it's deader than a dead thing shoved up a dead cat's arse on here (or what quentin calls "sunday afternoon sport") again
what's the best sound in the world?

alt: i am going to see that "marigold" hotel film tonight. best of british comedy or patronising wank for the silver surfers?

alt alt: if you were me, and apart from about four shots of vodka you had not had an alcoholic drink since new year, what would you drink first at the bristol bash?

alt alt alt: lunch.....?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:47, 107 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

best sound is my daughter giggling
alt:looks spastic, has reviews calling it spastic, will probably be spastic and bent

altalt:the strongest cider they have

altalt: been and gone
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:49, Reply)

sometimes
it is hard to tell you and monty apart
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)

I am young and rich* he is old and poor
*relatively
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Kids laughing, as Apey says
They don't worry about embarrassing themselves.

Alt: Not a clue. Never heard of it

Alt Alt: Cider

Alt Alt Alt: A pack of "seafood" sticks. Only 12 cals each, swipe
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)

and how many did you have?
you two and your cider loving ways. i is not being a yokel.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:56, Reply)

I had 16
You are going to Bristol. Were you not to drink cider, Jeff would cry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:57, Reply)

+ to a venue that specialises in cider.
Drink cider 'swipe
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:00, Reply)

it's strong and sweet and ridiculously high in calories
and it smells like my bedshitting ex, the strongbow king.

i think i'll stick to vodka...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)

Not all cider is like Strongbow
but yes, cider is horrible.
I could recommend some ales from Bristol, but I suspect you won't want that either.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

er.... no, not an ale fan
but you could list them anyway. jeff will doubtless love you for it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:14, Reply)

Strongbow is shit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)

it's even more shit when the pissed-up cunt spills it all over your car
and it reeks like a dead apple tree for the next month
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:13, Reply)

That sound like one of those Magic Tree
Air fresher.

'Hint of wino'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

"now with added vomit for that 3 day old reek"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:25, Reply)

im well PO'd, waitrose used to do these amazing ones up till about 3 weeks ago, that are now replaced with own brand (that i havent tried yet)
They were like eating lobster with the texture of perfectly cooked crab clsw meat.

I haven't had lobster since Christmas, I'll have to change that soon. God, I love lobster so much.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:06, Reply)

the sound of a cow sacrificing itself for my dinner
alt: I suspect it'll be unadulterated arsegravy of the highest order. SATC for the elderly.

alt alt: a "saddam" from Lebowskis.

alt alt alt: whatever soup I made, I can't remember.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:56, Reply)

SATC for the elderly? ooooof, that's a harsh comment!
*steals*

you cow murdering murderer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:57, Reply)

fuck off. it fell onto the bolt gun itself

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:01, Reply)

i actually can't believe you just told me to fuck off
we are soooooo over
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:03, Reply)

it was a generic fuck off
it wasn't directed at you personally.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:07, Reply)

sorry, did someone say something?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:08, Reply)

nope.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

*pouts*
*tosses head*

*stands with arms folded and back to badger*

oh well then, that's FINE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Bent answer: As the ape and the cow said - the kids laughing just makes you feel good.
Slightly less bent answer: I love hearing amazing music for the first time. Getting a new record and being blown away on first listen is just great.

Zen answer: the sound of one hand clapping.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:59, Reply)

I've quit drinking again
So I'd have a coffee

Lunch? I forgot to pack something but a nice young lady bought me in an Easter egg to thank me for fixing her mac so I may eat that.

The best sound in the world is... oh how fucking predictable, my daughters laughter.
( Peej, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:59, Reply)

Can you repair anoraks as well?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:03, Reply)

yes

( Peej, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:03, Reply)

alt alt
Janet's Jungle Juice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:01, Reply)

is this a bristol drink?
or are you referring to the mistress of FLAMING DICE?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)

It's a medium West Croft cider.
Google it!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:05, Reply)

my eyes, my eyes
www.flickr.com/photos/rusling/5630153567/in/set-72157626402103663/

damn you jeff
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Is that some kind of lady cider?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)

i like making kids cry
i mean you tell them there are peado monsters under the bed and they cry all night, can't take a joke or what
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:03, Reply)

*something about quentin being too ugly a child to get molested by a paedo monster*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)

i was voted most handsome at italy comp
(more lies)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:05, Reply)

you voted for yourself didn't you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:07, Reply)

in a fictional competition at a fictional school?
yes, of course
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:08, Reply)

ladies and gentlemen of the internet jury (best of all teh juries)
exhibit A in the case of boyce-v-oftiweak.

oftiweak does indeed invent people. in this case an ENTIRE SCHOOL.

this court sentences him to a 10 year internet banning. and no porn.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Oh dear, it's back to the bra section of the Grattons catalogue for our Quento.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:13, Reply)

unless he has an "argos" catalogue
he could probably get a glimpse of frosted side-boob in the shower screen section
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:14, Reply)

ah. best of all the side-boobs

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)

it could be a bloke in there for all you know!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

moobs FTW*
*for the wank
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)

The satisfying 'pop' of a cork withdrawn from a good bottle of French red
(Go on, strike it through, you know you want to.)

Alt: Statistics suggest it will be shite. I've seen several of the films tipped as the "best of British comedy" over the last few years and most of them have been the turgid cockwash of your bog-standard almost-family-friendly American "comedy," just done with fucking British accents. If it has the faintest whiff of Richard Curtis about it, I would advise avoiding it like airborne gonorhoea.

