I'm off to a barbecue later
QUESTION: When a friend has a barbecue:
1. do they provide all the meat and sides and bread;
2. does everyone bring some meat and sides and bread and mix and match;
3. everyone brings their own meat and sides and bread and there is UN class negotiating to occasionally swap a speciality sausage for a homemade burger.

I suspect that as people age they progress from 3 to 1 via 2. My mates are still on 3 but loosening up a little, I suspect if your group includes a weapons-grade moocher it might stick at 3 for a long time.

Alt: doing anything nice specifically for Bank Holiday Weekend?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 12:09, 111 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

4. You take a bunch of bananas and some chocolate buttons and a roll of foil. And you make desert for everyone on the barbie*, and then help yourself to all the other food that's there.

People always take too much food, working on the basis of 'take enough for yourself, plus the host(s) there is bound to be loads of spare food.

*Leave the skin on the 'nanas, cut them all the way down one side, stuff full of chocolate buttons, wrap in foil and leave them on the barbie for 5/10 mins for a warm chocolate and banana treat.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I hear you love to get your banana all chocolatey...

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Feeling better now I take it!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Yeah, managed to cope with some lunch and almost feeling human again
Not quite detracting from the fact I'm at work, but at least now I'm not at risk of vomiting over my keyboard.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Now Jeff, I hear what you're saying, but I just wanna point out to you the delight that is a blackened banana done the same way only with honey, nuts and ameretto or southern-comfort instead.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 13:52, Reply)

When I do a BBQ, I provide the meat, and ask for a small donation.
Alt: Recovering from this hangover, ugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I'm off to one later, too
I just sent a text asking if they want me to bring stuff. It's usually somewhere between 1 and 2, but there usually aren't all that many of us.

alt: feeding a guinea pig lucazade from a syringe. And buying a hoover. And making red onion chutney
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Chutney farmer.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I'm doing fuck all for the rest of this bank holiday.
I feel awful in more ways than one.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Oh Barry, you silly saussage, you regret-spunk up someone?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Yes.
She was fit but one night things make me feel fucking ill.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

www.woodgreen.org.uk/rehome/dogs/814_izzy
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)

are you getting a dog, or just oggling dogs?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

He's not getting one.
Not until he's been successfully trained himself.
( thealternativefact, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Just being Man-broody, it's just a dream of mine, maybe in the new place.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I think that's being 'moody' :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Nah', Moody is when your football team lose.
How ace is this ?!?!?!?! www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-30737011.html
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Uh I'm not quite sure what to say
saw your fb post on it though :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Hah, I don't see why not really.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:19, Reply)

They probably require old people

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Are you thinking of collecting your pension Gonz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Thing is though, why _not_ have a retirement property? what age do they consider 'retirement' ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)

I think most of these developments won't allow people under the age of 55 to buy/live in them.
Which is what keeps them so cheap.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Is that legal?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Sounds like it from what Swipe says.
I hope this doesn't piss on your chips.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

exactly this
you can't buy the long leasehold interest (ie buy the flat) if you are under 55 (well, this depends on the development).

and if you rent it from someone who has bought it and then put it on the letting market, you could be turfed out if the landlord seeks to take action against the flat-owner.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Afternoon.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Gee-AAAAA-hay.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Ooh. I've got new plans for my Bank Holiday Sunday.
www.thisisbristol.co.uk/Pub-tones-jazz-festival-moving-event-indoors/story-13198586-detail/story.html

Bristol Jazz Festival followed by

www.bigchill.net/bristol/events/bank-holiday-special--1
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I always thought the Big Chill was full of estate agents who like Royksopp etc.
But my mate went and said it's really good.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

'Tis only a bar.
A bar that plays a variety of music.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

That looks fairly ace :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Well you'll know where to find me!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I'm too poor to go out drinking at the moment
but I hope you have a good time
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I'm not going out for a couple of hours yet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I went out last night, got absolutely trollied and came back with more money than I started with.
It was a good night.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

