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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Its hot and sticky out there today people
I've been at work since 7.15 this morning and I just realised I forgot to have any breakfast.

Probably because I'm so full of RIBS from last night, we missed Monty terribly.

When did you last miss someone? Why were you seperated and what was the final outcome?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:32, 200 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I missed my friend for quite a while
She went to Singapore for a year, and whilst we kept in regular contact over email, skype, etc, it still wasn't easy.

It was so, so nice to see her when she got back, and within 5 minutes we were back to being normal again
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)
Knuckles deep in her rectum?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)
I seem to remember that was the plan

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)
Less the plan, more a hope.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:40, Reply)
Would be the title of Monty's first album
How are you Al?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)
I'm feeling pretty good thanks PJM.
I was out on site earlier but now I'm back in my air conditioned office and the person parked next to me in the car park has a MASSIVE dog sitting on their front seat.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:40, Reply)
+n
ololol
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:40, Reply)
*zing!*
And you Monty?

[edit] Argh! What is it with the Monty clones?

Today feels totally wrong... I felt the sun burning my skin when I went to the shop earlier. It hasn't done that since April.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:43, Reply)
You vampire Goth wanker.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Are you the real Monty?
Or are you one of his numerous clones.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:45, Reply)
No, he's the real one.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)
I AM HE.
How art thee?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:48, Reply)
Thine is fine
I'm sat here in this centre of operatic excellence making the most of my lunch hour and trying to hold off going to the karzy because some dirty cunt has utterly nuked it :-(
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:51, Reply)
I've obviously being really thick today
but you'll have to explain that one to me...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:50, Reply)
Do(n)g
Arf
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)
Oh dear.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)
Here is the dog

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)
It looks like it is staring you out

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I know I'm being the miserable old bitch here
but even with the window open that much, a dog that size and with that much fur will still become dangeroulsy overheated in a very short space of time.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)
I don't think it will
both windows are open, it's in the shade, and it's a transit connect so there isn't much glass.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)
Feed it bars of Ex-lax through the window

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
*frowns*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
I just heard a bark
so it's either alive and well, or that was it's death rattle, in which case I can't do anything anyway.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)
I insist you phone the RSPCA
If nothing else, it will inconvenience a white van driver.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
On the other hand, Al
It's only a dog, innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
Yeah, plus as a white van driver myself
I don't want the RSPCA getting fidgety about the contents of any white vans in the car park.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)
And yet
when I say about babies that they're 'only babies, and they don't really matter, and it's not like they know what's going on anyway', I'm some kind of mentalist.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)
Dogs aren't exactly babies though

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)
It's fine
it doesn't even look hot. Bear in mind I have a long and noble history of disliking dogs
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
I think you'd like this dog
he looked noble and proud, but with a soft edge, as if, once you had made the initial small talk and maybe opened him a tin of meat, he would lie with his head on your lap and let you tickle his belly.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)
I like some dogs
I'm unlikely to let it sit near me though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)
I think it would likely prefer to stand at the cave entrance
gazing toward the horizon.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)
Haha, that's not happened with her for quite a long time!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:40, Reply)
That's what you think.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)
The final outcome
was a hard-hitting crime drama set in a low-cholestorol savoury spread factory.

Called 'Flora! Flora! Flora!'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:43, Reply)
A sitcom about an Englishman trying to get ahead in New Delhi's cutthroat helpdesk industry
called "Gora! Gora! Gora!"
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:45, Reply)
A spinoff of Last Of The Summer Wine about wrinkled stockings
Nora! Nora! Nora!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)
A harrowing rites-of-passage thriller about a cocksure, politically active 16-year-old internet forum poster
and his sexual awakening.

Titled "Tory! Tory! Monty!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:47, Reply)
A film chronicling Monty's adult life
Called "Poorer! Poorer! Poorer!"
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)
hahaha DAMN YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:47, Reply)
Only joking.
Really it was an in-depth documentary charting my finances over the past ten years.

