alright qu3nders?
How was the bash? Do tell.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 11:20, 115 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh may dayz, or is it all my dayz? I think it's "All my dayz" because it's supposed to be "In all my days I have never....".
Anyway, there are some such oh gee oh gosh oh my, SO SWELL, people there last night.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Yep

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 12:59, Reply)

You're so 3008, CL, everyone else is 2000 and late.
How are you, lovely? Did you have a good time? Did you get to use your diana inspired ballgown ?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I had a lovely time, ta.
I'll have to save the Diana inspired ballgown for when PJM treats me like a princess and drives me at high speed into a tunnel...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Best. Euphasim. Ever.
Fabulous !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Bash was most nice I was glad to meet so many charming and loverly people
I was also most pleased that people, especially BGB, Monty and Gonz were just as I imagined them.

/gay
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:17, Reply)

0o0o0o0oh, are you the dude with the awesome facial hair?
I'm pleased you had "fun", presuming you did have "fun" and not "misery".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Fantastic facial hair
I'm quite considering growing a moustache and beard myself now.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:37, Reply)

It would suite you, something to tickle the kneecaps.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:47, Reply)

A big fuck off ZZ top beard then?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:52, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTZ1znQAO8o
( djtrialprice, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Arf!
That's certainly one option...and would save on waxing.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I do believe you could carry it off dear lady
You appear to have the requisite poise
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Like a lamp
;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Have you ever considered an eyepatch?
Purely for cosmetic purposes you understand, and not that there's anything wrong with your eyes, and perhaps a long 1920's style cigarette holder?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Certainly a patch would be easier to wear than a monocle
A long cigarette holder would be stylish. I don't smoke though so I wonder what I could put in it instead?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:21, Reply)

This is a problem.
I similarly feel bereft that, having quit, I cannot smoke a pipe.Ahh me, smoking is so fun and glamorous, it's just a shame about the smell and the lingering death.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Yes, that would be me.
Truth to tell I think my moustache was more memorable than I, but there are worse thinks to be remembered for. And yes Gonz I had much fun and no misery thank you for asking.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I was kind of hoping you would leave the moustache and let us hang around with it for a bit longer, but I gather it had better things to do.
Oh silly me, how rude, calling [name] a 'thing'.

Fantastic !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Well, If I ever shave it off Gonz
I shall post it to you and you can wear it to bashes in future, actually I do think it would rather suit you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I wouldn't want to take away your superpowers.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Sweetheart, you couldn't takeaway my superpowers
with a team of wild horses, they are innate, innit? The Tache is mearly an outward manifestation of my inner power.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Oh good-o ! I just watched a film about an experment called The Experment and they cut the main guy's hair because he broke the rules...
... and he wasn't happy about it so broke more rules. I'm sure I'm going somewhere with this, I just wanted to say I saw a good film just now really and shoehorned it into this.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 15:18, Reply)

I assumed you were someone's evil twin

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Ah, not so much
Just me, maybe I have a Good Twin somewhere in an alternate reality that is just basically clean shaven, poor chap.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:49, Reply)

Actually no, changed my mind sex and twins both in the other thread.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 22:03, Reply)

I've retired from the bash scene
but strangely enough I did enjoy the company of a few fellow quasi-retired b3tans.
( djtrialprice, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I tend to only go to bashes if it's loads of people I'd want to see anyway.
I'm not too bothered about going to a bash if it's all entirely new people. A few new faces are great though.
I'm keen on mini bashes and non-bashes.

Actually I just like going out and getting drunk.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Aye, you're just a big lush ;)

( djtrialprice, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

You know me well ;)

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Does being bummed by Al count as bashing?
Hello you. How's life as a massive bum treating you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I literally slept less than a metre away from al last night
If I was bummed, it didn't touch the sides as there's no problem in my gate today.

