Well, enough of that misery and cuntism
Let's talk about something happy, shall we?

Tell me about the best day of your life.

Alt: What toys of our youth are today's kids missing out on? It strikes me they'll never know the joy of opening a fresh box of fuzzy felt. Poor, hard done by childrens.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:01, 142 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Fuck off.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

You an' all, you rancid excuse for a human.
What's pissed on your drugs today?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Asylum seekers.
The fucking cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Give them directions to Arkham
and tell them to fuck off.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Alt: my brother went to buy his godson some toy soldiers.
There were none in the toy shop - there's no call for them any more, he was told. There's always a call for toy soldiers for fuck's sake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Bit by bit
Torn apart
We never win
But the battle wages on
For toy soldiers
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Sorry

( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Can I have your address please?
I need to post you a bot-dog.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Should I ask what a bot-dog is?
I'm scared
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

It's a shit in a baguette.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Can I get mustard with that?

( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Mus-turd LOL!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Really?
The proper tin ones, or those little green plastic ones? Cos we see loads of the plastic ones at boot sales.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

We still have thousands - lots of plastic ones, but also some hand painted lead ones
which were our uncle's. They are wicked.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I'm guessing you sucked a lot of the lead ones.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I'm guessing you sucked a load of real soldiers in exchange for nylons during WWII

( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

You're very cheeky now you're getting laid regularly, aren't you?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I wouldn't call 3 times (as of last night) in four and a half months regular!
I'm always cheeky though. I bet back then you were happy to swallow just to get something warm in your belly.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Clearly there isn't.

( Kroney, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

And cap guns.
Don't forget cap guns.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I read that as Anal cap guns

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Perhaps he'll pop a cap in your ass
Or something
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

The best day of my life was when my entire family were killed in tragic circumstances
Everyone I ever cared about was murdered by a crazed autistic from the internet and I found out I had caught aids, from a blood transfusion though, I'm not a bummer and I don't use public toilets or share drinking glasses with poofs.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

The best day in my life was the day I finally realised
that every single human is selfish, cuntish, inconsiderate arsehole and deserves to be treated as though they were beneath contempt until they prove otherwise.

Never been happier.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I know what you mean
Realising that you don't have to pander to a bunch of arseholes is incredibly liberating.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Golliwoggs

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

you are mr b3th AICMFP

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Shhhhh
You can't call them that today! You have to call them niggerwogs or something I can't remember
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

You're clearly not trying hard enough
tinyurl.com/3n9x6cx
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

THAT'S RACIST!!!!11!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

He's allowed to be, he's a Chinky.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Ch!nky?
I thought that was on the banned word list?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Nah because its only called chinky cos of the takeaways innit

( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

That's what I thought.
Still, no harm done.

Were there any complaints?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

he IS ginger
apparently
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Alt: proper Transformers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

You mean Bumblebee that doesn't look like it's laid down on wet paint?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Exactly
and a Megatron that turns into a fucking gun
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

and the one that turns into a tape recorder
who has two mates that turn into tapes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

And Optimus Prime isn't massive because his trailer turns in to a base
And ultra magnus is the same robot as optimus just painted all white.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Soundwave
or possibly Blaster. They both had several mates who turned into tapes.

I can probably still name them all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Do they still have the fire engine one?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Inferno?
He was a fucking shit toy. Wouldn't stand up.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

my brother had a train one
which was really tricky to do. We used to have races to see who could transform them quickest
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Probably Astrotrain
He was a triple-changer, which in every single case I encountered meant "wouldn't stand up"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I think DJ had the fire engine, one caleld Hot Rod, and a few more.
I got more into his MOTU figures than the Transformers. I couldn't transform them. Curse you, spaz-hands!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I had Hot Rod
and a Stegosaurus one from the subsequent Dinobots spin off.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Snarl
God, this is tragic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)

my ex had a Rock Lord
"Quick, bad guys approaching! Transform into....a boulder"

lame
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:18, Reply)

rumble, laserbeak, and ravage were certainly some of them

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Indeed
Soundwave also had Frenzy, Buzzsaw and Ratbat

