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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning allAre you still in bed getting your daily wank out of the way?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:17, 173 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Nope, I'm in work, and very hungryOverslept this morning, so I didn't get any breakfast. Not happy about that!
How are you?
EDIT: Candle day again? Woo!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:27,
Reply)
Shove your candle up your fucking arse.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:09,
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DoneAre you going to blow it out with your trumpet?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:35,
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commute, donecheerios, done
coffee, done
work,...work,...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:30,
Reply)
Nope, I is at work.and when you posted that I was probably crossing the Thames on my way to work. How are we all this morning.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
Glad to hear it Jeffrey, glad to hear it.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:55,
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Moring CQ, I am fine this morning how are you?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:54,
Reply)
Aye not bad, still medium evil, but not as bad as yesterday.If I can get through today wi'out stabbing anybody it's down hill to the weekend.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
Good for you, I have a big presentation todaythen working from home tomorrow and team day in town on friday, so this week is looking ok post today
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 8:58,
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Well personally I wish you the best of luck with that.On an ideological level however I hope you fail and burn in hell.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:04,
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hahahahaAre you still angry with me? Or just disappointed?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:06,
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Neither.Why would I be angry with you, or have expected more from you?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
well I did spend yesterday maybe exagerrating a little to wind you up...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
Meh.I've always wished you death on ideological grounds and always quite liked you as a person. All that has changed is that I will no longer discuss politics with you, because, whether through mental deficiency or a desire to wind me up, you debate like a dribbling spastic and it's not worth the effort.
While we're on the subject of things I won't do, any more I think we can add 'explaining this shit', as I've done it 3 times now.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
Ay ooop chuck.How's life in the Frozen North?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
Lonely and desolate.I do however, have some gingernuts for tea tonight so it's not all bad.
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girlinthehole, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:37,
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Biscuits: answer to all life's problemsAs long as your problems are limited to "Oh noes! Whatever shall I dunk in my tea?"
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
No, I am at my desk, getting my morning wank out of the way.PS you're all cunts and I hate you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
It's mutual Monty old chap.Try not to get it in your eyes this time.
Oh, and blatantly stolen from another Betan on Face Book but it made me laugh:
I once tried to charge Stephen Hawking with rape.
It didn't work, so I just replaced his batteries instead.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
well if you wrapped your cock in copper wire and shoved some magnets up his arse...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
it's a joke on the dual meaning of the word "charge"thicko
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:12,
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One is charging him with rape? I didn't know rape was a form of stored energy? (, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I now have thoughts of being the filling in an ape and comrade sammich.*dreams*
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girlinthehole, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:38,
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I think someone needs a mattock between the eyes.I think that person is you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:21,
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Lectures at ten, not nine! Arse(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:12,
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Gnah', I've worken up not feeling too awesome, in fact, I had a rather not very pleasent night at all.One day I would like to go to sleep and be like "I R SLEEPIN" and then wake up at the right time and say "I R B WAKE NAW" with nothing inbetween the too. And when I wake up I would like to not need a fist full of tablets to feel close to normal.
I think the worst album I've ever bought is Proffesor Green's one, he's fucking aweful,
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:13,
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You need a machine to feed you drugs as you sleep(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:17,
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I don't like needles, and the only way a machine would work like that is to connect me via vains.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:19,
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Could you not have them shoved up your arse, ya know get to the root of the problem?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:21,
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Apparently subosatories are the usual thing in France, I hear they even take placibo ones.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:32,
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Placebo Suppository is my band name.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:33,
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For all the good they doyou might as well stick them up your arse.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:34, Reply)
Today I are mostly..Preparing for tomorrow's Interview in Frankfurt (pleaseletmegetthejobpleaseletmegetthejob) and deciding whether to go the 'Full English' - I:E Pinstripe suit, cufflinks, brogues etc or to be a little less formal. Another interview on Friday in the slightly less glamorous Bromsgrove.
Haven't yet had today's wank.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)
It's for a national sales manager for the UKThe company are a direct competitor to my ex-employers - they've been poaching each other's staff for years - but they don't have a presence in the UK. They're looking for someone to get them into this market and start (in time) a full UK subsidiary.
Fingers crossed eh!
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:22, Reply)
The beer money is rapidly running out!So I need a job - so I can afford to get blotto in the manner to which I have become accustomed, not with the 'greatest alcohol content/pound' stuff I'm having to consider!
*shudders*
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Turn up dressed as an SS officer.They LOVE that shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
I only wank at the weekends when I can give it my full attention.I'm currently sat here mustering up the wherewithall to do supplier payments.
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girlinthehole, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:16,
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Morning allDiets are fucking shit.
I missed three calls last night and two this morning from my doctor about the blood test I had recently. Will probably have to wait until lunchtime to hear from him. He's never called me up about anything before. I am shitting myself.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:17, Reply)
He clearly said that he has the shitsI can only assume this is due to having an anus like a tattered old wind sock
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:20,
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unless you bump into Monty in a dark alley(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:24,
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Being bummed to death by Monty is actually at the end of my bucket list(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Some chutney at Lusty's work is such an active benderthat, aged just 21, his anus is destroyed and he's had to have time off to have his innards poked back in (or something).
