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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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you're all so mean and bitter these days, lets all have a snugglewuggle.
pick someone and say something nice about them.
I like monty because he's poor and poor people are always willing to give you their last jaffa cake.

Alt: if you could meet a b3tan you've never met who would it be and what would you say to them?

Altalt: why do some stupid pricks insist that a jaffa cake is a biscuit? clue's in the name, numbnuts!
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:47, 269 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I like Jeff cos he does funniez
alt: I want to meet barry so i can rain down some holy accord vengence on him for being a tea leaf.

altalt: the cake bit is important as cakes do not attract VAT
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)
baz is a thief?
what did he steal?
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)
drugz
and supermodels
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)
massive drugz?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
But of course

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
he stole monty's last half oz of poppers

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
but how is he supposed to have the gay sex now?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
'prrractice'

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I think you've had enough by now.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)
You can never have enough gay sex.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Stuart Lubbock would disagree

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
The biggest.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
oh man!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
I also like Rswipe cos she says she loves me and it makes my willy feel funny

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
she'll let you shit on her if you buy her a pint.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
deal

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:58, Reply)
i like sportscow because he is consistent

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Damn right

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Consistently HARDLY EVER shit

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
:(
HAPPY THREAD TANGLES!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Oh shit, I'll edit it

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me
*sobs*
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
incontinent more like LOLOLOLOL!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I couldn't pick one I'd like to meet
All the b3tans I've met have been lovely

mark morrisons prison shoes is a most welcome addition to here. Thank you for joining our "special" group
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I met you once. You were a massive prick.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
NOT REALLY!!!!
You're average sized.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
ETC.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
v good

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I'll always be the outsider :'(

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Haven't met many then?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
About 8 I think

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Alt: I'd like to meet Mark Morrison's Prison Shoes, because he seems all lovely and fluffy.
I wouldn't say anything, I'd just give him a big hug.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
*snuggles*

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
*sacks*

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
they're all gay for you mmps

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
looks like it's daisy chain time.
oh alt question, who would you bum and let bum you?
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:58, Reply)
all of them
at once
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
COR!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I like Nakers
because he always makes me feel good about myself.

Altalt: I had one of those 'NICE' biscuits once. Lying cunts, it was shit.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
It's not even french

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
If only the same were true about Kroney.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
probably because they're french

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Something about Kroney

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Ben Stiller's less successful...

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:58, Reply)
i wish these didn't make me laugh so much
but they always do.

well, the good ones do.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUfWHJ_RVvY
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Darth is an entertaining fellow, and he owes me a few pints.
That's about as kind as I'm willing to be to him today.

Alt: Not sure really, there's still a fair few I'd like to meet.

Alt Alt: They're fucking disgusting either way.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
get the fuck out.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I like beckycbxbcbdsbcd because she's gone

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
If I could meet one b3tan it would be the one with the nicest arse
Jaffa cakes are indeed cakes though they are overrated.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)
when can you be in glasgow?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)
My sister married a man from just outside Glasgow
I'm not impressed with the quality of arses in his family so you may have to do more to convince me.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)
i said some mean things about scotland that i didn't mean yesterday mmps
plumdozer was being a nob, i hope you can forgive me xxx
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)
I could never stay angry at you!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I don't know who that is :(

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)
The Bertfucker General

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)
sorry, still no idea.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)
ah well

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)
another member of qotw confused by the whole not having sex with family members social taboo
www.b3tards.com/u/e908521f1c6e8c370697/jizzbox.jpg
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)
a picture paints a thousand words

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Robert really missed his vocation as one of those war artists from the WW1, news from the front and all that

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I've met some of you and all were lovely
If I had to single one out it'd be BGB, she's great!
Alt: I can't think of any one B3TAN in particular I'd like to meet, I'd like to meet all of you!
I'd say "Hi, I'm Captain Placid" - now there's original!!
Altalt: The way to determine biscuitosity or cakefulness is as follows:-
A biscuit goes SOFT when it's stale
A cake goes HARD when it's stale
See! Easy when you know how.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)
this is the rapiest post we're all likely to see today

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)
contains no paperclips

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
stop being bitter taht chomp dumped you for a better model
its unbecoming of a lady
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
you think rape, you think paperclips
if you'd said cats, i would have said rogerboresme. if you'd said operation, i'd have said edmund. if you'd said bender, i've have said darth.

just because you don't really have a "thing" is no need to take it out on other people.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)
i wish i had a thing :'(

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
You do have a thing
You are a Ford Probe driving office drone
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
i am sure you can take some tablets for that

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Aren't you the neckless one?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
'I'll show you neckless'

