Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Everyone had got sick of Monty nowso lets talk about something else.
This morning I started watching Scream 4, because I'm really into film.
What did you start doing this morning?
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:22, 232 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
it's funny because he believes it's mutual(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:30,
Reply)
Sleeping.Didn't get to sleep until gone 3, not a good idea.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:24,
Reply)
Started ripping a film.Because I'm into film, but not the monolithic capitalist hegemony, yo.
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:24,
Reply)
It seemsthat I've started posting on here.
Won't last, probably.
I am not Bert,(I don't have a sister) or that Edmund chap.
I also do not have a Honda Accord (or a horse outside.)
I am a boring, very old Scot who has little to offer other than my presence.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)
You've also managed to get your first post in the wrong placecongratulations.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)
Hi, well thanks for making your first post hang beneath minelike a slightly too large to be ignored clagnut.
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:32,
Reply)
If you're a Scot, how come you're not drunk?Edit: Sorry, of course you're drunk, I mean "sober enough to operate a keyboard"
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:34,
Reply)
PhudbreeAw'right neebs, I'm frae Fife.
No, I am not a farmer.
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djtrialprice, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:41,
Reply)
I knew thatfrom all the lovely conversations you have with your sister.
So you don't grow totties?
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Skunk stinksand you get lots of smelly students hanging around outside.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:58, Reply)
Do we have lovely conversations?I don't remember any lovely conversations.
I remember a lot of meanness and abuse. And refusal to pay up on debts.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:00,
Reply)
I'm getting the distinct feeling you are not a new person.My spider sense is tingling.
/worst Malibu Stacey doll ever
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
I ama long time lurker.
Even then, some of the memes are waaaay beyond me.
If I was a puppet, you'd see the strings
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:18, Reply)
Bonjour(that's Scottish, right?)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:35,
Reply)
Us against drunk men in skirts and the Scottish.This is funny because the French are wine-drinking woofters.
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:39,
Reply)
listening to Metricbecause I love that song in SPvTW and apparently it's originally by Metric and not that chick in the movie that plays Envy, and so I've found I quite like them
I think I'm getting tired now
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:28,
Reply)
I started laughting at the confusing mix of tenses in your subject line.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:29,
Reply)
He's laughing because he can see himself on your forehead.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:34,
Reply)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=URSGpy6H-3g
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:34,
Reply)
It's a cross bewtween australian and saffer.Taking the most undesirable elements of both accents.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)
the apostrophe is also not al's friendtoday
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:30,
Reply)
An apostrophe is the difference between a business that "know its shit" and "knows it's shit"(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:36,
Reply)
Sleepingit was really nice. Finished Dark City as well which was amazing, because I am also into film
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:35,
Reply)
The countdown to the weekend.I have fizzy Vimto. I got quite excited when I realised it was fizzy and not still.
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girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:37,
Reply)
No, I don't know why either.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:41,
Reply)
It's yeast-related, I think.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:43,
Reply)
badum-tsch.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
you love it really.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
drawing a pretty picture of the blood manufacture processfor a poster. I'm so rock and roll.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:43,
Reply)
politicians have very short attention spanstherfore explaining a poster in 2 minutes is better than talking at them for 20.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:46,
Reply)
and with that, I'm off to talk at some academicsbecause they can sit still for 45 mins without Ritalin.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:47,
Reply)
I got told a 5 or 6 line answer to a parlimentary question was too detailed.(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:56, Reply)
They have to make up for not being usefully employedby sticking things with glue.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:47, Reply)
Aw, man, we've got powerpoint and A0 printers nowWe're living the dream, Al.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:48,
Reply)
I started thinking of lolarious things to say on OffTopic todayResults have been underwhelming
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:45, Reply)
I was going to sayhave a go at me because I'm new.
But people might misunderstand.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:55, Reply)
Watch out, he'll try to touch your winkle.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:58,
Reply)
His 'puppies' are a real disappointment.Looked more like a pustulent, scabrous penis to me. I'm no dog expert but I am pretty sure he wasn't being entirely straight with me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:01,
Reply)
lol straightthat was almost funny, Monty.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:03,
Reply)
I'm the nice oneYou'll have to get your masochistic kicks elsewhere
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:04, Reply)
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelingsFUCK OFF BERT
Is that better?
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Butit wouldn't be true, so I couldn't do that.
Nobody tells lies on the internet, everybody knows that.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:16, Reply)
I started cleaning the kitchenPretty much finished now. I mean, I haven't cleaned the floor or anything, but that can fuck right off.