How on earth did you manage that?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Theft.
He nicked the jacket of the 'laytee' he 'romanced' and 'flogged' it down a 'saaf lahndahn boozah', I'll be bound.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Free entry and free travel for starters.
A girl gave me a giant bag of ket so I could go to the bogs to do some, when I got back she'd completely disappeared. Looked for her for ages, couldn't find her. So free drugs, and when I was leaving with (another) bird someone asked if I had anything and so I sold the stuff I had left for 25 smackers. After all last night's activities I am roughly three pounds up.
The only downside is the ginger doris was there and it was horrifically awkward.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I once stumbled out of the bogs at Tonic in Bognor Regis
leaving a 1-dab-short-of-a-full-gram of Californian crystal MDMA on the shelf. Some lucky sod had a good night or two on me that weekend. In some respects it was probably a good thing anyway. Hideous stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Is that like a tube of dib-dab filled to the top minus one licked lollypop worth of the dust?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:01, Reply)

It's exactly like that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:02, Reply)

I can't tell if I'm autistic or clever =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)

It's a fine line.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:09, Reply)

sounds like quite a lot of fine lines

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 18:10, Reply)

I ate a pack or Parma Violets earlier,
left over from some sweets I bought for my kid. I think I prefer their ham.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:04, Reply)

I quite like Parma Violets.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)

that makes awesome ice cream

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:08, Reply)

I was sold speed by former Shamen 'star' Mr C in a club in Bognor.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Did it move, move, move any bowels?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Not that I remember.
Neither do I recall the delivery being smooth like water from a fountain.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Mr C definitely went to the same school of rhyming that Miker G attended.
Another alumnus of that hallowed establishment. Another old boy, Morris Minor, is now a don there, I believe. As are Marco, Merrick and I think perhaps Terry Lee.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:14, Reply)

So what does the rest of the weekend hold in store for you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:17, Reply)

That's all I get for this stupendous post?
*flounces*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:19, Reply)

You don't get any acknowledgement as I've now got the Holiday Rap in my head.
A space that was previously clear of annoying pop tunes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Pop?
I think you mean 'classic old skool hip hop'.

'Pop' indeed. DJ Sven would be turning in his grave, if he were dead.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:23, Reply)

I heard that DJ Sven became a muslim and reworked the Holiday Rap.
The chorus now goes, 'We're gonna Ramadanadom for a holiday'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Equating the holy month of Ramadamadingdong with a holiday is sacriliege.
You should be stoned for that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:26, Reply)

*Hunts for Rizla*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Ratpack lolz
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um08IJhw3r0
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:28, Reply)

*Remembers*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:31, Reply)

DJ Switchback
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4NQhc3V9e4
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I'm in fucking stitches. That is appalling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:35, Reply)

There were so many 'similar' tunes around at the time.
I'll try and find some more for you.

*Books Trip to Trumpton*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Don't put yourself out. Really.
I'd retired from raving before 'Happy Hardcore' came about. It didn't make me happy at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:39, Reply)

I was more of a Dreamscape/Helterskelter type
Than the later stuff.

Someone should put together a compliation album of novelty 'dance' tracks.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:40, Reply)

..and then bury it at sea.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Meeting Lusty off the plane tomorrow so can't have a late one
but I'm having a pal over later. And I've just remembered my mater brought me a bottle of Chateau Lesbos yesterday so I'm about to open it. This will ruin my ability to make sensible judgements so I expect I'll be on the MDs by six.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Gay women always drink from the Chateau Lesbo's.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:23, Reply)

THATS THE... oh never mind.
It's actually a fairly mediocre Tempranillo from a small Spanish producer. A kind of 'Tinie Tempranillo', if you will.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I liked him more when he did the Halifax adverts.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:27, Reply)

actual LOL here

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:27, Reply)

You simpleton.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:28, Reply)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:27, Reply)

What makes that any different from the normal stuff?

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:04, Reply)

If it's a white powder it's heavily cut. The Cali stuff is very strong and very clean.
Mind you there are things you can do to make 'fake' crystal I am told, these days, but this was about 15 years ago. Like a kind of pinkish cloudy amber and stinks like a million pills. Yeuch. I can barely look at it these days, it makes me suicidal.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

You should hook a brother up.
I don't think any MDMA that's white powder has ever been good. It's always been muddy brown crystals when I've had good stuff. There's some good pills knocking about now, I'm sure they're just the same ones as about four years ago, but due to pills being shit for ages they're seen as 'amazing' in comparison.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:13, Reply)

A friend of mine produces his own pills,
so I can tell you to the mg what is in them. The thought of actually taking them makes me feel genuinely ill. I have properly overdone that stuff and will never touch it again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:16, Reply)

He sounds fantastic.
I will be in touch. Although I do agree, the pill comedown is horrific. The first time I ever did them I was standing on the platform at Victoria and was genuinely considering jumping onto it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:29, Reply)

He is the legendary 'Yeti'. Stunned poster has had the dubious pleasure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I have to meet this man.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Bring your own meat in case everyone else's is shit,
'borrow' some bread, and salad's for poofs so none required.

