Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What confuses you?Are you like one of those girls that askes questions throughout a movie? Does peoples motivation to follow the excretable detail of celebrities lives allude you? Maybe the remote control is simply too much to handle?
alt: Ever driven a digger?
altalt: best ever cheese, or something. I'm a bit in love with grilled halloumi at the moment
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 15:58,
172 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
My marrigae is fine, could use a bit of sunshine for full bloom, but still..(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Everything about modern life confuses meI mean, where's the rule book?
alt: no
altalt: ilchester applewood smoked
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
I bet you think that modern life is rubbish.And it's all a bit of a blur.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)
nice onebut you may have to explain your joke to the boys and girls
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:09,
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I get itbut I'm pretty sure I've seen it on here bfore
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:11,
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I can't think of another song2 carry on with
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:13,
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A universal feeling after these pun threads go on for a while(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:14,
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they do go on and onI guess we just have to accept this is a low
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:17,
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There's no other wayI hate myself for joining in with this
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:17,
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Reality TV, X Factor, Come Dine With Me, etcWhy do people actually make time to watch that shit?
Alt: No
AltAlt: Applewood cheddar is rather nice, but it's got to be garlic and nettle.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:07,
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Hey AA, If I were to go the cinema and I wanted some sweets, but I didn't have much money, what would be the best way of me going about getting some cheaply, or even for free?
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Go to the supermarket before the cinema, it's cheaper to buy them from there.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:47,
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I've never understood celebrity followersor those who talk about soap operas like they're real.
alt: yes, and Diggerland theme park is well worth a visit, much fun.
altalt: whichever is on the pizza at the time.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)
I shall use teh child as an excusesmall girls love diggers don't they?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:10,
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yes, mine loved themhad to be dragged off it kicking and screaming*
*may be a slight exaggeration.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Diggers are cool, I have played with JCB's and bobcat bucketloaders at a theme park ages ago.I much prefer a cheese board than a dessert, Fav. has to be stilton or cheddar.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:08,
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Alt: Not a digger, but I used to get to drive a small tractor in my first job.It was well lol - it had questionable steering and a hand controlled throttle with essentially two settings: stop and full pelt.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:10,
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Not much, I tend to read up on anything that I find hard to understand.(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:12, Reply)
ok, well you won't need to contribute to this thread then will you(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:15,
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He could hang around and explain things to you.That wouldn't be at all frustrating for him.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:16,
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I concur, i prefered rollies back in the day(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:37,
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ElectricityIt is all magic
Alt:No
AltAlt: All cheese is goooooood
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:13,
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Wow, what an amazing coincidenceJust yesterday I blathered on Facebook about my love of cheese and garnered many an effusive response. It's like you and I are sharing one brain. I got the part where spelling lives, and you got the humour, annoyingly.
Mexicana, or Black Bomber, or Red Devil, or anything that makes your mouth explode, basically.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Black bomber is greatI'm lucky enough to have a proper fromagerie on my high street, they sell it there.
speelings are overated
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:20,
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Speelings?There's a brilliant cheesery (I don't care if this is a word or not) on Norwich market, they even do a vegetarian Parmesan equivalent for the missus.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:25, Reply)
isn't all cheese vegetarian?It doesn't contain any animal...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:32,
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Parmesan contains calf's rennet(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:34,
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As noted above, no it's notbut I was fucking confused the first time I brought home what I thought was a yummy present, only to be greeted with the words "Did you check if it's vegetarian friendly?". My reply - along the lines of "No, it's Wensleydale with cranberries and CHUNKS OF HORSE" was also not well-received.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)
oh man when i got back last night i was at the train station ok right?and this girl, looked a bit french, slightly bohemian, tousled hair, pretty, plain clothing stepped into the bogs right next to where i was sitting ok and then
'FLUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!' women fart, who knew?
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:19, Reply)
what the actual fuck,? and why did this make me laugh?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
ok, having reread this, I've worked out that you weren't actually sat on the bog at the timealso the french are filthy fuckers.
