Smooooooooooooooooooooth mover.
Checkout Girl: I'll put the sushi in last so it doesn't get squashed.
Me: Oh wow, that's cool, thanks.
Checkout Girl: My mum taught me how to pack =)
Me: Hah, mine didn't. This waitrose is quite good, I've never really been in one before.
Checkout girl: Really? You've never been in one?
Me: Maybe once or twice, there isn't any around where I live but I might move here.
Checkout Girl: Wow, cool, where abouts.
Me: Just around the corner......[few moments]..... Do you like working here?
checkout Girl: Yeah', and the discount in john lewsis is good.
Me: Ohh, I forgot about that, so you actually own the place then?
Checkout girl: Tee hee eee, never thought of it like that, but I guess I do.
Customer Behind me: Excuse me, are you going to be long?
Me: Oh shit, sorry, sorry. sorry mate, won't be long [to her] Do you do cashback?

[the rest of the conversation was quite borring, but it ended with me not asking for her number].

BUT OH MAN. She was cute and I wish I asked for her number.

Oh', yeah', and I'm going to put an offer into a flat tomorow.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:42, 242 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

go back their tomorrow
get number
profit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:47, Reply)

Bad idea

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

she said get their number not rape them

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

You dont just repeatedly turn up a peoples work if you've had one conversation with them.
If you have to go back there say hello at most.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:02, Reply)

In other news Terra Nova looks pretty fucking good.
Lets hope they don't ruin it with shitty american values and God.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:06, Reply)

I don't know what this, so instead
I'm going assume you meant the new Mastadon album and I agree, it's bloody good. I've also started readin "a game of thrones" it's good.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:12, Reply)

This
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terra_Nova_%28TV_series%29
Pilot was last night. DLing it now.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

oh I saw an advert for that
Looks interesting
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:17, Reply)

The TV show was better than I thought it would be
which I was reluctant to believe
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:18, Reply)

I've only read about 5 chapters but I can really see how it would make for a great series
Providing it was done right.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Disliked the books
saw first three episodes and they were surprisingly good especially since it's not my sort of thing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:22, Reply)

romantic advice from the dude who's been whinging about being single and "hotties" since he signed up here
i'd ignore that if i were you, gonz
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:07, Reply)

You know this is pretty pathetic right?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:13, Reply)

I wouldn't bother
Some people you just can't reach.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:15, Reply)

yeah
because you've always been soooo nice about him.

hypocrite.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:18, Reply)

there is nothing remotely hypocritical in my statement
There is something rather pathetic in yours
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:20, Reply)

don't you have a wife to go and talk to, or something?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

yes, but she's at home
While I'm on a train.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:28, Reply)

ah
well do get home quickly, ok?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:44, Reply)

She's watching Made in Chelsea
so I'm gonna play total war.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:00, Reply)

yep of course i do
i'll get bored of it eventually.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:17, Reply)

we're all bored of it already

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:18, Reply)

don't read it then
problem solved.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:21, Reply)

HaHa!
Happy Birthday for saturday BTW
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:22, Reply)

thanks off now.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

well, you know where she works.
Sounds like it's all about to turn round for you Gonzorello. About fucking time.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:50, Reply)

encouraging stalking there.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

=D
The journey from work to the new place was quite easy too, plus on the overground you can use your phone, which is awesome.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

if you get the girl to go with the new flat
i'll even forgive you for forsaking me
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

That's a step too far, too soon

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

yeah, you're right.
Gonz, spend a year alone in your new flat first. Just to get the feel of things.

Otherwise, you'll be dead to me. You hear me, Gonz? Dead.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:00, Reply)

That's not right either
You can't spend a year alone in a house.

Edit - you shouldn't spend a year alone in a house.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:04, Reply)

I did, when i bought my flat.
Having said that, it's how i ended up picking up some weird old man off the internet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:10, Reply)

I have been alone in my huuuuge flat for 6 years.
And this weekend I will have lived here 10 years in total.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Yeah, but you probably went out occasionally
or had people in occasionally. I was just a proper sad loner.

So how's you, Ar Kid?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:17, Reply)

I do occasionally allow guests.
I'm mostly reclusive.