Callede 'Poorer! Poorer! Poorer!'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)
HAHA you got mindpissed!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:47, Reply)
A police procedural starring a gastronomic detective with a love of hunter-style dishes
called "Cacciatora! Cacciatora! Cacciatora!"
is it me, or is this getting silly now? Oh, OK, it is just me ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)
I say, Hequers old fruit, that's tip-top.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:51, Reply)
A disturbing film about the children who would encourage their father to viciously beat their mother
Called "Jaw her! Jaw her! Jaw her!"
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)
I missed Princess Di in '97
Luckily that idiotic chaffeur finished the job for me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:45, Reply)
You. I miss you, you quivering lump of a man, you.
I can still smell you on my pillow. why oh why did you have to wipe your bum with it?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:50, Reply)
'somebody' was telling me last night how aces you are.
Are they to be believed?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)
It depends who was saying, it really.
But yes, actually I am pretty ace.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:53, Reply)
I've always thought so.
I hope you have a smashing time on holiday.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)
Why, thank you very much.
I can't wait. Just me, a beer, peri peri chicken and a week of CONSTANT VIGILANCE so no-one does a McCann on me.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:08, Reply)
What you are, old stick, is pretty *short*.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)
5'7" IS A TOTALLY AVERAGE HEIGHT FOR A MAN.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)
+ IN THE C17TH

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)
WHICH IS WHERE YOUR HAIR COMES FROM!!!ONE!1ELEVEN!!

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)
and his world view

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)
YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:08, Reply)
This what happens when we hurt each other, darling.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)
I used to like it when we hurt each other.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)

5' 10" actually
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)
I'm 6'1" in heels.
But that's only every other weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)
Really?
Yay! I'm tall!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)
Your hair doesn't count I'm afraid

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)
The hair makes me about 6'2"
In other words; it needs cutting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
My height maikes me 6'2", but I am a beast of a man

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
Give my regards to Skeletor
I enjoyed his late-90s Boston-set legal comedy-drama.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:15, Reply)
You really don't do yourself any favours, do you?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:16, Reply)
First absurdly thin person I could think of
You got it, anyway
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
I'm quite the expert on Masters of the Universe, me.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)
I think I've missed something here...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)
It was a young gentleman of our acquaintance
who until latterly had a big, girly haircut and a penchant for drinking too much beer.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)
Oh, well he is very biased.
I let him watch muscly men punch each other at my house, you see.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)
Were they oiled and naked?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)
The Transporter is an excellent film

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)
Half naked.
You could say they were fisting each other in the ring.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)
If it was Flim-Flam, she's biased

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:54, Reply)
She'd never say that about me.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)
This reminds me of a picture I sent you ages ago

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)
*searches email*
Oh. Oh *that* picture.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Yep, that one.
Not the one from the other day. Although I am super proud of that one.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
Where has she gone?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)
Didn't we decide he'd killed her a while back?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)
Under the brand new patio
Atcually, she was still alive at the end of August, I have evidence of that.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)
See, this is *evidence*.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:08, Reply)
She's really homophobic
so when you started posting a lot she went off to Mabazritchie's messageboard instead. Pretty sensible move if you ask me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)
Was he the guy who was going to "do" Enzyme?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)
When you say "Do"...?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)
Some sort of fisticuffs...

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I remember that....utter mentalist
I do hope he's wearing a nice straightjacket somewhere.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)
He "knew where Enzyme lived"
Then someone stalked him across the internet and published the results. He was a regular on some sort of C-18 forum. Nice guy by all accounts.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)
What Kroney said below
Probably the origin of the phrase "I'm not a homosexual, but the guy who I'm bumming might be".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:07, Reply)
It's only gay if you take it.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)
It's only gay if you push back

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)
or push back
[edit] mindpiss again.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
I thought he was alright.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
I am joking.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
You're still in touch though?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)
I see him at rallies occasionally.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:26, Reply)
Yep, the mentalist

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)
Yeah, for a homophobe, he seemed awfully keen on that.
Still, they do say it's mostly transference, don't they.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)
*something about Cotton Eye Joe*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
I missed my 95 year old grandmother at my wedding. we were separated as she's dead. The final outcome is a small urn of ashes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)
For reasons I'm not entirely sure of, I read that as 'a small urn of shoes'

