Are you happy with your bank?
I'm thinking of changing from HSBC because of their ridiculous policy on withdrawing cash from your account.

Does anyone have any really good tips on banks I should think about moving to? I use internet banking a lot so a good website is a must.

Alternatively, there is a woman in an office down the corridor from me who is having a conversation on a speaker phone, with her office door open, so I can hear both sides of the conversation, is this not a bit rude? Tell me about rude people in your place of work, or, if you're like Davros and a massive sponger, about rude people on your street.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:49, 174 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oh boy, it's come to this
sympathy reply to my own post.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Nothing says 'interesting thread' like a questions about personal banking...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)

It's almost like posting a list of all the reasons why I feel ill
and why I can't afford to by supernoodles for my attractive partner who will soon realise what a deadbeat she's living with.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

One of my housemates was cooking super noodles the other day
I commented that something smelled good, he told me what it was, I felt dirty.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Super noodles, with some bacon
on toast, covered in cheese, hold under grill for a few minutes while cheese melts and bubbles, scoff.

Sometimes I miss being a student.

Then I remember that I like having money, and the fact that people don't despise me.

Until they get to know me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I used to do chicken super noodles with crappy Tesco value chicken fillets
Fairly filling meal that cost about 75p. Now, I realise I can cook decent food that does the same, for the same price.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I have nothing but good things to say about the Virgin One account
The website is very good and the ability to change your payments is excellent also. Their high street prescence is Royal Bank of Scotland which is about 5 mins from work and NEVER busy, meaning any face to face banking stuff at lunchtime is not a trauma.

Shout up if you fancy this one as you can recommend me and we both get £50
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)

There are no branches near me
the closest one is 4 miles away and a pig to get to.

But thanks for the advice.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Northern Rock?
Virgin have just bought them out so I'd assume you will also be able to use them
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Northern Rock? In London?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation?
In England?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)

It's midland bank innit bruv.
Not sweaty northern desperately poor peoples bank.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I bank with the co-op. Very good service on the phone and website works well. Only downside is they don't have many branches in London.
I like the ethical aspect of the co-op too.

Living in London I have no idea about my neighbours or if they are rude or not.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I know all my neighbours.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I live in a cul-de-sac and know pretty much everyone else who lives in it
There is a real community feel in our street as there are loads of kids there
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)

You terrible nonce.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I believe how brazen he is about it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I believe it too.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Best way
The kids love it, the dirty slags
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I am officially the best artist on /board.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Who'd win in a fight,
Daniel Craig in Casino Royale or Daniel Craig in Cowboys and Aliens?
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I reckon Daniel Craig would.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:52, Reply)

HAHA!
GOOD ONE! Because both the choices were the Daniel Craig!
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Go fuck yourself.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Soz.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Poligy cepted

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

For a very long time, I was happy with Halifax
Then, over the last few months, they've been absolutely fucking useless. They passed on a debt of mine to a collection agency, despite the fact I'd stuck to the payment plan, and we were still within the first year of it.

They admitted that was a mistake on their behalf, but it still took them 6 weeks to get the debt back from the other company. Then, when they finally brought it back in, they didn't reinstate the previous payment plan, meaning I was hit with a charge from them, because they were incompetent.

I contacted them over this, again, another apology, but then they informed me they couldn't reinstate my previous plan, and would have to set me up with a new one, in which I simply have a decreasing overdraft. Better than nothing, but I far preferred my old plan, in which I could pay money into it, but I couldn't do anything else.

If I have any more problems, I'm going to write a complaint letter to them, just stating that I'm fucked off, and see what they say. If their answer isn't satisfactory, as soon as my debt is paid, I'll transfer to another bank.