I'm shattered after work, sis. You?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Been incredibly productive today
which makes a nice change.

so, did you fancy chucking a sickie on Friday and coming to the pier?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:19, Reply)

No way Jose!
I might actually have Friday off if Great Aunty Mary has her funeral then. I await news.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Poor Great aunty Mary.
Did we like her?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:22, Reply)

She was ace.
We went to her 90th the other week.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Then raise a glass from us.
We like ace aunties.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:24, Reply)

Ah, ta.
She loved action films. I might raise a Steven Seagal box-set to her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Been here for 5 years this month.
It's a lot bigger than I need and I originally bought it as a "do up and sell" but I can't let go of it.

It's housed various mates for indefinate periods.

I'm not really materialistic, but this is my house now.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:20, Reply)

I don't know how I'll survive in a smaller place.
I love going "oooh which room shall I sleep in tonight?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:21, Reply)

especially not living with an autistic clean freak.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:22, Reply)

At least it will be clean!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

only because he's thrown all your stuff out!
Including your cat.

Oh yeah, he might *say* it was an accident, but do you *really* think Tigger would 'accidentally' wander down to Waverly and get on a train to Devon?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:25, Reply)

I'll be putting him on one myself if he carries on like he did last night

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Did he throw a party for all the neighbourhood reprobates?
Did he invite Graham up and show him your underwear drawer?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:27, Reply)

There was a cat in a zoot suit and a laser moustache
playing double bass in my living room
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:29, Reply)

You can't be doing that
A house without a pet is a house owned by worthless people.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:30, Reply)

or a house with clean furniture

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:32, Reply)

A whole year? Is there something that you and your husband's doctors know; that your insurance policy doesn't ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:20, Reply)

So she'll be there tomorrow
Be smoother.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 20:55, Reply)

while I'm sad you're no longer moving above takeaway round the corner from me
I hope your offer gets accepted. In all seriousness if need a solicitor my sister does conveyancing.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Oh really?
*stores in brain*
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:12, Reply)

yes, should you decide to move house, she'll do you a good deal.
I'm totally excited about seeing you soon.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

I am moving house next year.
I am similarly excited.
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

are you moving to live round the corner from me?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:18, Reply)

No :(

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:19, Reply)

are you going to still be available for ribs and beer and mini naans and bowling and stuff?
I'm listening to Manowar.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

I am going to be available for ALL bff duties.
If I do dinner at mine on 'bowelling' night, I might, just might, make you some mini-naans.
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Because you need metal to survive?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:34, Reply)

307 big fella, WINK.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:21, Reply)

puts finger on nose
Points with other finger
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Oh wow, cool, I'll keep that in mind =D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:18, Reply)

we need descriptions, gonz
girl and flat
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Girl: Blond, pretty in a girl next door kind of way, friendly, nice smile, nice eyes.
Flat: One double bedroom, one single bedroom (to be used as office/laundry), potentially BRAND SPANKING NEW KITCHEN, not bad bathroom, resonable livingroom with dinning area.
Dinner: Waitrose butternut squash ravioli that I've done with a load of toasted pine nuts and burnt sage butter.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:20, Reply)

girl - just shop there again
see if she chats to you again.

flat - sounds nice. you seem to be seeing lots of good properties at the moment.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:24, Reply)

I've just taken a massive mouthful of diet pepsi and lost half of down my cleavage.
what a fucking spaz.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:11, Reply)

OMG BREASTS!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:13, Reply)

i no rite? I have them!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:16, Reply)

I'm not sure I'm ready for us to live apart.

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Oh, fantastic, brilient, that's settled then, you'll move up to the nice bit of enfield on the same estate as me, and I get to be your next door neighbour !
This has worked out fantasticly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:25, Reply)

I'm sure Andrew won't mind his new commute.

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:28, Reply)

He can use the overground, it's fun, you can use your phone to facebook people while being on a train.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:44, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha...
oh lordy...you haven't seen his phone, have you?
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Snake?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Good news with the flat
I'm doing nothing here, thinking about putting Azumi on though. Thinking about not going to hardman's lunch
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Thinking about not going to any of it...
...except I have to.
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Of course you have to
I can't afford the calories or the money
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:24, Reply)

To be frank, neither can I.
If it wasn't for Al and Tourettes and Lusty, I'd bail.
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Ooh charming
don't want to see you either ;)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Oh. Sorry - I thought you weren't going to any of it.
You're still planning on attending the evening debacle then?
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:28, Reply)

you see,
If we could only get BGB and Amberl at the lunch, there would be no need for the bash to even happen
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:31, Reply)

DO IT!

