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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Wake The fuck up /OT!
you cannot all be having lives.

My Boy got 2nd place in the discus at his school sports day earlier, I am more proud of this than is reasonable. What are you disproportionately proud of?

Alt: Why don't they do Egg and Spoon Races any more? I bet it's down to David Cameron or Rupert Murdoch or some other cock-end with more money that morals.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:18, 265 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I am disproportionally proud
of my ability to cook. I'm really not all that, I'd never win Masterchef or anything, but I am rather immodest about it.

EDIT - and congrats to your boy. It bugs me that schools don't have proper sports with proper competing, all of this 'but losing will harm their emotional development' fuzzy bullshit really pisses me off.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:22, Reply)
Your scones were good.
Can't comment on the rest, but feel free to post me samples.
Also the jam was nice, was that home made?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:24, Reply)
Yes, the jam was home made
but there's no real secret to tasty jam, you just boil up fruit and sugar until jam happens: shop-bought jam (unless expensive) uses all the bits of manky fruit and too much sugar, which is why it's not as nice.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:26, Reply)
well, considering I'm not usually partial to strawberry, you did well lass.
I prefer damson, I'm going to have a damson jam and peanut butter sandwich now, *smugs*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:28, Reply)
I may make damson this year actually
as a mate of mine has a damson tree in his back garden. And possibly some damson gin.

How old is your son?
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:29, Reply)
the stuff I have is home made, although not by me.
it's so cute, the old lady who made it has written the ingredients on the side:
Sugar
Damsons.

He's 8.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:34, Reply)
Bless!
although she's right, that's all that goes in to jam really. 8 is still still a cute age, do you get to see him much?
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:41, Reply)
every other weekend and tuesday nights
And yes, still very cute and knows it. I'll stick a pic up on facebook later.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:43, Reply)
That counts as 'much'? :(

(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:45, Reply)
I don't know, about average as I understand it
It's fine, I love him to bits, and I think I do OK when I'm with him, but I don't think I'm really cut out to be a father full time.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:52, Reply)
You're quite right, he is a cute wee bugger.

(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:09, Reply)
gonna be quite the ladies man
If he keeps his charm, continues to look like his mother and does not succumb to Darthism
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:14, Reply)
Pffft
Succumb and Darthism. In the same sentence. Fnar.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)
I know it's the wrong age
but we quite often make competitions for students - they're meant to come in after their exams in the first year, so we bribe them with fun projects and prizes. Some of them really go for it. Otherwise I don't think many would turn up
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:44, Reply)
evening!
I am proud of the courgettes I grew. Shame I'm not up to cooking something ace with them.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:38, Reply)
Halve them
and grill them with goats cheese (if you like goats cheese) and some parma ham. Om nom nom.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:41, Reply)
i could totally handle that!
w00t - gonna buy goats cheese and parma ham tomorrow, unless cheddar cheese and morrisons sliced ham will do
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:42, Reply)
Eugh, no
spend a little and make the effort, woman! Besides, goats cheese goes all brown and crispy and mmmmm when you grill it.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:44, Reply)
it can be hard to make courgettes actually interesting but they're nice enough steamed or boiled
Failing that, you just gre your self some organic, biodegradable sex toys.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:42, Reply)
they are pretty small

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:42, Reply)
You could put them in a stirfry?

(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:44, Reply)
is this a thing you can do?
then perhaps I will do it

I usually fry them with tomatoes and onions and peppers and chorizo
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:46, Reply)
That sounds good!
there's a kind of spicy turkish sausage you can get called sucuk/sujuk, which is like chorizo only made of beef and not nearly as fatty - I imagine that would go very well with that dish. I don't know if you'd be able to get hold of it in the wildernesses of south wales, but it's worth a shot - it's bloody lovely.

You can also put courgette in bolognaise sauce etc.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:06, Reply)
I haven't made bolognaise in a millions years
I'll keep a look out for sucky sausage, though :)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:12, Reply)
like you're in a position to be picky.
and anyway, size isn't supposed to matter, I'm sure they have great senses of humour.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:44, Reply)
I'm struggling for a pun on marrow, here

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:47, Reply)

for a pun on +to insert a
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:54, Reply)
I hate you

