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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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A Monday morning de-cluttering thread
Are you a hoarder or do you bin off your possessions? It was a "free listing" weekend on eBay this week. Are you "into" buying/selling on it? Best and worst sales/purchases?

Alt:
How many different types of weather are we going to have today? How many times will I have your Mum?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 6:40, 247 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I used to hoard things like mad.
Now I just keep the really important things in a box under my bed, or in the scrapbook I made.

We've only had one type of weather here today - nice and sunny. And I think you'll have a hard time having my mum, given that she's here in the antipodes with me.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 6:51, Reply)
I'll have her by proxy then
I keep odd things but not much
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:04, Reply)
Mornin' Sportscow, How'sit?
I'm only a hoarder for obsolete PC components and clothes I don't wear.. The only reason I horde those is because I recently got stuff out of various storages after being homeless for a bit. Looking forward to getting some ebay'ing done now that I'm not spending all my money on weed - but living on benefits doesn't give you much to play around with at the best of times..

Hoping we'll stick with the one type of weather today being sunny. Think the weather has been a bit less volatile down south.. I'm debating whether I can be bothered to walk 10 miles to see some mates so it wants to stay sunny if I do...

If you see my mum, tell her to give me a call..
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:05, Reply)
Oh god, you're a benefit scrounger?
Why don't you get a job instead of sponging off my hard earned taxes?

And how are you allowed internet when you don't have a job?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:40, Reply)
I'm 'allowed' internet because I pay for it
And I've had jobs in the past, so I've paid my fair share of taxes as well. I'm signed off work because of health problems, not because I'm too lazy and feckless to get a job
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:49, Reply)
Sounds like the kind of bollocks excuse a lazy scrounger would come up with.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:53, Reply)
Take it or leave it. Makes no difference to me...

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:54, Reply)
VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
God I feel awful.
The breakfast I had yesterday has near killed me.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:45, Reply)
It did look quite impressive.
Did you manage the chicken breast?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:48, Reply)
I told them not to cook it
As I thought it would go to waste.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:13, Reply)
I have hoarding tendencies
When I moved out of my house and into a furnished flat I got rid of so much stuff - tons binned and a dozen boxes given to charity. But I could easily start again if I don't watch it.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:47, Reply)
Did you get your job in London?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:48, Reply)
Yes, I start at the end of the month
Got to start packing again, got a flat in Whitechapel to move into if the letting agent gets his finger out of his arse.

Now that I've made an offer on a place he seems much less interested in sorting everything out. It's almost as if he was never really my friend AT ALL!
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:57, Reply)
I'm shocked that a letting agent would appear friendly until such time as they have your money.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:01, Reply)
He must have been a 'rogue agent'. Normally they're just delightful, genuine people
who definitely don't reek of cheap aftershave, ever.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:24, Reply)
Dangerously close to Tayyabs, Needoos and Monty

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I will have him 25 stone and mad from drugs within six months.
This is my pledge.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
It'll be like looking in a hairy mirror

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Also, morning everyone
I'm worried that I might actually like running....
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:00, Reply)
It's strangely addictive isn't it.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:01, Reply)
The feeling of well-being, yes for sure, but I have never managed to enjoy the actual running bit.
It's all rather undignified. Last time I went,, some 'chicks' took pictures of me.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:25, Reply)
Oddly, yes
Sticking to 10K at the moment, just to build up my stamina. Then going to enter the Great North Run in September
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
You fucking bent cunt.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:24, Reply)
Hey Monty.
It was a picture of the Herald Of Free Enterprise today.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:29, Reply)
Hahahah
Funnily enough I was thinking about that this morning already. I have been increasingly revolted by the 'Titanic' mania gripping the media, some restaurant has recreated the last meal served on it, etc. Very poor taste if you ask me - then I got to thinking about other famous disasters and wondered if my local chippy would do a Herald of Free Enterprise 'last meal' menu of chips and mayonnaise.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I remember being really annoyed that the Saturday morning children's programmes were all cancelled
So that they could show constant footage of a ferry lying on its side.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Best Saturday morning ever*