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Lunch will depend on my parents giving me money
and a weigh in session the day before
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

fuck weigh ins, you'll shit out half your colon the next day after those chillis

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Rosemary Conley knew fuck all, really.

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Mambo italiano my arse.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:40, Reply)

*applauds*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:43, Reply)

I've always been fine before
stomach of iron
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:38, Reply)

I have intestines of paper.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:03, Reply)

I doubt we can make lunch.
I have a very important errand to do and have promised to meet Gonz.
( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:38, Reply)

WHAT IS HAPPENING THAT EVERYONE IS DOING FOR LUNCH THAT I AM NOT DOING?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Gaz Al...

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:42, Reply)

I expect a written invite tomorow at the even secreter mid week pre bash bash.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:47, Reply)

What's everyone doing that I should be doing ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

I think I was so busy focusing on the boring cunts and twats that are attending said bash
that I quite forgot that some people I like are going.
I shall still sulk though.
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:29, Reply)

I shall endevour to cheer you up by getting very drunk and making a twat of myself.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Oh yay!

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:37, Reply)

I shall start by telling everyone how much I love them, in great detail.

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:39, Reply)

Oh, you heard I was going, did you?
Calling me both a cunt and a twat is a bit unnecessary, though
( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Ha-ha - you actually plan to go?

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:41, Reply)

i might have to do that too, although i will still get to see amberl and berk, as they are sleeping at mine
in which case we have to get the original planned dinner with monty etc back on track...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:28, Reply)

what? we are having dinner, it's just a dinner for internet hardnuts
And self obsessed attention seeking spastic who think shoving lemon juice up their arse is a route to weight loss aren't welcome.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Why do you have to be so mean to me Al?
And it was lime juice for your information, and I lost 67 grams after I took off my shoes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:34, Reply)

yes, al
sorry, al. my mistake, al.

i forgot that nobody else on here is allowed to arrange dinner except you.

to put it plainly and simply, i was referring to a different social occasion, and one that has nothing to do with YOU, ok?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Yes to this!

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

that's swipey you know?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Yes...I'm working stuff out here after ignoring the place for a while :)

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:42, Reply)

it has been considerably shitter without you
and noel.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:46, Reply)

I've been busy...
plus sweet jesus christ there are some very, very boring people on here atm.
I hope I shall see you soon.
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:48, Reply)

I KNOW
it has made me much more boring, there's nothing to do but snipe at people. which i actually find tedious and depressing. the only thing more boring is work...

i may see you sat. but if not, let's do dinner and lots of booze before the end of october! x
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Dont' do it clendrix, she's promised me dinner every month now for nearly a year.
She'll say she'll do dinner, but really she'll put it off and off, and in the mean time you don't make any other dinner plans because you don't want to be a dinner-cheat, while she's dinner patnered off with someone who she doesn't even like having dinner with.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:53, Reply)

ooof!
you know you are invited too, as is TGB! and monty!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:54, Reply)

Yes, certainly!

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:08, Reply)

I'm thinking about stealing you away somewhere more fun
After dinner.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

I'm listening...

( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:30, Reply)

What's Azumi? What's a "hardman's lunch"?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Azumi is a Japanese film
about ninja assassins. That should've been internet hardman's lunch.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:27, Reply)

Look at this....
Itchy, Knee, Sun, Shush, Go, Doku, Que, Hatchi

(clendrix, am I close?)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Well..
Itchy (but tail off when you get to the 'y'), knee, san, shee, go, roku, nana, hatchi, ku, ju
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Ahhhh, yes, I'll remember that better than how the japanese lady said, this is how I remember it.
Itchy - Itchy, scratching, one scratch.
Knee - (kneecap)
San - (ohh, I thought it was 'sun', like, in the sky)
Shee - (ohhh, shee is eaisier than shush) I'll remember it like women/her/shee
Go - stop and go
--------- These next ones I wasn't so sure on.
Roku - Roku's modern life (cartoon)
Nana - Cool, like a granny.
Hatchi - That film about the dog.
Ku - 9th in the queue.
Ju - Jews are 10th.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:35, Reply)

