The newspaper today
has been a bit of a surprise, full of ups and downs. The little chinesse girl; the german eaten by cannibals... I'm speechless about those two stories.

Then, it seems that Virgin is going to open the new space airport soon. That's brilliant. Not that I can afford a ticket, but I'm hoping I will before I die.

And then the fact that 67% of New Yorkers agree with the Occupacy movement, and 87% are ok with them occupying. I think that's a good new; although I know that not everybody agrees.

So; what have you seen this morning that has left you speecheless? Any good or bad news?

Alt. Have you felt bad and good about the human race at the same time? Why?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:57, 147 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

And some more news
Tenerife has felt the 2nd earthquake of the day. Just a tiny one, yes, but with the underwater volcano in El Hierro going for it, it's a bit unsettling.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I saw the video of the chinese girl yesterday, it made me feel sick and incredibly sad

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I still can't believe it
Even if samaritans are scared that they might be in trouble if they touch the girl, at least call an ambulance.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Have you been reading the The Metro?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Nope, not yet
I save it for the way back home. I've been reading elmundo; but I bet the news are more or less the same.

Then, some days there are no news at all, and today it's like crazy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Worse
The fail - www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049910/Stefan-Ramin-eaten-cannibals-Charred-bones-search-missing-sailor.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Nope
You'll find it in the telegraph too; but I read it in elmundo.es
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

it's lazy journalism, though
I don't know how respected elmundo is, but the telegraph should be ashamed. wholesale story lifting from Bild is a bit like wholesale racial policy lifting from the BNP.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Elmundo is usually pretty good
although yes, they like big tittles and then when you read the news it might not be exactly the same.

I know there are more than a few things to confirm, but I still find it shocking news.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I read "tittles" as "titties"
And assumed it was the spanish equivalent of The Sport.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Which is lifted wholesale from Bild
which is about as much use in accuracy as the Daily Star as a news source.

So, nothing to do with cannibals in the fucking slightest. Christ, they haven't even confirmed the remains are him, let alone how he died.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I thought they'd confirmed the teeth were his?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

The Mail says that Bild says that "although no formal identification has been made
local sources claim the teeth match dental records sent over from Germany"

Which is the journalistic equivalent of "my mate down the pub swears his brother once copped a feel of Debbie Harry's left tit"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

What newspaper?
I can't find any shit about german cannibals. You haven't been reading the Metro, have you?

I'm speechless that the BBC, supposedly a "proper" news site, produces the front page headline "Inflation hits record 5.2%" ... fucking arseholes, it's only "technically" a record because the system for measuring inflation was changed in 1997. Actual inflation was triple that value in the seventies and a lot higher in the eighties.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Doing stats wrong is one of my pet media hates.
The mail today used percentages to describe 10 out of 56.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Not only doing them wrong
But misreading them so that they support what you want.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Here
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/frenchpolynesiatahiti/8830733/Cannibal-fear-over-German-tourist.html

Not confirmed yet, but it's what his girlfriend was told before being raped by some nice guide.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Well, not exactly
Bild have spread horseshit about it maybe being cannibals without the tiniest bit of evidence. They don't even know whose the remains are, although it seems unlikely it isn't him.

Although it's nice to see that shitty english tabloids aren't the only ones to make up "WOAH BAD FORRINS DO BAD THINGS" stories.

And, I realise that this might be splitting hairs somewhat, she wasn't raped.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Mmmm...
I haven't read the English version, in the Spanish one she was raped and then tied to the tree. And the guide told her about the cannibals before doing it. So well, it's just her word, I know. In any case, either if she's making it all up or if it really happen; I still find it shocking. Probably more shocking if she's making it up.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I have no clue why she would make it up
though him telling her about the cannibals might've been to scare her I guess
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Could be
He's nowhere to be found now. Maybe they just really had an accident and he died; but that was his first version of the story and then changed it to the cannibals one; why would he do that?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

ah, fair enough
the English and german versions say "sexually assualted" which is a pretty wide range of possibilites, granted, none pleasant, but most categortically not rape. And I might not have got the German translation spot on, my German is shaky, so it could just be a translation confusion.