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
^ FILM

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
what film?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Film thing you see at heap magic picture house.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:25, Reply)
The Running Man.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Yeah, thanks for ruining my fucking joke.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Wotevs, yeah?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)
I HAVE A THING!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
he is either the neckless one, who posted a picture of himself
and then couldn't take the heat of people mocking him for looking like a greasy kebab selling weasel with no neck, so denied it.

or the weird one, who posted a picture of 3 random dudes, pretended one of them was him, then denied it.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
....and you'll never know which

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)

know care
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I like Monty, cos he has good musical taste, and approves of Boris Johnson.
Also AA, cos he wears a frock and is amusing. I've only met one B3tan I didn't get on with. You know who you are.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)
OH MY GOD WHOEVER COULD THAT BE

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I dunno, who?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)
WE JUST DON'T KNOW

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)
IT WASN'T ME

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)
IT'S SAFE TO SAY IT WAS ONE OF THOSE BLOODY MUSLIMS

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Not the female ones though.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
it's good that they know their place.
gobby chavs could learn from this, without needing the "stella slap."
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I didn't know Islam admitted the existence of women.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
VERY EFFICIENT
THEY CAN WALK FOR MILES WITH THOSE POTS ON THEIR HEADS
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
it would be more efficient to live near the water

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
or just use the tap in the kitchen.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)
UB40'szzzzzzzzz

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Morning Shaggy.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Calm down, Shaggy.
*Mindpiss*
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
*looks at watch*

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
The screen wouldn't load, honest!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
HELLO SHAGGY

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
*taps screen of watch*
*shakes head*
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I just can't ignore a bandwagon.
I'm a serial jumper
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Peter Sutcliffe had one of those.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Rello!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
hehehehehehehe

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
ZOIKS!
EDIT shit, wrong shaggy
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
ROOBY ROOBY ROOOOOOOO

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I've not met you yet.
But I bet you're lovely really.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
needs moar 'Shaggy'

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
She's BOOMBASTIC

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Am I doing this right?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
i like that rachelswipe, she's cool
alt: i would like to meet rory. he makes me laugh.

alt alt: jaffa cakes are fit. esp the limited edition lemon/lime ones.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:13, Reply)
lemon/lime? Never 'eard of them

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)
omg YES
and you, ape. i'd happily meet you.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)
I do have better than average personal hygene

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
They're citrus fruits.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Today - and only today - the date oalmost continues your sig for you
Tomorrow it'll look like a commentary on a mass lesbian wedding
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
swipey <3 rory!!!!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
that gossip is sooooooooooo 2011

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
poor rory :(

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
ALWAYS ALONE :(

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
sssh now. why don't you go back to your HILARIOUS list of shouted swearwords.
that should occupy you for a good few minutes.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
LOL!
sorry, I should just beaker about myself like anyone gives a fuck.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
sometimes you do
how else do we know about your sick partner and where you live and blah blah mcblah
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)
can I shit on your chest now?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:25, Reply)
no
i don't like it if you ask first. takes away the element of surprise.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)
fucking germans.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)
My Granddad was in the war and he fucked LOADS of Germans.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
shitty titty gang bang.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I like TGB 'cause she left.
Alt - Barry, so I could spill something on his designer threads

Alt alt, don't care either way, Jaffa cakes are shit.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
get out!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
What about pink wafers? They're nice.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
why the fuck are you still here ?!?!?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Darth or barry, I think they'd be entertaining.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
in a point and laugh way?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Nah, they'd both be alright for a drink I'd expect.
I dunno how well we'll get on, but neither are boring like some.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)
So you want to get bummed or go shopping? Plus if you met them both simultaneously
Your chance of getting aids will increase as baz will steal all the rubbers.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
I thought you'd been double dating with Darth already?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
This is most unexepected
Although I suspect you may have met EVERYONE else
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)
you should double date

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I have met a lot of these cunts.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Who's the bestest?
Is it Swipe? I bet it's Swipe
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Best b3tan meeting I've had was with Dr Preference Wormulus, Monty and Donkey Gums.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Flapjack, Gonz, Noit, Baldmonkey, and Fouricci were all good to talk to.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Oh shit.
Obviously the baroness is the best.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Is that because she lives in Norwich and works as a lapdancer?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)
It's because she's my girlfriend.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Well that is a much better reason
Presumably this is why you keep materialising in Norwich.

Gaz me when the prospect of a weekend spent entirely shagging gets dull and we'll have a pint.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)
I have been offered moule frites and ridiculous beer at the belgian pub next time I'm down,
but not got a date set. I'll let you know.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Oh yeah the Belgian Monk, right near the Birdcage
Does the missus live round Pottergate way by any chance? It is really nice there to be fair, and the Monk is excellent, you'll love it.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Nah she lives by the hospital, which is in the middle of no where.
I think I went to the belgian monk in about 2004 but I couldn't be sure.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Christ, yes it is
Threescore way? You can't get fucking anywhere from there without driving, especially since the buses are so crap.