San is pronounced somewhere between san and sun.
I will check up on you on Saturday.
( thealternativefact, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:40, Reply)

DOMMO !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:42, Reply)

a plate of nails
with a glass of sulphuric acid and a side salad of MTFU
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:27, Reply)

Gogo Gonzo
Whilst you're scoring hot bitches and sweet cribs, I'm still at work and going slowly blind in one eye.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:29, Reply)

You're having half a wank?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:31, Reply)

This is the second time today that somebody's made this statement
in relation to my slow descent into a guide dog owner.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

we obviously know you

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Is there an applebite/ swipe fight happening up there?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:29, Reply)

No, Applebite left.
It looked promising for a while there, though.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:32, Reply)

blimey.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:35, Reply)

All these Monty variations are confusing me.
But then I am easily confused at the best of times. Who on earth is whom?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:45, Reply)

I'm struggling m'self, guv
But I suspect that the self-absorbed one which can't see beyond itself is RSwipe.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:48, Reply)

Regardless of that I just can't see any humour in it.
However that may be due to me rather than anyone else.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:02, Reply)

sorry darling
you're simply not interesting enough to make jibes.

carry on doing something else!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:04, Reply)

They're all Monty.
He's now omnipresent.

Monty is God.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:49, Reply)

In the kingdom of the blind etc.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 21:52, Reply)

Bung some more vitriol on the fire!
I'm bored now.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:03, Reply)

You faccccking caaaaannt

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:06, Reply)

He can't what?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Brian Caaaant!

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Coming back after my flounce (10 month break)
I have noticed there does seem to be a higher level of irritation between contributors than there used to be. Seems to me that this may have led to a smaller number of people participating on OT than there used to be.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:08, Reply)

It's the Oestrogen in the water.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:15, Reply)

Which I think leads to more moobs in the male population. Perhaps that's why male contributors are sniping - they're developing tits.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:20, Reply)

i thought that would calm them down
to have some tits to play with
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:37, Reply)

I'm only on in the evening - being self employed and that
But there's not the nastiness that there used to be.

It's all getting back to the HSH niceness.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I should have explained myself better. Overall the "atmosphere" is fine (not sure about HSH-ish as I avoided that at the time) but there seems to be more bitterness between some people than there used to be.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:19, Reply)

I'm not a regular poster
Therefore maybe not the right person to ask.

I don't take this seriously. It's a place to pass time when I'm not busy, or when I've had a few drinks.

There has been a lot of animosity in the past - some of which turned my stomach, frankly.

You do what you do.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:25, Reply)

There's been a lot of gayness and shitehawkery going on lately.
Make no mistake.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Vitriol, you say?
Why, sir...
I think I've been saving this just for YOU, you southern turn-coat.
Too scared to get up on thy roof and fix thy own tv aerial?
POOOOOF ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:17, Reply)

I can't abuse you
Because you'll just trot to the mods.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Oooh, that stings!
Play nice or I won't ruffle your hair.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:25, Reply)

You will not touch my splendid curly hair.
You evil spic.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:34, Reply)

I'll touch ANYTHING of yours that I fancy.
Or can stomach.
How's the rash?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:36, Reply)

You will not talk about my rash on a public forum
Lest I mention your unfortunate infection. It can't be easy having bile green discharge out of your knob.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:43, Reply)

I only got that from rash-frottage, as you well know.
Anyway, got a new "service user" on the bus tomorrow.
76 yo bloke, just moved back to uk after 54 years living in sarth afrika.
Should harbour some interesting prejudices, I would imagine.
Why am I telling you this? Cos he made me think of you.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:47, Reply)

YOU - are telling ME - I'm bigotted?
What will he think when you drive him to the goat farm and watches you in action?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:51, Reply)

I'm gonna make the racist cunt's eyeballs bleed.
Or summink.
Is it morally ok to harness them up like that? Ok most of them can hardly generate more than 0.3kwh so it's hardly worth it but I enjoy watching them sweat.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:56, Reply)

If you're deriving energy from pensioners thats fine
Don't hurt the goats.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:58, Reply)

I'd NEVER hurt a goat. Not even ever.
I might eat the fucker, what with me being an utter cunt and a carnivore, but I'd never hurt one of my meaty pals.
Anyway, what the fuck were you on about?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Oh yeah, using old folk to generate electricity.
The feed-in tariff ain't all it's cracked up to be.
I have to have them PAT tested every year for one thing.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:08, Reply)

C'mon goatshagger 69.
The truth is?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:56, Reply)

Ok, the truth is this.
I fuck goats.
Happy now? Cos those goats sure are ;))
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:03, Reply)

And as above
You'd never hurt a goat.