It's the cannibals bit that annoys me, there is not one tiniest bit of evidence that anything like that was involved (except, it's south sea island forrins, innit, and we all KNOW they do that)

Probably, the guide killed him and burnt the evidence. It's not nice but "man killed by another man, possibly over woman" is not exactly international news.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Yeah, it could be just that he killed him
The bits about the cannibals is because she was told that. Of course the guide could have been lying, but that's the reason why it's mentioned on the news, not because it's in a forrinland.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

It's mentioned in the news
because the tabloids take the opportunity to get "Cannibal" into the headline as they know more people will read it if it does.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Exactly
That's what I think. The word cannibals is what makes the news, not the fact that it was in the Polynesia.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

And I don't think the news are about
"WOAH BAD FORRINS DO BAD THINGS". It's a story that happened in the Polynesia and that's about as much they talk about forrins there. Maybe you're a bit sensitive about the subject?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

The story is reported in a german tabloid
as being about cannibalism when there is fuck all evidence of it. that strikes me as pretty much outrageous stereotyping of the behaviour of polynesians by the german press, no?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

It's reported like that
because that's what the girlfriend is saying she was told; not because it was in the Polynesia.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Oh come on, do you really believe that?
The giveaway is how it is written. In the Telegraph "attack by cannibals has not been ruled out" (fair enough, a bit over-exaggerated but not too bad)

In Bild and the Mail (directly quoted here) "'It is the suspicion of the authorities that the hunter carved his victim up, ate parts of the body and burned the remainder along with animals cadavers.
He is regarded as a cannibal." ... but conveniently without any evidence or actual quotes from local authorities. That's not journalism, that's xenophobic scaremongering. Oh, and the article title is "Stefan Ramin eaten by cannibals?" Which is hardly a reasonable representation of any facts at all.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

No, I agree with you
That way of "reporting" by the Mail and Bild is just plain dirty and wrong; but I don't think they're trying to be xenophobic there (for a change); just that blood and scare sell more papers than data.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

that's certainly part of it.
but neither paper has missed a chance to hammer home repeatedly that "Polynesia has a history of cannibalism yada yada yada all fucking savages" .. if they were genuinely not using it as an opportunity for a dig at different cultures, that bit wouldn't be necessary.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Oh, well
I think it's just because it happened there; they say (at least in the Spanish version) that the people in the island are shocked and can't understand this has happened.

Now, in the story about the Chinesse girl, they do talk about how bad China is doing, how materialist they are, how comunism has killed people's souls... I find that a lot more xenophobic.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I think that's difference between how Elmundo and the Telegraph reported it
and how Bild and the Mail reported it, which was my point. But, meh, maybe years of exposure to shitty tabloids and their special brand of xenophobia has made me overly sensitive to that kind of thing.

that's interesting in the China one, though, nothing like that has been mentioned in the british stories I've seen, except in direct quotes from chinese people themselves.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Well
As I said, I haven't read the Mail, so you're probably right and they're pointing at foreigners as the bad of everything; they wouldn't miss an opportunity like that.

In the China one, yes, most of the criticism comes from the Chinesse themselves, but I bet it wasn't all of them who think like that. I'd like to know how many of the comments were about the bads of the comunism or materialism; and if they were just a small percentage, why are those the only reported on the paper?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)

As I was discussing with some friends
Similar things happen in Europe too. Not everywhere and not all the time, but you find unsensitive people everywhere (me falling off my bike quite badly and two guys pointing at me and laughing instead of helping). I don't want to believe that the whole of China is rotten; but that most people are scared of helping as they could end up in trouble.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I'm never really suprised by people being shit,
only by them being nice.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Also I just did something exceptionally stupid
I poured the kettle into the pot of coffee rather than my mug, no one saw though so I just threw it in the bin and got another out.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

That would have been
a very strong coffee; would have kept you awake all day.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Alt: Yes definitely
When I used to volunteer with the homeless. Amazed and humbled by the kindness of the volunteers.

Angry with the way some council employees and the police treat some of the homeless. Note I said some. As some genuinely don't want to be on the streets. Other homeless people can be complete cunts.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I used to go with a group of people
who would go to old people's houses and sing to keep them entertained for a bit. They were always so grateful and sweet; and would offer whatever they had to pay for the minutes of happiness (not that we would accept anything) I'd always end up crying.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I didn't see the video of the Chinese girl
I think it would've made me too sick and too sad.

I really hope I get to go into space before I die though.