Everyone will tell you this, but try the cherry beer at the Monk. It's fucking lovely. But be warned, you'll be hammered before you know it, cos it's like drinking cherryade.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Is donkey gums lolwaky in real life?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
He's very intense, and is wakki,
but unlike most people that are that excitable, he listens to other people and isn't "ooh look at me"
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)
That was a v funny evening

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Silly Darth.
Everyone knows I'm the bestest.

Everyone who's actually met me, anyway.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
I've not had the pleasure.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Very few people have.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)
i have!
you were lovely. i was drunk.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)
i'm not a cunt, DF

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Darth really ought to get his fucking act together and go to a bash.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
It's not an act, it's a serious piece of pornography-based dramatic satire

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
says the dude who lurked for 8 years before bashing anyone's bishop but his own

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Yeah. Eight years.
Surprisingly coincidental timeframe, that.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)
AA alerted me to a superb gig Thursday gone, and is responsible for my sig
so yes, I owe him several pints, and will thoroughly enjoy sharing them with him. Even if he does fuck goats.

Alt: b3th, Amberl or BGB; "Nice tits" /protests too much

AltAlt: The correct definition is "eurgh, nasty, fuck right off"
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
GET OUT!!!
oh wait, you already are. gaylolz
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I'd like to meet you all*, because that's how nice I am. But as bashes are always somewhere that involves heavy drinking or in scary places that aren't London, that seems unlikely to happen any time soon.

*well, most of you, but there's no point naming names of the others.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)
I'd like to meet darth because I heard that despite the ballroom dancing and gay sex
he's actually quite manly and is well fit.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I would love to know who told you that
I've only met 4 b3tans IRL and can't imagine any of them would admit to saying it
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
just what I heard like, christ! take a fucking compliment.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)
I always have trouble accepting compliments
and coming from a b3tan the chances of it being a wind-up are multiplied by a factor of bastardry

But thank you
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME
christ.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)
For some reason
I read all your posts in the same (internal) voice I hear when I read Text From Dog.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)
*wags tail*
by tail I mean cock.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Name names dammit!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Well don't tell anyone, but I heard t hat Nakers is a grade A twat.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)
I told you that.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Well, I didn't want to break a confidence, but yes, yes you did.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:48, Reply)
All the b3tans I've met have been lovely and entertaining, and didn't mug, rape, or murder me.
That's about as nice a thing as I can say about them.

Alt: I'd want to meet all the rest of you, so I could ask you why none of you want to meet me. *cries*

Alt alt: because people are fucking stupid.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
yes, people are stupid.
lets have a super secret B4SH, just you and me.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I *am* heading back to god's own country tomorrow...
Would you dare venture into the Kingdom?
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
LOTR sex games?
sure, I'll be that elf wench and you be the rugged guy.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
silly mumps.
I was talking about Fife.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
fife sex games?
dunno about that, I'm not into sheep.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I'd meet you, but I'm not going to WSM
soz
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
yeah?
Well, that's your loss, you bent spastic.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I'd like to meet Rory. I wish I'd never met Wormulus as he's a cunt.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I think I'd quite like to meet Rory, Chompy and Quentin
to see if they were different IRL.

Internet = srs bzns
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
i'm not :(

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
*defriends*

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
You've got about as much chance of meeting Rory
as Ed Milliband has of becoming Prime Minister, soz.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
yeah, he thought you were a prick.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Who's most likely to give me some under tops action at the back of the pub?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Darth.
zzzzzzz
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Would I fuck
Circumcised? Never gonna happen
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)
it's because he's jewish isn't it?
YOU MONSTER!!!!
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)
It's actually specifically circumcision
Bear in midn that as a vegetarian's boyfriend the cheese that accumulates under the average male foreskin is my only source of protein
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)
that and all the cum

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Good for your skin too
Most people blame the acne they get in their teens on hormones; in my case it was down to my brief "No Bukkake" phase
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I'd like to go for a pint with you gonz.
you look like a jolly fellow.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Didn't you get any action at the weekend?
Very poor show, that.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Alt: Two Hats seems like a jolly good egg

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
you prick, he's very sensitive about his weight!

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
You're all cunts
except for those of you that aren't cunts.

Some of the cunts are good cunts though.

I hope this clarifies everything.

