Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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ARGH BT SHITCUNTSThis morning I get a text saying an engineer won't be calling as I'm already wired up so I don't need to take the day off. A bit fucking late by then, and they must have known all along. Then the BT Hub and phone never turned up and I have to spend twenty minutes navigating their phone system - along the way being told I have no order - to discover it's delayed until the 11th. AND YOU COULDN'T FUCKING CALL EMAIL OR TEXT???? Nnnnngh.
What's a worse word than shitcunts?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 18:41,
132 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
rotting corpse eyeballsin a runny shit jus
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 18:50,
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I really don't know what to have.I'm leaning more towards a omlette than anything else.
What are you going to have?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 18:59,
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New potatoes, tender stem broccoli and spicy bean burgers.I haven't had an omelette in ages.
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girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:02,
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I do enjoy a nice omelette.It depends what I can find to put in with it though that will decide if I go down that route or not.
For some reason, I really don't care for new potatoes at all.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:04,
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Jersey royals are lush.I could eat them by the bucket load.
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girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:05,
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Buttered and minted they are fucking gorgeous.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:06,
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I had a tin of tuna to offset the pizza I had for lunch. I'm still annoyed now that I ate it.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:08, Reply)
I hope you're annoyed at eating the tuna, and not that you ate a pizza.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:09,
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I love tuna, I eat it out of the tin like a wrong'un.It drives my mum mad because I go through a week's worth in about two days.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:11, Reply)
..or the smell of my binsince I put two brown bananas in there. It's a week and a half until bin day :(
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 18:53,
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you don't have a mary day?it's when you go all sheela-na-gig and run around terrorising the locality with your hoo-ha.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:00, Reply)
sheela-na-gig?is that the nun with her tits out thing?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:15,
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Google image search itit's worth seeing
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:28,
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you want me to googleblousie's sheela-na-gig?
scandal!
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:31,
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Fucksake Cavy*shakes head* *looks disappointed*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:34,
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You, young ladyhave a dirty mind. To the pure all things are pure.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:44,
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then you must have a dirty mind to think that I didhoisted by your own petard
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:47,
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You're the one who assumed I was suggering you google Blousies bitsrather than an innocent pagan fertility symbol. Quite appart from anything else I bet Blousie's Ladybits aren't on google...
*googles*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:53,
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Not yet!I haven't found the right website to showcase them yet.
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girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:57,
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you want somewhere that will get youincreased traffic
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:58,
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I know oneJust email me any pics you have lying around and I'll upload them for you.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:58,
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erm *looks shifty* yesThe last ones got
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:00,
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fuck emI'm off to the pub. Later!
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 18:58,
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Good work Lighty!Why not go to a pub with a dart board and throw some arrows.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:00,
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that's probably not a good idea, he might hit someone in anger(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:01,
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It's a great idea.Shut up Kristine.
(I want to see the newspaper headlines 'Fucked off BT customer is DARTS HORROR')
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:03,
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No. YOU shut YOUR dirty arseface.*No returns*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:06,
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My mum just called me up to say about this'n'that'n'other and how I've had a pretty hard time of some thing and all that....... so we're going to go on a Spa break in a country mansion somewhere, the place has loads of really nice resturants and a jacuzzi, sauna, and all of those things.... and I have no say in the matter, that's what we're doing, and I really am looking forward to it =D
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:01,
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That sounds lovely Gonz.Where in the country is the spa?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:02,
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Not sure yet, we were talking about this place though.... www.warnerleisurehotels.co.uk/hotels/thoresby-hall-hotel/overview/
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:06,
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Is that one of the ones where they cover you in mud and chocolate and enormously butch Thai woman gives you a massage that ends with her accidentally slipping her thumb in your ass?I sincerely hope so.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:20,
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you speak from experience I take it(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:22,
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ooh nicemum's are awesome, treasure your time with her.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:21,
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Mum's are BRILLIANT!www.youtube.com/watch?v=knYOcaQ-x5o
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:29,
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Best boy names beginning with C?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:23,
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I dunno I reckon calling them a bunch of Christophers lacks impact.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:37,
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Congratulations !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:44,
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Charltonactually that's a shit name, but I couldn't think of one. Callum? Nah, Callums are always badly behaved
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:45,
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of course this is a great opportunity to insultsomeone by accident
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:47,
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Carlosthe Jackal FTW
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:03,
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OK, my viewpoint may be skewedbut hoovering the carpet just now was the best thing ever. I have finally defeated the sawdust and hay flood and I can see the carpet
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:43,
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What sort of hoover have you got?You strike me as the sort of person who'd have a Henry.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:50,
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noi have a blue one
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:52,
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Henry comes in bluewww.henryvacs.co.uk/acatalog/Numatic_Homecare_Range.html
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:53,
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it doesn't have a face(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:55,