Alt: Our dispatch manager is one of the rudest individuals I've ever had the misfortune to come into contact with. She has no concept of personal space, shouts in peoples faces, tells you to 'fuck off' if you try and help her, things like that. Add to this the fact she's a 20 a day smoker, and she stinks. Not a pleasant individual.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I'm with HSBC too
and I'm thinking of moving because that security keypad thing is a pain in the hole.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I can cope with that
I prefer it to the card reader you need for my Barclays account.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Halifax autocall my mobile when I set up new payments and stuff. It's pretty handy.
Also they text me if there is "suspicious"activity on my card and I can reply to the text and it will hold/release my account instantly
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Natwest apparently don't have any of that shit.
Website security is all very well, but you're not any more likely to suffer an attack like that than you are getting your card cloned at the hole-in-the-wall, I shouldn't think.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Yeah I know that
and everyone who knows how the internet works knows that, but most people are terrible internet spastics.

For example, the radio advert for trend micro security which goes "Albert has been a victim of an online attack leaving all of his personal life exposed, passwords, banking etc."

It's so fucking disingenuous.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I had to move banks as part of my, ah, difficulties, recently.
I was with the Winchester NatWest from the age of 15 until 37 - never had a single problem with them. I repaid this reasonable nature by skanking them for a total of about 25k.

I am not proud of myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Don't beat yourself up about it.
You've got to grip with your financial mess and the IVA means that NatWest will get a percentage of their money back.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I still feel the sting of shame.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

It's all about playing odds with that lot.
Some they win, some they lose. Your 25k is a drop in the water compared to the money they made off your debt whilst it was uncontrolled. I wouldn't worry about it.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

know you're right, and thank you, but I know I've failed and I'm extremely unhappy about it.
What I failed to do most of all is have a high enough salary. If I didn't have such a shit job all would have been well.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)

you'd still spend it, dude, whatever you made
i've earned £9,000 a year as a letting agent, and i've earned what i earn now - there's still scrabbling around for lunch money at the end of every single bloody month!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I'm trying to spend less
I'm not sure how sucessful I am being, ut at the end of last month I still had £200 in my account. So YEAH SMUG SMUG
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)

that's pretty good going
sensible budgeting ftw. as opposed to my method:

ATM

money comes out = gooooooood
money doesn't come out = fuuuuuuuck
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)

fuuuuuuuck *calls daddy*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)

yeah and we all know how that conversation goes down
"fuck off and shovel up your own shit"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I've arranged it with my second job for them to pay me around the 12th
That way, rather than simply having more at the end of the month, I have money throughout the month instead!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I approve of this

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)

That's because you consider a tenner spent on a salad to be good value.
Morning all. In telecon. Bored shitless.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)

i never ever said that!
i said, normal people spent about £5, but i liked to add loads of things like mushrooms, peppers, onions etc. and you paid per extra ingredient. which resulted in a gargantuan pasta salad which lasted for 2 meals and i thought it was worth it.

sheeeeesh. do i have to explain EVERYTHING around here, eh?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Yes, yes you do.
This information is vital to the running of the internets.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)

i can see now why al thinks you are SUCH a sexpest
it must be this morbid fascination with my salad
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

*adds special garnish*

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)

*gazzes cock*
oh, wait.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

But they'll never get over the betrayal

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I was thinking of going for Natwest
purely based on their "helpful banking" advertisments.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I had my company account with NatWest. They were very good.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)

They're fine.
And that 'get cash out of the machine when you've lost your card' thing is superb if you lose shit when you are pissed. Apparently.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Isn't that RBS not Natwest
or are they, in fact, the same thing?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Didn't RBS buy Natwest, or vice versa?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:44, Reply)

RBS bought Natwest

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I like Halifax
RBS are the devils work. And not the in tights type.

