Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's Friday.This weekend is going to be proper Phil Colins.
What are your weekend plans?
Alt. If you had to in to business with a b3tan, who would it be and what would you do?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 7:59,
181 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
My weekend plans are to work and to study.How do you mean, Phil Collins? cool?
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:01, Reply)
Or Against all odds it might be sunny for a change.
I'd settle for dry.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:18, Reply)
I'm hoping to fell some warm weather in the air tonight. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:24,
Reply)
The plan so far!Tomorrow I'll be going to Stratford with G/F and Emily so they can return some shoes (why do women return about half of what they buy?), then going to Gloucester to my sister's place for a BBQ celebrating my nephew's birthday. Sunday could be a bit of gardening - I say a bit but my back garden is so overgrown that there's Japanese snipers living in it that don't know he war's actually over - then twang club, then a roast dinner.
Alt: Probably the Empress 'cos she's done it before and made a success of it.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:15, Reply)
This 'twang' club needs a radical marketing makeoverit just sounds really gay, tangledupinblue will never join at this rate
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:25,
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Haven't we suffered enough?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:18,
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Mr Tangled is off on his hollybobs this weekHe's welcome to turn up at any of our ear - mangling guitar torture sessions, as are any of you!
As to the Pooflake=tedium idea - you really don't know him, do you?
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:34, Reply)
he's the only person on my ignore list.Due to his incredibly long, childish and fucking boring QOTW entries. The only reason to write entries that long is ego-massaging. And he was a vocal supporter of SpankyHanky. Reason enough to tar him with the AIDS brush.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:38, Reply)
A man who'd never use a simple phrase when 950 words will do instead.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:40,
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A man to whom 'economy of style' means only 'getting your pants from a pound shop'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:45,
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Off to Cornwall in the morning for a week. Alt: possibly some sort of beer quality assessment service with you, Stunned and Boyce.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:16,
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I used to go out with a girl whose parents own a pub in Sennen.Trufact.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:19, Reply)
This is easily the most interesting post in B3ta history.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:38,
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I'm not surpised eh!The only bit I'm struggling with is 'I used to go out with a girl' which is stretching the limits of credibility more than a little.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:43,
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You are so much more than that, don't sell yourself short (no offence shorty).You're forgetting 'tedious', 'flatulent' and 'irritating', amongst other worthy epithets.
x
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:50,
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Nice placeOnly been there once seeing as its 50 miles away but very pretty village
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Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:23,
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record shopping and whisky shopping.Business- probably pimping out Monty as a Gary Oldman lookalike.
Get it? Gary Old-man!
Please kill me.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:18, Reply)
With pleasure.You would not believe the night I had last night. Su-fucking-perb.
This will mean nothing to anyone at all but reunited on stage for the first time in about 20 years: utter legends HIJACK. Me and Yeti practically pissed our pants.
We got Ghostface Killah as a bonus as well as Raekwon.
Chuck D was as devoid of charisma and skills as ever. Five minute politics lecture and all: just shit.
Melle Mel: entertaining but a bit of a penis, Ice T: still got it, much better than expected actually.
The film's excellent too.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:32,
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HIJACK! I know!!! almost impossible to comprehend.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:34,
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Fuck yes.Turnd out our tickets would've cost £50 each as well. Cheers 'DJ Big Ted'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:44,
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It's a great film, if you're interested in the subject - otherwise it'd be v dull.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:57,
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No.He didn't do 'Hunted Child' either which was a big shame. We did get '6 in the Morning' though.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:43,
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That was Danny Glover, easy mistake to make though.#theyalllookthesame
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:46,
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HahahaFunnily enough on that precise tip there was a picture in the Metro today 'members of the Wu Tang Clan arrive at film premiere': nope, just some black blokes. You could just see a bit of Ghostface Killa's t shirt in the background. Oh dear.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:49,
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They just assumed that all black people everywhere are honorary members(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:16,
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Later on, Ainsley Harriot and his Wu niggaz will be perfoming live.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:20,
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HIJACK means notthing; but Raekwon and GFK I can more than appreciatei thought I-Tea sold out a long time ago?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:55,
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I never really liked him apart from a couple of singles - he really is a charismatic performer.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:56,
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See the missus, watch Batman, go and see Avenue QShould be fun, really.
