That thread's too long
don't make me start the 100 replies bbc news link thing again.

I've been kept up at night for the last week with the sound of teenage girls screaming and not in a good way. The fair is in town. I hate the fucking fair, but it does mean there's a big fireworks display this weekend which I will enjoy.

What are you up to this weekend. Then i can ask you on friday and compare answers.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:15, 160 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Fireworks fireworks fireworks!
and a bonfire. I fucking love this time of year.
(berk, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I do as well,
the firework display near me is great, maybe a little too great as there are about 30,000 people watching and they close my road and stuff.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Fucking hell, that's impressive.
The one at Congleton is pretty damn good, it's the only decent thing the council ever do.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Back home there's a competition
five international standard display teams send up about £20k each of fireworks set to music. I fucking love it, but the crowds make it such a ballache. This year I'm just going to the local rotary one, and I'll prance about a bit in the garden with some sparklers.
(berk, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Sounds fun,
they tried setting it to music for a few years here but never really works, after you get a few hundred meters back. Now they just seem to blow shit up for a while.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I'm not picky
as long as they're better than fireworks I can buy in the shops at home, it's frosty out and I've got something sticky to eat, I'm content.
(berk, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

"and the theme of this year's display is Basra"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Edinburgh's is usually good
but it's kicked into a cocked hat by the one they do to close the festival, which is syncronised with a full orchestra. So I think I'll get drunk instead.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:32, Reply)

haha nice sig you twat

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Where did this comefrom
Always up for a bit of stirring, me.
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

no worries
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1396124#post1397314
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:09, Reply)

haha
you two.
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:13, Reply)

oh yeh, this an all
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1397346
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I don't get that one
were they talking about the same thing?
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:27, Reply)

yer that was al pointing out my post
as if it were hiding and shit. using invisible internets
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:33, Reply)

My weekend is starting on Thursday, as I'm off to Wolverhampton to see Incubus
Friday, I might be off to Altrincham, but I'm not sure yet, and I'm either in Levenshulme or somewhere else (which I can't remember atm) on Saturday.

Should be a good weekend.

Then again, if Friday falls through, I'll go to my local, as there's a rapper there who has just done a song with Dan Bull, so that should be good.

I fucking hate fairs, chav fests run badly by idiots. No thanks.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Dan Bull is smug as fuck, I wish he would shut up.
Toptip: Just because you can make your opinion rhyme doesn't make it worthwhile.
edit: while my time

SEE I CAN FUCKING DO IT
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:20, Reply)

I highly doubt I'd have heard him if he wasn't a b3tan
But I like what I've heard. Then again, I can see where you're coming from.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I'm going to see a photographer and get some pictures taken.
Then probably sit indoors with the music on loud to drown out the fireworks and stop the dog going (more) mental
(DeeDee, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:21, Reply)

You don't have a facebook, so pictures are worthless.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:22, Reply)

these are definitely not the type of pictures to be put on facebook...
or anywhere that family/friends/colleagues might see them
(DeeDee, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:24, Reply)

*obligatory pander*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I think you can spot the women on b3ta from these deliberatly vague posts
oh what sort of photos are they?
Oh I couldn't tell you that
Oh gooo on
Nooo I'm embarrassed

fuck off beaker.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Hahahahahaa

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

The fact AA and Quixote replied is fucking textbook as well.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:31, Reply)

+I

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)

lolololol

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Jumping in here to give support to the comrade bashing.

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

hahaha,
I'm sorry you don't like it. Does it spoil the surprise for you if you know what women look like under their clothes before you rape them?
(DeeDee, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Cor you must be doin twat shots for your prossie site
how much for a terrible blowjob, last time we stopped at 11p
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:37, Reply)

It angers him
But informing a group of people that is statistically 72% sweaty-handed virgin that you're about to have some "laminated" shots done is definitely borderline behaviour on the polka-dot knickers scale
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:38, Reply)