Blaster had Erase, Rewind, Steeljaw and... another one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Without Googling:
Ravage
Rumble
Laserbeak
Other one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

You mean the ones Vipros already named?
*standing ovation*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)

GET TAE FACK
It wasn't there when I posted
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Alt. Mine Shafts
When I were a lad this was all mine shafts and none of them ever killed me when we used to jump over them, My friend once broke her ankle but fuck her she was stupid. Anyway bring back mine shafts or at least take the stupid caps off the existing ones, ruining all the fun for this kids of today. My Daughter has fuzzy felt though. Oh and if she asks for a pair of Lelli Kelly shoes I will kick her so fucking hard she won't be able to sit for a month.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Should I even ask what those shoes are?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Lelli Kelli are a fucking evil shoe manufacturer
Who make shit shoes for young girls and they advertise them on kids TV as "The coolest fucking shoes in the world girls!" Put gimmicks like swappable straps on they and then charge £50 a pair! Fuck that and fuck them! My daughters will have Clarks because they fit right and last.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Alt: The toys of my youth are fucking shit in comparison to modern toys.
Did you see they re-released Big Trak? All that's done is proven how crude they were.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Alt:
www.prices4antiques.com/games/board-games/Board-Game-McLoughlin-Brothers-Watermelon-Patch-1896-D9856512.htm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Probably the day when my Dad sneeked me out of hospital and took me to harrods and I could see the christmas lights of oxford street and I got the softest most comfortable jumper on the entire planet, that I still have.
We got it 2 sizes too big because I had a canular in my arm and it drowned me, but it was so comfortable. I *think* I also got an N64 game, which I took into hospital with me. That's right, it was Goldeneye, it had just come out. I can't remember 100% because the same sort of thing happened 6 times in total over my young teens and all the best bits have turned into one awesome day, both including the first potato thing after the forumlar, and the massive contradiction of going to this amazing posh resturant that they wouldn't have let me in (because of what I was wearing) if it wasn't for the drip in my arm. But there are a few common things with each time, like seeing the stunning view of London that they have, and I truely believe the royal free has the best view of london there is, you can see the whole of london at night with the twinkling lights on all the tall buildings.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

My 21st birthday was pretty amazing. Pub golf with about 20 friends.
To say the best day ever, that'd likely be the day I spent in bed with a girl I adored.

As for the number of "best day of my life" occasions I've had, there's loads of them!

Hmm, I'll just list:
The first time I saw Metallica. (They played Master Of Puppets in it's entirety)
Going to the British Museum, Tower Records, Lego store, etc.
Getting drunk in Temple Bar.
The day I moved in with my best friend.
My high school leavers do.
Seeing Ross Noble, and being on his DVD.
Watching England tear New Zealand apart at Old Trafford.
May 25th, 2005.
The day we went to Alton Towers, and didn't have to queue for anything.
etc
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

What's pub golf?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

gay drinking game

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Very gay
Round here they do the Dirty 30 where they have to do all 30 pubs in Falmouth and the surrounding area. They all drink shot and halfs like a bunch of pansys and suck each other off in the bogs
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

drinking games are shit
unless they are based mainly on luck

like the one where you flip a coin and the person has to call it. if they get it wrong you spin the coin on the table and they have to drink for as long as it spins.

and even that one is pretty shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

The only drinking game I have even enjoyed was a particular bout of I have never played at Bath Uni in 2002
Because I got to find out the a particularly fit girl was VERY adventurous in the bedroom department and after the game was over she proved it was all true.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

That's The Royal Marines for you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I know I'm predictable here
but we once did a role playing pub crawl. You all get to be a certain character class and have to drink accordingly/do certain thing in each pub. You got points for different drinks and the 'refs' could turn you into an Australian if you were a dick (you had to drink australian drinks and talk in an australian accent)

I was an assassin - I had to drink only black drinks and try and sneak smarties into peoples' drinks without them noticingq
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

That actually sounds quite entertaining.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Other characters were:
halflings: can only drink halves, must eat something in every pub
Wizards: must drink cocktails, points for making specific cocktails (which had keys in and things)
Clerics: can only drink spirits, get points for sneaking water into other peoples' drinks

I'm sure there were others, but I was very, very drunk
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:41, Reply)

This sounds fun.
I approve.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I chose 9 pubs, and set a par for each
The par is the number of swigs you are allowed per drink. So say, if you were in a par 5 pub, and you finished in 3 swigs, your score for that pub would be -2.