Alt: Probably Battered, as he's got a history of dealing with things like that.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:19,
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I am going to a covers music festival this alvo. I am reserving judgement on what it will be like. Am looking forward to some short wearing weather.
I would go into the greetings card biz with Rory. "Roses are reddish, violets are bluish. If it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish."
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:48, Reply)
It won't be as good as wot I dun last night.Hijack, Stunned poster - HIJACK.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:54,
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Some infowww.heroesofukhiphop.com/Hijack.htm
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:56,
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wasn't for you, it was for everyone else, quender(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:57,
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It is lesbian hot-tub weekend!I have hangovers, pity me.
I would go into business with Rory and would hire him out to bully people.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:52,
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I actually walked away from an offer of an all-night free drugs party last night.Check me out.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:55,
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I was home by 12, Yeti was raring to go and I went home.HOME.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:58,
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No, I didn't go back to his, I keep saying.Pay attention ffs.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:03,
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I'm fucking clever like that, Chef.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:07,
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I'm so proud, it's like you've finally grown upAlso new evidence shows that the likelyhood of cocaine killing you rises massively over the age of 35.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:57,
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Not as much as the likelihood of me killing you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:58,
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I'll have to actually turn up to a Bash for that to happen(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 8:59,
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No need, I'll do a home visit seeing as it's you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:02,
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Have you seen the image challenge this week?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:13,
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Hopefully getting some fucking sleepGot a demo tomorrow night, am actually going to get paid to dance. All I need now is a monkey suit.
Alt: Horses for courses innit. My usual dealer hasn't got the contacts of old so next time I go to InFest it'll be Monty, Barry for all the gangland hits I need putting out and Dozer to help me cure this fucking insomnia.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Just keep posting, he'll soon drop off.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:05,
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Seriously, I cannot get to sleepWould you come round mine and talk about music?
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:09, Reply)
It was airborne AIDS. Bloody genius. Series two is on UK Gold this weekend.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I can't believe I'm missing these. Did you record* the book club one? Looks hilarious.
*I actually typed 'tape' initially /oldlolz
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:06,
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I've only seen the "Places of my Life" onewhich was brilliant. Need to catch up. Jackaknackanory.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)
I am recording them. Everyone round mine for some coke and Partridge. You'll certainly be "Up with the Partridge".
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Later on I'll be talking to Norfolk's youngest butcher.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:18,
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AhAAAAAaaaaaaa!Only problem with that is, you live in London. I guarantee if I go there, I'll be either mugged or not appreciated.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:20, Reply)
I knew you'd prefer the warmer sounds(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:23,
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Heston Blumenthal's pursuit of extreme gastronomy had taken a worrying turn(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:37,
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Tomorrow I'm working overtime from home (again)Sunday will be a BBQ hopefully
Alt:
You and Battered. You both appear switched on, business-wise. Something IT related (otherwise there would be no point me being "in")
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:07,
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HahahahahahaAn even faster route to bankruptcy than letting Boyce manage your pension
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:17,
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I have no weekend plans as of yet, all my mates are going for the annual two day piss up know as Helstonbury but I have too many kidsAlt. I would become a financial advisor with Monty.
Now the Shed one has been freed I need a new sig, it has to be witty yet sophisticated and demonstrate my intellect without being too conceited.
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Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:07,
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How about 'a glover not a fighter'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:23,
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I've gone of the whole glove thing since I started getting it from a human femaleI'd forgotten just how good it was.
