Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Christ that was shit.Like in edition 12222 of ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ when Spider-Man ended up in a time vortex with the X-Men which could never have actually happened ACTUALLY.
I found two books on Greek and Roman siege engines outside my flat the other day. How good is that? Very good INDEED, I know.
Ever found anything cool?
Ever lost anything devastating? And don’t say your virginity you lying internet fatsos. No-one’s buying it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:03,
143 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
So far today I have found:
Where I can smoke.
That fish and chips for lunch costs £4.00 from the office canteen.
A clean toilet for my morning dump.
At least three women in the office who are now on my "would" list.
I once lost my driving license (not for speeding or dd before anyone asks). It was a complete nuisance.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:07,
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Fish and chips costs zero pounds from our canteen.I'm off to spend my £4 winnings on cakes and sweets.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:13,
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I'm trying to think of what you could have lost it forthat would be less bad than speeding, to be honest.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:20,
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giving his bf a blowie in the fast lane of the m6(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:22,
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Is there a prize ?I'll go with epilepsy
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:23,
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which would make my suggestion even more dangerous(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:24,
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\o/It helps that everyone here is pretty stupid with zero retention unless it's pie related
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:56,
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not reallyyes, my dad gave my mom a ring when she was pregnant with me, she gave it to me for my 16th birthday, and I somehow lost it, wasn't really worth any money but it was sentimental blah blah etc
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:08,
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I found some proper hairy 1970s porn in one of the teachers' bags on a school trip.Seriously hairy. Hairy like only Germans can be hairy. You had to squint to work out if any of them were women.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:11,
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I found a bag of VHS behind Blockbusters in Norbury once,among other things that I now forget it contained a Carter USM 'Live' video, Pulp 'This F.E.E.L.I.N.G called LIVE!', The Complete "Yes, Prime Minister" and all of "Our Friends In The North".
I've still got the last two actually.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:13,
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I've got an old telly in the spare room with a built in one, yes.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:15,
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Dude. That's like a collector's item or sutin.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:24,
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Yes but the question isn't 'Ever found a complete heap of shit that should have gone straight into the bin?'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:15,
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I'd give you that if I'd stopped after the Pulp video.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:16,
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I'd say it was Trebuchetmendous.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:14,
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I don't think you would, ackchewalllay(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:21,
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Does anyone know what 'leave the internet' is in French?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:22,
Reply)
"Quittez l'Internet"Though I think "*Bat sa tete au bureau et pleure pour l'humanite*" is probably more appropriate...
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:25, Reply)
After a prolonged period of not smokingI once found a carrier bag containing a lot of homegrown weed, which I had completely forgotten about.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:15,
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Ohh, that reminds meWe found 15 or so deals of blow in a Lloyds money bag in the pub and had to quickly hide it when the dealer came in looking for it. That was a fun month!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:19,
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A full unopened bottle of Southern Comfort in a hedge at the Leeds FestivalA solid gold coin that I'd won aged about 10 that was worth £100
A St. Etienne CD with an owl drawn on it inside the case of a PC (not cool, but odd)
A Swiss Army knife as a kid
Lost:
Said Swiss Army knife
Many hours from night's out
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:16,
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I used to go drinking with Pete Wiggs from St Etienne all the fucking time.I have a series of 'lolarious' pics of us wearing a plastic monkey mask.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:23,
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Ask him if he wants his cd backand also if I could have a go on the singer
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:24,
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Sarah Cracknell has a wonky eye.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:26,
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She would have two once I'm done(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:28,
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Monty, you're an ignoramous.There hasn't been 12222 issues of the Amazing Spider-Man.
Me and my mates found a carrier bag with about 30 grot mags in it many years ago. That seemed pretty cool at the time.
I lost £40 in Newcastle when I was a student. That was a bit shit.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:17,
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I stupidly handed in £60 to a bank once when the bloke next to me walked off from the cashpointWhat a stupid cunt I am
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:20,
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IndeedThere was officially a facepalming about 3 seconds afterwards as I drew out my remaining £5 note
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:26,
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I arrived at a cashpoint in Covent Garden late one night and there was a fifty hanging out of it, that did me a lockin down Hoxton way that didI hope you're taking notes
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:34,
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That could have bought Morquinda a few Bratz dolls and a bottle of Thunderbird, you idiot.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:25,
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I was a mere sportscalf at that time, aged about 17(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:26,
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So Morquinda would have been about five?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:28,
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I lost my first wedding ring.Lucky it didn't last, eh?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:18,
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I thought I'd lost mine a mere two weeks after getting marriedStupid Exeter and stupid cheap drinks
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:22,
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i went on a tiny little cat cruise in barbados this christmasand one of the newlyweds lost his ring. the captain was such a great swimmer and the water was so clear that he dived straight down and got it off the seabed. i was amazed.