Alt: I'm torn between Monty and buying the man some booze and swipe to try and convince her not to hang out with bent man-children. Or possibly Darth to discuss "the football", but I might have to wear my anti-bumming pants and they aren't comfy. I don't know, mumpers, it's just too hard to choose. You're probably nearest.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH B4SH

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
We could go out on Sauchiehall Street and have a sweepstake on who gets stabbed first.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)
contrary to the popular view of scots being mean we're actually very generous
stabbings for everyone!
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)
I bet I'd win though, simply by virtue of sounding English.
stabbings for everyone, but sassenachs first.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
the term in these parts in "chib"
ahm gonnae chib you ya cunt!
I am going to stab you, dear chap.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:47, Reply)
I live in edinburgh
over here they get their footman to cut you for them.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:48, Reply)
I thought they just rolled you down a hill.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)
that too.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)
must be fun to give directions to fat tourists.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)
There's nothing I could do to them right now
to make their lives any worse than Edinburgh council have managed.

it's a constant game of "which road will we have shut entirely for a year today?"
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:06, Reply)
When I was a student
I would happily walk around the middle of Glasgow on my own at 3am and felt perfectly safe.

Glasgow's lovely.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)
No one would fuck with you though b3th, would they?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I'm not as hard as Amberl, obviously
but I have a very impressive death glare.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)
I know.
well, some bits of it are fucking awful, let's not pretend that, but mostly it's a bit Ross Kemp. Makes out it's hard as fuck but actually it loves sunblushed tomatoes, prosecco and it cries at "one born every minute"
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I saw someone crash through a pub window in maryhill once.
I thought that only happened in westerns.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)
I've seen a few westerns.
Never seen a Maryhill pub in any of them, though.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)
they even have spitoons :(

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)
yeah, you're a chick.
I've walked through the city centre at three and not been attacked. only cause everyone was already fighting someone else.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)
feeling left out here, badge
:'(
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Man, Q, I never thought you'd want to hang with the dullards like me.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
but you know everything about everything
it would be like drinking with a hockey playing encyclopaedia
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)
*citation needed

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)
careful
it's almost like Q is a nickname or something
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)
its an abbreviation
not some anthropomorphisised bullshit PRICKNAME for a cunt
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)
excuse my language, i get really angry on this subject

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:47, Reply)
You should definitely buy me some booze.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
you have excellent taste

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)
to quote Frankie Boyle
"You're a cunt, but it's okay. I like cunts."
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I'd be delighted to meet up with you, b3thers, but I'm afraid I'm allergic to Somerset.
You'd have to come somewhere else
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)
doesn't anybody listen to me?
I SAID, I'll be heading to Fife tomorrow.

Jeez.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
It's just a shame that you'll never set foot outside of Weston really.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Fuck that, every time I cross the bridge into the kingdom the temperature drops by 10 degrees and a lone wolf howls
It's like Mordor.

whereabouts in Fife? how long for?
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)
It's how they keep the population down to just troglodytes.
and my parents.

Glenrothes. Till Monday.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)
It fucking works

that's just not Edinburgh though. damn you.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)
i'd definitely b4sh with everyone down the dev

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)
We should organise a b4sh, just you and me and neither of us turn up

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)
it's a Monday so hopefully everyone can make it yah ?
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/24450
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)
You should organise it at my flat.
and I'll go out.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)
key's under the mat kind of thing?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Car keys in a fruit bowl kind of thing.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Yep, and keyhole wired to the mains.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I like CQ because I have 'thing' for Wilf Lunn Phileas Fogg shitarses.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I'd like to meet you and DJ at the same time
and try to guess which one was the evil twin.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I had a nice chat with CQ about you over a pint on Thursday
I understand your frustration with the boy Monters, but seriously, you're nearly 40, get over it. Or see a doctor. Or get one of those Swedish pump things.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)
is there a backstory here we don't know about
cos from what i've seen CQ kind of had a bit of a breakdown and left for no reason?
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)
I actually missed all that Q
and to be honest his reasons for not being about are none of my concern, he's a lovely bloke IRL and that's all I'm fussed about
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)
he seemed like a nice guy
he was one of the first here to give me a chance, he seemed to lose it a bit though

i was worried about him
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)
He'll be pleased to hear that

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:02, Reply)

He's alright Q, I don't think he will be back for a while though. I'll tell him you were asking if he could come out and play.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:22, Reply)
What happened to TGB?
Is she dead?
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Wid da Angles

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)
he's dead man, hit by a bus
people were gutted here for ages, i'm surprised you missed it
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Nah, Lusty got pissed up with her and her mum about a week ago.

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)
I saw Lusty's hair on FB

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Her hair has its own page?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Yes

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:22, Reply)
My wife was asking who Lusty was last night and why she has called Leia "Little Tatooine" on facebook
hah!
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Swipe, Rory and Monty.
Gaz me for reasons why.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)
sexy shenanigans

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Something to do with Britishness?

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)
nah it's a union, jack

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:01, Reply)
Monty's German and Rory's Irish
So no. Maybe something to do with losing wars, based on the above
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Monty is part Scots, Rory is a potato dodger and Swipe is northern. It would be like totes cosmopolitan.
(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:01, Reply)
Monty certainly is Wholly Rude

(, Tue 3 Jul 2012, 11:22, Reply)

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