*apart from 'Five Star-gate'
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
I remember this too
No fucking Transformers

PAH!
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Surely a roll would be involved?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Served in brine

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
I prefer the term 'fresh-dipped b-roll' personally

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Hahahaha

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Excellent

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I'm fighting my hoarding tendencies
When I moved out of my last place (a 3 bed flat) I binned - wait for it - an entire builder's skip of crap. That's eight cubic yards of stuff I was certain I would use at some time, some of it still in the bags/boxes from seven years before when I'd moved in.
I now have a declutter every month.

Alt: Hopefully we'll only have one type of weather today and you'll not have my mum at all. She's dead.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:03, Reply)
but that's the way he likes her Placid.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:04, Reply)
Ah but...
... I should have said dead AND powdery - she was cremated.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:06, Reply)
He'll mix her up with some vaseline and stuff her into an oven glove.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:11, Reply)
HA!
one of the first times you've made me laugh out loud!
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:30, Reply)
Are you seriously telling me that this didn't raise a chuckle?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
That's it Al!
I'm deleting you off facebook.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:38, Reply)
OH FUCK NOT AGAIN!

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:41, Reply)
WILL YOU NEVER LEARN?????

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Have some stuff in a storage unit which I need to sort through. Some of it (eg motorbike leathers) I will sell. The rest will be binned.
Best recent purchase is an iPad. The next one I hope will be Apple TV with a netflix account. Will then get rid of Sky movies.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:12, Reply)
I'm very clutter free.
I use eBay all the time, get half my threads off there. Selling is a nightmare though, I just use private forums. It's free and not populated by cunts.

Alt: I'm walking through Liverpool Street now and the sun is beating down, I think it'll stay like this, which reflects my current mood. Barry is one happy chappy, big hugs to all.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:26, Reply)
How did the date go?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:30, Reply)
*does happy dance*

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:32, Reply)
sounds like someone got some action. ;)

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:32, Reply)
I stayed at hers.
No funny business, I don't put out that easy. I can confirm she has a lovey fanny though.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:38, Reply)
Fannys are SRS BSNS

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
You should get her a card from Moonpig to let her know.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
.... hay, [female b3tan name], do you mind making a card for Baz?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
So what did you get
Cloth tits, inside tops or thigh hands?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Excellent

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Gaylord.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:33, Reply)
I only tend to hoard DVDs and games
And even them I get sick of from time to time. I've shopped on eBay a few times, it's saved me a lot of money, including the time I managed to get a full corset set for the missus for £35.

Alt: 7 types of weather, and 0 times, as I can honestly assure you, she's not even worth the drive, let alone the dig.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:32, Reply)
I am the hoard-meister. I am the human Smaug, the original mongol hoarder.
However I prefer the term 'specialist collector'. Lusty would prefer a minor house fire.

I've pruned my sneaker collection down to about twenty pairs, and next month I am getting more racking for the excess vinyl that's piled up on the floor, and a wall rack for my 45s. This will make the flat look a bit larger. But we also have 7 and a half guitars and I own a lot of books, so it's a losing battle.

I will not sell my stuff, though - I've done that before in hard times and then had to re-buy all my old records again for many times more than I paid for them previously. Not happening.

Alt: four
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:33, Reply)
20 pairs?!
Fucking hell.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:35, Reply)
I had easily 60-70 at one point, including multiple pairs of the same ones bought in the sales.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:38, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1588275
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
I prefer the term 'fresh-dipped B-boy' personally.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Poofter

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:41, Reply)
I prefer the term 'fresh-dipped B-boy' personally.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:45, Reply)
I think racking for records is a good idea in principle,
but then I look at the price of it and think about how many records I could buy with the same money.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:35, Reply)
I have a wall of crates, plus mountains of them on the floor and in my DJ boxes and bags.
The crates were custom made and I can't get any more, but the double cube versions of these are almost identical so I am getting them from here:

www.i-cubes.co.uk/
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
MONTY THEY'RE ON SALE QUICK QUICK QUICK BUY THEM BUT THEM NOW QUICK!!!!!