Look at Kroney and his "space docking"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
what was really weird was just after she farted a guy went into the ladies to wash his handshe might've been foreign, i dunno how you could misunderstand the 'women' lettering or the woman shaped sign
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:27, Reply)
Maybe he was a fart pervert and wanted a good lungfull(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:28,
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perhaps it was the same thing you were doing in there(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:37,
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That is hilariously bad(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:26,
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Have you nver seen that?It's a hymn to ignorance
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:28,
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I've never heard anything by them beforeI even had to look at another video, just to check it wasn't a parody of them or something.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:30,
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Why are ICP?Not why are they anything, just why are they?
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:29,
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I saw a 10 minute documentary on their festivalit was incredible. I an't remeber what it was called though i'm afraid
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:31,
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here you go, you sarcy bastardwww.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/27/new-documentary-sheds-lig_n_984096.html
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:34,
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never heard of it, but it sounds well lush(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:24,
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No.Alt,es, it was ace, also a tower crane and jcb. Cool fun.
Alt, is smeg acceptable?
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:24, Reply)
I always try it, just in casebut I still don't like it. I cannot get on with cheese from a sheep.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:28,
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Maths confuses me. I've no idea why, I just can't work it.Simple adding, subracting, division etc, that I can do. Anything even mildly more advanced I just stare at in complete incomprehension. Long division, algebra, all of that stuff is witchcraft.
Alt: No, this makes me sad :(
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:25,
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Hi Swipey, how has your Monday been?mine was boring, but I did go to the gym, so can pat myself on the back for that
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:40,
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same heregod it's like we're twins today or something
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:57,
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After running 13 miles yesterday I can eat whatever the fuck I want today(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Some science confuses me.Big science, I mean, and the numbers that are involved in it. Like, sometimes I will read about a discovery or an achievement - and I am duly impressed and astounded... The confusion comes from knowing there are people who are so very brainy. I feel like a caveman by comparison.
Alt: Yes, and Tractors and Combine Harvesters. Oo-arr.
Alt alt: A good old Cheddar.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:31,
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They make it upThen they get other similarly "brainy" men to accredit their books with a foreword so as to deter any potential readers from going "Hang on... this is bollocks!". There's basically a cabal of a couple of dozen men who agreed a while back that a better use for their massive brains than discovering the secrets of the universe, would be pretending they had and saying each other was clever to shift units.
Quod Erat Demonstrandum is actually Latin for "fuck you, I'm rich"
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)
WiresEvery day I carefully place my iPhone charging cable and headphones into a reasonably roomy zip-up pocket in my bag, taking care not to wrap them around each other. And every morning when I get to work the two are inextricably tangled in a series of knots so complicated, they would have Lord Baden-Powell himself so puzzled, he'd stop wanking over kids, stroke his luxuriant moustache and murmur "I say..."
HOW?
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)
GremlinsDoesn't matter how many wires, how big the box, or how neatly coiled, given time it will always turn to spaghetti.
The only way to stop them is to put each wire in a separate bag and kitchen tie the neat coil together, which is just a bit anal.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)
This is perfectly logical but involves effortas does calling a team of crack Gremlin exterminators
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)
I did have a set of headphones that solved this..they came in a little case that incorporated a cable reel as well. The phones were shit but the case worked, maybe try local pound shop?
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)
My cans suck the wire up into themselves(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:51,
Reply)
Apparently, it's "Spontaneous knotting of an agitated string"www.scienceworld.ca/swog/why-do-my-earphones-tangle-so-much
There you go. SCIENCE.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:46,
Reply)
Ironically, this is exactly why I don't trust scienceThey just make stuff up and say "See? SCIENCE." The world would be a better place if the generally accepted answer to my question, and many others such as how the fuck a tiny stone magically materialises inside your shoe when you have a long way to walk and it's raining, was "Fucking magic, mate. That's just the way it is."
See also; why the sun always goes in when you put sunglasses on, supposedly hilarious monkeys being asleep whenever you swing by their cage and Craig David's popularity in the early 2000's even though no-one bought his records.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)
somehow I knew entropy would be in thatit's next to the ursine arborial defecation study.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Entropy, FoxoEntropy. Millions of combinations possible for a tangled up cable, only one possible combination for a tidy cable. Every time you move even slightly, it moves the cable and changes the pattern.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:00,
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lots of things confuse mebut thinking about them is making me ranty. i'm going to my first zumba class tonight, bet that will confuse the fuck out of me. AND i did 60 mins running and 30 mins on the cross trainer before work this morning, so i am stiff as a cunt.
alt: only that old dos game. i fucking loved a bit of that.
altalt: ALL CHEESE. except weak as shit plastic cheese and brie. brie can go fist itself.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1674656
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:41,
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i'm not a principled veggiei'm just fussy
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:56,
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me and my friend wenot to zumba oncethe guy did lots of dance steps really quickly, and the music degenerated to Jive Bunny and The Birdie Song. I suspect he wasn't really a zumba teacher
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 16:50,
Reply)
Are you going for some kind of personal best?Most Shit Songs Referenced In One Thread?