mostly at the sight of his ass, if i'm being honest, but it was a great display of skill.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:23,
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I'm going to assume this means a cruise staffed entirely by miniature cats.If you try to correct me I will be fucking LIVID.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:27,
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i really wish it didthat would be fucking awesome
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:28,
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My mind came to this exact conclusionwhich also led to you obviously being gay as you were eyeing up pussy
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:29,
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Alt: pregnancy loss.Miscarried at 10 and a half weeks. Physically and mentally pretty tough.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:26,
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Damn, I've been careless with my lols again.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:28,
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Quentin beat you to it.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:29,
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Lies! A strong gust of wind would knock you over.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:30,
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Shit I forgot you know me IRL.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:32,
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you silly saussage, whatcha only gone and done that for?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:31,
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Crack addiction is no laughing matter, gonz.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:32,
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God damn I love me a bit of crack, right to the face.127 Hours was a porno to me.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:38,
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It worked out okay, I ended up with one anyway.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:36,
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isn't it if you lose it before 12 weeks it wasn't a baby anyway? thats why they have the scan isn't it?(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:38, Reply)
Yeah, the scan converts them into human form.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:41,
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Hahaha.First actual internet laugh of 2012.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:42,
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no but i mean its just a cluster of cellsi know because my ex had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and the very sympathetic dr told us so to make her feel better
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:44, Reply)
Yeah, they also told me it wouldn't hurt and it would be like having a heavy period.I was hospitalised for three days because I lost so much blood.
*hums "sometimes it's hard to be a woman"*
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:47,
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Quintin sounds like something from "Belgian Blue: In Bruce"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:53,
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109 weeks?what kind of species were you breeding?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:48,
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there there, necklessbut seriously, what was it, an elephant? they have long gestation periods, right?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:53,
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Worst tribute band ever.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:56,
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yes, ably assisted by you POINTING IT OUTmuppet
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:12,
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nothing any of you could have lost can compare to me losing sasha :'''''''''''( oh god the pain
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:38, Reply)
there, there.Have a hanky.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:38,
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You could call it Sasha? Use it as a replacement?Or was Sasha your dog?
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:41,
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i hardly think a hankie is going to give me the same man hungry sex sasha could(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:45, Reply)
So it was your dog.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
I wet fucked Sasha last night. She was FUCKING AWESOME. I thought she was going to shout my house down.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:48, Reply)
dude she had five kidsyou have had to wear her pernana like a hat
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)
She was so wet, her kids came in after and licked up all the love piss. Which was so HOT. I had a couple of raw eggs after and then rumped her again. She was screaming and bucking and sweating and panting and gagging and choking and pleading.
Oh man.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:54, Reply)
She said what a pathetic noodle dicked piss ant you were. Well, at least I thought that was what she said. It was difficult to tell because she was stuffing my rock hard dick in her mouth like a FAB.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:57, Reply)
The end of your dick has hundreds and thousands on?nonce
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
My cock end, brings kids to the yardMy one, is better than yours.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:00, Reply)
No. But I did UPEND Sasha.
I made her go into my back garden, naked, and make her bend over. I was still indoors.
Then I turned all the garden lights on and fucked her from behind in the centre of the lawn whilst ALL my neighbours watched her moan and buck and fight and bite and pinch and weed my dahlias.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:03, Reply)
The word you are looking for is "you're". And I think you are the no necked virgin, sweetheart.
Do I win today?
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:07, Reply)
I think correcting Quinten's spelling or grammar is a bit like telling Tommy Cooper he's shit at magic, you know?(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:13,
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with one important exceptiontommy cooper is dead.
despite my best efforts, quentin has thus far resisted topping himself. SO FAR.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:15,
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I was just thinking that a) using an example with someone living would have been better and b) I fucking need more up to date pop culture references.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:16,
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Some showbiz bigwig in the States actually did that, I believe.He said to Tommy "you could have a really great act if you just worked on your magic tricks a bit more so they didn't keep going wrong!".
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
Ha, yes, I'd forgotten that, but I heard it somewhere before.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:17,
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i come back TO THIS???i really am leaving forever now sorry but i'm oofff i can't tak eit
1. my spelling is perfect
2. i was STOOPING, STOOPID
3. you win the prize for getting very angry at me for no good reason, sweetcheeks
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:31, Reply)
Yay. Bye then.
Don't let a hail of bullets hit you in the forehead on your way out.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:34, Reply)
i'm actually scared of you on the internetplease see the gaz i sent you earlier, you need some help man
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:39, Reply)
you might want to have a large cup of calm down and a massageand maybe some counselling, do you have a good support network?
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Thanks Quints. You might want to have a personality transplant and equally stop being a mealy mouthed, thrush inducing tit.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Oh look, it's Legless on a comedy account.Cheers
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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:57,
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Haha, totally not over compensating for the lifetime of pills right here. (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:23,
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And just to confirm, the powder _doesn't_ make someone overly aggressive?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:29,
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Are you sure you don't want the hanky now?(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
I have found £40 in cash in the last few monthsI lost my camera which was shit, which had baby photos on, which was more shit.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:43,
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I lost a gold chain that had an inscription from my great-great-great-grandparent in russia before they came over here. It was a priceless antique, the chain broke* and I didn't notice. I bet some tramp put it in Gold4u postage, well, no, not a tramp, they don't have a return address, but you know what I mean.
* You know what, thinking about it, I bought the chain and safety-lock from a jewllers. Do you think I could have gone to them WTF YOU SUCKS GIVE ME MONEY
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
You lot are always losing your goldYou should keep a better eye on it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:57,
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Absolute.Fucking.GeniusPOTW!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:13,
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Don't make me control my world media at you.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:15,
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is that because he's a Jew or a dwarf?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:16,
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