BRACE YOURSELF

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

why, are you coming in dry?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:40, Reply)

bwooooork

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:42, Reply)

sorry, I'd erased the actual contents of the thread itself
well played, though. Textbook DM.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:48, Reply)

you like what you see

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I dunno Ro, she won't show us her shots!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:44, Reply)

here you go
www.humboldtmfg.com/images/products/large/H-4911.050.jpg
(DeeDee, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I'm unaware what that scale is,
but I don't see it as any worse than what others share on here. He should chill out.
(DeeDee, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I am very chilled out.
I reserve the right to take the piss out of people I think are looking for attention online.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:44, Reply)

riddled with attention seeking housewhales over here
some day a real rain will come
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:48, Reply)

It won't.
There'll just be a new turnover every year. Like moths to a flame.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Aye, and when I point it out they call me a rapist.
I think if you do a search for "chompy rapist", you'll always find an example of me being right ONLINE as the previous post.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

or, occasionally, you being a bit of a creepy racist.
let's be fair.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I think you'll find that's few and far between.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I have to admit the instances of Chompy actually being a creepy racist
are massively outweighed by the needless references to the same
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:57, Reply)

yeah, but see the problem with that is the Owen scenario
"See all those dry stone walls? I built them all, by hand, 20 miles of them, but do they call me Owen the dry stone waller? No.

See the boats in the little harbour? I built them with my bare hands, but do they call me Owen the boatbuilder? No.

See my family? I raised 5 beautiful, strong children to be hardworking and respectful, but do they call me Owen the father? No.

But you shag ONE sheep..."
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

There's a similar story about an architect

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Fair enough.
you asked a question, I answered it honestly. If that's beakering, so be it, but I would hardly say I had previous for it, you don't hear me telling everyone about all the HOT SWEATY SEX I had with my GORGEOUS BOYFRIEND of a monday morning
(DeeDee, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Nah, that's usually the overpaid fat girls

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

oh boreoff fucktard

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

The thought of internetperson sweat has just made me boke.

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:05, Reply)

the scale comes from this very creepy /talk exchange
www.b3ta.com/talk/5532580
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I only noticed it was podka the other day when rosalicious mentioned it.
I just thought she'd spelt it wrong.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

i was there man :(
praise allah for gmos
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

My word that's unpleasant

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Fucking hell

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

so not clicking that

(DeeDee, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:50, Reply)

just text

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:52, Reply)

It's talk
so no pictures, you can't put anything but text in talk threads. Can't get you in trouble, although might make you feel queasy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:52, Reply)

but don't you see?
you might be attractive. This presents more of a problem than general beakering. It's a delicately balanced see-saw, after all, if people pander then there is just the tiniest possibility that they might get to see a soft-focus shot down the line. On the other hand, the reverse-psychology of the "call-out" might be the better route.

however somehow I believe, Double-D, that the balance here shall tip in the favor of sweaty pandering, like a big fat fucking retarded fucking black girl on the see-saw opposite... a dwarf.

You should probably be glad you missed the polka-dot-knickers thing, mind you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

It's a fucking fairy-tale fucking town

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Thanks for that, mate.
I was just thinking I might have to qualify the quote before everyone assumed I was a racist as well as a cunt.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Anyone who hasn't seen In Bruges is unworthy of having their opinion heard

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Excellent film
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.

Harry: [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Exactly the bit I was just thinking of
You retract that about my cunt fucking kids!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Probably my favourite black comedy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:14, Reply)

It's a great film
I liked the coked up midget.
(berk, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I think there should be a grand b3ta thread where everyone is forced to post a photo of themselves.

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Brilliant idea
What do any of us need with our eyes anyway
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)

hahaha. Nice.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Wasn't there an excellent /talk thread where everyone posted a "good" photo of themselves?
I lolled heartily at that thread.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Er...
don't most of us know what each other looks like anyway?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

You all look like this

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I don't remember that
We should definitely do one of those on OT and post bash pictures of people that refuse.
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:07, Reply)

There hasn't been a good photo of me in years
Bashes simply confirm this, especially when I'm wearing that stupid fucking t-shirt.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:12, Reply)

At least you are learning

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I still have no fucking idea why I took that t-shirt

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Sorry dude, we can't all be Wormulus

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Apart from Quentin

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Not me
Last I heard, /talk had figured this out and decided that it was Frisbee Adam.
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:28, Reply)