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Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:24,
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'has faced it, I'm addicted to glove'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:23,
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I think you are getting the "demonstrate my intellect" bit spot on,but falling slightly short on the "witty yet sophisticated"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:25,
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'biggest gay on the internet'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:29,
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'executive producer of Twang Club'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:29,
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As does every right-thinking man - or woman - on earth.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:42,
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You appear to be writing your auto-biography in the style of b3ta signatures(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:30, Reply)
You are being mean on the InternetI'm calling the web sheriff
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Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:32,
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You only want to do that so you can buff his badge.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:43,
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Are your weeds allergic to girls from modern rap videos?Making Gardening Fun, with Althegeordie. We'd watch that.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)
His fucking daughter nicked his computer chair and dumped his fucking game.(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)
No it's not, they've stopped him going to helstenbury(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:45,
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Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids! (
Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:53,
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He's being well out of order about your cunt kids here Phil.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:53,
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If I were Phils fucking cunt kids I'd be fucking cross with that cunt Nakers right now.(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I didn't name them 'Enterprise' and 'Optimus Prime'(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:02,
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My weekend plan is to leave the country.Alt: Chompy's waste mining plan looks pretty good, so I'd find a way to ride on his coattails. I'm sure he could use an unmotivated person with a low skill set, like me.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:15,
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It's a bit awkward reallyI have to complete a load of seemingly impossible tasks, like making shirts without stitching and other weird stuff.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:55,
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Back up to Brum, see mates and have a meal on Saturdaymeet up for drinks with ex-coworker on Sunday afternoon.
I stayed up till very very early because it was my birthday, but it appears that this does not trump the workings of the human body so there's a good chance for keyboard-face this afternoon.
Alt: an amphetamine delivery service would be good.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:42,
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I was thereBy there I mean on here
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:47,
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*something about 'on the stair'*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:48,
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*something about clogs, and shedzzzzzzzzz*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:50,
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Lucky really, no-one would pay for you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:56,
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I have been stuck in meetings all morning and I am yet to have any baconThis is the incorrect way for Friday to start!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:54,
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I am fucking starving and now require bacony goodness(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:57,
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fuck now I want one(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:12,
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I got baconwitu extra bacon as they were finishing up *wins*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:15,
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*plots Naked Ape's death*(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:16,
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I fucking love SteamIt's a great example of how to take advantage of an online method of distributing computer games.
Because I can just buy all kinds of games at very reasonable prices I don't even bother to put my mind to the fact that I could probably steal them for nothing if I wanted to.
However, I can't bring myself to pay 7 pounds for a downloaded album when I can find it for nothing so easily or probably buy it on CD for less, or even worse 5 pounds for an e-book when the paperback is probably only about 2-3 quid.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
How much do you pay for waterproof trousers?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:58,
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I preferred House Of Love myself(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 9:58,
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I dunnoit would be double standards. I mean if I wrote Nakers you are a kid fucker I wouldn't even get stepped. I think the same rules should apply to scary moderators as to everyone else.
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Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:15,
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but there is no truth i your post about me...*is stepped*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:18,
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i'm above the law when it comes to the modsthey love me, i say what i like and they don't mind
i started taht shed thing, i was worse than rory with the kiddie fiddling allegations, i'm untouchable
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Fucking hell!www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jul/20/masked-gunman-batman-screening-denver
Some people take films far too seriously.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)
I watched God Bless AmericaIt was ace, I predict that there was a group of arseholes using their phones.
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Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:11,
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Have you seen that the thug who killed Ian Tomlinson has got offnot quite sure how
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:17,
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I'm a bit angry about thatIt's a shame that Tomlinson wasn't black because if he were, there would be a fucking massive riot going on about now.
(, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
at the moment i just want to live through the dayi think i might actually be sick through my eyeballs. but then i have to go out drinking again tonight and have a birthday party tomorrow night. sunday i will be having a liver transplant.
alt: the mind boggles. mortgage broking with rogerboresme? detective agency with roota? house clearance with barry? kebab shop with quentin?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:11,
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I have been drinking everynight since last Fridayand I'm out tonight and tomorrow, expect tears on Sunday
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:13,
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I am on a diet that still allows me to drink spiritsWoooo I've lost 4lbs and three days
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Peej, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 10:16,
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