Re: my lifestyle change, I find it exceedingly enjoyable and relaxing. I should have decided to do absolutely nothing just like you years ago.
( djtrialprice, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 15:46, Reply)

You decided to get a sugar daddy too?
How does Roota feel about this?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 15:49, Reply)

I don't think al earns enough to support my lifestyle

( djtrialprice, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 16:07, Reply)

*starts going again*

( thealternativefact, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)

hehehe

( djtrialprice, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 15:43, Reply)

I'm sitting with the back door open, and I can smell a really yummy barbecue somewhere nearby.
I am now hungry.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:31, Reply)

We don't want to know about your backdoors being open for all and sundry to see!
gosh!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)

hahaha ... nice!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Someone should prepare an "official" bash report
Ideally painting as many people as possible in a bad light, so that they feel compelled to set the record straight. Did Rachelswipe really beat Al unconscious? Did Gonz actually receive a full-body massage from three b3tans who have taken out a superinjunction to prevent their identities and even gender being revealed?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 16:34, Reply)

So tempted...

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Ok then, I'll do my best, no doubt I'll forget some people.
• Clendrix was as great as ever, she's a bit swell to tell you the truth.
• Monty ran off at 11ish saying something about a rezided sigh about having to have sex this month and all he wants is a break from it, and how he wants to dump Lusty but doesn't know how to tell her.
• Wookie was counting down the moments 'till his birthday and celebrated with a wank in the toilets.
• Berk made some lovely scones and eye candy for everyone.
• Bill got drunk, and then more drunk.
• Lampers and Lamper's Friend and Amberly had a huge* orgy with SportsCrow**. Bill tried to come along, and as much as Lamper's Flatmate wanted him there, Bill was insistant in waiting in the bushes and watching and SC*** wasn't down with that.
• Raki, 'swipe, Berk and I think a few others had a blowjob competition where there was no clear winner except Enigmatic. I fished for an invite but didn't get one, because I figured out of all the women there, at least one of them would get self esteem issues about the ratio of boys-to-girls and that would be a perfect chance for me to friend-zone myself.
• BGB, Bloke With Awesome Facial Hair, DG, Chickenlady, TGB and everyone else who I haven't mentioned yet was also pressent and pleasent.

* Does 4 people count as a 'huge orgy' ? I donno, never been in one really, it's only one step up to a threesome really, it's essenchally the bare-minimum required amount of people for an orgy.
** Ok, I'm 50/50 if it's sportscrow or supreamcow, I get their usernames very confused.
*** Oh man, win, I could use the innitals, YEAH, TOTALLY MEANT THE RIGHT ONE, WHATEVER ONE IT IS.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 17:21, Reply)

The highlight of my weekend is buying some ASDA bubblegum flavoured ice lollies.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 17:25, Reply)

You paint such a good picture Gonz
I must bash at some point.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)

They're really really good ice lollies.
I think I would like for you to come to a bash at somepoint, just so.... you know....maybe possibly hopefully could be.... nah', you wouldn't.... Ok, I'll throw this out there, into the open, the wild blue yonder. We could meet up, enjoy a drink together, have a conversation like normal mostly-grown-ups. I promise if we hug I won't sniff your hair and sigh.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:03, Reply)

Do I have to change my user name again
to "Bloke With Awesome Facial Hair" or will you ever remember my name Gonz? I do so like it when they remember my name in the morning.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 17:40, Reply)

It's up to you really, I don't remember words begining with 'Qu' that well, I can only think of the word Quiz and Question.
And I know there are lots of words that start with 'Qu' because they even made a spelling rule about it, that a 'u' always follows a 'q'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:05, Reply)

I promise I didn't google to get those two, I actually remembered those words.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:06, Reply)

I would like to breed you, monty and Berk together and I think we could recreate King Charles II.
King Charles II was the party king, his dad got fucked over by Cromwell, and everyone was like "yay, the king is gone, we can now all be free from the monarkee", but when Cromwell came about he banned people having fun in any shape or form, so the people were like Fuck This Shit and got KC2 involved who was like "YAY PARTY TIME".

