Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So why did that thread get deleted?FFS.
What's up today then shitfucks?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:11,
209 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
fuck knowsAlright. It's tremendously humid in Leeds, I have Slint on my mp3 player and I need a poo.
You?
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:14, Reply)
I have had two shits so far this morning and a third is brewing. It's pissing down with rain here.Today I shall be spending day 3 of my 3 week break evaluating an idea someone has talked to me about for a new business.
I've never heard of Slint.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:16,
Reply)
Slint are great.Maybe not your thing. Have a listen to Washer on YouTube. I started the day with some Public Enemy and now have Spiritualized on.
I have a great idea for a restaurant by the way.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:20, Reply)
66% of all new restaurants fail within 18 months. One of the hardest business types to get off the groundCapital intensive to set up (cook platform alone can be easily £70k, and even a basic interior for 100 covers will be over £100k.
Labour costs are high and margins tend to be low unless you've got a chain; no scale on food costs.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:22,
Reply)
Have you cheered up? You seemed to be in a right strop last night. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:23,
Reply)
You were being abhorrent, I wasn't in a strop. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:26,
Reply)
That seems unlikely in the extreme.Battered? Abhorrent?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:33,
Reply)
You've got eyes and a finger, read it for yourself.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:34,
Reply)
That never happens. Did you see my text last night?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:34,
Reply)
Actually no. I've just double checked and I got nothing from you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
That is odd. Maybe orange blocked it due to the content. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
He was probably just textingTo call you a cock.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
No need. Lusty tells him that everyday. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:47,
Reply)
Damn the Cambridge Evening News. Damn them to hell!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
Can retards please, please, stop being fucking surprised by rain?It's June. In England. It's Wimbledon fortnight. Wimbledon is famous for being rained on.
Are you really that fucking stupid?
*and breathe*
Sorry, no matter how loud I turned my iPod up I couldn't drown out the woman moaning about it down her phone this morning.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:33,
Reply)
God yes!What retards!!! I bet they don't even know what fucking month it is!!! The stupid wankers!!!!!!!
Hang on....
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
A work friend gave me a Kinder egg this morningTotally improved the day after having to get the bus to work. I'm saving it for later but I'll have my fingers crossed till then that the toy is something I have to make, like a little helicopter, and not some piece of shit ceramic thing. I'll keep you guys posted.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
Oh man, it's just sitting there and I'm so tempted but it's too early for chocolate(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:40,
Reply)
Not much, work is going to be shit, having to deal with dimwitted customers all dayJust trying to organise my getting to Chester on Friday night, if all runs well, I'll be there at a decent time. If any trains are delayed, there's a good chance I'll be delaying the night, not good.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:45,
Reply)
today I am wearing Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier.It's not sunny enough for Issey Miyake, my usual summer scent.
There's a guy in my office who wears L'eau D'Issey all year round. How tacky.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Not as much as they dig a man the size of a normal man,not some wizened dwarf like you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
srsly Monts, chicks dig me.I still occasionally get stopped in the street by women and told how good looking I am.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:55, Reply)
+ my pram(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
Perfume makes me sneeze.And I'm a married father of two, my days of being dug by chicks are long gone.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
Oh no, who done a naughty deleting?Up today is the usual round of pretending to do work while fanning the flames of dying threads on here.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
Juan Quar posted something about the news coming out of CERN about the higgs boson thing.Received a few flippant replies and decided to delete it. Never mind.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:52,
Reply)
Why do they never stay and play with us Batto?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:54,
Reply)
\o/ Hi Batts Did you miss me?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:56,
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Makes sense.At least good friends like you stick with me, however much of a cunt I am.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:58,
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I'm gonna get my mate Pudfree to beat you up.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:00,
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Can't hack the pace and rapier wit.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:56,
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Morning dearie.How's tricks?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:59,
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Soldiering on, old bean.Soldiering on.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:05,
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Haven't you got some collaborating to do instead of posting here?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:58,
Reply)
Nah, I'm not due on strike until 11ish today.So I'm sitting around at home in my pants, instead.