Your goat shaped penis keeps 'em happy.

But that means you've had sex? Like, real sex and not with some rubber dolly.

Puts you on a fairly high b3ta standing, I'd say.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:10, Reply)

An interesting combination of back/fore-hand compliment and insult there.
The work of a true master(bator), buddy ;)
Ok, back to the script...
Have you ever seen a goats clunge?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:16, Reply)

evening
i'mstill ill but less twatish than yesterday. sorry about twattishness.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 22:31, Reply)

I'm doing evilness with B69
Feel free to join in.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:01, Reply)

C'mon, get stuck in ;)
So to speak.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:07, Reply)

i am enjoying reading your
intellectual debate :)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:14, Reply)

There's actually a fair bit of effort goes into it...
Gotta keep it fresh, for the public, like ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:17, Reply)

well
i for one appreciate you effort
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:20, Reply)

This is choreorgraphed months in advance
We're the "Strictly" of b3ta.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Strictly Goat Fucking?
Christ, Ann Robinson will be along any minute.
Oh, fuck, sorry I didn't mean to do that...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:30, Reply)

I just got called sad on facebook by a teenage boy with a Justin Bieber haircut.
I think this just about sums up my life.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:11, Reply)

i got described by two different colleagues today
as reminding them of jedward when i was talking crap :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:12, Reply)

One of the granddaughters pasted that thing about the girl with a baby and the fat guy with a thyroid problem....
you know the one. i pointed out a couple of factual mistakes in it. Then one of her girly-looking boy ftriends posted - and I quote - "wtf you read all of this and only find mistakes wow thats sad"

I'd tear him a new one, but it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. And the granddaughter might not talk to me again.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Do it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Too easy.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:19, Reply)

Seconded.
Pointing out the factual errors of fuckwits is a responsibility.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:20, Reply)

Being an avid reader of Lamebook and Failbook
I really wish I had the balls to lay into some of the idiots on my feed.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Just fucking go for it.
I can't be arsed with being nice to retards online.
That's why they reckons I is a cunt.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:25, Reply)

You're nice to me sometimes....

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:28, Reply)

Yeah, but that's cos you're "special" just how I like it ;)
XXX
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:31, Reply)

i have not idea what you are talking about
but that sounds like he's a dick
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:19, Reply)

15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88 of you won't,the other 22 arent heartless and will. Hi, my name is Amy Bruce. I am 7 years old, and I have severe lung cancer . I also have a large tumor in my brain, from repeated beatings. Doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. The Make A Wish Foundation, has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is sent on. For those of you who send this along, I thank you so much, but for those who don't send it, what goes around comes around. Have a Heart. Put this as your status

I merely pointed out that she is not a seven year old girl called Amy Bruce, and that 88+22=110.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:21, Reply)

how about the fact that the whole
donattion for a repost thing is bollocks and just weak minded slacktivism?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Bless her, she's only 14.
She's allowed to be an idiot.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:24, Reply)

i suppose that's fair enough.
no one is really a person until they are 25 *hides from amberl*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:25, Reply)

You're such an internet bully Cavy

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:26, Reply)

it's OK
CQ told me you can bully people under 25 because they don't count yet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:27, Reply)

That's alright then.
I'll remember that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:30, Reply)

and if anyone complains
just direct them at quixote
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:31, Reply)

*Wishes to point out that I'm over 25 and I count*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:31, Reply)

+on your fingers and toes

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:32, Reply)

Do you not think being all PIERBASH in your sig just serves to remind all of us to co-ordinate our excuses not to bother?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:33, Reply)

i keep reading it as pie bash
now i want pie
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:34, Reply)

I'm going to make an omlette in a minute.
I can do you one if you like.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:35, Reply)

Go on, ask her how she likes her eggs in the morning

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:36, Reply)