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)
what you don't have now will come back again(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:04,
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Anyone can be a fucking Zumba "teacher"All you need is a big mouth, a can of Relentless and a shit record collection. There's no skill to it whatsoever
/dance snob
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)
you are clearly a puppet or have been lurking with intent(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:03,
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So tell us a bit about yourself,male (obviously), fat (obv), virgin (obv)
anything else?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:04,
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sounds about rightare you a northern? We have quite a few here now, dragging down standards of dress, finance and meal naming conventions
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:08,
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I drove past there last week and I thought to myselfthat is an aptly named town, assuming of course it used to host a coal mine. Otherwise, it's a shitly named town.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:12, Reply)
Rotters, to a man.They revolt me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:12,
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we are *correcting*you on your meal naming conventions
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:20,
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I for one welcome our new lurking UnderlordMake us a cuppa Leo, there's a pecking order to reinforce
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Hello Darth FoxtrotAre you a dancing Star Wars fan? I'd make you a cuppa but I wouldn't wish that milky gloop on my worst enemy.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)
You're very insightful, LeoIt's a coffee I'm after dear boy, not been sleeping well. If you've got methamphetamine I'll take that.
And party.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)
You're far too nice for this forumIT'S TOO LATE FOR ME BUT GET OUT NOW etc
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:24, Reply)
you'd think he could at least pick music that wasn't from a wedding disco. Or maybe show us a thing rather than just jigging about?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:04,
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If you must try an unskilled "dance" to get fit, do SalsaAt least it's sociable, and may be of some use in certain musical establishments. Be aware that whilst this is the lesser of two evils I will still mock you mercilessly for it.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:23, Reply)
I think it's best I never danceother than while drunk and at a club.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:24,
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I've seen Strictly BallroomI imagine you are like those dudes
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:34,
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HOW DARE YOUI am nowhere near that Australian. Or, believe it or not, that camp.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:38, Reply)
it's my only reference pointand I have nothing but your word to disprove it
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:39,
Reply)
The standard of international Ballroom dancing has improved immensely since that film was madealthough said film was hardly up to the standards of the time.
This really has fuck all to do with your post, I'm sorry, I'm going home, knackered.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:42, Reply)
Perfect uprocking and gain the admiration of your peers**well, me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:34,
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Altalt: Vacherin Mont-D'oror Brie de Mellon - or Gongonzola Piccante - or Epoisses, or...etc.
Alt: I've never even driven a moped
What confuses me most of all is how you made it to adulthood without either dying from stupidity or having someone do society a favour and bump you off.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:10,
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Hello Nakin' Stevens.How are you?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:12,
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Hi NakersYou know you were talking about your headphones sucking their cables back up into themselves?
Well my body can suck a testicle back up into itself.
The end.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:16,
Reply)
I don't know that first cheese, but judging by the next two, I bet its fucking lush. I bloody well love a proper cheesory.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 18:29,
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Jesus fucking Christ, I'll be glad to see the back of today.(
Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:12,
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I've been more busy than possibly ever.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:13,
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Same here.Busy = aggravation = me short-tempered = people being inexplicably ruder to me on the phone.
I don't understand it, Monty. It's like they *know*
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:15,
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My boss has been millimetres from an actual punch in the fucking gob since about half nine.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:17,
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I've been boiling over with impotent rageall day. It's given me all shooting pains up and down my left arm and that.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:19,
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I need a holiday.I cannot have even a day off for a good fortnight.
People will suffer for this.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:21,
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Have a day off for a shit fortnight then LOLZZERS!(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:32,
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Lollington lollity lol.To the power of lol.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 17:35,
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Your gross lack of apostrophes coupled with disgusting spelling.alt: Yes I have. It was at LEGOLAND.
altalt: Brie de Meaux de Dogne.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:16, Reply)
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