Where is everyone this morning?
8am and barely a peep out of anyone. Are you all on long bank holiday weekends and still in bed?

A real question: What are you planning on doing with your 3 day weekend? I work shifts so I'm working Saturday and Sunday, fun fun fun
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 8:01, 119 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Which pie factory do you work at?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 8:19, Reply)

Pie factory?
Is this a confusing attempt at an insult?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 8:24, Reply)

That's a b3tans dream job right there

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 8:28, Reply)

Tonight I'm out, but attempting to have a quiet one
Tomorrow, I'm up early, doing an early morning meat run, before heading to Manchester to meet Darth. After that, possibly heading to TK Maxx to get a new pair of trainers, before heading home. Once there, either a BBQ or a grill night, depending on the weather. Then, the entire house is heading out for a night out.

Sunday, seeing the family.

Monday, probably going to have a quiet one.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 8:38, Reply)

meh
meet bum
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Can't you read?
I'm meeting Darth later than that.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I can read, i can't type

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Seriously though, you gonna get some serious beats if you turn up anywhere with some trampy tkmaxx trainers
sort it out
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I buy most of my trainers from there
Decent brands, quite cheap.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Get some British Knights

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Patrick Stewart on one foot, Patrick Moore on the other.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Seeing the inlaws, watching the rugby and maybe going to see Harry Potter
depending on the baby
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Fucking hell it's an avalanche here this morning.
I blame Wet Ham Man, I'd prefer it if he was still dead. Dead heroes are far better than a live portly b3tan who works in a pie factory.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

What kind of pie?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Some kind of meat pie I'll bet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Maybe chicken and chorizo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Hair pie.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

You make me sick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Winna!
The kind mostly filled with gristle and surrounded by a two inch casing of impenetrable pastry. Sold at all Morrisons near YOU !!!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

but, Richard 'Hamster' Hammond told me they have real life trained butchers?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

We're talking a pie factory here, on some grim industrial estate on the outskirts of Darwin
and by training they've been told to wash their hands after they've had a shit, not that there's ever any soap or towels in the toilet anyway.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:15, Reply)

The sort of place where you have to wash your wellies on the way out.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Well, you wouldn't want to walk around with smelly wellies would you.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)

No one likes a smelly welly boot top

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

This reminds me of the joke about the midget with a sore fanny.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

enlighten me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Midget goes to doctors
says "Doctor every time I walk to the shops I get a really sore fanny"

Doctor asks her to get undressed, checks her over, can't see anything wrong, asks her to get dressed again and then stops and asks her to lie down again with her legs in the air. He leans down with a scalpel and starts rummaging around her lady bits, then when she gets up and walks around she goes "Wow! You've cured it! What did you do?"

and the Doctor shows her the top two inches of her wellys that he just cut off.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)

BOOM!
Actually i remember it now, very good, your punchline needs work though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I'm sure there are better versions around.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I should be going to the big larp event of the year
I'm not. Only the second one I've missed since 1998
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:13, Reply)

What is LARP?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Live Action Role Play
World of Warcraft in real life... :')

Edit: How was drinks with Ponceague Moist last night?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)

blimey
usually people say D&D. The world has changed beyond all recognition
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I thought saying D&D was cruel
at least WoW is popular... :P
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

i just can't work out the nerd heirachy
now that geeking is more mainstream. All I know is we're above furries
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Everyone is above Furries.
I am a very liberal person, but have deep seated hate for Furries. I would commit Furrocide if given the chance.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I see.
Whatever floats your boat.

I imagine gangs of nerds going around dressed as Level 10 Warlocks?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

close enough

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

It is the end of everything

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)

It occurs but twice a year, when all the stinky shut-ins leave the house to compare flab rolls and child porn stashes

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

4 times, actually
not counting minor events. And it's usually dog porn
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

The elders of herofest will hear of this etc etc

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I can't believe that no one is going to the Notting Hill Carnival.
It's normally a favourite with the young stoners.

I have a wedding on Sunday which should be a grin.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:14, Reply)

free bar?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Yes indeed.
Which is amazing as my mate is tight as arseholes.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Free bars are a terrible thing to balance
you want to get your moneys worth, but you don't want to end up being "that" person who couldn't say no.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I will drink until asked to leave.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)

'then stay until physically removed'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

both my brothers are getting married next year
my mums already started buying in the spirits for one them, theyre all sitting there in her bedroom these little shiny bottles of happy
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

'My name is Rosalicious and i am an alcoholic'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)

id fucking love that
but im just too pov to keep myself in booze
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

You should brew your own out of leftover food scraps kept in socks.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)

You know that American Buety scene with the rose petals on the bed.
Well, Rosie is the same thing, except instead of petals, there are 1000s of those little tiny 2-shot bottles of booze.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)

They must hurt more when she throws them in the air
and lets them cascade back down on her.