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:55, Reply)

hate +admire +so hard it hurts
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:56, Reply)
I am disproportionally proud of my breasts.
And my ability to iron very quickly.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:47, Reply)
it's always good to be proud of things you grow yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:52, Reply)
I always make sure they're massaged as much as possible.
It helps them stay awesome you know.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:54, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:06, Reply)
how quickly?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:52, Reply)
Quickly enough that I don't get bored and leave half of it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:53, Reply)
I envy both things
although if I had your breasts I'd never leave the house.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:55, Reply)
It can be arranged but your work would suffer.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Not if you were able to retire on your sexual harrasment payout

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:57, Reply)
I might forget to eat

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:58, Reply)
We'll put you on a drip that feeds you all the nutrients you need to stay alive.
Sorted!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:59, Reply)
well, that's my life sorted then.
Sucks to be the rest of you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:00, Reply)
; )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:02, Reply)
My tolerance for caffeine
also probably mad chicken disease
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:52, Reply)
we only every had potato and spoon races at school
but I'm Northern, so, you know, eggs were probably a luxury or something
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:53, Reply)
Im southern
I did golf in school PE lessons
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:54, Reply)
and croquet? and polo?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Just golf
My g/f (Northern) insists this is the most ridiculously posh thing ever
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:04, Reply)
it really really is

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Keep in mind I went to a comprehensive school

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:07, Reply)
We didn't use real eggs.
They were made of plaster of paris or some such
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 19:59, Reply)
because the local hoodlums
would cause a ruccus with real ones?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:03, Reply)
I live in a slum (which is nicer than Hull)
I was not born here, I was educated in the leafy suburb of Penge.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:06, Reply)
That's London, right, cockney sparrow?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:07, Reply)
Outer London, yes
Seven miles further from bow bells than where I currently live.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:09, Reply)
If you've got goos ears, that counts
so how do you keep all those bottle tops on your jacket?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:10, Reply)
bottle tops?
I think you've smoked one too many leeks.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:11, Reply)
isn't that what you cockneys wear
jackets covered in bottle tops and funny hats?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:13, Reply)
Hahahah!
Buttons you nutter.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:14, Reply)
I thought it was a thing where yuo show off how many beers
you've had by sticking bottle caps on your coat
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:15, Reply)
This is like me accusing you of bumming goats, using a carrot as a strap-on.
close, but no cigar.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:16, Reply)
you can't bum a goat with a cigar, silly

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:16, Reply)
meaning it should be bumming a sheep with a leek
but, I won;t help you straighten you stereotypes out.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)
I know! that was the joke!
man, I'm speeding my tits off on cappuccino you can't keep up with dis shit
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)
cappucino?
Lightweight, next bash I'm force feeding you double espressos
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)
What's the b4sh inside gossip? Who was the biggest prick there?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)
Apart from you obviously

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)
lolol

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Everyone was loverly
and we all hugged and made friends. At a a push I would say Monty is a touch less ruggedly masculine than I had imagined, but other than that people were all very nice.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)
So, yes
probably me then.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)
This is just gay, hit me up with a gaz, I've got my matrix to fill in

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)
do you need a picture of my erect penis?
or does the Gaz system have another use?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
Yes to pass around tittle tattle behind peoples backs

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)
I'm actually considering calling your bluff on this
if only because I imagine no one ever actually does send cock gazs, sadly I have no idea how to do the attaching a picture thing.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
What happens on gaz, stays on gaz

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
We had trouble figuring out which poster you were at first

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)
yes
disappearing for a year and then comming back and almost immediately changing your name before going to a Bash can do this.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
Did he bring his rent boy FWB to show off?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
the rent boy is more recent
I didn't have him then.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
He's only fifteen man

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
fresh out of university
so a bit older I suspect and still not home. this is not good enough, my cock will not suck it's self.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)
Stop pretending ToryBoy is older than he is

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)
More like cockney pidgeon.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:09, Reply)
are you saying I'm fat?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:12, Reply)
with a manky leg

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:13, Reply)
and rabies

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)
and a piece of mouldy bread sticking
out of your scabby beak
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:21, Reply)
Not fat.
Sturdy and unbreakable.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:15, Reply)
but still shabby, a bit dirty
and probably deformed. sounds about right. :)
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)
I always like an underdog.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:25, Reply)
I have this weakness too
must be why I feel at home on /OT
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)
I think it'd be easiest to work out what I'm most embarrassed about
Then work backwards from there.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:00, Reply)
OK. What are you most embarrassed about?
and this question is for anyone who reads it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:01, Reply)
I'd rather not say
Anyway what sort of question is that to ask a young man?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:02, Reply)
I didn't ask a young man, I asked you

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:03, Reply)
Stop bullying him Cavey, it's his code for having a micropenis
It's perfectly natural, and having to piss sitting down would only be a minor inconvenience for TD
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)
At my age I welcome any chance for a nice sit down

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:22, Reply)
You think I'd tell you?
of all people. The score is still Quixote 1 - 0 Cavey and I'm not helping you get even.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:03, Reply)
it was worth a try

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Hello you!
How is work going?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:01, Reply)
OK - ish
Hard to measure progress really but I've already made more this month than I did last month which is the way I need to go.