But everyone I know has had an issue with one of the major banks. So really you'd be better off spinning the WHEEEEEL OF BAAAANKS!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I haven't.
The banks have problems with me instead.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)

you utter shit

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)

*shrugs*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I'm so looking forward to hot meat tonight.
I want some of that gorgeous fish tikka in a tin foil wrap.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)

oooh I love fish tikka
Which reminds me I should probably go get some cash at lunchtime
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:15, Reply)

It would help
otherwise we'll be having a whip round for two people.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Wait who else are we having a whip round for?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:24, Reply)

The poor person on the table.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Hmm I will have to assess how much I like said person
and if I want my hard earned cash to help them out or if I will tell them to fuck off
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I've had tandoori fish before, is that basically the same thing?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)

you need to get your arse to the sang am
pref the original in rusholme, but the didsbury one does it too.

their sizzling cod tikka on a bed of peppers and onions is the best thing EVER. i've never found a curry house in london that comes close. although eastern revive in wilmslow does it pretty well too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

This is the first year we've not gone to Wilmslow for the Christmas Do in 5 years
Alderley Edge instead, which is fine by me.

Shall have to see if I can organise a trip to Didsbury then, I've been craving a curry recently.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)

sang am is fucking awesome

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I had a dream last night
that I had to play rhythm guitar for The Rolling Stones but I didn't know any of the songs. Then Dry Meat was involved so the dream improved enormously.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Meh. Grammsie is spot on
Most people whine about Barclays, but I've been with them all my life and they've been great. I've got accounts with RBS and mostly they are OK, although they seemed to struggle somewhat with changing my wife's name on our joint account.

Swings and Milton Keynes, innit? Although it would help if Barclays had more than two branches in Scotland
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:14, Reply)

The Barclays adverts annoy me

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:17, Reply)

In so far as they appear to be perpetuating the existence of Justin Lee Collins
I cannot agree more.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:19, Reply)

It's stecen m,erchant

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I thought it was Adam Buxton?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Is it? Shows how much I know.
I've no idea what he sounds like, thank fuck. It does sound like JLC though.

Did you have a seizure while typing that, by the way?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Stork actually, but I', fiome npow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Is your head-dobber incorrectly fitted?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

pardon?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)

my dad's branches used to get people trying to steal
the lifesize cut-outs of rowan atkinson when he was doing the barclaycard adverts. why? why would anyone want a lifesize rowan atkinson? what would you do with it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Oh come on.
I think you know the answer to this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

burn it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:22, Reply)

something like that.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)

you can ride it like a pony if you want to, badge
nobody will judge you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I was thinking of putting it inside a mini
but , y'know, whatever floats your boat.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

putting a mini inside it, more like
(it's funny because i'm saying you have a small cock. which wouldn't really float my boat)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)

If you could get a mini down the japs
I'd suggest it's probably quite sizeable.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)

sigh
i will type this slowly, to help you read it more carefully.

"putting a mini inside it more like" means that YOU would be putting YOUR MINI (aka your cock) inside the ROWAN ATKINSON CUT-OUT. not parallel parking the mini inside your japseye. it is funny because it implies that you want to have bumlove with a cardboard rowan atkinson.

at times like this, i am reminded of why you don't adduce evidence from the person who drafted a clause in a contract when you dispute it. because the court considers what you actually produced and not what you might have meant to produce.


( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

yes, dear.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:49, Reply)

*feels miffed and patronised*
*puts the mighty twat on ignore*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

awww.
you're cute when you're sulking.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:01, Reply)

sorry, did someone say something?
no?

as you were...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I am.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:12, Reply)

oh em gee, thank you
that grovelling gaz was so sweet that i am going to break the law and post it here:

dear beautiful and fiercely intelligent swipe

please please please forgive me. it was just a tiny attempt at humour. i can now see that it has backfired, and i am beyond sorry. the prospect of never hearing from you again is making my wrists jump onto my stapler and try to slit themselves.

yours in loving penitence,

badge xxxxx

i might have to forgive you after that...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Do you know, that's pretty close to the one I considered
and then didn't send? Except the stapler bit. I'm at home ill.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:20, Reply)

argh
betrayed by my own lack of attention to detail.

what's wrong with you? are you really sick, or are you being a hairy-backed mary??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Honestly? I dunno.
My temperature is all over the shop so consequently I haven't really slept since thursday.

that's not really condusive to work. Or driving to work, even.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:26, Reply)

oh dear
not knowing is stressful, even though it's prob something v minor.

