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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I remember several years ago me and Blousie got fucked up on cooking sherry and brasso and decided to head for Bristol to try and find Banksy and tell him how shit his shit graffiti vandalism is. As we got off the train at Temple Meads a copper approached us and told us to hand over the booze, Blouise said "its fuckin brasso pork chop, now fuck off would you". Next thing I know we're being bundled in to the back of a police van by four coppers, one now had a broken nose and another a large cut above his right eye. Blouise was screaming "Do you know who the fuck I am?" Next morning I wake up in a cell with a fucking splitting headache. A copper opens the cell door and just says "Come on, get up". I stagger out of the cell and he takes me to the front door and says "I don't want to see you again" I see Blouise sitting on the wall outside the station with a cheesy grin on her face. "How did you get away with that?" I asked "Oh I just sucked them all off behind the bins at the back of the station" she replied with a chuckle. We headed home agreeing it had been a great adventure.
Never did find Banksy though.
No Question simply share your 100% true memories of Blousie.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 7:05, 91 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
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Wiping syphilitic sperm out of her eyes and off her chin she did a massive fanny fart and asked me to buy her pint. Which I did out of shear admiration for her determination to give a bunch of tramps a good time.
Top girl.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 7:58, Reply)
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I thought we agreed on that.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 7:59, Reply)
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and how they drank a whole bottle out of your jacksie.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:02, Reply)
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a Neanderthal forehead and a lumbering, imbecilic way about you with no visible intelligence. It was an easy mistake to make.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:34, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:36, Reply)
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when Blousie and I infiltrated a Moldovan people-smuggling operation being run out of an industrial estate in Wigan. Her in-depth knowledge of Moldovan culture and language was invaluable, enabling us to penetrate ‘Mr Big’s’ intimate circle without detection until it was too late. Poor Mr Big. He was never the same after that.
PS Happy Birthday, Bigglesworth.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:31, Reply)
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Have a lovely day, don't listen to the bunch of fanks on here, they're all retarded.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:37, Reply)
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and tell me who that is. Thanks in advance!
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:42, Reply)
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It refers to the mentally deficient owner of DW Sports, and Wigan Football Club
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:43, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:02, Reply)
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I cannae link you to any wicky wicky. But go and look up NWA Express Yourself on YouTube.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:34, Reply)
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Always known as an upstanding member of the community, renowned for her cake baking skills, her trestle table was always the most popular at the village fête.
It was as a blushing young choirboy that I first encountered this pillar of the community. Whenever we took a break at choir practice she was always on hand with some freshly baked biscuits and home made lemonade.
It was only later in life that I discovered the true service that she provided for us all, not one of the choristers in that period was interfered with by our priest - an amazing achievement for the early 80s. It transpired that while we were tucking into our snacks, good old Blousie was dressing herself as a boy scout and giving the priest handjobs behind the pulpit.
The randy old god botherer was so drained that he never had the energy to molest any of us.
Not only this, but I think it is fair to say that every single one of us lost our virginities to her over the course of that endless summer.
Gorblessya Blousie and all who sail in yer!
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:40, Reply)
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Akabusi scaled the walls of the £756,000 Sussex mansion with all the stealth of a gekko on a Mallorcan shower wall. As luck would have it the window was open. He dropped in and slipped out of his dungerees and let the cool air caress his polished ebony skin.
The house was quiet. He looked into one room and saw the sleeping Peter Andre - without the wig and wax on his face he was rather beautiful. But Akabusi wasn't into arses. Not today.
He heard a noise coming from the bathroom. He ran along the landing, his giant cock swinging in the air like Saddam on Youtube. He looked into the bathroom and saw a mad little f**ker, big as a barrel and blind as a bat leaping up and down in some boiling water.
"Akabusi!" said a voice behind him. "Stop looking at that mong with your cock out".
Akabusi slowly turned around and saw BGB in front of him - wearing nothing but a Juicy Couture camisole and the slightest glistening of her ample clunge.
As ever Akabusi's cock became harder than the Guardian cryptic and proceeded to bang her tits off as Harvey ate a bag of Prawn Cocktail crisps from the floor that Akabusi had brought just in case.
Before Akabusi left he wiped his now dying cock on Harvey's afro, bent down to the prone BGB, who lay liked a painter's radio in the moonlight, and whispered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:44, Reply)
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I'm afraid it's a "See me after class" in red pen.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:39, Reply)
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We had been in the "shit" for a couple of months and both had the thousand yard stare. A big jar head Marine captain had given us the dubious honour of leading the rescue mission of some French officers who were caught behind gook lines.
Needless to say, I took one in the buttocks and Pang carried me out of there tucked into her bra strap.
You saved my life that day, Blousie. Happy birthday.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)
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but was considered dangerous, a bit of a maverick. She fought the system, played volleyball and rode a throbbing motorbike everywhere. Somehow she passed the course even though her best friend was tragically killed in an ej
luckily she still had time to shot down some muzzas and save America from the brown people.
the end
ps there were also many bummings
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:55, Reply)
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if you want to do it cheaply
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 8:57, Reply)
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b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1317149
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:02, Reply)
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so there was this one time when i was bosley from charlie's angels right, and the angels were darth, BGB and hattie jacques (this was before tv was invented so it didn't matter that they were all ugly), and anyway this one job we had we had to steal like some hosages or shit from like a nazi prison camp full of semi naked black guards with awesome weapons of mass destruction.
and anyway right we broke in and POW they only had a fucken HULK, and the HULK uppercutted BGB in the tits, right into space, right and then they fucked each other in the arse, cos BGB's got a clitoris like a lady hyena (lady hyeanae have a nine inch clitoris/birth canal) right? and all the hostages and nazis died cos of the HULK and BGB spunk drowning the whole fucken world.
and even so, this story is more believable than Psychochomp having a stripper girlfriend. Even if she does have a eastenders face
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:08, Reply)
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and the HULK baby shat the moon
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:13, Reply)
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you'll see what i mean
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:28, Reply)
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i1.cdnds.net/12/12/300x225/soaps_eastenders_linda_henry_2.jpg
www.tvthrong.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/june-brown-pic-getty-300x213.jpg
2.bp.blogspot.com/-2U4ArMUKvQY/ToirKytY3uI/AAAAAAAAAAw/LsDKj855uQg/s1600/closeup.jpg
nowmagazine.media.ipcdigital.co.uk/11140|0000069ce|3932_Cheryl-fergison.jpg
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:32, Reply)
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Well i never...
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)
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i bet next to each other they'd all seem prettier
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)
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I'd vomit having to sit opposite two matching pudgy faces
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)
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They laugh it all off later in Nando's when they're out double dating.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)
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Though her titgazzes are of the highest quality
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:16, Reply)
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I met her in Hong Kong when she was married to a Russian Intelligence officer, and she tipped me off that there might be a high-ranking Soviet mole in the British Intelligence Service.
Sadly I didn't give a shit, though.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:18, Reply)
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I bet you'd get some top level reaction on there.
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:25, Reply)
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www.sra.org.uk/home/home.page
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:33, Reply)
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trying to work out how many ways that could be wrong
( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)
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( , Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)
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