This afternoon I'm going into town to order my wonderful new sexy librarian glasses. I am very excited about this.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
haha i just saw that i am top of the popular boardpurely for taking a cheap shot at psychochomp because he is LOLignoring me.
this may well say more about his UNpopularity than it does about my popularity, but it is still sweet sweet validation. OR that darth is just wearing out his finger clicking away.
either which way, i must think of even moar childish jibes...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
your medical advice is up there with your petcare(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:19,
Reply)
my fanny is in great health thoughwhereas your poor cat died in agony because you were selfish enough to get one whilst living on a main road. you probably terrified and devastated the driver too. no LOLZ for you.
i think you were somehow allowed to breed. better make sure that their mother helps THEM cross the road, eh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:34,
Reply)
Boo hooI'm ever so distraught. I think I might POUND my keyboard in a distressed frenzy.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)
You've taught me that it's possible to wank and click simultaneously(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:08, Reply)
thanks for the complimentbut i am pretty sure that the internet taught you that long, long before i came on the scene.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:10,
Reply)
I'm also starting writing a new, better C.V.for two jobs I would quite like. It's still making me moan just how sparse my C.V. is though
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:07,
Reply)
I've been contacted about a job that pays megabucks and is just down the road from mebut for which I am woefully under-qualified and under-experienced.
I am trying to figure out if it's even worth applying to or if I'm not even going to get as far as being laughed out of an interview.
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:12,
Reply)
DependsWho contacted you about it? If it was an employment agency, you might as well. If it was your Mum, perhaps not.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:16, Reply)
Employment agencies know nothing about techie stuff.He saw my CV, saw "IT" and contacted me.
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
I'd go for it anyway if I were youThe only downside I can see is that your current employer finds out and throws a hissy fit.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:20, Reply)
A lot of places over spec their required nowso they can say to people with B.O. or fat people or whatever that they don't want them.
They'll accept someone who doesn't have the qualifications who isn't you know "weird"
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:23, Reply)
That's me fucked right up the arse, then./fat, smelly and weird blog
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
They could knock four grand off because of that and still pay me more than I currently earn.It's a real tempter. Outside my comfort-zone, though.
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
Fuck off you fat weird cunt, why don't you just kill yourself yeah?(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)
Amberl, you're straight out of universityExactly how full do you expect your CV to be? The fact that you've graduated from Oxford should be enough for most employers.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
Well it's for a researcher position for an mpand most of the candidates will have work experience with the relevant political party
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:36,
Reply)
Is this where you accuse me of supporting UKIP again?(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:55,
Reply)
Counting the hours until Thursday.That's when I finish for a long weekend and can stop pretending to be the boss while the boss is off.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
Can't fucking wait.Having a beverage in that London with a sexy bitch en route to Cambridge as well.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:28,
Reply)
WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!!Just hold the fuck up a minute, you're having drinks in London and you didn't call to ask me what my plans were?
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:32, Reply)
You'll be in workAnd you're not a sexy bitch.
I'm meeting one of my homegirls.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:34,
Reply)
It's almost as if she doesn't give a shit what you're doing, Al.How rude.
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Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:35,
Reply)
he never entered my head, Kroneybut sssh, he'll get all quilty about it
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:36,
Reply)
I was being funnyI was saying that I hoped you were seeing your bloke because I have plans.
\chompys
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djtrialprice, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:34,
Reply)
I predict a weekend of you watchingmy flatmate and I playing Portal 2.
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djtrialprice, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:36,
Reply)
You could always go for a drink with mewhile him and his flatmate are entering each others portals.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:44, Reply)
I was kind of hoping that maybe someone would play Portal 2 with me too, but it's only two player and DJ already has a friend to play with him so I can't play two player with anyone.Nobody will play Portal 2 multiplayer with me, I don't get what's so wrong with me, why people think I'm such a disgusting human being.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:48,
Reply)
Awww Gonz, if I had Portal 2 I would play two player portal with you.(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:50, Reply)
I'll be in Canterburyso why don't we split the difference and meet in London?
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Whilst you're there you wouldn't mind killing my ex's mum, would you?Thanks awfully.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:53,
Reply)
Yeah surethere will be a few b3tans there so we can all take it in turns giving her a kick.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:55, Reply)
In the cunt, please.Thanks.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:55,
Reply)
I'm not going back to London 'til Monday to catch my train(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:56,
Reply)
Looks like you're going to be pretty bored all weekend then doesn't it.(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:03, Reply)
I thought it was funnybut then, I'm a bit quicker on the uptake than your lady.
For example, I would never walk around with frazzles in my pocket.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:35, Reply)
Very much thisAfter waking up on that beanbag the first thing I did was check my pockets.
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djtrialprice, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:37,
Reply)
Forward planning, dj?Blimey! Is there time for punting?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:32,
Reply)
I'm so unobservantYou may remember me mentioning yesterday that our building got broken into, I thought they had broken into one office, but no, it turns out that every door on my corridor got kicked in apart from mine!
And I didn't notice this yesterday.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:31, Reply)
Are you wearing your cornflower blue tie today?(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:37,
Reply)
You can't be that into film then(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:50,
Reply)
Not like me.I'm right bang into the old 'film', me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:50,
Reply)
Well doneproving your film credentials there
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
Well I am really into 'cinema'.It doesn't hurt to remind people of this from time to time.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:56,
Reply)
Best film of the last 10 years?(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
That's what you get for going out boozing with horrible men.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
Never again, Michael J.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:03,
Reply)
Nothing, as I didn't surface from my bed until 12.30.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:56,
Reply)
That, and I'd only had 3 hours sleep in 36 hours.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:05,
Reply)
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?As in did you want to do this because of your mad crazy partying, or did bad things happen?
