Last week.
I kept a girl company whilst she was working behind a bar, I got so pissed on free cocktails I genuinely have no recollection of being there and she doesn't reply to my texts any more.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:47, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I got so pissed on free cocktails and beers a couple of weeks ago
that Lusty and I had a row about my mum's windows and I stormed off and stood in the rain.

What. A. Prick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:48, Reply)

hahaha!
You tit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Your Mum's windows need licking

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Gayest argument of all time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:50, Reply)

Was your stance that they were "fucking shit" and hers that they were only windows.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:54, Reply)

i suspect Monty prefers the open source attitude of Linux
whereas Lusty likes the corporate stability availible with windows.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

Yes it was.
Almost exactly. My brother and I are ashamed of our mother's 750 grand house because it has plastic window frames. This makes us cunts.

*cries*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:08, Reply)

It is much nicer to have wooden ones
but upvc is far more practical
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:12, Reply)

Vile and wrong.
Proper non-council windows for me, please. The heating/draught benefits can get to fuck.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:13, Reply)

There should be sufficient warmth provided by using analogue stereo equipment.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:16, Reply)

cheaper
mahogany with double/ triple glazing is what's practical
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

She's right you know
It does.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

It's quite possibly the ugliest house in Winchester and our mother really does know better.
The Victorian terrace she had before was ten times better.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:18, Reply)

I love that you're still trying to have this argument

( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)

There is no argument.
*stands in rain*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)

I'm with you old chap

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:24, Reply)

Haven't got a brolly on you, by any chance?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:27, Reply)

How about some waterproof trousers?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Depends on the brand?
For value I favour the Peter Storm, however the gusset on the Sprayway brand is more flattering. For elastication it has to be the North Face, every time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:31, Reply)

He's going to storm off in a minute.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)

Haha you liability.

( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Ahahaha you fucking wanker.
proper lol here.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

you know what keeps you dry when it rains?
windows.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

DAWG!
*high fives*
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:48, Reply)

I remember this story!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:49, Reply)

I mean we're still talking.
But I think she ain't as keen. Seeing her next week and she's coming down to London in a couple weeks and shes never been before so I can use that to my advantage.
Did you know after I left you and DG I curled up into a ball on the grass outside Eldon Square and laid there for about an hour? I felt like death.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Hearing about season fourteens best bits from Doctor Who has that effect

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

i do hate proles coming up to london for the day
but at least your girl admits she's never been before. worst of the lot are peasants who think they know london really really well, because they've been a few times.

we don't want their sort here, whining about the cost of a pint and clogging up the transport system. make them fuck off back to the provinces.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

THANKS
You PRICK.

Drinking, underground toilet etc.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

i don't think i've ever been called a prick before
it seems like a male insult to me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Oh, well I saw a sneaking glimpse of that hairy, swinging scrotum poking out from your skirt
in that last photo you sent me and I just kind of put two and two together.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:06, Reply)

The last thing we need is you coming here from Slough
bringing that curry and shit smell with you
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Kroney will have to work hard to come back from this

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:03, Reply)

I'm going to be wearing cologne, actually :(

( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:05, Reply)

'Polio' by Raph Lauren

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Nah, it's a date.
"Desperation" by Calvin Kline.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:09, Reply)

10/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Her dad lives down here but she doesn't like him.
She's down for four days cos she's got job interviews etc. She's asked me to show her cool places, so if I do end up taking her out it'll be to The Mayor of Scardey Cat Town. I don't really like it but it always impresses people (girls) who haven't been.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:03, Reply)

If that's what I think it is
that's so hip I'm amazed breathing isn't too mainstream for it. It needs fucking firebombing, hipster wankers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

I hate how contrived it is.
But if girls from London think 'wow!' when they go in, imagine taking one from Middlesbrough. What do you think it is?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

If she is from Middlesbrough, you could probably impress her with indoor plumbing.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:12, Reply)

This, with the force of a thousand suns.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:13, Reply)

underground bar that you have to secretly "ask" in a restaurant to get into.
Entrance is in hidden in a freezer or other such totally pretentious wank.

But, yeah, I can see you'd be getting fingers and tops minimum off a Middlesborough lass for that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:13, Reply)

A can of Diamond White and some chips would get you that from a Middleborough bird

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:18, Reply)

In that case he's probably bang on for a reverse Dutch steamboat.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)

You are correct sir.
I've been there twice, stayed for one drink both times. The seating arrangements are shit as well.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)

is that because they'd freeze off?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:28, Reply)

You are correct. 'externals' coming in to London should be forced to wear a hat that identifies them as such and they should have to stand aside for Londoners when ordering drinks, using public transport etc.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:05, Reply)

The famously welcoming, friendly London character at work, right here.

( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:21, Reply)

I love London.
I love being here, I love working here, I love walking round here. I wonder what it is about the place that drives so many people to hate it.

And then things like that make me realise how unwelcoming it can be and makes me sad.

it's not the visitors here that are the problem, it's the people who think they own the place.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:24, Reply)

I love how many different folks are here.
My only bugbear are people standing in the middle of the pavement taking photos. I once saw a Chinese group taking a photo OF A PHOTO of London. The world's gone nuts.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:26, Reply)

it's plebs that are the problem
but this is true anywhere, i guess
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:27, Reply)

No, really, it's the people that think they own the place.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:29, Reply)

Some of us do own parts of it and pay ridiculously for the privilege.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:29, Reply)

The only thing that puts me off London
is the sheer amount of people. I am famously intolerant of people.
( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:30, Reply)

I'm very much torn in two, as a londoner.
On the one hand, I wish to show off the greatest city on the planet, as I swell up with pride every time I walk across the thames.

On the other hand, I fucking hate tourets.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 13:00, Reply)

She'll be devastated to hear it

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 13:06, Reply)

DG's wife?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 20 Jun 2012, 13:11, Reply)

This coming from the Yorkshire girl that was raised in Cheshire?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:09, Reply)

"Ah do 'ate prerls coming oop London fer t'day"
etc
( Kroney, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

yes but i've been here for 16 years
which is fine. i'm not some yokel who brings mates here to look cool.

fuck off yokels. you're not cool. you're IN THE WAY.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:11, Reply)

Fuck off home, n00b.
Edit: Adding a ;), as that seemed really fucking harsh.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:25, Reply)

Another notch on the bedpost of life for Barry
this tale of woe probably needs 2 t-shirts, a pair of boots and some new sunglasses to help you recover
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:53, Reply)

I do need some new sunglasses.
I haven't bought anything for weeks. I feel light headed about this.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:56, Reply)

I failed to buy some Persol ones on eBay

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

don't forget about your favour later on sportscow
cool
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:59, Reply)

I hope he takes a video on his phone

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Ah man.
Keep hunting playa, they're ace. And not too expensive on there. So ace in fact my mum's nicked mine and won't give them back. Didn't wear them once whilst I was away. She 'accidentally left them in her bag' when she went to work this morning.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

What a fat thieving cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

so they are womens sunglasses then?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 13:26, Reply)