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)
It's like you can see into my mind.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Poor you.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
No no, poor you.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
HAHA!

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:51, Reply)
these appear to be 4 pieces of ply of equal sizes joined together and painted garish colours; and they want £25?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
OK, lintel boy
You make one
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
He can't even make a correctly-spelled coherent sentence in his supposed mother tongue, ffs.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
I don't even want the coloured ones.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
I'm down to about forty trainers/shoes now.
Used to be about seventy which is just fucking stupid.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:10, Reply)
I own about 3 pairs
I need a shopping spree
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
A man needs a different jacket and pair of trainers for each day of the month.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
I don't have a different jacket for each day of the working week Baz

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
I need a new jacket.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Thanks "Phil Collins"

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Thortscow

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Screeeeeeeee

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
10/10

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
The only things I keep hold of are records and instruments.
But I think there is a fine line between hoarding and collecting.
However, Mrs Dupinblue is a terrible hoarder and our house is a clutter of books and clothes. Since having children she has extended this to include toys as well.

Alt: As many times as you had her yesterday, I would think.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Ah, instruments! *looks around shiftily*
I couldn't bring myself to declutter them. I currently have 8 guitars (1 'silent', 1 7-string, a double-neck, a steel-bodied resonator and 4 acoustic/electric 6-strings) a Mandola and a bass recorder. Can't think of a reason to get rid of any of them.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I donated my Ibanez Roadster piece of shit to our ICT apprentice
Got it for £30 in a house clearance auction
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)
FFS
There's weird chap who works in our warehouse who had Friday off because of some drama over his son. I asked him what that was about and he says his son told him he had a massive lump on his bollock.

He then said 'Who'd have kids eh? Oh, hang on, you have a daughter, don't you? You've got all this to come, then', to which I felt duty bound to reply 'what, testicular cancer scares? I doubt it, to be honest'
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:51, Reply)

The amount of shit you've taken, if she sprouts trouser eggs then it wouldn't be that surprising.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:55, Reply)
After 6 trips to the local tip and £100 to a man with a van
I have very little junk left.
My vinyl is at my parents' house and I have one large box of photos/memories/shite. Anyone who visited my very old massive cluttered previous home will know what a big deal this is.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I tried and failed to drill into a lintel over the weekend to mount a blind
so a glued a piece of wood up and screwed into that as well, this ripped the wallpaper off, so i reglued the wood to the plaster, this ripped the plaster off, so I reglued it to a lower layer of plaster, this ripped that off

I hate DIY.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Did you also eat a fly?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
It would have been more satisfying
in other news I made Butter Balti Chicken last night with coconut rice, which was epic
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
You're a butterball.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
He comes bouncing back for more

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
+ food

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
I am fucking starving

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
I think I've lost weight recently
ever since I had that 24hr stomach bug I've had little appertite
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
It's probably aids. The bad kind.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Now that sounds excellent
I love butter chicken

er
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
It was so easy as well
I've now got to the point where I have nearly al ingredients for Indian cooking in my cupboard, makes it much less daunting.

I do need a pestle and mortar though.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
I have a stone one
They are excellent
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
grinder's probably better for indian stuff
pestle and mortar is a fanny for getting fine powders.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Could I commission some record boxes from you, please?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)
He is a modern day Picasso

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Sure thing, now do you need them to be solid/secure/not dangerous?
No? then i'm your man. I can bring my own waterproof trousers as well
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Just stop pissing yourself, eh?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
How do you manage to fail at drilling a hole?
I mean no disrespect.

