Guys let's rap about historical figures. It'll be mad tight.


Back up Socrates, Plato's in the place
Out-thinkin' motha fuckers with intelligent grace.
Aristotle & Alexander ain't got shit on me
I'm basicly the founder of Western philosphy

Athens, Greece where I held my own
Chillin' out maxin' and smoking home grown
In my spare time I fucking founded academies
Your bullets can't scar me man, no nigger's as bas as me

Travelled all over, makin' my name
Don't fuckin' step to me cus I got game
I've been to Sicily, Egypt, Cyrene and Italy
Been dead two thousand years and nobody's as ill as me

Wrote 2 many fuckin' works 2 even mention
But listen up bicthes let me grab your attention
My most famous motha-fucker I dubbed 'The Republic'
You ain't heard of that you can suck my fucking dick.

Many came after but lacked the insight
So listen up bitches, my rhymes be too tight
Aristotle mother-fucker's got a long way to go
Cus there ain't no bitches better than a fucking Plato.

Yeeeeeahhhhhhhh

Out.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:06, 72 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Righteous!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:11, Reply)

May I just say, that as a former student of philosophy, I like this very much.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Maybe you'd like to do one on Socrates and we can battle to the death?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Philosophy I can do (just about, kinda), rap I cannot
But I do like the idea.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Ey yo Plato ya homo, watch me grab deez
You're a shit-talking bender, I'm Pericles.
While you were hangin' out with boys and trying to cop feels
I was perpetratin' democratic ideals

I may have a misshapen skull but yo fuck it
You're worse than Diogenes and his fuckin' bucket.

*B-Boy stance*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Ah well, I liked it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Imma cut you up pericles and make you bleed
You dun fucked up athens with money and greed
I'm sure I ain't the only one that mother-fucking hates ya
And I expected better rhymes from a fucking orator

The first citizen of athens can be the first to suck my dick
And the way you spent our money man it fucking makes me sick.
When your power started waning man you fucking went to war
And enjoyed a spell of popularity for a decade or more
But you're time is up man you've got nowt else to say
Yo go call up your niggas man, continue being gay.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:24, Reply)

This is brilliant, Have a gold star .

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:26, Reply)

are you reading the same thing i'm reading? i am so lost

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:31, Reply)

May I just say
that I am utterly heartbroken that I have a horrendous deadline here as I would dearly love to BATTLE YO SORRY AZZ for the rest of the day.

CURSES.

Another time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:27, Reply)

You lose.
I declare Miko the winner.

I er... have no authority in this contest
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:30, Reply)

i don't like mike was ere

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Stop it, that makes you look petulent.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:16, Reply)

what?
i don't know who you are or what you're doing, this is a very frightening experience for me
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Have you done a wee in your jammies?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:25, Reply)

what kidn of wee?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:28, Reply)

A wee wee

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:33, Reply)

haven't done one yet but I do really need to go
gonna hold it in til i get home tho, no point in goin now
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:43, Reply)

so what
he's making me laugh and trust me it's been a while.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Hi Mike

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Kim Jong Ill
Me and Lenin have been spittin ryhmes for the same team
Dictators with an Attitude, we're hot in this fuckin' scene
You've been thinkin I'm out this bitch, health declinin'
Kim Jong Ill is here to say North Korea keep smilin'
Take a ride in my fly whip, come check out my livin space
If you drop troops in my hometown I'll ejac in your fuckin face
My foreign relations are iffy, and that's at the very best
IF you come and spit ryhmes with me you rap with the best of the rest
I'm going to keep this poo poo for you short and sweet
Kim Jong Ill up in this bitch fuckin raisin the heat
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:17, Reply)

I stole this.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Yo yo....yo...wassup....
Hitler in the place it's a fucking disgrace
Conning motha-fuckers, tryin to end the jewish race
My country done fucked up in war I had to make ammends
Made up a lie about Wiemar that my niggas can defend
Highjacked a national feeling man and turned it to my cause
Went round sharking Jews and ting like something out of Jaws
Den shit got really serious man fuckers dun took notice
They tried to fucking kill me man well they can fuckin' stroke dis
I got lucky one or two times and escaped assassination
But then got carried away and incurred the wrath of a nation.
I had no beef with the U.S man keep your shit that you worked hard for
So I was fucking livid when that shit happened to pearl harbour
I knew the game was up son, shit started getting meaner
I dun packed up my fucking things and moved to Argentina.*



*Allegedly
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Awesome.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Fresh out ze Berlin it’s ze A.D.O.L.F., and I’m
Comin’ at Lenin, and his buddies on ze left.
You claimin’ you’re dictators? More like dick-takers,
‘Cause white makes right and Trotsky’s a faker.