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Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:59,
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No time - he'll be starting his lunch break in a minute.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 8:59,
Reply)
After he's finished burning some sheep.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Kroney's back with a limited edition?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
Something's got a hold of him tightly.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
He sticks his shit in the freezer, nightly?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
He hasn't watched Countdown since the death of Whiteley?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
Pretzellols(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
I'll buy a pintFor the first person to guess why I'm running late for work and why I'm slightly out of breath.
(I await the inevitable abuse)
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
You decided to start hedge hopping on the way?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
You decided to have a wank in the shower.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:03,
Reply)
You're following in the footsteps of Vincent Tabak?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:05,
Reply)
Close.I was challenged to a game of ping pong by some road sweeper.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
You saw a sexy-ass Great Dane and couldn't resist have a go on it?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
What thread was it?I've got to deal with the Social today, that should be fun. I seem to remember them being patronising ....s.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Get a job instead then you lazy unemployed loser.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Morning to you too.Nah, I've decided to go back to Uni this Autumn, so it's a Summer of cider in the park, with the other dossers.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
^ Britain's future right here everyone ^(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
You want to nick the projector you weren't able to carry when you last broke in, right?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
I saw a sign this morning for a local estate agents called T-P-S and all I could think of was Torsonic Polarity SyndromeStill its better than when I go to an ATM.
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Peej, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
My father tells me that where he lives in the Southa number of people have told him that they believe US independence was not that good an idea.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
would it be possibly for us to keep the East and West coasts?Leave the Deep south and centre to the mormoms, racists and sodomisers?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
The South is fucking brilliant.But then I suppose I would think that, seeing as I am a...Mormon
LOL!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
The South is fucking brilliant.But then I suppose I would think that, seeing as I am a...Mormon
LOL!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
To nick a quote from the internetsthey're celebrating the fact that a bunch of aristocratic, slave-owning, middle-aged white guys didn't want to pay their taxes.
Now today their economy is buggered - even Mexican mining companies choose to list on the London Stock Exchange in Pounds Sterling, instead of the US exchange in Dollars.
The 4th of July:
Where the great American people celebrate their independence from an oppressive global regime, that was the cause for many wars, tortures and unfair taxes that crippled many hard-working, ordinary people.
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Peej, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
You can see how they'd think thatgiven how good a job they've done with the place. Funnily enough, it's not the first time I've heard an American say that. This bunch are Republicans, though. They were quoting revolutionary leaders to each other. One quote finished with "we're a new nationality, we require a new nation". So I jumped in with "and then the French got you one".
Pretty edgy internetting, I'm sure you'll agree.
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Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Interestingly, a secondary cause for the war of independence and also the war of 1812was the British attempt to keep the thirteen colonies and later the US confined to the east coast. Britain was attempting to set up a semi-autonomous Native American state that would have stretched from the Great Lakes to the Gulf and from the borders of the thirteen to the Spanish border at Texas.
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Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
We all know you love history Rory, it's ok, you can admit it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:43,
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History was all about a different battle for independence at Rory's school.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:45,
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JULY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!!!!11!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
I love the fact that the discovery of real portals, with a mission to seek them out, and to study them in 2014, and that they're the cause of the northern lights.... is the second biggest science news of the day.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:25,
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but we know what causes Northern lights already...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
Apparently we were wrwongwww.engadget.com/2012/07/04/nasa-thinking-with-portals/
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
see, now that's interestingthank you gonz, not sure how successful they'll be, but at least someone is doing something in space
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:35, Reply)
somewhere in Milton Keynes Chompy just ejaculated(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
That's quite alright Quints, It's heartening to see that there are still people out there who arne't afraid of innovation.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:51,
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It is, but it's sad that they have to resort to silly science-fiction analogies to get anyone interested in the first place(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:43,
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It seems to mearly be a different way of the sun's charged particles breaking through our magnetosphere(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:46,
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It's pretty much thatwell, it's not even necessarily that interesting. It's just a straight-line channel in magnetic fields. A road with no traffic or junctions for EM particles, if you like.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:49,
Reply)
stop being a dickgonz's post is one of the few interesting replies in this shit thread
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Such sapient wit from such a fuckwit.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:36,
Reply)
yes, i should be more witty, like youand reply "Shut up, Battered" to your every post.