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:07, Reply)
Bad, mostly :((
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:13,
Reply)
Can you give your wife a big hug from meand ask her to give you a big from me too.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Ooops, missed out a word thereI'll let you fill it in with whatever word works best for you.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Will do mate.We've had to cancel our weekend away as a result :(
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
Burning 1000 calories a day on my new exercise bike.the loss of 2 Ibs a week is what I'll get out of it if I do it 7 days a week.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:56, Reply)
Good lad.I decided to go on a diet this week but today I fell off the wagon and ate an entire wedge of St Agur and almost a whole pack of crackers.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
Weight loss doesn't really work in a linear fashionyou'll lose weight, but don't expect it to be steady or predictable.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:58, Reply)
I remember the weight watchers girls at my old work who always used to lose 4lb or so in the first two weeksand then it would slowly decrease to no weight loss one week and they would all claim it wasn't working and would quit and start eating pies again. It was an annual cycle.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:01,
Reply)
Maybe if she'd have cycled more frequently than once a year she'd have lost some weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:02,
Reply)
I thought was an excuse to laugh at ethnic minorities in an ironic fashion(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Maybe you should try changing your image or something.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
I was actually offered "style advice" from a girl recently. I hated pretty much everything she suggested and was offended.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:09, Reply)
I would have offered some 'fuck off' advice of my own.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:11,
Reply)
They're the most satisfying 'fuck offs', though.Apart from senior clergymen.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:17,
Reply)
ROFLZ!I cycled home from the city today and I didn't die, are you proud of me?
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:04,
Reply)
I am erect with joy on your behalf.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
But is it the cycling or the great seatsthat's causing this unusual erectile activity?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:08,
Reply)
It's certainly causing a bit of a 'Squeeze' down there.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
As Chompy says, that's not how it worksPlus, as a sixteen year old, going from being a fat lazy cunt to trying to burn off 1000 calories a day on a bike is going to rapidly lead to you developing a nice injury or two, plus it's bad for your development.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:05, Reply)
I'd actually like to encourage him so much he becomes anorexicand dies of a heart attack when his malnourished body finally consumes it's own internal organs.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:08, Reply)
Of course I've not thrown myself into it, I've prepared for the last 6 weeks by alternating between walking and cycling while on holiday for 2 to 3 hours per dayWhich in itself has helped me lose 6 Ibs
And I'm not doing all the weight loss at once, I'm trying to lose 100 calories a time 10 times a day.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)
Yeah I did that a lot when I was your age as well,probably not 10 times a day, but then I only had dial up.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)
I nearly started something.I nearly started a health kick by drinking some herbal tea with peach and that echi-thingy flower stuff in it. But it still tastes disappointingly fucking awful so I reverted to real coffee again immediately.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
It's wasn't nommy?Such a shame.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:00,
Reply)
it really wasn't Monty, I was very upset.It always smells so delicious and then tastes like a hot puddle.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:02,
Reply)
They all do.The smell is pleasant enough, the taste is dishwater.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:03,
Reply)
ZOMG GET OUT OF MY HEADb3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post716282#post716300
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
We both seem to have said this several timesb3ta.com/search/answers?q=dishwater
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:11,
Reply)
I didn't realise Apey was a coffee snob.People who get antsy about drinking cappuccinos in the afternoon can fuck off.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:12, Reply)
I like green tea with orange blossomit tastes faintly orangey.
But i also like strong black coffee.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:07, Reply)
You've done it againI'm starting to think you're doing this for comic effect.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:20, Reply)
You are the one who goes on about me shitting on Wet ham man.I'm sure you'll find someone else to go on about me shitting on.
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girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:22,
Reply)
Basically I've done a ridiculous amount of work in the past couple days to complete an assignment.I was just about to send it off when I looked at the letter I got a few weeks ago telling me I had stuff to send in, to notice that the actual assignment has changed. So where I've analysed six different texts and done six thousand words (was supposed to do 1000 words on each text every two weeks from Sept-Dec), the changed assignment is analyse one text and do 3000 words.
So I've done 3000 words more than I was supposed to, I'm not sure if I'll even be able to hand this in and the deadline is Friday. I just saw the letter and thought 'yeah I know what assignment I haven't done, I'll just do it and send it off'. It is beyond me why I didn't read the entire thing until about five minutes ago.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)
can't you just pick one analysis and pad it out?(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:17,
Reply)
I'm not doing another 2000 words, I've emailed my relevant lecturer to tell him this is what I'm handing in. (, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Oooo, Yeah!Lecturers love it when their students tell them that they are so fucking stupid that thy didn't bother to read the assignment title and therefore are going to hand in a totally different piece of work than the one that was asked for.
They will definitely give you bonus marks for that, and there is no chance they will just fail you straight away and tell you to get the fuck off the course.
(, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)
I still have nightmares about this kind of thing.I graduated in about 1995.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
First rule of homework.READ ALL THE INFORMATION SEVERAL TIMES.
Second rule of homework
READ ALL THE INFORMATION SEVERAL TIMES.
(
girlinthehole, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 14:21,
Reply)
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