Plus they wouldn't hide her modesty terribly well when she's in the nuddy.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I only like Nottinghill to look at the blue door from that film 'Nottinghill'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I only go to Notting Hill to see Julia Roberts.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

And to get away from all the black people in London

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Can someone please validate the film based irony of this post
so I don't look like a massive racist?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Too late
you look like a massive racist.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:29, Reply)

*calls monty*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Wait, I'm going on Monday
Got an invite to the Red Bull Event and it's got a free bar too. Win.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I went last year
I was unimpressed. I suspect it's better if you go with someone who knows what to see and where, rather than trying to battle your way through the crowds and peep past the barriers occasionally.
(berk, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I'm not sure, not sure at all, I might go and find me some freelance work, in fact, that is what I'll do.
I couldn't work out how to spell [french bread in a cressent shape using flakey pastry] so I just spelt it how I would, *copy'n'paste*

I've made 4 mini quwahsontz with a chocolate/chili/mustard spread, ham and emmingtile cheese.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

sheeet braw
if horsething were here youd be well fucking for it
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)

He's such a dullard, reckon's hes well clever 'cus he copies JMG's "You're getting upset" thing, has no schtick of his own, totally unimaginative
Plus someone on here said his real first-name, so I looked at that person's mates on FB and put in that first name... turns out that his name is "[first name] '[nickname]' [sirname]"... unless his real middle name is " 'Rooster' ", which I doubt. That's some serious dullard central.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:29, Reply)

To be a real dullard
you have to change your middle name to Danger by deed poll.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)

That sounds revolting, no offence like
FYI: croissant
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Everything is cool except the chocolate.
Srsly. Dude.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)

It's this stuff, it's alright really.
www.firebox.com/product/3274/Chocolate-Chilli-Mustard
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:29, Reply)

It was more the spelling that I was pointing out though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)

oh lol

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Using the finger is the Safeway I suppose.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Only if you use those plastic finger condoms

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)

saaafeway
everything you want from a store and a little bit mooo-re
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Still not convinced
even though I know how well chili goes with chocolate. Maybe it's just the cheese man!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Chocolate and cheese isn't going to work.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I know -
just look at your waistline.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Been up since 4.30.
Trying the delights of the megabus. Whole church load of Africans with me. I think I did an audible trump when I was asleep...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Awesome

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Where does the megabus go?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

From Pikey area A to Pikey area B.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

This is the right answer

(McChinaman banned, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)

So harsh chaps.
Roota is just trying to travel on a budget, have you seen the trainfares?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Lots of places.
This one's going to Manchester, Coventry, Birmingham and London.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Cheaper than the trains
with added Holy Ladies.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)

AND
The return journey is by motherfucking train. The same train I usually get. But for 9 quid. How boss is that?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Indeed!
And this way I leave more money for fun times.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

reply fail. phone

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Message received. Understood.
Blow up the Tower. Wilko.

Over and out.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Roger.
De Courcy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:14, Reply)

It was jus like a little wasp having a sneeze. Not a big ripper.
But next to me is a holy woman.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

That is a brilliant description.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I don't have a three day weekend.
I have a nine day weekend. Hello Lebaran, goodbye August bank holiday.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:47, Reply)

But can you eat devils on horseback?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Yes I can.
I live in a Chinese area, so it's porks away.

Off to Kalimantan tomorrow to catch a boat through a rainforest, so maybe not so much pig. But who cares, nine days off w00t.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)

WINNA
Chops away you might say...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Indeed.
Or chimps* away.

*May in fact be orangutans.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:56, Reply)

So 10 o'clock and this is the extent of things.
This is a very poor show. Friday is the day I require more entertainment than usual due to it being a slow work day.

You are all very disappointing.
( Kroney, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)

You have been as miserable as fuck this week.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)

This is true
I can only assume a lack of poo play has saddened him
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Sorry if I've been grumpier than usual
I've had a fortnight you wouldn't believe.
( Kroney, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Three days off though.
Get some recreational drinking in.

Chillax. *shudders*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Got a week off in mid September, too.
I fucking need it.
( Kroney, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Going away?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

No, just not being at work.

( Kroney, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

*hugs*
*wipes self down*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

we need some kind of game to pass the time

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I'm having a four and a half day weekend
Go me
( Peej, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)

4 days for me, too
although I've just realised that I probably should use the time to do some work in
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Everybody is vague and noncommital
which is just like normal. We'll end up round someone's house for the evening boozing it up and possibly playing videogames/boardgames, like usual.

Sunday I am off to watch football - well, it's Stoke so almost football.

Monday will be sitting around in pants thinking about doing stuff and then not. Best sort of bank holiday.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

My favourite day.
In underwear all day, ignore door, ignore phone, no fresh air, no sunlight.

It's why the good Lord gave us Bank Holidays.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I thought Bank Holidays were designed for sitting in hot cars in stationary traffic on overcrowded motorways

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Only for people foolish enough to have kids

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Luckily this doesn't include me.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Good morning you twatfaced bumders.
That was the best /AC ever. I can't even remember having typed it before.


so, don't tell Jeff, but there's going to be a spectacular flypast over the pier this lunchtime, and me and the old feller are going to watch. We've staked out a prime spot on the roof of the shopping centre car park.
Apparently, there'll be a Spit, a Lanc, and a Hurricane. mr b3th is like a little boy, he is so full of GLESS at this. It makes you proud to be British.

So, what makes YOU proud to be British? Or, if you're not British, what makes you proud to be whatever you are?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

You're late again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I'm not late.
The party don't start till I walk in.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Greggs
you wouldn't get that in any other culture
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

The rest of the world look on in bewildered envy

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)