*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:21, Reply)
That really was a terrible film.
Verhoeven has a lot to answer for.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)
That's hardly top of the list though is it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)
Showgirls.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)
I disagree, Robocop is a very good film
The only film Verhoeven has to answer for is Hollow Man as it is his most 'director for hire' gig yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:32, Reply)
It just seemed to be violence for the sake of it.
Couldn't see any point in it whatsoever.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:33, Reply)
That's because you're a boring twat.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)
Shit the fuck off.
I just prefer films that have an actual plot.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)
I'm glad your response was just a copy of someone elses insult
rather than any sort of intelligent rebuttal. And Robocop is quite clearly a well constructed satire on consumerism.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:41, Reply)
I'd buy that for a dollar.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:40, Reply)
Hollow Man was a massive disappointment
Showgirls is still the main cuplrit though, a bold stab at putting a vaguely justifiable spin on big-budget soft porn or not, it was still fucking shit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:36, Reply)
Still, boobs.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)
you know the bird whose room the invisible bloke sneaks in to?
I knew her brother at uni. He was incredibly tall.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)
Rhona Mitra
Would.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:40, Reply)
B3tan dipshit 'BobbyPires'
Currently training to be a teacher.

A teacher with less knowlege than his most retarded pupil.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)
The future of our children is in safe hands, then.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I have to say this doesn't concern me in the slightest
/barrenlols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)
Me neither.
I am not suitable father material, despite a fondness for Dad jokes and extremely terrible dancing.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)
Are you a massive nonce?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)
No, just massive.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I actually probably would make quite a good Dad, if I were to grow a sense of responsibility
And I've no idea how fertile or otherwise my balls are, but it's all completely immaterial as long as I'm with the missus
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:32, Reply)
There are no amoeba on Saturn.
And yet they're still smarter.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)
Prove it.
Religionlols.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)
i saw a dog do a shit, eat the shit, vomit up the shit and then eat the shit vomit and shit it out
the resulting mess was more intelligent than Bobby
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)
Although even he can spell 'intelligent'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)
burn

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:19, Reply)
So can I...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Can you spell 'sneaky little ninja shitbag'?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)
we all saw it, it's okay

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)
Saw what?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)
House music all night long.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:31, Reply)
Please tell me someone gets this.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)
*puts up hand*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)
It was only a Jungle Brothers joke - no need to have a wank about it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:39, Reply)
*Puts up hand*
30/09/1973, best of all the birthdates.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:41, Reply)
OK I'm scared now.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:43, Reply)
Mine too mate.
Don't worry. We've done this.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Phew.
I was about to start sweating.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:45, Reply)
Where do you live?
We must have a joint birthday party.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:45, Reply)
You're not my brother are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Lewisham, work in the City.
I have already invited all our friends to our joint b/day party. ;-)
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:50, Reply)
I haven't actually got any.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Me either.
Easiest party I've ever organised.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:01, Reply)
Yes, yes we did.
Ape, you should hang your head in shame.

After sorting out the bullet wound in your foot.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Copycat motherfucker

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:25, Reply)
Adopt, adapt, improve.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)
This is exactly how the Nazis got started

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)
Don't you even dare to invoke Rule 34 here.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)
I actually have no idea what rule 34 is
but based on your previous posts I suspect it to be something along the lines of "if anyone has ever thought of it, there exists porn of it"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)
Yup.
And I actually meant Godwin's Law.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:35, Reply)
Ah, the good old days.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)
no

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)
POTD
Sorry Apers, especially cruel of me considering the searing bullet-related pain in your foot
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

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