I think she's gone. Would you like to answer on her behalf?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:38, Reply)

You did right.
But idiots are allergic to facts.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:24, Reply)

hahahaha
Go back to her and say, 'OMG! I no rite, thre is dis nigerian prince who needs to move 9 zillon pounds out of the cunt-ry and if u hlp him he'll like totaally pay for this op and like proprely buy new lungs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:25, Reply)

Last mouthful of beer is now on lap!
Cheers ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:27, Reply)

beer spunk
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:29, Reply)

Glug-glug
X
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:34, Reply)

Fuck me. Do you need new arms? It's just that
thre is dis nigerian prince who needs to move 9 zillon pounds out of the cunt-ry and if u hlp him he'll like totaally pay for this op and like proprely buy new arms.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:29, Reply)

As coincidences go...
How much an arm?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:34, Reply)

They cost an arm and a leg.
To be honest, they are a bit of a false economy. Try as you might to buy new arms, you'll end up a flid before you complete the set.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:36, Reply)

My sister-in-law is a flid.
God dammit, I nearly shit myself laughing the first time I went to shake hands with her.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:39, Reply)

When you next see her say...
'I see your Deaconitus hasn't cleared up yet!'

The whole family will laugh like drains.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:41, Reply)

They wouldn't get the joke.
They be forrins.
Wouldn't know a Joey if they found one in their (vegetable) soup.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:43, Reply)

What kind of soup is that?
It's got a funny lookin' fella in it.
Oh,
Must be vegetable soup.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:44, Reply)

Does she dribble in a different language?
I'm going to shut up now, I've now offended myself, and I've got no idea if you're being serious about your Sister in Law or not, meaning that this isn't remotely amusing
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:44, Reply)

Don't worry dude, she is actually a flid ;)
She's not a mong or anything, just a bit of a Beadle.
Well, she's pretty much a proper Beadle but ok in other respects.
Well, those that I know of.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:49, Reply)

Does she have a beard and insist and wearing a fake beard over the top of it before surprising people?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:50, Reply)

No, but she is a bit of a cunt!
She and I don't quite see eye-to-eye, if you catch my drift.
I think growing up flid-wise has been quite a handful for her.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:54, Reply)

Well the best of O/T tonight
Is me and B69 talking shite about goat sex.

This is our lives, but frankly I still feel better about my prospects than many should.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Evening Benders.
I'm annoyed. Bristol City were 2-0 up after 70 minutes. But they still lost.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:14, Reply)

because they are in bristol?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:15, Reply)

They lost becase they're shit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Could have been worse. Did you see Forest's score?
I predict DF will be happy to talk about it tomorrow...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Bristol City are still well below Florest in the table.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:26, Reply)

sleepy time
tomorrow, more scandal, please. Also continue sex with goats theme, i'm not fucking kidding.

night
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:33, Reply)

What scandal? What have I missed?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:34, Reply)

Yeah, bed for me too, i think.
More work to do in the morning.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:35, Reply)

hahahaha
You be as PIERBASH as you like!

And is this work EXCITING work?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:37, Reply)

Not so much.
Mostly listing on eBay, with added housework. Oh, the joy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:39, Reply)

At least you'll have a clean house to come back to post-PIER.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:40, Reply)

A hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Seriously, it will take more than three days to get even CLOSE to a clean house.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:41, Reply)

What have you been doing there!?!?!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:42, Reply)

Hoarding assorted rubbish for the last ten years : (

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:43, Reply)

You could get a stall in the WsM INDOOR MARKET
We could spend some time trading your tat!

In other news, Dickenson's Real Deal is being filmed in Bristol this weekend. If you find any gems, take 'em to the Duke!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:46, Reply)

This is the magnificently pissed TD
Saying goodnight. Fuck me I've scoffed a lot today. Topper.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:37, Reply)

cum chugger ^

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:38, Reply)

Guzzler, more like.
I've seen him in action.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:41, Reply)

Does that not say as much about you, and it does about TD?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Oh yes.
There is a strong bond between me and he.
It's been many years since I was first called "Big Gay Al" on a building site.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:51, Reply)

Sleep well sweety
X
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:40, Reply)

Right no people at all.
I'm going to bed.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 23:52, Reply)