He had your facial hair, Monty's tallness and lust for getting wasted and berk's georgous curly locks.

I imagine they didn't litterally say "yay party time", probably more "Huzzah, the partieth doest commith".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:10, Reply)

So you want me and Monty to spit-roast Berk
in order to re-incarnate a long-dead party-king?

I'm not sure it'll work but damnit I'm game if Monty and Berk are.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:16, Reply)

I don't really know science that well, I don't know how it all works, I don't even understand how ballpoint pens work unless they create a vacum that pushes the ink down the ink-barrel an then the roller gets a bit of ink and that gets put on the paper.
Wait a sec, if that is how it works, then I guess I do know science.

Anyway, Berk is the scientiest agmonst us, so I imagine it's a matter of some sort of orgy*, OR, or, they extract the sperm directly via the testical via the use of a scalpol. Then putting the two sperms in a large hardon collider going at opersite directions and hope they combine... and then the rest is all pretty normal turkey baster stuff.

Anyway, I love this (press the CC button): www.youtube.com/watch?v=War-7M9Nv3A

* I've got to stop reffering to threesomes as orgies, it shows my lack of knowledge.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:32, Reply)

I like the song
it reminds me of this guy, www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iRTB-FTMdk&feature=relmfu who is my latest and greatest musical discovery.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:37, Reply)

Oh I like that a lot, I'm gonna get his stuff, that'll be my new music for this week.
Do you know Dan Le Sac v Scroobulus Pip's stuff? Angles is my alltime face album. I think you'd like this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKrf81_5Bg8
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:44, Reply)

you can buy from
www.professorelemental.com
may I recommend The Indifference Engine well worth £5.

yeah, tune's not bad, not in love but it could grow on me.

Edited to add: you might also like: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSflRlHPay4 although I prefer Elemental.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:48, Reply)

Sweet, I'll go for that now.
I've heard of the gentleman rhymer, one of his vids went viralish (I think it was chap-hop). London deffo has the best rap in the world, I think I'd really like paris-rap if I knew french.

Oh my, that reminds me, I was talking to some very pretty french girls after the pub last night, but had to inform them that Birmingham is not just around the corner.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:57, Reply)

Fine, the court accepts your plea
of "not guilty due to Gonzism", but I'm not changing it again so soon.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:12, Reply)

Ain't bashes great!
They're like groups of people but all mixed up with ladies and men and everyone loves beer.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:18, Reply)

What up Blousie?
glad to see you made it home in one piece, thanks for introducing me to all these loverly people.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:21, Reply)

My pleasure.
Now it's up to you to try and not let them find out where you live.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:23, Reply)

My Fortress of Solitude is well hidden
and surrounded by savage natives.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Your mum?

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:28, Reply)

while I'm aware that works as an all purpose answer to most things
I fear in this case I am confused, but then is has been a long weekend and my poor brain is tired.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

I am intimating that your mum is a savage native.

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Ahh, thought that might be it
More Russian mafia and Nigerian gangs around here.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:49, Reply)

How cosmopolitan!

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Yeah boy, we have all the classy types Dahn Sarf
it's not that bad really, well, I get no trouble anyway.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:52, Reply)

That's because you're a communist.
Everyone is scared of them.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:56, Reply)

That'll be it
That and The Moustache of Awesomeness
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:59, Reply)

Haha,
[theme to Eastenders quietly in the background] squeek, squeek....... ....squeek squeek..... squeek squeek.......[the bit before the theme plays]
"SON WITH AWESOME FACIAL HAIR ! ARE YOU ALRIGHT THERE LOVELY?"
"YEAH', FINE THANKS, SHE JUST FELL OUT OF BED, NO WORRIES"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Did you get the hug I booked for you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:22, Reply)

I did Jeff.
It made my night : )
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:23, Reply)

I'm glad you received it!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:28, Reply)

I'm glad you sent it.

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:43, Reply)

well I'M glad you received it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:44, Reply)

Yes but I'M glad the idea came to you and to instigated the whole procedure.