My guess is that you have that.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:24,
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My guess is that Darth did that to him(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:26,
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blah blah blah, candle, blah blah blah, wanker. blah blah blah(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:27,
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DankeWhat do you think of your chances against Southampton this weekend then?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:36,
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What he saidIf we're really, REALLY lucky we might get a consolation goal. That is literally the best I'm hoping for.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)
StillI'm sure Billy Elliot will cheer you up.
It's almost autobiographical for you isn't it?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I fucking wishIf I'd taken up dancing when I was 11 I'd be a damn sight better at it than I am
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
The one-legged blind man who lives upstairs from meis better at dancing than you are.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
No he isn'tNot least because you just made him up, you awful fibber
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
We do have a blind man upstairsbut he does have two legs, I grant you. He made Lusty walk him to a (not very near) pub once. The randy old blind wanker.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:02,
Reply)
Err... does Lusty have a full-on Mariella Frostrup?Otherwise, to him, she could be 80, or fat, or Natalie Cassidy
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Did you live in a pit town when you were a kid? Do you remember the miner's strike?
The newfilm about Darth Thatcher is a PG. To keep out the miners!
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
BrilliantNo and yes in that order. We had PROPER strikes in my day. None of this public sector bollocks.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
It's known as a prolapse, you great prolapsed anus. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:27,
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You seem to know rather a lot about this.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
I read about it in the copy of 120 Days of Sodom that you gave me.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:33,
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I only saw the last hour or so and she was hardly in ithe was good in it, that boy from third rock from the sun
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
or exactly 30god he had shit hair in 3rd rock
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
You haven't made it until your poo is wide enough to use as a draught excluder(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Sorry to despoil your melodrama, but it's just the bored forgetful old bag on reception calling you for a follow up appointmentI'm fairly sure that your GP couldn't care less if you were alive or dead
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
Ah, but, you seeIt was actually my doctor who left me the voicemails. Don't take away my chance to blow things out of proportion and make this thread all about me, Rory. It's all I've got.
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Good morning you collection of weeping anal sores.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:23,
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I'd be sad if I was an anal soreI mean what do you have to look forward to, nothing, that's what
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:24,
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You are one.Get weeping, boy.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:29,
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Seems like a clinic would be more appropriate than a room.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:33,
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A room in a hospice, ideally.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:35,
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Indignitas would be more apt.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:37,
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Gut moaningAs Gonz would say. (new autocorrect on phone changed that to Fonz)
I tried a 5.5% red wine last night, good stuff to have in the house if you want to give up the booze.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
You enjoy the relentless pursuit of Jimmy Somerville,through the bushes on Hampstead Heath.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
oooh, you've got a bit of a thing about himwant me to hook you up?
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
He's the most repulsive little woofter I know of.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
I've not seen you for ages. Pint?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
Yes. When? Where?I am not letting you take me to Centurians again.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:58,
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The beer in there makes my arse hurt.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
More like the "bear" makes it hurt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
Australia via TescoIt did not encourage repeated consumption.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:19,
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That sounds shit. Might as well pour it down the toilet and cut out the middleman. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
The hat with the silent 'TW'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
That's right.It 'works' best said aloud, I fear.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
so there's a silent twh?so the word is 'at'?
This whole conversation is confusing me terribly
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Why don't you find a window to lick before you think about it anymore - should get rid of your confusion.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
They need more licking then, don't they?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:03,
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Then use your head dobber to ask someone to put you in a different sunshine bus.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:04,
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Banned for throwing your shit about, I'll be bound.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:07,
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Lick the windows like your 'fellow students'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:14,
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There's a hole in my bucket, dear Monty(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
I should imaginetying your shoelaces each morning is an unfathomable conundrum that can only be resolved by the intervention of your 'girlfriend'*
*the poor woman at your spastic school whose job it is to stop you scoffing all the crayons
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
my girlfriend helped me get dresssed this morning, i wanted to go smart but i'm in a t shirt and jeansSHE FAILED
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Well she's just trying to stop you from getting pressure sores in your wheelchair.You should be grateful. She's probably not on a lot of money.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
i appreciate all that she does for me, but that doesn't mean she should be allowed to whinge while making my sandwiches(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
i think you need to 'start a new story' on the off topic page if you want to start a new threadhope this helps xxx
(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Done - but it's even shitter than this one(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
i was stuck in the delights of holborn tube station20 mins on the pic line. 20 mins to exit the station. ffs. why are people so fucking slow, shambling cockstains.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
push your breasts into them, then accuse them of touching you, they'll soon move(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
i have 2 breastsand about 200 people in the way. my tits aren't THAT big.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
Apparently they have drooped so much they get trapped in the escalator. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
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