Haha j/k of course I do.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
The lintel is too hard...I haev a new drill bit and everything
curtains and blinds are my Everest
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)
What's it made out of? Did you drill a pilot hole?
Did you manage to buy a masonry bit?

Patronise, patronise, patronise, you get the idea, I'm sure.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
I have a masonary bit fo sho, although it may now be blunt as it got "quite hot"

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
It will be a steel lintel
so you need an HSS bit.

You fucking tool.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I'd love to have been there to see it.
I would have laughed. I would not have lifted a finger to correct him.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I would have enjoyed watching as he destroyed his masonary bit
and then after getting annoyed and cursing his "useless fucking drill" suddenly looking pleased as the idea of using glue occured to him.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
I'm astonished he didn't just go straight down the No More Nails route.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I fuckin love NMN

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Delicious but deadly

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
He was better in D12 I thought

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
Yeah, it's great
if you want to do a shoddy job and never want to take whatever it is down ever again.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
nah, it feels rough when i have a poke around so i think it's concrete
i had the smae problem in my last flat, i think lintels hate me
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
If your masonry bit got hot and blunt
then it's not concrete. Masonry bits are designed to cut through concrete and brick. That's kind of their raison d'etre.

Usually I wouldn't point out the blindingly obvious, but you know. Situations etc.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
nah, it could be
There was a habit a while back of putting shed loads of pebbles in the concrete for lintels. My old place darn sarf was like that. Only an SDS drill will touch that kind of shit, you need the extra hammer action to shatter the pebbles. Matron.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
He should have read this.
www.wikihow.com/Drill-Into-Concrete
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Hahaha
You could hang a killer blind with that thing.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
you could hang Barry White with that thing.

Edit - It's monday, and so my humour glands are off-kilter - can we just pretend that I did the following?

blind whale?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
if it's concrete with pebbles in
you'll need an SDS drill.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Ebay? Never heard of it.
I have computers for old dears today. That should be fun. Sigh.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Show them cakefart.com

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I actually dread to think what delights await me there

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Pretty sure it does what it says on the tin.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
Hence the dread

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
It certainly made for a confusing wank

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
cakes farting?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:42, Reply)
When I moved from my last place to my new place I filled about 15 industrial sized bins full of stuff.
Probably tens of thousands of quids could have been made on ebay. I didn't even bother to go into my attick on account of me not going up there for a year so its not like I use anything up there. The only thing up there that I know about and miss was an electronic guitar and N64, that I was gonna give away anyway. Whoever next rents out that flat is gonna hit the jackpot if they ever go up there.

The weather is gorgous, it's a glorious day, but I feel like there is a knife in my guts 'till my tablets kick in. OH WOE IS ME, THIS WRETCHED DESEASE IS A CURSE.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
I always check in the attic
Just in case there is some forgotten treasure.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
like dead kids?
You sick fuck
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
They tend to struggle less
and they aren't going to tell anyone.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)
I am hanging this morning.
I had a couple of ciders last night in preparation for ciderboating. Crippled, I am. I have an old school comedy hangover; pounding head, sunglasses indoors, telling people not to shout and all the fun of the fair.

I hoard. I am a hoarder. I have a PS3 I never use. I could easily eBay it for a tun, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
I have an Xbox 360 thing to make me look like a cool kid.
I haven't used it since we moved and I can't safely use Rock Band at parties.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)

make me look like a cool kid lure unsuspecting children into my Wonderland lair.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)
I've got a load of puppies and the van of sexual urgency for that.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
My brother got so drunk at my house on Saturday
that when he got back to Leighton Buzzard he got into bed with his missus' mate. Not in *that* way, he just dove in and started happily snoring away, apparently. She told him to go home and he did - woke up in his own home none the wiser until he was told of his antics later on.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
He went to Leighton Buzzard on purpose?
Oh dear, he must have been drunk.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
It's not so bad, as far as commuter belt satellite market towns with nothing to do in them, go.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
I've never been, to be honest.
It's not like blind, ignorant snobbery is a trait of those brought up in Surrey, or anything.