That was the popular conclusion here too
But, you know, you turn up, he disappaears... where there's smoke...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:32, Reply)

A list
www.b3ta.com/talk/7352415

There are at least a dozen people that NEVER LEAVE b3ta, it could be one of them.
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Ooooh, that seems like effort
I'll leave the more experienced to work it out, chances are it's someone I've never heard of anyway
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It's not Frisbee Adam,
he never bothered with /offtopic and didn't know any of us.
It's someone who visits both boards a lot. I'm thinking either the truth fairly or Rory lyon.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:33, Reply)

His parroting does remind me of Rory at his most vindictive
but Rory is generally more inventive and cutting than that feckless twat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:36, Reply)

You start.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:21, Reply)

sure, I'll make a new thread.

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Done
Come on, don't be shy.
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of sweaty handed virgins just spluffed into their pants.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)

hahaha, POTD.
Actually, chompy's isn't bad either, but I think you get the "succinct win" prize.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:31, Reply)

My weekend will be dull but worthy family stuff
Centring around my mother's birthday and the return of my son from Florida.

I'm really liking the extra hour stuff, I think we should do it every weekend.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Going to see the English National Ballet dance to Gershwin.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I've always wanted to go to see the ballet,
mainly because I'm pretentious.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Brace yourself for a shock;
we went to the Ballet recently. It was very impressive indeed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I loves it.
This will be quite 'light' because it's Gershwin, so it'll have lots of Fred and Ginger stuff. Contemporary's good if you've never been. Akram Khan, look out for him. Does musical collaborations with Nitin Sawhney and that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Gotta love a bit of Gershwin
We went to see a production of Top Hat last week (yes I know that was Irving Berlin), very entertaining. It's still touring. The ensemble pieces are terrific, although it stars Tom Chambers as Jerry, and he's not QUITE Fred Astaire.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:42, Reply)

my mate went to see it in Salford and now it's not coming ANYWHERE near me again.
Fuming.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Just watch the film again
Best screen musical EVAR
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I watched it two weeks ago!
I prefer Gene as a dancer though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

BLASPHEMY
Not that I couldn't watch Le Kelly for hours, obviously, but I prefer Fred because of the chemistry he had with Ginger and later with Cyd Charisse.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Gene and Syd though!!!
I think Fred was technically spot on but Gene had that little extra sass and flare. And a gorgeous bum.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Hahaha
That's a very fair appraisal. I think I'm more inclined towards liking Fred for exactly that reason, the flawless technique, and the superb partnerships. Comes of being a Ballroom dancer. Or a poof.

Mind you, Fred never danced with a cartoon mouse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

My Mum and sister took me to the 'theatre' when they visited me in London
I didn't know what we were going to see, I knew I was in for a treat when we got off the tube at Victoria.

We saw Billy Elliot.
I secretly enjoyed it
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'm going to see Billy Elliot with my Mum and sister in January
Your reputation will not fare well by this comparison
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I've got another hockey double-header.
and I think possibly I'm out on sat night. That, and I must get round to reading the PhD thesis I have to viva in a couple of weeks.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)

We played hockey at school,
the amount of people who class it as a "girlie game", is fucking annoying. It's sodding hard, involving wooden sticks and balls. We played it on the beach, which was even worse.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I thought that Hockey
was invented to get girls used to handling wood and balls...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:29, Reply)

i used to love the fair
but now i look at all the rides held up with bricks and scrap and i shit my pants.

this totally means im officially old
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

"I'm a different person... tuuuurned my world aroun world aroun"
I like the visiting fairs better than big scary rides. I like the waltzers, and the one that's a bench that swings round and one person gets squashed. Cyclone?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:42, Reply)

The guy who did that used to pester one of my colleagues to work with him (he's a DJ, he didn't suddenly decide he wanted to work with plastic cards)
Then, he released that, and doesn't seem to be as keen to collaborate anymore.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:44, Reply)

god remember the cage?
mightve been called the hearts and diamonds or some shit. where it tipped and spun you round so fucking fast you were held on only by the power of SPEED
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I never went NEAR that. my mum did.
I know a girl who wasn't strapped in properly. Only her jeans saved her and they were all ripped.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

there werent any straps
some saucy fuckers used to flip themselves upside down and all sorts
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Well she had a belt, but it wasn't working, but by coincidence her jeans had got hooked on something.
It's true it happened it did and then a muslim woman said 'don't go into town on Saturday..."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)

