Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Inappropriate work behaviorHave you pulled pranks?
Do you piss about on the webs too much?
Today I've mostly been dancing to dirty rap songs at my desk.
Good work out actually.
alt: I think I'm going to start making t-shirts, what was your last shit idea at making money?
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:14,
148 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I got a written warning for forcing my wayinto the building at 1am, smoking at my desk, sleeping under my desk and going home at 7am "sick". I was slightly overly refreshed.
alt: Pimpin' yo' momma.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)
If he hadn't been drinking shandyHe'd have been promoted.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
+with a dash of lemonade(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
We call 'The Stunned vintage'Ribena round my way.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
noobviously
I like a nice desk headbang
alt: I was gonna get AIDS, then give it to people, then sell them "miricle cures"
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
Alt: A Facebook page I created in two seconds for a joke has over 15,000 likes now. I might sell t-shirts on there, license to print money really.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:25, Reply)
I was gonna import Tim Tams from Australiaand sell them to English people. But Tesco did it first.
I might try it with Cheese Twisties instead. I fucking love Cheese Twisties.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:25, Reply)
omg THESEwww.americansweets.co.uk/american-pretzels-243-c.asp
best things ever. maybe it was because i hadn't had a single crisp since pre-christmas, but when i tried one of these the other night, my mouth nearly came on the spot. soooooo tasty.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
I can take or leave Pretzels.Have you tried Cheese Twisties? They really are fantastic. They are what Nik Naks want to be, but aren't.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:38, Reply)
^ this ^they are crispy and salty and really strong flavours.
never tried cheese twisties. i'm not wild on cheese flavoured things. BUT i am open to trying, if it contains lard. and calories.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
Hold up a sec, I've had those before, and I know I haven't had them from the internet, so there must be somewehere in the UK you can get them, I just can't think wehre.I had the honey mustard ones and they were lush.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
i had them for the first time in a pubbut never seen them in a shop
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
I think it might be the turkish place behind where I used to live, that sold them.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
my options are either the internet or trek back to sloughOR stay in my new skinny clothes and not eat the fucking things.
sigh.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Workplace pranksters are hilarious, aren't they?One of the guys down in our warehouse once spent the weeks leading up to April Fool's day warning us that it was his favourite day of the year and that it was going to be "armageddon". Sadly I have nothing funny to report from this experience, apart from: he is a sad twat.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
i hope he accidentally set himself on fire(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
A week into a new job out in Horsham while I still lived in London so didn't know the town at all, I went out with a colleague on a Friday night, got separated from her, staggered around a strange town swigging from a bottle of wine before eventually stumbling back across the office, banging on the door until the security guard came along. He let me sleep in reception, bringing me coffee and kicking me out at 6.45 the next morning ahead booting me out before the 7AM shift took over from him. He never told a soul, god bless him.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:28,
Reply)
is it illegal to drink in the streets there?it is here, mostly
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
NoBut there are 'designated public places' with signs that say 'It's illegal not to give your alcohol to police if asked'.
Bloody Alky Policemen.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
only on hereand if i have boring admin to do, like paying my car tax.
alt: the law. the end.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
someone else make a new thread, you're all not even trying here(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
i am, i raved on about american pretzels and everything!i even posted a LINK!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
oh yeah, honey mustard are the bestuse to have them when I was a kid
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
i'd never seen them beforei am loving that website. lemon meringue flavoured marshmallows? hersheys cookies and cream toppings for ice cream?
uk stuff SUCKS.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
No American stuff is horridIt really is, their chocolate is fucking awful
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
Have to agree there.Smells and tastes like sick. Vile stuff.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
I'm not trying to look through the whole site, but I'll tell you smores poptarts are off the damn chain(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
now now, I wish I had the openness you lot do to a lot of foodplus most of you make your meals daily
most of the meals made here are bought in the frozen food section
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
some british chefs these days are amazingbut we just don't have the same exciting shit that you guys do. eg our ice cream aisle will be 1/10 the size.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAwww.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=moose%20tracks
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
silly kroneythese are little crunchy pieces, they are much more like crisps than anything else.
AND the pub was in slough.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
FIT is the last word I would use to describe themthey are yum, therefor terrible for you
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
ha, not in a buff, gym-going sensejust in a tasty sense. mmm.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
I'm confused, are they snacks or do you eat them for pudding(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
sighmake the pretzel
soak it in sauce until tasty and salty
bake it until crispy and crunchy
smash it into little pieces
put it in a packet
ship it to the uk
charge £2 a packet
?????????????
profit
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
it's not how big it is, but where you buy it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
the sauce isn't wetthey are little salty flavoursome cubes of crunchy win.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
So there is no sauce?I don't understand america food
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
well, the sauce gets cooked into itlike any crisp flavouring i guess
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
maybe he's a fit fanatic"steamed veg, no oil, butter, salt."
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
what's a word for a wet seasoning that is spread on food before it bakes?(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
not sauceIf I am promised sauce I expect the food to come in some sort of wet sauce.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
It is unfortunate that the only person likely to get thisis on holiday.