Quality name, though.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Kajagoogoo were from there. That is all you need to know.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)
I'm surprisingly fresh.
Despite having a ton of cocktails last night. My wallet however is in tremendous pain seeing as they were £14 a go.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I'm usually fine on cocktails, lots of fruit juice etc.
Apparently cider gives me a bad hangover. I'm going to be blind on Sunday, I think.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Beer does me over.
It's weird, if I have tons of the stuff I'm fine. But it's when I have four or so pints that the next day I get the worst hangover in the world. Doesn't kick in until I've been awake for a few hours either, it's horrendous when I'm out of the house and it hits me out of nowhere.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Stunned has already vowed to piss the bed.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
That man is all class

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
I'm trying to de-clutter the flat at the moment.
I've got far too much sports equipment. And kitchen equipment. And books. Definitely too many books.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
If you have a food mixer that works but you don't want, I'ld be happy to take that off your hands.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I've got three, sadly.
Magimix, a hand blender/chopper thing and a Kenwood Chef. But I need them all, they do different things.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Sweet, deffo them all being handy.
I wanna get one like the Kenwood Chef so I can make cakes and stuff like that and bring it into work and everyone will be like "Oh gonz ! You are such a good chef, have you meet my single female good looking friend?".
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:37, Reply)
While cakemaking skills are good
they tend to attract hot single chicks' mums, rather than the ladies themselves.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Female's female, innit.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
every hole's a goal, Gonz.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Hello!
/darth
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I have a magimix. It's fucking excellent. Makes great smoothies.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
They are fucking excellent if expensive. The lid on mine cracked after 7 years
and the dough hook is broken. But a new lid and dough hook was about £100, so I bought a kenwood instead and partially fixed the magimix lid with gaffer tape. it does need a skewer jammed in sideways to release the safety lock though.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:48, Reply)
Does that gaffer tape also keep your trousers waterproof?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Why yes, yes it does.
Would you like me to tell you about it?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Ideally, yes.
Could I ask that it be in excruciating detail, please?

Thanks in advance.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
i am disappointed to come back and find your not all dead

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
It's mutual.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:48, Reply)
:((
thats two lots of sadness right there
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
make it three fuck face

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
its alright, being insulted by you is like watching a downs syndrome baby get dressed
it struggles, gets all worked up and eventually shits itself ina fit of tears
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Surely this has to top the popular page.
Quinten I love you sometimes.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Kroney died this morning
It's very sad.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:48, Reply)
\o/

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
How was Faliraki anyway?
Did you and ve lads SHAG LOADS OF BIRDS?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
i have never been to any greek islands

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Where've you been then?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)
everywhere that you haven't

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
That is a lot of places.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
i get around

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
My buddies and me

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I'm not quite dead yet, but it can't be long.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
We're just disappointed you've come back.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:48, Reply)
your geriatric husband needs to try harder to keep you in line

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
He's already told her twice
Or she went jogging.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
You fucking cunt
I've got a bad cold if that helps.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
it's just climate adjustment
you'll be fine in a month or so. Been to Lebowskis yet?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Yeah twice!

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
did you test out any of the black or white russians?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
leroy petrovovicz was particularly gentle

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Nah, not yet.
It's all right to start the night but they had some fiddle-dee-dee shite band there last time so we legged it.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
yeah .. I'm not sure I like the bar particularly
but the range of russians is outstanding.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
i had a cold
i got over it, you should try doing that
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
It's not even a bad cold.
It's just a head cold. I was trying to make you feel better.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
i'd feel better if you started licking other b3tans

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Eeee, I bet they taste of biscuity couches

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
fucking digestives, worst biscuit in the fucking world
cunts
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Sawdust

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
'Nice' biscuits are worst.
Most inaccurate name since Barry White.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
i think they're nice

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Great Grandma used to get those.
Big useless crunchy bits of sugar on them.
Nana used to get Malted Milk biscuits. We got proper biscuits in our house.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Malted Milks aren't bad

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
They're alright..
I prefer Rich Tea for a boredom biscuit.
And let's face it, without a filling or a chocolate coating it's a boredom biscuit.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
BISCUIT SUBTHREAD... GO!

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Rocky Robin
They're chock-a-block, man.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
I FUCKING LOVE THEM THE MOSTEST
Those or Butter Keks
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
BK's rule.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
you've ruined this thread
if it comes in its own wrapper it's a chocolate bar, not a biscuit

now fuck off
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
It's mostly biscuit you tit
If I was expecting a chocolate bar and got given that piddling thing I'd smash the house up
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)
standard response from a scouser really
if its individually wrapped its a chocolate bar
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
But it's sold in sixes.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
you get drifters in sixes too

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
and twixxes

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
How is a piddling Rocky biscuit a chocolate bar you povvo

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
you don't get individually wrapped digestives

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)
They don't deserve it

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
unlike rocky robins, which are a sub standard chocolate bar

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
*Premium biscuit

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
i'll give you that
some biscuits fall outside the definition of a standard hobnob, but aren't quite a full chocolate bar

i'll arrange a committee
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Fazakerley

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:29, Reply)
i love ginger nuts
just putting that out there
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Grandad dips ginger nuts in whisky

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Aldi used to do stem ginger biscuits, they were fantastic

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)
i ahve never shopped in aldi in this country

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
You're missing out.
It's not as shit as Lidl you know.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)
i have been to lidl twice

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Chocolate Hobnobs are the best.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)

b3tans windows
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Shurrup ye blurt

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
i am a hoarder but more out of laziness than anything else
the flat looks immaculate, but god help you if you open a cupboard door. then i have mad clearing phases and chuck everything out.

i used to buy a lot of books on ebay, not done so for years. worst drunken purchase EVER: a flashing neon blue light that said "massages" (i thought it would be funny to put it over my flatmate's bed, ignoring the facts that (i) i couldn't put that kind of thing up if my life depended on it; (ii) it came from singapore and thus had the wrong kind of plug; (iii) it simply wasn't funny).
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Oh I entirely disagree
watching you try and put it up would've been hilarious. Even funnier than watching Naked Ape demolish his house whilst trying to put up a blind.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
I don't even know what a lintel is. (I think it's just a support)
In the same way a painter and decorator doesn't know what an interlocking clause is.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
If he decided to do a DIY on whatever an interlocking clause is used for
I'd expect him to do his research and I'd laugh at him if he didn't and subsequently fucked it up.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Yeah, I think you're probably right.
I don't do DIY because I am a cack handed twat. And everything takes so long.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
I find the best way to do DIY is to pay someone else to do it.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
They're the horizontal top stones at Stonehenge.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
I see.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Glad to help.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
I drunkenly bought a door for a bookshelf I didn't own online from Ikea a couple of months back.
Waste of forty quid that was. I've also bought silk boxer shorts off eBay whilst pissed, it turns out they were silk boxING shorts, to be worn whilst fighting in a ring. Were about a 38" waist as well if I remember right. I shouldn't be allowed internet access after having alcohol.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
you should not be allowed internet access or alcohol. period.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Hahahah

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Hahahahahaha.
/click for boxING shorts.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Should've bought a gumshield and had a go

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
barry, i think she's calling you fat and asking if you want a fight

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
If he was fat and old he'd look like Gerbanguly Berdimuhamedov

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Is that the weird cartoon they used to have on C4 when it first started?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
No, was that the thing that looked like a turnip?
Ornebad Strönengen or summat
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Murun Buchstangar.
Close.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Murun Butchstansagur

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
That's awesome.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)

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