Alt alt: See first answer.

Alt alt alt: Whatever I could find that was CHEAP, because I am POOR. No good bottles of French red for me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:05, Reply)

no, i agree
except i see your shitty warm red and i raise you an "icy cold champagne" or "a really good prosecco or cava"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:06, Reply)

Philistine.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

urgh
red wine mings!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:12, Reply)

South African red wine mings, granted
And North American reds should be approached with caution. But there's a real delight to a decent* bottle of French or Italian. That is, assuming you can get the taste for the stuff in the first place.


*_{I stress the word 'decent,' there are some real howlers out there}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:14, Reply)

I'm sorry but you're wrong
Rioja is clearly the only way to go. Cabernet Sauvignon at a push, and Merlot can just fuck off.
(berk, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

this is the sign of someone who really is uneducated

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:14, Reply)

pffffft
my father lurrrrves red wine. he has all sorts of different ones that he collects. he has tried repeatedly to educate me in them.

they all taste like warm vinegary shite.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Yeah, I can't speak for Quinten's taste, but to be fair, you are having this debate
with someone who likes his wine heavy and tannic, beer that tastes like charcoal and whisky that tastes like raw peat. "Warm and vinegary" sounds positively appealing to me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:21, Reply)

he can't swallow it anyway, having no neck and all
you and i have very different taste, it's safe to say.

still, bring on the next dinner party. we can cater for both of us.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:23, Reply)

:(<-<

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

I have developed a real love for heavy red wines over the last year
I have no idea how
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)

I want to see Crust
i want to see a man shag a 7ft shrimp
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

Crust?
I've not heard of this one, but it sounds good already...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)

look it up on /links
it was made for tax evasion purposes and never released
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:11, Reply)

SFW?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)

yeah, it had some bloke in it i recognised
just a bog standard movie like full monty, only the guy finds a 7ft shrimp, teaches it to box and then seems to fall in love with it...
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:16, Reply)

i was gonna find it for you but search seems to be chunted

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:17, Reply)

here you go
i watched it earlier

www.fortmarkfilms.com/FMFlogo.swf
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Ah, nice one

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:18, Reply)

Much obliged - I'll have a gander later

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:17, Reply)

too many vanity searches from australia and asia

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:18, Reply)

ehwah?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

sigh
i was implying that some people who have been away have been carrying out so many vanity searches that they have crashed the search facility.

a stupid throwaway remark that reeeeeally doesn't stand up to any analysis.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:24, Reply)

why australia though?
also i was going to recommend this light, fruity red wine yiou might like cos it is girly, can't remember name tho
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:29, Reply)

al is in australia
oh. that would have been surprisingly nice and civil. i would have liked that.

i like my white very dry, if that helps.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:30, Reply)

shove a syrah up your foof

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Other excellent sounds include: Metallica, the Bronx, Gallows, Led Zepplinn, James Vincet Mcmorrow etc etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:30, Reply)

I don't know what the best sound in the world is
but I remember reading somewhere once that the most recognisable is that of a drinks can being opened.

Alt: the cast looks pretty good, but not my thing.

Altalt: I saw a bottle of chocolate raspberry Stoli in a shop in Oxford the other day. Get tiddly on that before you turn up and you won't give a shit what you're drinking.

altaltalt: extremely hasty soup.
(berk, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

altalt
want want want want want want want
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:46, Reply)

It does sound good, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Is the answer, Quintin's death rattle?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)

hahahahha

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:46, Reply)

'clicken dis'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:48, Reply)

fucken prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:52, Reply)

fucken shitcunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:53, Reply)

FUCKEN BARSATRDS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:54, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Tarantino's sequel to ....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)

are you saying this would make you cry?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:53, Reply)

He wants to eat you for lunch

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:55, Reply)

i just realised that was the other thread :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:58, Reply)

It's ok - I've posted a link to Nakers' answer in the other thread.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)

cheers, almost looked like a fool then
would never have lived that one down
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:03, Reply)

good news!!
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/mar/02/malaysian-student-london-riots
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Bit harsh, he was asking to be beat up and mugged

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Alt: Looks like it could be good, considering the cast
Alt Alt: Whisky and ginger.

Alt Alt Alt: Rabbit curry, again.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Sausage, egg and chips tonight
served with HP Guinness. Fucking yeah!

*punches nearest person*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)

HP Guinness is vile
Then again, I don't like Guinness.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

It is teh shit with sausages

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

I had sausages, wedges and beans last night
Cheap and tasty.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:30, Reply)

I may do beans

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:30, Reply)

I bought some HP Sauce
The other day.20p a week for the next eight weeks.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:29, Reply)

badumtish

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:30, Reply)

Right
I have returned from the pub, 3 pints of Peroni down

This is a GOOD thing, though I am now starving
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)

You should possibly have considered eating the GLASSWARE as well as drinking its contents

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Fucksocks

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:22, Reply)

If you were Stunned
You'd be reporting after 3 pints of shandy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

I am no Stunned
I am now coding back at my desk
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

In a non-ER kind of way

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

It's a charming and witty film, not forgetting it's ensemble of national treasures

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:27, Reply)

National Chompy?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Elizabeth Taylor's less successful follow-up film?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:31, Reply)

I was going for the Cage angle

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)