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)
*plays cricket*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)
Do you have your own personal violinist to follow you around, or do you hire it?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)
No he borrows yours without asking whenever you're on the shitter.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)
Hire it.
Have you made an offer on that flat yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)
Not yet ! Gonna look around the place with a builder on saturday and see what needs doing first =)

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:43, Reply)
Does it have a decent karzi?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Mohammed

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:46, Reply)
I miss DiT and his missus.
I hear they died in a freak accident at a Christian amusement park.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:07, Reply)
The words "Christian" and "amusement" rarely fall together in the same sentence

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)
Well, my first name is Christian.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
So that's your point proved, I suppose.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
Wow! I've known you IRL all this time and I didn't know that
It's a new DiT fact every day on here.

How's things sir?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)
Every day?
What have people been saying. It's all lies. Especially the one about the oven ready chicken.

Very well thank you, this time tomorrow I'll be on a sleazyjet plane to sunny Portugal. And then back to service my bike and get ready for a winter on the trails!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
Excellent work sir
I gather it's all happening there what with a new abode and all. Would be ace to catch up for some more biking before everything turns into hub deep gloopy mush.

Actually, if it does we could just cut the bike ride short and head to the pub earlier. Win-win.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:16, Reply)
YOU AND DiT EARLIER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm15CLXM4eM
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
House is coming on fine, thank you!
And mud, then pub, sounds brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)
When do you move?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)
Your surname's not 'O'Connell' is it?
IT FACKIN' BETTER NOT BE, OLD SON.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
'Christian name' lolz

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
The funniest joke I've ever heard:
"OI, CHRISTIAN! Are you a Christian?"
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
My second name is Christian.
My third is James.

HOW WEIRD IS THAT???
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)
My second name is James
Witchcraft.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)
Your second name is not 'James Witchcraft' you fucking CHINNER.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:26, Reply)
Nonono
my THIRD name is Witchcraft
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)
SHIT OFF, RIGHT
Because one of my middle names is James.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)
Oh man.
It's like The Twilight Zone only not quite as utterly shit!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
My dad's third name is James.
how spooky
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
My second name is james, my third is Thomas.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
WHAAAATTTTTT?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)
I DONT GET IT!!!!!!!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)
Your weekend name is Hilda

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)
My second name is James

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)
Well, hello! You fabulous young thing you!
We did die but we were resurrected to show you all the light and glory of our LAWD Jesus Christ.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)
*praises*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)
How are you, Scouse?

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)
All the better for seeing you.
I was going to go to Primark but I might stay here now.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
Primarni, Eh?
No, stay here. At least for 13 mins til I go to the post office. Rock 'n roll.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)
Deal

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)
Sweet, geezer, well sorted. Apples and pears, etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)
Ooh, there's class!
There's a rumour we're finally getting a Primark here in Weston. We're all very excited.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)
Class indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)
Just wait
Once we get ourselves a Primani, I'll be well trendy and cool. People might even believe I'm under 50.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Primark's full of nana blouses

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)
Seems pretty implausible
I can't see many people being taken in with a story like that
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)
What?
So it's not true???
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
If this was QOTW proper he'd have had clicks, tears and congratulatory wanks from everyone by now

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
TO QOTW!
"Messiahs - have you ever been resurrected by the Almighty? Perhaps you had a little time in heaven doing sex on Page 3 Girls before coming down to Earth 'pon a beam of righteous light? Tell us your stories of coming back from the dead."
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)
So moving
*clicks*
*wipes a tear*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)
I can turn water in to wine, you know.
And all the other Jesus tricks.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:15, Reply)
Can you turn water into FUNK!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)
It's spelt, 'Spunk'.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)
No breakfast here either
feel ill.