I'd given myself six months to break even and I'm on course for that.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:05, Reply)
well done!
you've done better than my business did, then
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Good to hear!
Considering the current climate you can't ask for more than that.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:06, Reply)
The business model isn't as recession-proof as I'd thought
But yes, I'm quietly confident.

The price structure I'd set seems about right. I need about eight - ten more regular clients before I'm on course, but I've already got five in seven weeks trading.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:11, Reply)
What is your business ?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Property Inventories
Working with Letting Agents.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:31, Reply)
Hey TD
Watch BBC2 at 9pm.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)
Yes I know
Might be one for the i-player.

I can very vaguely remember it but it must have been incredible to have been there.

Whenever you go to Headingley everyone claims they were.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)
wait are you in leeds?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:40, Reply)
Yes
I'm waiting...
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)
Do you fancy a pint?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Well not right at this moment.
I think this has been considered before and if you can think of a suitable time/place I'm all ears.

Not literally, y'understand.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:45, Reply)
It's the same as all cabbies in London claiming to have been in the Blind Begger when Jack The Hat got murdered by the Krays.
Oddly, they change their story to 'well, it was one of my mates' when you ask them if being a 1960s rent-boy was lucrative.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)
Bristol on film
Now on BBC 3
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:40, Reply)
I'm not even going to turn over as I suspect this is some sort of joke.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)
Be cheery for once
if only to annoy Rory
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:01, Reply)
I am a cheery guy
with the utmost respect for Rory.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:06, Reply)
That's you and Monty then.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:12, Reply)
Rory does a nice line in irony
And I enjoy irony.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)
I'm fast at irony.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)
If I rang you when you were ironing
Would you burn your ear?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:24, Reply)
No, I don't take the phone with me to the attic where I iron.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:26, Reply)
Plus you're not Stevie Wonder.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)
The image this conjoured up made me laugh more than it should
I am a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)
What's black and screams...?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
The housekeeper in Thomas and Jerry

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)
And what's the fastest vehicle on land?
Stevie Wonders' speedboat.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)
I lifted a tree trunk over my head once when we went camping

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:06, Reply)
The joys of Bonsai

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:07, Reply)
zing!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:07, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:08, Reply)
Daniel san lol

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:08, Reply)
When you went camping, is it fair to say you spent some time on the beech?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)

I'm teaching my boss koi koi. Japanese lols
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:15, Reply)
isn't that a fish?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:17, Reply)
Two fish

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)
one cup

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)
no suger.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)
OK sweetie

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:21, Reply)
I'm inordinately proud of my mad skills with a scrapbook.
And to answer Cavy's question above, I'm embarrassed by my rather pathetic need for validation : (
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)
Calender......now.........
I've put the right date on now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)
I hadn't realised you'd put the wrong date on it before...
All signed up now.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)
Weeee!
You'll be totally bashing it up soon.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)
I'm all signed up hon, hopefully we'll avoid falling out before this one xxx

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:45, Reply)
Hahahahaha!
I'll try to be nice.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Fuck b3ths coming :(
She hates me
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)
only cos you're a cunt

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)
We don't have to talk, but you coming might make the others uncomfortable, have a think about that

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:55, Reply)
Considering the whole point of the bash is for Jeff and Blousie to take me on the pier
I'm hardly going to pull out.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)
Fine then, ruin the whole day for all of us

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
hahaha
I'm going to rent a mini-bus for the day and get some 'Variety Club - Sunshine Coaches' livery made up for it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)
If you have a back loader on it it'll totally look the part with 'Scope' stickers on it

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)
And I'll be able to take up two parking spaces, or at least complain to people who've parked too close.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:02, Reply)
Cool, the biggest looking scoper gets a prize