All you then need to do is make friends with the person who has the weed and you're done.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 15:56, Reply)

No Salad Required
Phil Colins as yet unreleased follow-up album.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:01, Reply)

To this very day
my brother and I still refer to 'Phil Collins weather'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:02, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:04, Reply)

I feel like such a grown up.
If I invite people to a barbecue, I wouldn't expect them to bring anything at all. If I'm the host, surely that implies that I'm planning on feeding them?

This whole 'I brought this, I'm only eating this, you eat your own food' sounds a bit studenty to me.

The 'make a pudding' idea is a good one though. Or, what about drink - either a bottle of spirit or a case of beer or soft drink.

Alt: working. yay.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:27, Reply)

What work are you doing this weekend b3th?
You could go on the pier. I'd imagine it'll be great on a bank holiday weekend.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I sold a huge load of stuff the other day, and it needs posting on Tuesday.
That means I have to spend most of tomorrow packing up parcels. Joy.

I'll be on the pier in a couple of weeks. You know, for an advance recce.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Did you make a fortune on the 'gear' you sold?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Not a fortune, un'fortune'ately
but it *has* been a pretty good month.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Woohoo!
What have you been selling recently?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:41, Reply)

A lot of electrical/engineering gear recently
and some other technical stuff. To be honest, I don't really know what most of it does. I just do teh typing and the packing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Right fucking 'Del boy' aren't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:44, Reply)

She is? Damn, I'm gonna get a camel hair coat if that's her fetish.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Even students don't do that
but whether you're bringing food or not, always bring drink.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I hate it when people go to resturants with sharing food, like chinese, and they're all like "BUT I ORDERED THIS AND YOU ORDERED THAT".
Unless someone says at the start, before you go, or someone is in a dire money situation.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:35, Reply)

That's the deal.
Same with rounds in pubs - if you state from the off that you are doing your own thing then fine - just don't pipe up at the end and break out a calculator like a crass, ill-mannered boor.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:41, Reply)

I like to pick a fight with someone around the time just before the bill comes and storm out.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I prefer the old 'pretend to go the loo but really exit via he kitchens' trick

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:46, Reply)

It's double good to dip your finger in EVERYTHING on the way out.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Aww MAN, this place only sales to the states =((((
www.popcorngirlvegas.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Have you thought about sweet talking Kristine into taking delivery
and paying her to ship it onwards to you? If you get enough of your friends addicted to the stuff, she could become quite the exporter.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Oh don't get him started.
He's busy enough with his work for the Prescription Opiates Marketing Board without getting bogged down with any side projects.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:37, Reply)

I could do with a few opiates myself this weekend...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Nyom, noym, noym.... morphine haze now.
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:42, Reply)

There is a place doing chocolate spring-rolls and chocolate pizza now, I've moved on from gormay popcorn.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:41, Reply)

I've just 'done a Barry' and ordered a jacket I don't need because it was going cheap.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 16:55, Reply)

The thought of meat makes me feel ill at the moment.
It is hot as balls right now and I am too hungover to function like a normal human.

My body is a wreck. I am looking forward to not drinking for the next month.
( wanderlust, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 18:13, Reply)

OH MY DARLING SWEET DEAR LUSTY
How are you doing, my little peanutbutter cheesecake?. I bought a bottle of southern comfort, I think it's the first bottle of booze I've bought this year that I've intended to drink.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 18:49, Reply)

I feel a bit funny today.
Sad to be leaving and really not looking forward to going back to work.

I have a very special bottle of booze for Monty in my bag, given to me by his bestie French Canadian friend.
( wanderlust, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 18:57, Reply)

Surely the very easiest thing to do
would be to ask your host if they require any donations in the way of food, pudding, booze etc? I am sure they would appreciate you asking even if they don't want you to bring anything.
I find that turning up clutching a cheap bottle of wine and a nice looking cake will get you fed and drunk for the evening no matter what the house rules are.
(berk, Sun 28 Aug 2011, 19:00, Reply)