You short, overly aggressive, sad twat
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Shut up, both of you. It's like watching two mongs squabbling over a play-doh sandwich. (, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)
she only seems to be doing tuesdays at the momentshe still makes an effort, looks good, good body, but a gail tylsely face
not the end of the world, but still
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)
*gail tilsley shudders*Still, you can't see her mush when you are hurting her from behind in the disabled ladies toilet, eh?
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)
we don't have a ladies toiletand she loves malc, not me
in that photo of not-me that i uploaded, malc was on the right. he's a pretty cunt
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Erm, if you mean the "magnetic portal" stuffI think it's important to point out that this has absolutely fuck all to do with what sci-fi fans call "portals" except in the sense that it contains the same 6 letters in the same order.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
Probably notwell, not unless you really do have multiple accounts.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
Just been chatting to my boss about a lad that was hit by a car in town yesterday, and the fact I have zero sympathy for himFrom where he was lying in the road, it's pretty clear he didn't look before crossing, as otherwise he never would have stepped off the pavement. Add to this the fact that he was only about 20 yards from a level crossing, and the only person I feel sorry for is the driver.
Supposedly, I'm a bastard because of this. Meh, fuck em. Stupid fucking chav should have looked.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
He was mentally disabled you harsh bastard.Well he might not have been but he will be now AMIRITE GUYS!
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Peej, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
AA has *always* been mentally disabled.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
BatteredPutting this picture of me on the webz is way out of line!
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)
That doesn't look much like an ugly Stephen Fry to me.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
Ultimate Street Fighter?I'm really not buying that. Soz.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
From the way he was dressed, this wouldn't surprise me.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
I'll bet he was wearing some kind of novelty t shirt or someth...Oh. Soz.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
Dressed exactly as you'd expect a chav to be, cap and all(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
+ or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party of the United States?"(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
I'm surprised that in addition to his already vast skill set, he's now able to determine the cause of serious road accidents someone call soco in Congleton, they need this man's input
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
"By the way the body is positioned I can determine that this man was a chav". Go go gadget chav detector.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)
By the way he was dressed, I can guess he was a chavFrom the position of the car, I can tell which direction it came from off the junction.
From knowing the area, I know that idiots frequently try their luck at that part of the road.
I could be mistaken, I'll admit. But it's a lot more likely than I'm not.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
Fair enough, I'm just explaining myself.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit! (
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:31,
Reply)
Sherlock Holmes - Chav Hunter(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
i'm surprised he saw anything through the tears of listening to green days latest hit on his phone whilst chewing on his lunchtime munchybox(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
You mean a tautology, you mongol.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
if only i had had teachers like you to inspire me in my youth(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:06,
Reply)
Hahahaha. If Michael Gove manages to change things back to how they were in the good old days, then Monters will be the sort of teacher they will be looking for.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)
I do think some strong discipline is exactly what's neededI was terrified of some of my teachers, at night mostly /film
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:09,
Reply)
Alien. I agree with the discipline point but what I was getting at is that people are making a fuss about introducing spelling, grammar and fact learning into SCHOOLS.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
It's retardedChildren shouldn't learn facts, dates, formulas etc by rote, but they need to learn them and then be taught to use them in actual situations.
Also a clip on the ear won't do them any harm
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:14,
Reply)
I dropped mini ape off at nursery this morning, she watched me leave with her big blue eyes, sat on the floor, hands in her lap and it made me sad:(
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
Handing my kid back to her mother once a week breaks my heart every time.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:14,
Reply)
Ouch. Don't think I could have gone through with that.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:14,
Reply)
She's smaller than all the others as welltbf she is very socialable so will probably be fine and it'll be good for social development. I don't want her ending up like us retards.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
"If you're happy and you know it clap your...oh"(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
They soon learn to bawl their eyes out and stretch their arms towards you as you leave.That's always fun.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
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