(
Kroney, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
pfffftwe've all seen "family guy" you pretzel-hating retard
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
Yeah, but I don't think the band were referenced, were they?Maybe they were. I don't actually give a shit.
(
Kroney, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
I love food threads with you Krizzabelle(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
yes butthese are not pretzels as you would normally think of them. you would think they were like extra crunchy crisps.
god you NEVER LISTEN!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
How would I normally think of them? How do you know? You don't, that's how.Women, endlessly rational (!)
Edit: SO above you explain they're pretzels, but smashed up. Ergo, fucking grim.
(
Kroney, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
because you are thinking of a big soggy figure of 8 covered in saltthis is your idea of a pretzel
if this were an english brand, they wouldn't call them pretzels
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
The last place I worked, a guy came to work in a mankini on his last dayHe went round the whole business to say goodbye to everyone, up close and personal. The thing was, he worked in the warehouse; the office (where I worked) was three-quarters of a mile away. His last day was in January.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:35, Reply)
That would have been a blessingHe was, to use the medical term, "Ker-AYY-zee" and kept jiggling around. His junk came free on more occasions than any of us cared to count.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:39, Reply)
you should have brought a sexual harrassment case against himnow THAT would have been funny
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
It would have been funnier if someone had ripped his cock off and beaten him to death with itNo imagination in today's workplace
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:44, Reply)
I don't think you're in any place to point fingersWith your JOKE LEAVING CARD. Hearts have been broken over less.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:01, Reply)
That video that's been doing the rounds hasn't got rid of you then?(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
FUCKS SAKEjoe ruined the prank on tricky, we had convinced him malc was leaving and he was practically crying
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Sounds like joe is the real malc! AMIRITE!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
thats rediculousjoe is financial director, i think he pities tricky because tricky is a retard
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:45, Reply)
it must be an equal opps employerwhat with all those retards!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
ah no i'd say tricky was the only genuinely mentally disabled person hereeveryone else is alright, even i have my moments
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:52, Reply)
his name is tristran but his parents came in at lunch timei'm fairly sure they are chav/gypsies
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:54, Reply)
When you tell these little fabrications I just have a picture of you in your pants surrounded by hamsters that you've dressed up as real people.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)
I quite like a workplace prank or twelveIt is a daily occurence in our office. Blue Tak and a phone is your friend
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
Or a party popper when someone is up to their elbows in a server(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
That was shitwww.youtube.com/watch?v=z2KgK0RJZ28
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
An unintentional prank, and I was a witness rather than a participant.One of the machines on the shop floor had broken down and a fitter and technician were in the process of fixing it. While the technician was underneath it checking the wiring, the fitter saw that the air dump valve was still closed and released it without first warning the technician. The machine depressurised and released the air from all the mechanisms at once, through an outlet about two inches from the technician's head.
The technician, cool as you like, just came up from underneath the machine and said to the fitter, "Here Kev, can you give me a shave as well as a haircut?"
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
Oh god, I'm starving, so hungry, and I have lunch in my bag, but it's Pasta which means it's noticable that I'm eating a meal rather than snack at my desk, at 4...... and everyone will think "Look at the fat cunt, having a proper meal at his desk, at 4, couldn't wait to super time".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
so announce v loudly that you have only just found time for lunchthereby also making them think you are really busy and important!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
Are you busy? Or are you productive?I am neither
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
both!but the busier i am, the more productive i am. i thrive on stress.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
I get to work at 12 so it's blatent.I should start trying to get into work an hour or so earlier so I don't have this problem.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
1st world problembe thankful you even have lunch you selfish fuck
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
bollocks, food is a basic part of life, all animals eat.Its a baseline on something everyone should have. Should have to thank fir what were all entitled too.
I solved the problem by getting crisps.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
I have only eaten a banana and a ham and mustard sandwich todayI'm bloody starving
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
It's your own fault for being too stupid to go and get some more food.I'm really hungry, but that's because I'm deliberately eating less as I become even more fat while I was on holiday due to drinking an outrageous amount of alcohol and eating shit loads of pies and tim tams.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:30, Reply)
I'm suprised you care what people think.You have a human right to stuff your face whenever you wish. At least until Cammeron has his way, and abolishes it.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
He is only abolishing it for poor people.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
And Gonz.because he is a minority.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:24,
Reply)
It's his own fault.If he simply applied himself and worked hard he would have created more people like him by now and wouldn't be such a minority.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:33, Reply)
One Gonz is enough at any one time.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
Alt: Landfill mining and reclamation.but it's not shit I'll be a millionaire in no time.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:38, Reply)
You really have set your heart on this, haven't you.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:42,
Reply)
It's a gold mine, just not economical at the moment, but it will be.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)
The radio was saying this morning about China restricting exports of rare earth metals.When you need some investors, give me call.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 16:54,
Reply)
I arse about all the timeI lie to students for the lols
I make up stories about my colleagues to the students for other lols
lol
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 17:45,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »