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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm really, really irritable today.
Literally everything and everyone is getting on my fucking wick.
Why is this?
Alt: Stop irritating me FFS
Alt alt: What was the best birthday or Christmas present you've ever received? I'm trying to source a non-shit pirate costume for my kid and am going to do her two small paintings. The latter is going to be easier than the former, it seems.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:37, 166 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Literally everything and everyone is getting on my fucking wick.
Why is this?
Alt: Stop irritating me FFS
Alt alt: What was the best birthday or Christmas present you've ever received? I'm trying to source a non-shit pirate costume for my kid and am going to do her two small paintings. The latter is going to be easier than the former, it seems.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:37, 166 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Mine was an original copy of Hendrix's first LP, a USB turntable and a massive Pink Fairies poster.
Thanks for asking.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Thanks for asking.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Does she own any Hendrix LPs yet?
Perhaps it is time to start her collection?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Perhaps it is time to start her collection?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)
She had an 'Electric Baby' babygro as a baby
and I made her watch Jimi Plays Monterey a while back. She loved it, started pretending to smash up her guitar and everything. I love that kid.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
and I made her watch Jimi Plays Monterey a while back. She loved it, started pretending to smash up her guitar and everything. I love that kid.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
It's all Nakers' fault
Alt alt: SAS Rescue Kit, containing: balaclava, periscope, dagger, machine gun & some other stuff I can't remember.
As I was a seven year old boy when I received this, it may not be suitable for a four year old girl.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)
Alt alt: SAS Rescue Kit, containing: balaclava, periscope, dagger, machine gun & some other stuff I can't remember.
As I was a seven year old boy when I received this, it may not be suitable for a four year old girl.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)
Pah!
Quint and shakespear don't need to spell rite to be awesome, why should I?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Quint and shakespear don't need to spell rite to be awesome, why should I?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
They both have a head start on you.
You need all the help you can get.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:58, Reply)
You need all the help you can get.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:58, Reply)
Do you want a hug? *HUGS*
Altalt: why would she want two pictures of your cock?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)
Altalt: why would she want two pictures of your cock?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)
One for each eye.
they are slightly different so it creates a 3D effect.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
they are slightly different so it creates a 3D effect.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I'm in a bad mood.
I sent something special delivery this morning and have lost the receipt. I need to know it gets there safely or I'll drive myself mad. That along with other things has made today rather shit, the only thing getting me through is that I'll be back in London and amongst happy vibes in two weeks and one day. Hurry up time, bloody hurry up I tell ya.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
I sent something special delivery this morning and have lost the receipt. I need to know it gets there safely or I'll drive myself mad. That along with other things has made today rather shit, the only thing getting me through is that I'll be back in London and amongst happy vibes in two weeks and one day. Hurry up time, bloody hurry up I tell ya.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
you poor little lamb. i bet you've run out of hummous as well?
*1st world problems*
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
*1st world problems*
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
What did you expect, for me to say I've no access to clean drinking water?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
manopause?
Alt I reckon
Alt alt I don't know, I got a basketball hoop a couple birthdays ago, but the best gift wasn't for anything it was just a "thinking of you" type thing
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Alt I reckon
Alt alt I don't know, I got a basketball hoop a couple birthdays ago, but the best gift wasn't for anything it was just a "thinking of you" type thing
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
its because your empty life is deeply unsatisfying and your daughter is on the game
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
Can you not make a pirate costume?
Eye patch - easy
Torn shirt - easy
Baggy pants - easy
Hat - easy
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
Eye patch - easy
Torn shirt - easy
Baggy pants - easy
Hat - easy
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)
I suspect you're premenstrual.
Or you're just coming down from a Jeffstock-ralated alcohol buzz.
alt: fuck you, you started it.
Alt alt: my laptop probably.
Did you want to find a shop-bought costume or have someone make one? Does she want to be a generic 'pirate' or a lady pirate? Actually, the age she is, she could get away with a unisex costume really, couldn't she? I would imagine her idea of what a pirate looks like might be somewhat different to the 'Birthdays' idea of what a pirate looks like.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Or you're just coming down from a Jeffstock-ralated alcohol buzz.
alt: fuck you, you started it.
Alt alt: my laptop probably.
Did you want to find a shop-bought costume or have someone make one? Does she want to be a generic 'pirate' or a lady pirate? Actually, the age she is, she could get away with a unisex costume really, couldn't she? I would imagine her idea of what a pirate looks like might be somewhat different to the 'Birthdays' idea of what a pirate looks like.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
I'm still knackered from the bash.
Fuck getting old. Fuck it hard.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:54, Reply)
Fuck getting old. Fuck it hard.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:54, Reply)
^this.
I've got a cold which has settled forcefully into my head. I feel properly thick.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:55, Reply)
I've got a cold which has settled forcefully into my head. I feel properly thick.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:55, Reply)
she already fucks 'getting old'
the force with which she fucks it is moot
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
the force with which she fucks it is moot
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
I assumed The Birthdays were a girl band who had a video where they dressed as sexy pirates
I was saddened to discover this was not the case.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:04, Reply)
I was saddened to discover this was not the case.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:04, Reply)
it's a shit chain of party stuff that sells 'comedy' fancy dress costumes.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
No idea, but I've just lolled quite heartily at something a colleague has spotted on the DM website
It's talking about Sacha Baron Cohen's new film, and shows a picture of him with soldiers backing him.
The DM have reported this as "In an intro to the latest trailer, the bearded character, played by Cohen, is seen sitting on a chair surrounded by gun-wielding plebs."
Alt: Fuck off
Alt Alt: Washing machine, probably.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
It's talking about Sacha Baron Cohen's new film, and shows a picture of him with soldiers backing him.
The DM have reported this as "In an intro to the latest trailer, the bearded character, played by Cohen, is seen sitting on a chair surrounded by gun-wielding plebs."
Alt: Fuck off
Alt Alt: Washing machine, probably.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:53, Reply)
That would depend on how unclean your skiddies were...
...there comes a point when a washing machine is the most valuable commodity imaginable.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
...there comes a point when a washing machine is the most valuable commodity imaginable.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
It made it easier for both my housemate and I
So much easier than having to carry it across town to the nearest laundromat.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:58, Reply)
So much easier than having to carry it across town to the nearest laundromat.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:58, Reply)
You carried a washing machine to the nearest laundromat?
I sense fail in that plan young padwan.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:31, Reply)
I sense fail in that plan young padwan.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:31, Reply)
Certainly the one that has made the most difference, yep
I stopped receiving presents when I turned 18, unless I really want something. I just ask for money now, it's easier.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
I stopped receiving presents when I turned 18, unless I really want something. I just ask for money now, it's easier.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Alt Alt
A sit in a real WW2 Spitfire. I got to hold the stick, press the trigger and make "DakkaDakkaDakka" noises while imaginging I was strafing Poundland in Harlow.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:55, Reply)
A sit in a real WW2 Spitfire. I got to hold the stick, press the trigger and make "DakkaDakkaDakka" noises while imaginging I was strafing Poundland in Harlow.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Are you only saying that because you can only remember your last birthday?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)
No, the present was ace
I can reel off a list of the shittiest presents I've received, which include a stone, a plastic cat, a book on planes my ex wife spent a whole £5 on and the video of Seasame Street my parents bought me when I was nine. I was expecting a Lego trainset. Cunts.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)
I can reel off a list of the shittiest presents I've received, which include a stone, a plastic cat, a book on planes my ex wife spent a whole £5 on and the video of Seasame Street my parents bought me when I was nine. I was expecting a Lego trainset. Cunts.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)
My shittest presents seem to involve dr Who.
The reasoning behind it seems to be: she loves dr Who, she'll love any old shit with Dr Who on it.
I have books, novels, a build-your-own TARDIS, a watch, a pen, some puzzle books... *sigh*
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)
The reasoning behind it seems to be: she loves dr Who, she'll love any old shit with Dr Who on it.
I have books, novels, a build-your-own TARDIS, a watch, a pen, some puzzle books... *sigh*
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Would be awesome if the TARDIS was life sized...
...and hypothetically speaking you could go back in time to 1990 and warn yourself not to get off with Ann Martin at Gary's party because her braces hurt.
And she'll attempt to wank off your mate while you're off in the kitchen pouring her another glass of cinzano.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
...and hypothetically speaking you could go back in time to 1990 and warn yourself not to get off with Ann Martin at Gary's party because her braces hurt.
And she'll attempt to wank off your mate while you're off in the kitchen pouring her another glass of cinzano.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
I'd not only warn my younger self off
But I'd pour the cinzano down the bog for the betterment of everyone there.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
But I'd pour the cinzano down the bog for the betterment of everyone there.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
I would love to go for a flight in one of those
and preferably shoot at some Jerries at the same time
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
and preferably shoot at some Jerries at the same time
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Fucking yes
The best bit is that these Spitfires were available for hire. For a fee, they'll fly over your house/wedding/funeral and do an eight minute display.
It only costs between £1,500-£2k. Fucking bargain.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)
The best bit is that these Spitfires were available for hire. For a fee, they'll fly over your house/wedding/funeral and do an eight minute display.
It only costs between £1,500-£2k. Fucking bargain.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)
My brother's mate had a toy Schmeisser when we lived in Cheltenham.
I had fucking dreams about that toy gun.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
I had fucking dreams about that toy gun.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
No, that's a Scheisser
you had fucking dreams about. Stop sticking it up your arse
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
you had fucking dreams about. Stop sticking it up your arse
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
*chortles*
I had a toy M16 when I was eight, it fired caps too. All my mates had these little pistol type cap guns and I had the daddy.
Lots of non-pc army type lols.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:14, Reply)
I had a toy M16 when I was eight, it fired caps too. All my mates had these little pistol type cap guns and I had the daddy.
Lots of non-pc army type lols.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:14, Reply)
I also had an M-16 with detachable cartridge
Really only needed the M203 grenade launcher for me to be king of the estate
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:16, Reply)
Really only needed the M203 grenade launcher for me to be king of the estate
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:16, Reply)
everything is getting on your wick
Because you are an irascible, elderly assclown with the cultural tastes of a 16 year old quender who has just 'found himself' and gone on a sausage mission for the first time.
Hope this helps.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Because you are an irascible, elderly assclown with the cultural tastes of a 16 year old quender who has just 'found himself' and gone on a sausage mission for the first time.
Hope this helps.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Maybe he believes in miracles
i saw a rainbow last night and almost shat myself
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:42, Reply)
i saw a rainbow last night and almost shat myself
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Stop this gayness immediately
When I take in to account the amount of time spent using it and the amount of cool points it gave me at school I would have to say my ZX Spectrum 48k which I received as a birthday gift from my Grandfather.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
When I take in to account the amount of time spent using it and the amount of cool points it gave me at school I would have to say my ZX Spectrum 48k which I received as a birthday gift from my Grandfather.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Rubber key
My friend had the 128k Plus 2 with the built in tape recorder. What a bastard!
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)
My friend had the 128k Plus 2 with the built in tape recorder. What a bastard!
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)
I had an atari 400.
It used cartridges. I had two. BASIC programming and Pacman.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)
It used cartridges. I had two. BASIC programming and Pacman.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)
it was.
Eventually we upgraded to an atari 800 with a floppy drive, and it had a squillion games. That was ace.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:12, Reply)
Eventually we upgraded to an atari 800 with a floppy drive, and it had a squillion games. That was ace.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:12, Reply)
I'm sorry, NA isn't available at the moment.
Can I take a message and have hime get back to you?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)
Can I take a message and have hime get back to you?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)
OK, can you write this down please sugartits?
YOU - thats Y, no Y, O, U
ARE - no not arse, ARE
A
COCK - cock, not clock C L oh, FFS
*dial tone*
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)
YOU - thats Y, no Y, O, U
ARE - no not arse, ARE
A
COCK - cock, not clock C L oh, FFS
*dial tone*
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)
My folks bought me a Plus 2 for xmas 1986. That was to make up for the Seasame Street debacle three years before
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:15, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:15, Reply)
Is it because you're an objectionable old bugger? I recognise the signs, before you ask.
A laptop and a blowjob for my 40th.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:59, Reply)
A laptop and a blowjob for my 40th.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 14:59, Reply)
swipe's thread is on the PP
someone must have clicked it by accident, who was it? come on, confess
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)
someone must have clicked it by accident, who was it? come on, confess
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)
I'm in a good mood
Have extended my stay in Brum for a week or possibly two, which hugely takes the move pressure off - even more than the very generous offer of a sofa bed in London from a top B3tan did.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Have extended my stay in Brum for a week or possibly two, which hugely takes the move pressure off - even more than the very generous offer of a sofa bed in London from a top B3tan did.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Dunno, I get this some days, it's personality cancer or something.
Alt: OK
AltAlt: A 'Swiss Champ' 30 bladed Swiss Army Knife I got for my 18th, it was pretty much my constant companion for 18 years until I wore it out and brought myself a new one for my 36th. It's pretty much become an extension of me and I hate flying because I have to leave it behind.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)
Alt: OK
AltAlt: A 'Swiss Champ' 30 bladed Swiss Army Knife I got for my 18th, it was pretty much my constant companion for 18 years until I wore it out and brought myself a new one for my 36th. It's pretty much become an extension of me and I hate flying because I have to leave it behind.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)
I'd make an awesome PA.
I already do it for the other half anyway.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
I already do it for the other half anyway.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:13, Reply)
I was implying that potential sexay times with mr b3th caused his hospital visit due to over-excitement
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
I know.
Now I'm implying that you're a spastic. And a flid. And a massive bender.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Now I'm implying that you're a spastic. And a flid. And a massive bender.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Mr Ape thanks you for your enquiry
and would like me to tell you that you are a Northern cunt, with his compliments.
If there's anything more we can do for you, please let me know.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
and would like me to tell you that you are a Northern cunt, with his compliments.
If there's anything more we can do for you, please let me know.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
WHat's the wage, I'll be better than b3th.
edit: this post proves my typing skillz
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:14, Reply)
edit: this post proves my typing skillz
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:14, Reply)
it's more of a work experience role to start with
but there is definately a job at the end...
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
but there is definately a job at the end...
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
It was a joke about working remotely. All my best lines are always wasted on PAs.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:35, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:35, Reply)
Today is International Subliminal Bowie Reference Day
Everything everyone does is a very, very, very, very subtle reference to something from the body of works of David "Bowie" Jones.
I only took up Ballroom in anticipation of this day. Let's dance
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Everything everyone does is a very, very, very, very subtle reference to something from the body of works of David "Bowie" Jones.
I only took up Ballroom in anticipation of this day. Let's dance
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Was it incredibly mean of me to post this just because I knew it would lead to a deluge of Bowie references?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:27, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:27, Reply)
I am sure Monty is Dead Against It, but the rest of us will enjoy it, though it might cause Panic In Detriot.
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:29, Reply)
( , Thu 26 Apr 2012, 15:29, Reply)
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