get yourself to the doctors man, before i have to start being NICE to you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:27, Reply)

meh, it's only some sort of viral thing
so no point.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:42, Reply)

do i have to be nice to you for that?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:52, Reply)

At my last job, I was in a bit of a funny way, had to much on my mind, and someone offered me an A0 printer and then asked me what I'd do with it.
I couldn't think so I said I'd make full life size copies of me, 100s of them, all in different persitions, I'd then put them up all over a tube carridge so when it pulls into the station, people will think the carridge is full of the same people, in the mean time, I'll then have the caridge all to myself and my clones. If they tried to arrest me, I'd just stand really really still and they won't know what one to arrest.

This got the most weirdest looks I've ever seen, complete deadpan, I don't even know why I said it. After about 20 seconds of stunned sillance, I went "Or something like that.... maybe a bus". And then everyone just walked away.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:28, Reply)

All aboard the Gonz Train.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:30, Reply)

jesus christ
youtube videos of your beetroots growing would move more quickly and have more comedy potential than this. you're only going to do your own online research and bore us all with the outcome in due course anyway.

the head partner of my old team was the rudest colleague on the planet. one morning i came in and he clicked his fingers to summon me in some agitation. the other 3 members of our team were in court and he had clearly forgotten. "hello-er- you." (i'd been there for 2 years by this point) "where on EARTH are- er - er - er - whatshisname, dooberryface and thingyhead today???" the trainee, presumably thingyhead, had been with us 6 months. the other 2 had worked with him for 5 fucking yeaars. unbelievable. mind you, he also sued his own grandmother over an inheritance issue, so...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:14, Reply)

He wasn't called Michael, was he?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

nope
but he would probably have called me that, had i stayed beyond 2 years
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I had been emailing some bloke back'n'forth for 2 days just knowing that he sits somewhere behind me, about a project.
then he came up to me to ask a question about it, and I realised I didn't have a clue what his name was or that he was who I was dealing with. We've both been there for over a year.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:23, Reply)

wouldn't his name in the email address be a tiny clue, mate?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Yeah', I knew his name, but not his face.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:50, Reply)

NatWest are great and their online offering is simple and works well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Fine don't thank me for my sensible and useful advice you gargantuan pair of monkey balls

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I was actually just about to
but was getting distracted by the very poor interface for HSBC online banking.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Did you see my post on friday that my excellent advice on the internet would have made you nearly £2k
if you had bothered to take it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:38, Reply)

: (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Don't worry dude, it would probably have been more like £1500 after tax and charges
in two months...
without doing anything more than two phone calls and filling in a form
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

what did you advise?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Bank shares were largely undervalued while the greek stuff was going on.
I told him to buy Barclays shares while they were low because they had already written down their Greek assets. They have been going up since and went up 5% on friday.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Give me your opinion on Lloyds Banking Group shares please.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:56, Reply)

They can't get much lower
but it'll be ages until you'll see a big gain in the price. I haven't heard any good news from them for ages.
Long term though, they'll go up.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I may or may not work for part of this organisation.
Several months ago I asked our divisional top-dog about the share price. He said exactly the same thing - "it can't go any lower".

It was 38 pence that day. It did indeed go lower. Much lower.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I've mentioned this before on /talk
but my ex-wife spectacularly failed to sell her shares in the dot.com startup she was involved in in 1999, which would have netted us £100-£150K. At the time they were about $45/share. 18 months later they were about 7 cents each.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:18, Reply)

depends whether you think all banks were overvalued before
or are undervalued now, really. good news doesn't matter if the shares are low and there's no bad news.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:13, Reply)

sound advice
Barclays are a good investment in general though, they fell like all the other banks in crisis but Barclays weren't actually in any trouble at any point, so they are undervalued.

RBS is still a great long-term buy, I reckon.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)

What I've heard of from the "bad" part of northern rock
they're doing really well.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Anyone who uses the word 'offering' without a hint of irony needs hitting with a shovel.
Sorry to be the bearer, etc.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Been with The Cooperative Bank for 18+ years.
I do all my banking on the web or over the phone. They are very good on both, especially their phone banking which is handled by nice, helpful northern ladies. They also have an ethical investment policy if this means anything to you, which may or may not relate to them not being involved in the recent banking shenanigans. I would recommend them whole heartedly.