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:50, Reply)

But I'M glad you received it!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:51, Reply)

Well I'm glad the baby Jesus died for all our sins.

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:54, Reply)

hahahahahaha
How was the Friday Feast with Gonz.

Be honest, he won't mind if you say you didn't like it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:58, Reply)

It was delicious.
Truefact!
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 19:01, Reply)

What was the highlight of the feast?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 19:09, Reply)

The lobster fo sho.
But the whole ambiance of the evening was lovely.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 19:12, Reply)

I trust you managed to avoid one of your epic hangovers today.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)

I was a good girl : )

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)

You're always good!
I wasn't. I drank too much on Saturday night. It fair made shopping a chore today.

How lovely is this though. I asked berk to give me a bell during 'do you remember the first time?' at the Pulp gig.

And she did. So I've had a listen along.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:03, Reply)

Haha! fantastic!
She brought scones, clotted cream and jam to the bash.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)

This was her home-made jam wasn't it?
I trust you enjoyed the scones and jam.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)

i ate some in your honour

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Good work Captain!
Were they well tasty?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)

of course they were!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

I thought they would be.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Another Reason To Get A Dog....
The best bit of a Cornetto is the bottom of the cone, that's the only bit I want, so it'll be nice to give that to someone so it's not wasted.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 18:37, Reply)

I just got home - yay!
I had a lovely time and people are nice. Which I suppose it quite disappointing for a story
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Evening Captain.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)

evening
how's your weekend been?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)

I did some boozing and shopping
And caught up with some friends I haven't seen in ages. And I was encouraged to hold a baby. Which I did for a bit, then I handed the baby back.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

did you or it cry?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

No, there were no tears on either side.
Although the baby seemed to view me as something of an oddity.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)

you are

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Obvious answer

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:30, Reply)

yeah, well
I spent a long time on a coach with some obnoxious women crowing the whole time. I had earphones on so I missed most of it, but still. I nearly had to use my teacher voice
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)

What does your teacher voice sound like?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:44, Reply)

there are a couple of levels
it starts of kind of reasonable with an edge of sarcasm, then there's disappointed because 'you've let yourself down' and then there is my battlefield voice. The latter is very loud I think I've used it twice ever when teaching. I'm usually calm and it freaks students out. Not sure about annoying bus people
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:47, Reply)

So what happened on those two occasions to make you go proper mental at the students?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)

it's just shock tactics for when they are noisy and wont' shut up
I've never really lost it with a class
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 22:39, Reply)

That is one clever baby.

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Is obvious.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:31, Reply)

You love it!

( girlinthehole, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)

So do you!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:44, Reply)

Babies are like tattoos to me
They just don't appeal, partially because once you've got one you're stuck with it.

Unless you strike lucky like Eric Clapton.

Evenin' all.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)

How was the cricket TD :(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:44, Reply)

Shite
Not as shite as today but still shite.

Thanks for asking though.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:47, Reply)

I thought I'd ask about the cricket, rather than saying
'So, TD. How did you feel about wasting fifty quid on a ticket to watch that shower of shite'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)

£36
And turned down a day's work.

It's not even like we got to see any good cricket - at least today Sri Lanka gave it a bit of handle.

They were they less bad team on Friday.

Highlight was the coppers threatening to arrest two stewards for being knobs.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:55, Reply)

That's encouraging (the police v stewards)
Usually the police side with people in orange jackets. Glad to hear that the local plod took a different approach.

What were the stewards doing wrong?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 21:57, Reply)

They tried to eject two geezers
Who were a bit pissed but weren't doing any harm. Didn't hear the confrontation but apparently one of the stewards threatened to smack one of these geezers down, when Plod stepped in and explained that you can't really do that and the steward turned on Plod.

Headingley stewards are notoriously shite - really sour the atmosphere as opposed to Edgbaston where they join in.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 Jul 2011, 22:09, Reply)