We would spend about 45 mins in each pub, getting sloshed.

There are hundreds of different rules for it though, depends on how you fancy playing it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

9?
Even fucking gayer! 18 Holes in pub golf.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Don't think there is 18 pubs in Congleton I would want to drink in tbh.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Was May 25th 2005 when you finally faced up to being a hideous fucking tranny?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

No.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I honestly have no idea what the best day of my life was
I've had a number of good ones though, mostly to do with Mrs V.

or massive drugs.

alt: lego isn't what it used to be, with all these moulded parts with one use.

The old lego castle I had didn't have horses for the knights, you had to make the horses out of normal lego bits.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

The best day of my life? Hmmmmm
Well I've had a wedding day and watch the miracle of childbirth twice but if I had to think really hard about what the best day of my life was I think it would have to be July 21st 2011 because I told my wife to preorder me Star Wars The Old Republic and she did.
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

It's incredibly sad
but my wedding day probably has to rank as one of the best days of my life. Almost all of the people I love in one place, having a great laugh. And I got to wear a fancy dress, too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

my oldest mate's wedding day is right up there in my best days

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

My wedding day pretty awesome
My father in law and brother in law got in to a fight in the car park and I got to ride in a horse and carriage and get wasted AND have AMAZING SEX!
( Peej, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

dammit!
I knew there was something we forgot.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Where was your wife while you were doing all this?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I like this

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:29, Reply)

i suppose mine was, too
but it's hard to look at it with much fondness now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

So close to rolling a double six :(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

double natural 20 was better

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I will consult the elders of herofest on this

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

What do you do with felt?
Best day of my life...? Yet to come I feel. Thus far though, day I went walking through a hoar frost. Magical.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

you get little shapes of felt
in different colours and stick them on another big piece of felt to make pictures
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

A hoar frost?
What is?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

you dumbass

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

This is a hoar frost
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/155025_1710323474860_1141290595_1906238_444112_n.jpg
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Thank you.
I didn't know it was called that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I don't remember if it was Noel or me who took that.
I have a feeling it was me. I crawled through a hedge.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

And this is a frosty hoar
news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41033000/jpg/_41033716_whitewitch.jpg

And here's another
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

for a second there I was worried
it was going to be the picture of me as an ice queen. BUt hat's because I'm narcissistic
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Haha, I'll keep that in mind!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Now I have to find it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:43, Reply)

it's my profile pic on coll3ctive

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Did the air conditioning break at your college or something?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

nah this was in England.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

*sharp intake of breath*
You've never played with fuzzy felt????
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Nup. Never.
I have sewed with it though. Does that count?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

felt and fuzzy felt are two very
different beasts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

my apologies.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Not sure if I can pinpoint the best
but several come close - plucking up the courage to drop a 40ft cliff on a snowboard, seeing AC/DC live for the first time, 3 people from the front, buying my first flat, being told I had a big penis, finding a rock bar in Angel that sells Brooklyn Lager on tap and the barmaids laugh at my jokes.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Was the person calling you a big penis the 4th from the front?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I don't get this
Sorry Chompy, feeling a bit slow today :'(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)

reacharoundlols

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)

is it bad that I have no idea when the best day of my life was?
seriously, days all merge into one and change with nostalgia and hindsight.

I wasn't reallly a toy kid - more craft sets, you know like weaving looms and marquetry. People always bought me joke books, too.