I’m ridin’ with v2’s over 6 million Jews, and
you communistas vanna goosestep to zis?
Thinkin’ it’s so easy to take on lil’ Heezy?
Man get outta Siberia, your brain is freezy.

So I’ll keep smilin’ so long as you keep Heilin’,
Got a problem vith zat Lenin? Better go and start dialin’
Someone who vill listen, my SS ain’t missin’,
Comin’ runnin’ gunnin’ for any motherfucker that’s dissin’.

My rhymes are like a book burning – so hot.
Think not? Zat potato vodka’s given you brain rot,
‘Cause there ain’t no party like a Nazi party
And zis Artistic Arian is ze cream of ze crop.

So hold back ze applause, pack your bags, start runnin’,
My Tiger Tanks are ‘Kriegen toward Moscow and London.
Americans ain’t doin’ poo poo, not unless zey get hit
At Pearl Harbour, but it’s not like ze Japs will do zis…
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Damn I wish I could to a come back from Stalin, but I have not an ounce of 'street' in me.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:40, Reply)

'Bournville Boulevard' more like

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:56, Reply)

This is sadly true.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Wat up my man Hitler, Goebbels up in here
Don't want any controversy about me being queer
So let me lay it down for you here real quick
If you don't hate Jews well you can just suck my -
Yo yo, interjection, don't wanna contradict
So let's get back to Jews man they fucking make me sick
See you and me man, we share a fucking passion
And some say mine is bigger than yours, eh yo, quit laughin
I ain't talking bout our pieces man I'm speaking anti-semitics
And since the war was through every historians a critic
Was I the biggest player in our Jewish retribution?
I fucking done real pushed for a final solution
We exhausted possibilities, what to do with them, I ask ya?
We lock em all up and fucking ship em to madagascar?
Yo, yo, that shits mental brau I got a better plan
We herd em up in trains and shit and send them to the man
But big G-Zee sure won't like the mother fucks who killed his son
So down they go to satan man and he can spank their bums.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:47, Reply)

This is both mental and fantastic.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Mentastic?
Or fantal?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Are you mocking the greeks debt crisis?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Dem crazy greek bitches be trippin' holmes.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Let me tell you of a guy who got a bad rap, maybe long dead but he's coming back.
Turns out that eignstine didn't have shit on me, because I'm the truth father of modern electricity.
I was 92 years old when I eventually died, but this wasn't in the 21st century where I reside,
I was pretty much was responcible for the second industrial revolution, 'cus I came up with the main sollution.
I came up with quite a few patients in my time, and consipracy theorists think of me all the time.
Some say I'm responcible for the Tunguska Event, 30 megatons this fat cat did vent.

If people went ahead and listened to me, we'd have unlimted, wireless electricity.
If people are downloading this wirelessly, then you can only thank one and that's me.
If people read some books written facticiously, they'll say I used, alien technology.
If you're reading this on a bullet train, chances are that I'm to blame,
If you use an induction motor, yup, that's me, I'll gloat-Ha !

So Eignstine, Eddison and Bell come and I'll test ya' , fuck off you cunt 'cus I'm Nikolas Tesla.

Sorry, that wasn't very good.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:57, Reply)

It was pretty good.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I didn't make up the following history-person raps, I but I really really like these
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8zi7vcnjVc - Dan Le Sac v Scroob Pip: Tommy C
www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2kyNbZc7oc - Horrible Histories - Charles II: King of Bling
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:00, Reply)

That second one is just Monty.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Nice one Gonz, raising the tone .

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:01, Reply)

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Whenever I see your username it makes me think of mooncups for some reason
sorry about that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:04, Reply)

*bins strawberry cheesecake*

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Hi Noel, how's tricks?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Not too bad ol boy, spent the day with a good friend, chatted bollocks for a few hours, just settling down with a glass of Strongbow, munchies and Family Guy.
How's your shit?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Now bad, got a quiet week ahead of me
which is good as things keep breaking and needing to be fixed. Looking forward to my little one returning at the weekend and Motorhead the weekend after that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:15, Reply)

I detect a hint of trenchfoot.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:04, Reply)

That pose he's pulling just makes me think of this
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:19, Reply)

That's excellent but Alexander has a reply
What'chu talking about man
I'm the dude with the plan
Conquered all Greece
with astounding ease.

