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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Last thing you did of which you were proud?
Last thing you did of which you were ashamed?
Last bet you made?
Last bet you won?
1 and 2 cannot be answered by "your mum".
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:42, 134 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Got the car roadworthy,
Told ladypig i was going to work late, got finished early and instead of going home to help with the dogs and stuff, stayed at the pub.

I don't remember the last serious bet i made, but i bet I'll fuck your mum tonight.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:44, Reply)
hahaha, MEGA LAD!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:45, Reply)
I didn't know i was going to finish early,
but the wedding party all fucked off at 10:30.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:46, Reply)
i'd have done the same

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:47, Reply)
It was the only thing to do.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:48, Reply)
Is "help with the dogs" some sort of sexual reference?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:55, Reply)
no,
they need to be fed and walked before bed, it is a very easy job with 2, but not so easy on your own.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Each of her breast's looks like a French Bulldog

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:57, Reply)
A French Bulldog,
licking piss off a nettle.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:01, Reply)
I'd rather you didn't cast aspersions as to the character or appearance of my dear ldies breasts.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:14, Reply)
my girlfriend found a lump yesterday and she's been to the docs and we have to go to the hospital for a scan
:(
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:18, Reply)
marry her quick,
then you get half her stuff.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:20, Reply)
i'm already beneficiary on her will and life insurance
but i'd rather not have a lopsided/dead girlfriend :(
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Dump her and get a new one.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:25, Reply)
I DON'T WANNA STOP BULLYING HER SHE COULD BE TERMINALLY ILL
MOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)
I taught mini ape to high five
took a dump on your mum's chest, i really shouldn't have eaten all that Jalfrazi
That i would win £130m on the euromillions
£40 at the dogs
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:47, Reply)
It's a good night out at the dogs.
Our local track have a £5.00 deal; entry, pint, pie and a £2.00 Tote bet.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Wimbledon do something similar, pretty good value by all accounts

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:07, Reply)
i fixed up that guitar last week all by myself
the lead was loose in the socket and i pulled the whole guitar apart before reading online all i had to do was tighten the bit on the front
bullied malc over his relationship with allison :(
that one about malc winning the lottery
it's a win in progress, every week
my mum could answer those questions quite easily
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Alright Q.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:48, Reply)
alright W in D-to-the the notorious P.I.G.?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:50, Reply)
I'm Cock of the Walk

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:53, Reply)
how's that?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:54, Reply)

the cock of the walk (British old-fashioned)
a man who acts as if he is more fashionable or important than other people
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:58, Reply)
i'm sure you're as fashionable as jeff banks and twice as important

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:59, Reply)
You don't look like Dozer to me.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:00, Reply)
Needs MOAR Metal Mickey facial implants.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:20, Reply)
prick.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Not out

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:58, Reply)
it took me three minutes to realise this was a cricket thing

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:01, Reply)
not a fan eh?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:03, Reply)
the fan on my desk is giving me a neck chill

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:14, Reply)
You silly mid off you.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:03, Reply)
Still faster than the England team yesterday though.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:05, Reply)
I'm bored.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:05, Reply)
this thread is pretty dire

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:05, Reply)
this^

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Start a new one.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:08, Reply)
Hey Jeff,
what was your favourite ever thread?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:12, Reply)
twine
maybe shoelaces
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:16, Reply)
Alright Quizmaster

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:17, Reply)
can we all pretend i'm not Q? please yeah

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Soz "new bug".

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:19, Reply)
I heard Q was .....CENSORED BY MODS.....

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:21, Reply)
i existed on a different plane to the other users on /talk for a bit
it was 'lol'
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Once, right.
Someone asked me what I was going to have for lunch. We won't see days like that again.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:17, Reply)
Remember that one about the cake?
That was a good'un.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Was it 'nommy cake'?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:20, Reply)
I had cake in a shed..

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:21, Reply)
So nommy, the word contained an extraneous 'y', which is the highest accolade of nomminess going.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)
TUiB has a missing Y Chromosone which would explain the vegetarianism

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)
You're off the chain!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:21, Reply)
Well I am feeling a little flushed.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)
FFS you lot I mean really

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:16, Reply)
Boyce,
that hotel was ridiculously expensive, where else is there.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:21, Reply)
Holiday Inn on Old St?
What am I, fuckin' Trip Advisor?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Your online reputation will suffer for this.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:26, Reply)
Gadzooks!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)
You are that.
I went with the RE as I fear your after bash party will go on past my bedtime.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)
It is a distinct possibility.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Apparently I'm staying at Stunned's.
If I want an early night, it'll be the half one train back to Slough for me.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:29, Reply)
Niiiice.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:32, Reply)
The last person to stay at Stunned's was Baz
He has not been seen since, which has been treated with a similar level of disinterest as that afforded to decapitated drug dealers.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:33, Reply)
he was 5am floor raped into dust

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:37, Reply)
couch, hahahaha

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:39, Reply)
I stayed there Sat night and remain fully alive, to date.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:41, Reply)
We only have your word for that.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:41, Reply)
Well,there's nommyy cakes at the afterbash.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Oi. Trip Advisor.
Should I have a micro dot or a not?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Fuck yes. Double drop ftw.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:40, Reply)
^ This
I have only ever had a great time on microdots.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:41, Reply)

microdots the sunshine bus
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:41, Reply)
We sing songs, clap our hands, etc.
What's not to like?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:44, Reply)
The sticky windows?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Don't knock it until you've tasted them.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)
I used to go out with a girl who dealt them
She used to give me them to test drive when she got new batches.