I think fuzzy felt still exists
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Tell us a joke then.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

look in the mirror.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I don't get it?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

made us laugh

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I still don't get it?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I'm implying if you look at yourself in the mirror you will laugh.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

*tries it*
You are right.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)

after the effort I had to put into my fish joke last night?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I missed that.
I am sure it was very funny.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

it was fucking hilarious

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Aside from the birth of my kids
I'd have to choose a day from a few years back on a cricket weekend down south with my old team. I captained the side during the big Sunday afternoon match, scored my first ever 50 (actually went on to score 72). Went out that night, got pissed, and shagged a really tidy young lady.

I had to go into hospital later that week to have the smile surgically removed from my face.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

disneyland as a kid was pretty fucking spectacular
first day on our post-a-level 18 year old 2 week piss-up holiday in corfu was amazing

it's a small thing, but the day i passed my driving test and got to drive my shiny red ultra-cool BEETLE around was pretty fucking wicked

champagne catamaran cruise around grenada last july was special

watching the volcano at stromboli light up the night sky

lying on a blanket with the boy at kew gardens in the sunshine last weekend watching the mini wild parrots (well, i was. he was listening to the bloody cricket with one ear. then again, i secretly quite enjoy whinging about bloody men and bloody sport, so.)

god, loads and loads of things!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Actually, day I got my licence was pretty good.
Red cars are the best. Everybody knows this.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

is it true that they have a higher insurance quote
because they are involved in more accidents? or is this URBAN MYTH?

vipros?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

No idea.
Mine's lower anyway because I'm a girl.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Urban myth

( Kroney, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)

It thure ith

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I had to give a best man speech in front of 200 Americans a few years back.
I was absolutely bricking it beforehand. Shaking, sweaty palms, the whole lot. The groom, his new wife, the groomsmen and the matron of honour (Americans...) didn't think I was going to make it.

I did though and it was the best wedding speech the groom said he had ever heard. People laughed in the right places and everything. I'd also managed to pleasantly surprise the bride, who was convinced I was going to make awful jokes about god-knows-what and hideously embarrass her.

It is the first, and I'm determined it'll be the last, best man's speech that I shall ever make.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)

my friend's brother had exactly this
about 400 americans at a massive golf club society type place in maryland. just before the speeches, he was taken to one side and warned that they were pretty conservative and easily offended. his speech as drafted began:

"it's traditional that the best man's speech should last as long as the groom will last in bed tonight. so - cheers [sit down]".

it got less and less suitable the more he went through his notes. he ended up thanking everyone for coming and sitting back down...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Everybody was really worried that I would be telling inappropriate stories
and so on. The groom and I have a very similar sense of humour, the only difference being that I have a better sense of when to stop.
( Kroney, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Winning the 'Man of the Moment' award as voted for by readers of TV Quick, in September 2004.
More recently, being voted as the suavest man in York, by residents of the special school.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Window Licker In Chief

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)

One of my favourite records ever.
Hasn't aged at all.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

/montylols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Best Day
(bar the kids, wedding, etc.) was 1st day at Glastonbury in 2000. Amazing weather, shedloads of beer/drugs and good music with your mates.

Alt:
LEGO all the way. I have all mine in the loft, ready for when the kids have passed their Duplo apprenticeship and can be trusted with it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Space lego?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Space Lego and Technic

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Brilliant.
I had loads of this stuff and my Mum gave it away to some window licker that lived up the street.

He was rushed to hospital the following day after consuming more of it than was good for him!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Alt: I don't think today's kids are missing out on any toys
They have some pretty cool stuff of their own and despite all the talk of Transformers not being as good as they used to be ^up there, a lot of toys are a lot better than they used to be - my son's lightsabre, for example, is much better than the torch with translucent white tube attached that I had as a kid.
Plus, not being the same age as you, they do not have any nostalgia for the crap toys you used to play with. If you really think they need the toys you had as a child it is not hard to find them on this new-fangled internet thingy. Just don't be surprised when they are not as excited about them as you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)