Alt: Not at the same time really, though I guess the riots and the subsequent cleanup effort came a bit close
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I hope
I can save enough to pay for one of those trips. I'm expecting it to go down in price when they became more popular and they get more spaceships; and so I can go. Maybe in 20 years or so.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)

The only vehicle I'm going into space in is a UFO.
*searches the night sky*
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

When I go on my spaceship
I'll try to find one and convince them to abduct you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Thank you : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:23, Reply)

But I want a souvenier.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

The little Chinese girl story shook me up a bit, absolutely horrible
The last thing that rendered me close to speechless was my quiz partner lasts night, who knew the name of the woman off Corrie who died, but didn't have a clue who Adam Werrity was, because (and I quote), "I don't pay attention to the Conservatives". I genuinely struggled with what to say after that comment. Luckily, not long after I remembered Adam Werrity's name (it was on a picture round. I knew who he was, what he's been up to, why he's been in the news, etc, but his name was escaping me at that moment).

Alt: There's one story that fills me with both mild pity and hysteria at the same time - and that's this one
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I have only just heard about the chinese girl and read the article.
It's appalling. I don't know if I am more upset about this now than I would have been as I have a daughter, but I genuinely feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Link?
I have no clue what you lot are talking about.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Little chinese girl run over twice
while people just watch and pass by. A woman who passes, finally pulls her to the side
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

And she's been criticised
in a similar thing to twitter, for doing it just to get the attention. Those people are sick.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

It is sickening
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/8830790/Chinese-toddler-run-over-twice-after-being-left-on-street.html
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

He's been watching the Dark Knight

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Why that story?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Hit and run of a toddler on CCTV
16 people walked past before someone helped her.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I think he means the story AA linked.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I did indeed.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Sadly, that's a crap link, I couldn't find the original
Basically, the bomber had explosives stuffed up his arse, pretended to surrender, made it all the way to the prince, and proceeded to blow himself up. However, he hadn't realised quite how effective the human body is at dampening explosions. So, he exploded, and the prince only ended up with a couple of cut fingers.

The sentence "I did not want him to be searched, but he surprised me by blowing himself up," just makes it even better.

TL;DR - Crap suicide bomber kills no-one but himself.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

didn't he shove the bomb up his arse?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

editied.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Ahh, yes
Sorry, realised I didn't clarify that above.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I tihnk he stitched into his stomach

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

IIRC, he'd stuffed plastic explosives up his arse

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Piece of news
I wish I'd known about this sooner, I might have turned up to it www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15316678
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I haven't read anything by him
Have you? Is he good?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Bought a book by him about seven or eight years ago
read nearly everything now. He is excellent, I had no idea a new book of his was coming out. Almost tempted to travel to London for it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Sounds interesting I'll have a look for some of his stuff of Amazon.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Never Let Me Go was good.
But it wasn't so good that I was desperate to read everything else by him. I'm far more gripped by the second "Fire and Ice" book.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Al that's by Kazuo Ishirurgo
who is also good.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

God, AL IS SUCH A RACIST

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

It's true, I saw a vaguely oriental looking guy
and I assumed it was the same one.

Is this other guy any good then?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

He's excellent
probably one of the only authors that when I see a book of his I haven't read, I just buy from a bookstore rather than online
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Definitely worth it
His two best books (for me anyway) are 'The WindUp Bird Chronicles' and 'Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World' but almost everything is worth a read.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Dance Dance Dance for a quid is that worth it?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Yes, it's good
not as good as the two above, but still interesting
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Nice
I've been looking for something new to read, so I might get one of his. I don't think I'll have much time for reading in the next months, tough, so I might wait.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

He has a book of short stories
which are pretty good to dip in and out of. I think they're called Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

That might be the one for me, then
I'll have a look. Thanks!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Looks interesting.
Also read this. Different to Murakami but very enjoyable.

www.amazon.co.uk/Vagrants-Yiyun-Li/dp/0007196652/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1318930466&sr=1-1
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Don't read this
www.amazon.co.uk/New-Death-others-ebook/dp/B005Q8Q8DY/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1318930624&sr=1-6

The reviews are terrible, even the one who is trying to be nice only gives it 2 stars.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

That looks really interesting
will keep an eye out for it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Pfft! I will send it to you.
Gaz me address.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)

This is going to turn into a book exchange
when you're done with the Guillemo del Toro, and your current book, I'll send you a random Murakami. At last count I had seven books of his
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Ooo thanks hon.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

It's been so long that I don't read anything...
I used to read 3-4 books at the same time, as only one would bore me. Now I only go for quick magazines (not Hello type magazines, at least) and short stories. I'm ashamed of myself.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I am also ashamed of you.
Hope this helps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

It does
normally we don't agree on what's good or bad, so if you're ashamed of me it means I'm not doing as bad as I though.