Alt: I missed a particular friend quite badly when they buggered off to London. They completely sank under the radar, haven't talked to them in ages
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
They sound WELL bent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Yeah it's a pity though

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)
Speaking of which
I just received the gayest text of my life, confirming my appoinment with 'Paris' at 'Vision Hair' tomorrow at 1pm.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)
Getting your wave re-bouffed, are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)
I heard he's going for a Brazilian

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)
Jean-Charles de Menezes lolz

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)
Take it all off the top

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)
I'm getting a hi-top fade (with tram lines) and corn row mullet combo.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)
You'll look like a gay(er) Vanilla Ice.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)
*stops*

*collaborates and listens*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)
*knifes*

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:38, Reply)
NO WITHERSPOON!!!!!11111!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:39, Reply)
No YATES!!!!!!111111!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Good news for mecha bash
it's going to be well hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)
Shame it's in a dark, airless basement.
(it really is)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)
That's alright
when you've closed your eyes after gettign "lost" in the "choons", we'll all fuck off to a beer garden.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)
Yeah good one
'Liberace James Witchcraft Kroney III'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)
Honestly Monty, are you really going to choose more or less _every_ song that gets played? seriously?
Do you happen to know if there are large pavements outside to take up all the people who are going to decide to be smokers for the evening? I'm going to have to bring an extra box of fags probably, because they'll be so many "I don't really smoke, I used too, I donno, I just fancy one, hehe, can I have one of yours? If I buy a whole packet i'll smoke them". Which isn't a problem, to me, if you're female.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:46, Reply)
There is a decent pavement.
A few doors up does the finest salt beef beigel I have ever eaten, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)
There best be chrain on that mofo with some ludkas too.
Are you going to play any normal music at all?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)
None.
Not a 'dirty beat' to be found.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:56, Reply)
Have you got the birdie song?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Yes.
And El Vino Collapso by Black Lace.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)
Have you got anything by 'The Saturdays'?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)
He is hoping you bring your "records" along

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Oh man, this is going to be the very definition of tedium, I'm staying outside for most of it, no offence.
I mean, seriously, nobody like the prick at a house party who insists on playing their CD of 'Counting Crows' who cries half way through one of the songs to seem 'deep' and 'meaningful' to score with the chicks, and then starts "DUDE, DUUUUUDE, JUST ONE MORE SONG" the moment you want put something that, you know, everyone would like.

I swear to god, if one of your hippy mates tells me that I just don't understand the groove or some shit like that, I'll smack them in the mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)
At Needoo's
I'm going to wear a karahi as a hat and fashion some dreadlocks from seekh kebabs.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)
It'll be like that Doritoes advert everyone loved.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)
I'm definitely going to photograph a seekh kebab
bobbing about in the lavatory, and then upload it to ratemypoo.com
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:00, Reply)
Waste of a good kebab.
Well it would be if you didn't eat it afterwards.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)
Just lick the flavour off it first

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Apparently Amberl does this with crisps as part of her weird diet
No eating disorders here
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Certainly not
people with eating disorders are thin.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
You must surely be getting to where you want to be by now?
As far as I can see you've only eaten carrots and soup and crisp-flavouring for quite some time.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)
it was a guy, i thought i was in love with him
He moved away with a woman and married her. Broke my heart.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)
He sounds WELL bent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)
yeah pretty much

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Any man foolish enough to miss out on being with you
is a bigger Deacon than the lord Joey himself.

I knew there were some stupid people out there but I had no idea just how stupid.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)
hahaha :)

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)
That guy is such a bellend it makes what you said yesterday sound nothing like the sort of thing a senile old bellend would say
and more like something a young non-senile person who wasn't a bellend would say.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Bellends like him
give bellends like me (and the whole bellend communnity, for that matter) a bad name. We already struggle with negative PR 'spin' that ends up the press. And then a bellend like him comes swanning in like the end of Big fucking Ben and before you know it.
*BONNNNNGGGGGGGG*
Square one again.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)
Alright, OT? What's going on?
I miss my one of my best mates from university. She lives in Italy now but we were on Skype this morning so THANK YOU TECHNOLOGY. The final outcome is that she hung up because she had to go and do the dishes.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 14:44, Reply)
All recovered from your run?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:48, Reply)

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