You mean 'The Chip Pan'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:55, Reply)

haha wot?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

That's what that thing was called in my youth.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

ah i dunno
like big open round open topped cage what spun round then tipped on its side. fucking terrifying
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)

That's the one.
At its apex a strobe would go off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Fairs are disgusting gyppo-fests.
Fireworks (unless we're talking about Paris Millennium-scale affairs) are shit. I gain no pleasure at all from standing in a freezing field with a bunch of peasants going 'ooh' and 'ahh'. Bonfires are bent but at least some working class children will be blinded, I suppose.

When I was a teenager we would take magic mushrooms and go to the Winchester fireworks display and then spend the whole time panic-strickenly scanning the crowd for our parents. Fucking stupid really.

I have no weekend plans.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Monty, you old caricature, shurrup and have a can of Skol.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Only if it's Skol Super. I have standards, you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Shurely Stupor?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

White lightening surely?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Make that Fosters.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I am sure there is a correlation between a fair being in town and an increase in the local crime rate at that time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Of course there is.
The night before the fair leaves, so do all the local kids' bikes and everyone's lawn mowers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

And the power tools in my garage about five years ago.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:48, Reply)

They needed them to build illegal settlements on green belt land and war cemetaries

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:09, Reply)

You should go and post this in the racism QotW

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I'm pretty certain that "people who operate unsafe dodgems"
Have not yet be classifed as a race by the UN. It might, granted, only be a matter of time of course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Ha ha.
Also the QOTW is about grandparents. I am pretty certain that none of my grandparents worked at a fair.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I actually meant to reply to Monty's post above this

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I'm not a grandparent.
I just look like one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Is there any truth in the claim that Saxondale is in fact a documentary about you?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:04, Reply)

hahahahaha
this is doubly funny because the character was a twat and the program wasn't funny
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I disagree on both points

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Not only is that 100% true
but the 'Creme Brulee' chap from the League of Gentlemen is also based on me. It's a shit business.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:08, Reply)

God that's a depressing episode

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Never seen it, but will take your word.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Fuck knows.

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Did you manage to get some bread?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Nope
My housemate gave me a flapjack and a banana when I asked him if he'd brought me a present from his climbing trip so I ate those instead.

I'm just going to drink loads of sugary tea and apply for jobs until my DOLE money comes in on Thursday.
( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I've got a jar of peanut butter somewhere, I guess I could just eat that.

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Are you STILL unemployed, what's worng with you man?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I've no idea

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Tried the NHS?
www.jobs.nhs.uk/
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Oh good another civil servant on the gravy train
what are you, Greek?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Better than the dole.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:29, Reply)

It's called job seeker's allowence, you don't want the poor dears to feel worthless

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Very true.
I would go so far as to say that almost anything is better than the dole. Apart from maybe cold call sales on a commission only basis. Actually, any cold call sales work, salaried or not. Christ that must be a grim way to earn a living.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:31, Reply)

They're the modern day version of going down t' mines.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Only less pleasant.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:33, Reply)

And the coal hates you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I've never done this,
but have worked on a tarot line , whilst at uni.
It was great, the main problems were money, kids and love life. Considering that it was a premium rate phone line, the "money" problem thing seemed rather ironic.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Pfft.
The thought of cold calling would suck the life out of me pretty quickly.

"Hello, I'm calling from company X, and we have an amazing array of shit that you don't really need but which we're going to try and convince you is the best thing since sliced butter".

"Please fuck off".

"kthxbai"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I actually enjoy calls from conservatory salespeople.
I live on the 6th floor, and find a perverse pleasure in stringing them along for 10 minutes or so.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:40, Reply)

so what exactly is a "good" way for TEENAGE girls to scream, coming from a guy who is nearly 30?
you should have worn this post to your halloween party. it would have been the scariest costume there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

hahaha

( WormuIus, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 11:11, Reply)