Thanks.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I've just been watching The Gong Show Movie
not entirely sure how I feel about it. Surprisingly it's the only show worth viewing at this time of the morning. *yawns*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

They made a movie of the Gong Show???
Also, mornin, K-Dawg.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Yes, they did. It's called "The Gong Show Movie". It's a bit shit.
Mornin' Roo-Roo-Roota
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Is it set in the 70s?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Released in 1980, the description says "A TV host and his girlfriend seek relief from his show and its zany would-be contestants"

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Oh my god so it's not new?
I have to bloody see this.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Nope, it even looks old and everything
they've had a bit of performing and everything
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Do you remember it too?
Wasn't it ace.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Yeah, Channel Four re-ran it in the 80s didn't they.
We used to howl.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

OH MY GOD this woman on here is wearing a shirt that says make me an offer
I need that shirt
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Why?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

how will they know I'm up for offers otherwise?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

According to Chompy desperate women smell of desperation.
So they know already.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I'm hardly desperate, Beej.
If that were the case my shirt would say "looking for offers"
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Good to hear.
You have youth on your side.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I used to love the Gong show.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)

My favorite old tv show is Match Game

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind?
Or is there another one?


edit: Oh wow, I just googled it, I want to see that now!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I don't know what this is
but I'm replying to you anyway.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

The Gong Show was like America's not got talent, in the olden days.
It was proper wrong and boss.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I see, I can imagine you knowing that
what with you being old and all. Being all young and sprightly and not having a dodgy hip, I wouldn't know that.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I have a dodgy hip at the mo.
because of this, along with various other injuries, I can conclude that exercise is not for me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Exercise is Great.
I'm going to run over 3 miles tonight.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Does walking 2 miles count?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Only if it got your heart pumping.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Exactly
if you aren't breathing quickly and raising a sweat, you're not moving fast enough.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Old ladies walk swifter than I do
I can't seem to get any momentum
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:21, Reply)

ew

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

it's shit and dangerous

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'm going to exercise your fiance on friday night.
If you know what I mean.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

he hasn't seen me for almost two weeks
so it's likely he might hump your leg.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:57, Reply)

We are going to go to a strip club and I'll buy him a private dance.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Greetings, Krizzo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Oh Monty Monty Mingleton
*pounces*

How are you?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Super-shit.
I might even go as far as to say mecha-shit - possibly even turbo-shit.

I am ill and stressed and boo hoo boo hoo woe is me.

How're you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

all of what you said there
but I'm not old so it's okay
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Why are you so stressed out K?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

It's you, Al.
You're doing her lid in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I can believe that.
I'm an awful human being. It's all I can do right now to avoid mentioning the fact that you're old, going grey and nearly bankrupt.

And I've not even managed to do that. That's how awful I am.

To redeem myself I let a b3tan stay in my spare room last night.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

ew why would you do that?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

She let me sleep on her floor last month, so I thought I'd return the favour.
We went for sushi and she apologised in advance if she woke us up with her breast pump in the night.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

christ

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

So he could eat their packed lunch whilst they slept.
And so he could comb their pillow after they left this morning, and, sobbing folornly, try to glue their hairs to his gleaming pate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

:(

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Sorry Al but it was funny.
You have to take it if you like to give it out.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

All over your face?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)

YEAH BABY!!

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

this is so disturbing

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

can't pay my bills, Al
I figure when I get to NY I will spend a portion of the time hooking, and so then I will be caught up
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)

I heard the hookers in New York are paved with gold.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)

6 am too early to have nachos?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Nope, perfect time I reckon.
Breakfast of champions.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Well that makes one of us.
*cries old-person tears*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

*catches in glass jars*
*sells to museums for jew gold*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

...thus completing the cycle of irony once again....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

it's too early for me to understand this joke

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)