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)
Well, that'll probably be me
I usually look like a f=right fucking spacker in photos.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
I'll buy them a ice-cream that they can unitard themselves with.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)
My kitten's breath smells like cat food.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:12, Reply)
I bent my Wookie.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
Don't be mean to Rory.
He can spend some time under the pier, it'll make a nice change from being stuck under his bridge!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
I'm nice to everyone, Jeff.
I was well brought up and that.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I tend to be miserable most of the time.
This saves people from having to put up with me being moody at any point.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)
I'm very good at not being good at anything.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)
You're very good at being American.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
she sucks at that
she drinks tea and gets irony and other non-redneck things
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)
All Americans drink tea

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
They think they do
Maybe I have misjudged you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
No. They drink sugary brown wankwater with the word "tea" rather disingenuously printed on the can.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
That shit's nasty, Shambles.
I don't buy loose leaves and stir them through the mug like a limp wristed nancy either.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:55, Reply)
Loose leaves are where it's at, Kristabella.
Bags are the work of satan. Full leaf. None of your chopped up bitter rubbish. Tea. Nom nom fucking nom nom tea.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Tea.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
I only drink twinings irish breakfast from tea bags.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I bet you support the IRA and everything.
Terrible terrible business.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)
You can have a go on my tea bags
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:03, Reply)
Srs, they're probs not very nice

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:03, Reply)
you'd betta wash yar silly boy

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
much as it pains me to agree with you
I must. I had thought K drank the real stuff I guess I was wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Why does it pain you to agree with me?
Agreeing is good. Agreeing is what got us to the moon.

That and a paranoid fear of COMMUNISM.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)
because you generally appear to be a cunt
thus I become a cunt by association.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
but he's smart, see
he's a doctor
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)
Yeah?
What kind?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)
a chaotic one

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)
Neither of these denote inteligence
Much less lack of cuntiness
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
an internet doctor

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)
You mean I don't pander to the fey and the wet? The weak and the lily-livered?
The wearisome fucking worryworts and beakering self-pitying human tragedies that have turned b3ta from a charmingly amateurish comedy website into a support group homeopathic fucking weep-in for the emotionally incapable?

Yeah. You have a point. Fair enough. You wouldn't want to be tarred with that brush. You'd have no chance of one of the wrecks on here sending you a picture of their tits or arsehole.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)
if it's so terrible
why are you here?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Nobody said it was terrible.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)
would you like a little cry?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)
I'll probably have one on monday, if that's all right with you.
I intend to do large quantities of omgdrugs over the weekend and then sprinkle diazepam on a massive bowl of angel delight to recover.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
butterscotch?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)
Fuck yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
What sort of nonce cries into a bowl of strawberry or banana?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)
I thought the boys sent the pictures of their bumholes. I am so out of the loop here.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)
i need to get snapping, too

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)
Different strokes for different folks.
Hence the different boards.

Which you seem unable to grasp.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:12, Reply)
he's winding you all up

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
He's certainly trying to

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)
what's the point in calling him a cunt?
it's just a waste of time, he's not going anywhere until he wants to
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)
I'm going to a festival this weekend.
I'll be out of their hair for four whole days. With luck, they'll calm down enough for their voices to drop to a human-audible register.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)
cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck
oh, soz, meant hope you have a good time! lol!
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:24, Reply)
Thank you, you dreadful fucking colonial.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)
WE OWN THEM NOW!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Yeah right.
China owns everything. You're just renting until they turf you out to make space for the yellow race.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)
lacist

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:38, Reply)
I'm not expecting him to
and the point of calling him a cunt is two-fold:
1) he is a cunt
2)it passes the time, like all the pointless banter on here ans is mildly entertaining.
I'm lived on internet message boards far nastier than even /talk for far far too long to take trolls seriously, and on the troll scale he's not even all that nasty.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Oh for crying out loud.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1287852
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)
Does nobody know the difference between flaming and trolling any more?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:28, Reply)
hehe, nice work, quixote
you totally trolled the troll
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:31, Reply)
Yes. That's exactly what just happened.
It totally wasn't an example of somebody not knowing what a troll is while making a bravado post about their internet cojones.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)
oh dear
OK, I'll rise to it.

to quote your earlier linked WIkipedia artical: "In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory[citation needed], extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response"

this is clearly what you are doing, not totally without success.

as for internet cojones, not really, I'd claim some experience with far worse than you, enough not to get wound up, but no more.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)
Again, I must agree with Herr Docktor Fuckwit
I didn't troll him, I'm not trying to make him angry or wind him up.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:34, Reply)
(I said that to wind him up, too)

