Afternoon all
1) No, probably not. I might retire elsewhere, if I had sufficient funds to do so. I know a number of people who've thought the grass is greener elsewhere only to come home horribly disillusioned a few years later when they've realised that the grass might be greener but the dog turds in it are just as big and bad as the ones here.
2) Freshly baked bread and certain aftershaves.
3) Because your kidneys are knackered.
4) 2002 was a fairly good one.
5) Because.
6) Sadly yes. I will get to go and have my lunch in about 10 minutes though, and this makes me happy because I'm fucking starving.
7) Yes, even though I have no idea what it means. It sounds like the kind of phrase somebody who uses a moon cup might use for their period.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:45, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

What happened in 2002?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Death of the Queen Mother.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Yeah!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)

I LOVED that.
The Fishbone Strikes Back.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)

Generic good times, I guess
lots of gigs and drinking and having fun with friends and the like.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)

You should resolve to make 2012 like 2002.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)

Blimey
I had laser surgery on my eyes 10 years ago...

eek!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I should
however most of my mates are more interested in nights in with their partners than they are in coming out and getting silly and having fun. I'd even settle for cheese and wine evenings or dinner parties, but no...the advent of the late twenties appear to have turned them all in to boring fuckers.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Invite them for nights in at yours, showing them that much fun can be had.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:00, Reply)

That is extremely bent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Yup
however I shall be moving to Oxford soon, most likely, which means more bashes ahoy.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:10, Reply)

Forgive my impertinence
but the mistake you are making here is to think that being labelled with a post-it with a nob drawn on it by an horrific examplar of poor personal hygiene is some sort of replacement for a social life.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)

I understood every word in that sentence
but not the actual sentence itself.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:16, Reply)

He says: bashes is well shit, yeah?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Oh right
thank you for translating.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:19, Reply)

/OT bashes are not like that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Mmmhmm.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Honest guv.
Not the ones I've been to, anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:25, Reply)

I have to concur.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

I fear other areas of B3ta may be, can you imagine the sweaty hormones at a QOTWE bash!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:30, Reply)

I've been to a few
and the standards of personal hygiene were pretty remarkable, all things considered.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:32, Reply)

It's not so much the personal hygiene as the look
on everyones faces when they realise they are socialising out of their bedrooms.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:35, Reply)

*Mumbles something about World of Warcraft*
*Stares at floor*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:38, Reply)

That is v good news.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Dude. Your friends are well shit.
And that's an unprofessional medical opinion.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

A little bit, yeah
sad but true.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I want to do a cheese and wine evening
I have fucking loads of wine, and I really like cheese, so I thought I should get all my friends to bring cheese round and then we can drink my wine.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:10, Reply)

I've not been invited like,
but it sounds like a great plan to me. I mean, you've got your friends, who are lovely, and then you've got cheese and wine as well, which are two of the finest things upon the earth.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:11, Reply)

See, I'd invite you, but it'd be a bit weird wouldn't it.
I mean, there's me, and then there's you, and then there's my wife. And inviting a young attractive girl who clearly has sexual feelings towards me into my house while my wife will be around is clearly just a waste of both our times.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:13, Reply)

Blue nun and pink crimped primula.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Pink crimped primula now sounds like a sex injury

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)

A very good idea.
I drunkenly ate about half a wheel of Epoisses yesterday, it stank like a rotting tramp but tasted superb.

We also had Barbadillo Sticky Pudding Wine which sounds a bit shit but is similarly delicious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

You should have another one
I couldn't come/wasn't invited to the last one.
(berk, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Do you mean Swipe's soiree at mine?
I'm happy to host as many little get-togethers as people want - once my sofa gets fixed....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

I wasn't invited either.
That's the last crab fucking linguine I make for you!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:22, Reply)

I didn't do the inviting YOU CUNT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:22, Reply)

How CONVENIENT!
I often have people round to the house without any input into the invite list. Twunt.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Seriously.`Swipe arranged the fucking lot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:25, Reply)

technically
it was gonz's idea.

and he didn't make it due to being sick!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Now to be fair, my idea was "Lets me and you meet up for some dinner", implying some kind of date, like it has been every 4 months for a couple of years that keeps on getting put back...
...which turned into a "Monty and lusty must come with us", implying that you're not interested or want a double date.
...which turned into a "how about X Y Z come along?", implying that the whole date thing is out the window, which is completely fine, I'm cool with having dinner with a whole bunch of friends, I honestly really don't care, get to try out some amazing resturants that you and monty always go on about.
... which turned into a "Monty has no money, but he said we can all go around to his flat instead", which kind of implies some kind of so-ray.

Which is all totally cool, and I would have enjoyed it if I was well enough to come, but it wasn't exactly my idea.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Haha
Keep trying Gonz. It looks like Berk is about to ditch her fella and will need a friend.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:50, Reply)

It's OK, I'm not the one missing out, I'm with me 24/7, that's pretty awesome most of the time.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:04, Reply)

He's a cheeky bastard isn't he.
I've been going out of my way to invite him out to things so he doesn't forget what the outside world looks like, I've overlooked all the times he's soiled himself in public, or got confused and started getting undressed and asking "Where's me tea?", I've even provided him with ice cold polish lager. And this is the thanks I get.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:25, Reply)

I'm an incorrigible swine, aren't I?

Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:26, Reply)

I'm this close to reconsidering our acquaintanceship.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:30, Reply)

Are your arms as wide as they would be if someone asked you to demonstrate how wide Swipes vagina is?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Absolutely.
As if I were describing the length of my love truncheon.

Well, I say truncheon, ........
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Telegraph pole?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:40, Reply)

Toothpick, more like
Often found in the mouths of gentlemen too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Will you be offering baths?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Of course.
What decent host doesn't?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Oh man, me too.... I can host one has my house warming, and I know an awesome place to get cheese from, like, stunning-amazing-awesome cheeses.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Patricia Michaelson's place in Highbury is amazing for cheese.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:43, Reply)

That's what you currently need, £40 worth of cheese.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)

You are so right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)