*fucks off back to work*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:38, Reply)

My loan is with the co-op they are pretty good on that

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I use Bank of Scotland, and have done for years.
They're pretty good and the website is ok. None of this PIN keypad / card reader nonsense.

Alt: Funnily enough, the team who sit behind me are the most useless shower of spastics imaginable. They start dialing numbers before hitting the 'headset' button (this is loud as fuck), they leave their mobiles at their desks / in their jacket pockets/rucksacks etc while they fuck off elsewhere in the building, they wander about the office bellowing while wearing wireless headsets during teleconferences, and they bellow on the phone while talking to colleagues.

The name of this team? Telephony support.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Nationwide. Building Society, so you get to be a member. And you, al, are the biggest member ever.
My ex-boss is a cunt so I intend to cold-shoulder him at the Christmas party.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

I'll prove this to you tonight.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

*are*, not *have*
But hey, hey, hey, I'm totally after the meat this evening.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)

That's what I meant, I'm going to act like a huge penis.
So totally out of character.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Sorry, that should have been "in" not "out of"

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:57, Reply)

shake it all about

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I'm with HSBC who are shit
this could be because I don't have any money though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Quite a few people who complain about banks being shit
Do seem to complain because they seem to think banks should be their personal supply of money when they run out, true.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Nah, I want them to supply my money to me, I don't need theirs.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Rightho. That seems reasonable
why will they not?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Because HSBC appear to be alone in the banking world
in that if you want to withdraw a large amount of cash, you have to go in with your chequebook and write yourself a cheque which they they cash.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:56, Reply)

how odd.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I don't think that
just that they're shit, and this could be because I do not have enough money to make it worth their while
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:43, Reply)

well, yeah.
It's kind of like expecting good service from a restaurant when you aren't actually buying any food, I suppose. Or sutin.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:44, Reply)

atteniton plz k thx
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1458093
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I love how the subject line of this post
sums up your entire persona so succinctly.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:43, Reply)

i like how CUNTYPRICKCUNTPRICKSHITBOLLOCKSCUNTPRICKSHITFUCKERCUNT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Are you related to Tourettes?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)

how the fuck can you be realted to tourettes? you stupid or summat?
fucks sake fucker, fucken tourettes is a fucken syndrome or summat cock
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:33, Reply)

What, why? What's wrong with that?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:50, Reply)

cos the vet advice might not work out and then you'd make like a cat stew or summat

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:51, Reply)

o bother, if only i'd posted it an hour and a half earlier i'd be on top of the popolar page again and you'd all like me like a hero

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I know your secret, Oftiwreath!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Share with the group

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Sockpuppet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I thought we knew this.
The question was who.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:26, Reply)

*glares*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Is it comande Quixote, NO
WAY
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Not 100% sure but I dont care
Occasionally v.funny
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:31, Reply)

That proves he isn't CQ doesn't it?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:31, Reply)

rim me, baby

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:32, Reply)

What he said^

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Seriously?
What makes you think so?

Would my assertion that it's not me change your mind at all?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:33, Reply)

i definitely am tho

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Lying fucker.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:34, Reply)

no youn are!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:34, Reply)

PROOF

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Whut?
Are you winding my up Sporto?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:35, Reply)

the more you argue the madder i/you/we look

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Even my shit typing is less shit than your's son.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:35, Reply)

apostrophe fail!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Yeah, I'm shit at those, I te'nd to ov'er us'e them'

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:36, Reply)

i dint know you speak clingon!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

This has been suggested
And as I think I've said there are many clues that point to this, but I have yet to see anything you might consider proof.

I have also stated that I have never socked on this board and I uphold this assertion.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:31, Reply)

i can confirm and deny that i am comrade quixote's sockpuppet

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 13:32, Reply)