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)
Ah, sorry Cavey
been drinking (nearly a whole pint of fruity cider!) and I'm being dense.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Yay
Look I gots one too!
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1287986
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:45, Reply)
you're point?
OK, the two terms have gotten rather conflated of late, but I'd argue coming over here to be a tit constitutes fairly gentle trolling and you chosen method is indiscriminate flaming. it might actually be worth while if "I raped your mother today" was not a perfectly acceptable replacement for "good morning" on even the fluffy parts of b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1287894
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:34, Reply)
something of a non sequiter old boy
either I'm being dense or you're being unclear.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:36, Reply)
He'll get bored and piss off eventually.
They all do.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:34, Reply)
meh, he will if we stop talking to him

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:36, Reply)
We all now that's not going to happen.
And I'm hardly going to leave after eight years because a couple of blue-namers have had a whimper at me.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 22:21, Reply)
I am aware of what he's trying to do.
I just wish he was funny with it. At least Rory can be witty with his wind ups.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
OMG RLLY?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:17, Reply)
No.
Rory.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Occasionally

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)
I'm not going to lower my brow far enough for you to find it funny, you thick cunt.
No offence like.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)
None taken you tedious arsewipe.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Shit. Really?
I must have missed the bit of the FAQ that said we had to take eggshell steps on the qotw sob-artistes.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
See above.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)
No, I mean what I say
you generally apear to be a cunt. it's m=not like it''s even an uncommon opinion
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)
yup
we've already got our pet troll we don't need another
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
Oh man. You mean they don't let you choose who posts here? Those vicious fucks.
Also: you win today's noob award. Collect your porcelain pug on the way out.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)
yay

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

*is well jealous*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)
There's still a secret draw for the Thatcher toby jug.
Don't give up hope.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)
wow
I'm going on eBay to see if these exist. if they do I'm buying one, shitting in it and gazing pics to FreeFare
Edit: Bugger, they do exist but I am not spending £25 on one, for all my love of Thatcher
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:27, Reply)
This^
Rory may be a cunt but he's our cunt
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)
I don't drink it enough to need to buy whole leaves.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
This is useful
www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A61345
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)
you should know that it's 39 deg c here
so, there's absolutely no chance of me drinking and/or enjoying a cup of tea unless it's sweet iced tea
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:03, Reply)
North Africans and Indians drink hot tea.
Iced tea is only fit for soaking your feet after a long walk in new shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
That's what I meant.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)
hot tea cools you down

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)
This sounds very much like complete bollocks.
But feel free to improve my grasp of thermodynamics.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)
are you crazy?
I just don't see how, if you drink warm water it makes you hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)
It raises your body temperature
so there is less difference between your internal and external temperatures. Therefore you don't feel so hot.

Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)
It's a thing British mums tell their kids
or something. Tea is brilliant for all occassions, though. It's pretty good in vodka
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)
Don't you mean Vodka is pretty good in tea?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
not so much

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)
that's why I like you

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
I had this cup of tea once, and I spilt it all over my knackers
that wasn't my immediate first thought
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
Your first thought was who's going to suck this tea of my balls wasn't it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Nope.
I know nothing of politics, or the current war or anything that's going on outside of my own daily life.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Precisely!
You're a fantastic American.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
this post has made me angry but I don't know why

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
Not enough iodine in the water.
Somebody call the CIA.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
You're always getting angry.
Take a chill pill and relax.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
I'm not the only one.
I've only just said it's made me angry. I didn't say anything rude.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:54, Reply)
Spastics are great at discus.
It's the spazzed up arms.

Well done to your spastic. Back-of-the-hand applause.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Don't you have two lovely little girls to put to bed?
Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
They're in bed.
Don't you have a [insert something I might have remembered about your life if I cared] to fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
Well I'm glad you don't remember.
You'll have less ammunition to try and upset me online with.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:54, Reply)
Why would I want to upset you online if I don't even remember who you are?
Have I unintentionally upset you before?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:55, Reply)
No.
You're like a over zealous machine gun spraying out rounds of crap insults, hoping that you'll hit someone.

You're not the first to wander over here and try your luck and no doubt you won't be the last.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I haven't the faintest fucking clue what you are on about.
Would you like me to humour you for a while so that you can convince yourself you're being terribly mature and internet savvy?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)
Nah! don't bother.
Neither of us care.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)
Well you clearly do otherwise you wouldn't still be pecking away like a myopic hen.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)
Same could be said for you.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)

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