That ain't enough for a mofo like me
so you can suck your philosophy
Socrates was my homie anyway
back up a step let him enter the fray

Fuck you and your shadow caves
cos I be racking Persia, and taking my slaves
Where's your gold and your bling?
Philosophy hasn't brought you any fucking thing

And man with your boys, get arrested for that
while my wife no 2, well she is well phat
Dude who knows you, is your face on a coin
I'd like to see your pathetic rejoin

The history within is good, but I can't rap for shit
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:10, Reply)

*says "Greeze" out loud*
*chuckles*
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Sssh

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo
It's on, Plato!

Choke choke choke!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

And yes the last verse is even more shit

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Was it greek mythology you do? Or was that Lampito?
I really want to read up on the Titans and Dieties and all that, but I want it written in a story.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Lampito does Classics yeah
I did some of it as part of my degree
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Bitches be all up in my cranium
Cos I discovered polonium and radium
I glow in the dark for you all to see
Don't you wish your girlfriend was radioactive like me?
*throws shapes*
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:13, Reply)

*catches triangle*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:14, Reply)

wtf is this shit?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

My crew maybe mortals looking towards Ascension, but why the fuck, ain't we worth a mention?
We'll start with Aucus who's story started in death, across the river of hadies was where he went.
You better hope that you ain't filled with dread, 'cus he is the judge, of the dead.


..... Sorry, I just started reading this for some research for a little rap, and it's distracted me, it's really fucking cool. www.theoi.com/greek-mythology/deified-mortals.html
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:26, Reply)

Gonna cut in right there
To call out Daguerre
Yeah I'm deffo gonna snipe
coz I made the calotype
You made a one off photo process
And now everbody knows this
ain't a long term strategy
To start photography
Coz my negative's more positive
I don't mean to be argumentative
But for way more than a century
The people will remember me
while you're stuck in obscurity
and I think you died from mercury
now watch me do the robot
coz i'm william hen-ery fox talbot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:29, Reply)

I am trying
To image 'Fresh n Fly' performing these.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:29, Reply)

je suis desole mais il est temps pour vous de quitter
c'est moi, le Roi de angoisse, votre idees Grec sont shitter
je suis le plus sage homme de la rue
et je suis commin attcha
a votre nemesis dit bienvenue
je m'appelle JEAN PAUL SATRE
( vladimir, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:33, Reply)

sick rhymes, dude

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Until my encounter with a Lampost
I was the dictator who controlled the most.
My support for Hitler wasn't much use
All my people knew me as Il deuce
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:38, Reply)

And all you little fluffy OTers were so afraid of the big bad /talk
Look at what Mike here has done in two posts, this and catchphrase. Given you some of the best threads for quite a while.
Don't listen to the meme brigade on /board, /talk is full of klass.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:46, Reply)

He has
he has also generated some of the worst rhymes ever in response
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:46, Reply)

and i think we have proved with our sick
rhymes that us niggas ain't no fluffy-ass weaklings and be diggin' it wit ya hommies all up in ya grill

(I'm not entirely sure what I said there, btw)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:49, Reply)

We're dispelling myths all over the place. WORD.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:51, Reply)

YEAH, BRO!
*crosses arms aggressively*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:53, Reply)

We're dispelling myths all over the place. WORD.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Say it again, yo!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Oh it totally is.
I lurk more there than I post here.¬
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:58, Reply)

It's a good point actually.
if we put half as much effort into creating worthwile posts as we did into whining about it being shit and not as good as it used to be, it would be a lot better around here.

*fails to create anything worthwhile*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 19:10, Reply)

West Amstetten, Austria born inbred
In the basement is where I was continually fed
Chilling out maxing talking to mah sista/motha
And then pops'd come down the stairs and burn my baby brotha
But then when I fell unconscious, got taken to a doctor
They got all suspicious, found out where he had locked her
The police questioned Fritzl, he seemed a decent feller
Until it turned out he'd locked most his family in his cellar.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 17:48, Reply)