There was one lot which didn't seem to work, so I had a second one - at which point of course the first one kicked in. I had school the next day :(
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:45, Reply)
I can't see how she could have made any profit with this arrangement.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Indeed.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)
It suggests a considerable mark-up

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Hahaha they were about £3 each RRP
Plus if she was getting say 100 at a time, giving a couple away to ensure the quality of the merchandise seems sound business to me.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:12, Reply)
At least, that's what you managed to convince her.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)
She was in love with me, the silly bint.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
That was her first mistake...

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)
www.booking.com
Good luck on getting anything under a tun a night that isn't a roach infested flea pit, though :)

Welcome to London!
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)
I can come back,
the buses run all night, but i don't really want to trek across london.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)
google for serviced apartments
Last Boyce bash I stayed in a quite nice one within walking distance for £60.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:44, Reply)
"serviced" eh?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:45, Reply)
I did not enquire as to any "extras"
The morning wake-up blowjob was quite sufficient.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Ask chompy, he knows all sorts of sordid little sex pits

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:34, Reply)
Monty i'm confused
i have agreed with the "Natural Born Chillers" that i do indeed "like to rock the funky beats", however additional instructions have not been forthcoming.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Hmmmm... troubling.
Perhaps these chaps want you to make your own decision as to what to do next, a 'choose your own adventure book' in the form of popular music, if you will?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:25, Reply)
I shall make a "logical progression"

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:33, Reply)
Bukem sex pested one of my mates

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:46, Reply)
You should totally post thiss in QOTW

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:48, Reply)
done bbz

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Jumping Jack Frost left death threats on my pal Hamish's answerphone.
Gutted we didn't record them for posterity.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:58, Reply)
Sounds like it was a gas.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
LTI, brah. L.T.I.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I'm going, I'm going.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:24, Reply)
My tits no longer fill my hands !

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:34, Reply)
There I was just now, grabbing my tits, and there was room there for some more tit, where as before, there wans't.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:34, Reply)
Your hands have grown

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:36, Reply)
Nah', when I have a good tug, that ratio is the same.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:38, Reply)
your willy has also grown

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Did you feel fuller than usual?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Good stuff.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:41, Reply)
are you nursing a semi?
there's nothing like a glimpse of hairy jew nipple to get monty hard
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:45, Reply)
wtf?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Urrugh.
You've caught Beadleitus.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:45, Reply)
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND!!!!!!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:46, Reply)
At least I don't have AIDS!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)
The farts I was doing this morning for 1 & 2
Sheffield Utd, Swindon, MK Dons, Luton & Oxford all to win @ 17/1 - Last bet made.
First Three Afternoon Favs To Win (2.10H, 2.20S, 2.30L) (Win) @ 28/1 - Last bet won.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Nice question!
Everyday, for my job, I have to make tiny little assemblies. I have to put them under extreme conditions of pressure and temperature and any mistakes I have made could result in spectacular failures. Most of the time I'm amazed that some of the shite I make actually doesn't fail, but every now and then I manage to make a tiny work of art.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Alright, benders?
The last thing I made was my 2013 calendar. Some extremely nice (and possibly mental) people have even bought copies.

I'm usually shamed by things I realise I should have done but didn't, rather than things I've actually done. Mostly because I'm a lazy selfish cow as opposed to a mean and evil one.
Which do you suppose is worse? I need to know before I DMAAKM.

Are we all happy this miserable wet Monday?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)
You don't need to DYAAKY
Simply shit in your hands and rub it on the screen in an apologetic ritual to the gods of internet.

I can't see this one taking off in the same way, but it amused me this morning.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)
I'd really rather not, if that's all the same.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)
someone bullied my terminally ill girlfriend, b3th
please ban them
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:07, Reply)
People have been picking on my terminally ill husband for years, Q.
It's a board full of mean bullies.

I hope it all works out well for her, fr srs. I found a lump about fifteen years ago. Turned out to be nothing, and I still have it today, but it's really worrying going through the tests and taht.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)
all about you, isn't it b3th?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Ah go on

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)
I did have one person I shared your link with ask if you were serious or if it was some kind of elaborate satire
:(
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:12, Reply)
I thought the most face-saving answer was to say you were Special Needs
Hope that was ok.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:14, Reply)
: (

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Wait, don't knock it.
You could pick up some good sympathy sales, if people believe they are buying the work of a retarded child or something.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Perhaps you could add a terminally ill dimension to the story as the sales start to dwindle?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)
: (
again
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Looks more like an unhappy biscuit, that.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:24, Reply)
MOD the shit out of him B3th

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:27, Reply)
I think that was rather kind of him.
He could have told his mate that it was the work of a fully functioning adult with all higher mental functions intact.

Then you'd have looked *really* bad.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Couch raped Barry.
Killed Barry ftw.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Hahhaha dead barry 5am rape

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:22, Reply)
what did the cow say when he stubbed his hoof on the dresser?
'Cow-ch!' (rape 5am barry hahahaha)
(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Oh my.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)
There is a new thread to mop up the deritus still floating about in the primordial soup that is OT

(, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)

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