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Henry does.Maybe you could make a face for your blue hoover and give it a name. It'll be company for the piggies when you're at work.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:56,
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hoovers are grimI don't want them to have a personality.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:57,
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Get the hoover a tartan scarf and call itVaccy McVacuum.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:58,
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What the fuck is it up with americans on TV who claim they're living in Italy ?I'm watching this show called "Extra Virgin", about this women living with an italian man, they were learning how to shoot wild bore, because the bores are roaming their garden in tuscany. The guy who was teaching her to shoot was american "Ok, so maybe there are a few americans in Tuscany", but then the shop keeper was american too. And then they're driving through a road which blatently was somewhere in the states (big wide road, huge houses with lush green lawns, all the houses uniforms, 4x4s in every drive). They're even talking Hunter's Food/Peasent Food, with the local hunters.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:51,
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Food Network, it's some show called "Extra virgin" staring some italianophile called Debi Mazar(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:00,
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Channel 4, 9pm tonight, The Killing,I watched the Danish original which was ace.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:57,
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borat is on film4 at 9I've never seen it.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:11,
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I'm looking forward to watching Dynamo on Watch this evening.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:59,
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I wanna see that, but I also wanna see The Apprentice(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:01,
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You can watch The Apprentice on the iPlayer if you've not got the facility to record the other.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:08,
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Sweet, I found the other thing I was recording (Chicargo Code, donno what that is, but it's american so I can download it easy)... so I cancelled that one for Dinomo(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:10,
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Otherwise, Watch has a +1 channel, so you might be able to record all of them.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:11,
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This is why you've got A-levels and I've only got GCSEs, good thinking !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:16,
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where did everyone go?Is everyone sending genital gazzes to each other?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:09,
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does it suit you?/dad joke
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:14,
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i'm still herebut I'm eating an soon I shall be doing house work. I'm also not getting any genital gazzes. :(
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:12,
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harsh - you'd hope that when you sent someyou'd at least get one back
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:14,
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I know right?I've sent them to every woman on this forum and not had one response. I think they are just intimidated or laughing too hard
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:15,
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the trick is to use a wide angle lensit makes things closer to the lens look considerably bigger
I think I might add a 'photographing your genitals for internet distribution' module to my course next year
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:17,
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There is certainly an art to itand looking down is not a flattering angle or so I tell myself I think if people had the guts you'd get quite a few customers.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:19,
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i wouldn't know where to start with lady bitsthey just aren't pretty at all and I don't suppose tit-shot quality really matters
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:22,
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Meh, they vary some are prettier than othersBut you'll find men are rarely judgemental.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:26,
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perhaps I shall replace the picture of my face on OKC with one of my lady bits, see how that goes
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:32,
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well, you'd get messages....tell you what, stick it in your profile here, i'm sure it's a much friendlier audience.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:38,
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I'll takethat as a complement
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:46,
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i didn't want to google'badly wrapped kebab'
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:47,
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and 'wizard's sleeve'would have just been pandering to my stereotype
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:48,
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I can remember when that was a decent make(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:03,
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oh wait! like a stereo, right?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:05,
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i'm kinda typecast as a larper, I think
perhaps I don't mean stereotype. Cliché perhaps? I've had too much vodka to think. Did you know stereotype and cliché come from typesetting?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:04,
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damn, deadpan sarcasm just does not work on the net.I knew about stereotype, but not cliche
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:05,
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probably works when I'm paying more attentionand not full of cold and vodja
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:07,
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the internet is not what is was(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:51,
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BT are riddled with incompetent fuckwits.It took me four months to get a phone line installed in a previous residence, because the engineer had been given an address 300 miles away and I couldn't get another one sent out because they thought the work had been completed; I even got billed (at the right address) for renting this non-existent line.
It didn't help that the call centre was staffed by barely literate retards - it took about four attempts to get them to understand the situation. In the end, a short sharp email describing it in one-syllable words did the job.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:12,
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No, that's not fair, they're not iliterate, it's more the fact that English was learnt purely for the basis of manning a call centre.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:25,
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It wasn't a foreign call centre.And everything bar that last email went in one ear and out the other - this suggests there was a major comprehension problem somewhere along the line.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:29,
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I changed to BT and had no problems.They're all just as bad as each other. It's just the luck of the draw.
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girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:35,
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I had a similar experience to Lighty but with ntlI think the problem was rooted in the fact the company looking after the network infrastructure were entirely separate from the service provider. They didn't set it up and had fuck all knowledge of what it could and couldn't do. Every time they got a callout from the ntl they'd show up, do the bare minimum in an attempt to resolve the issue then fuck off. They got paid regardless so they didn't care, they just wanted to get around as many as possible to fill some kind of quota.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:36, Reply)
i suspect it has more to do with theshitty demoralising nature of call centre work which values speed of calls over quality of calls
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 20:36,
Reply)
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