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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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does anyone else get the feeling that monty feels threatened by CQ's charm, looks and success?
I do.

alt pricks
altalt wankers
altaltalt prankers
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:34, 162 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Altaltalt: winkers

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:34, Reply)
prinkers

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Wacks

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Monty is threatened by the charm, looks and succes of a club footed pigeon

i done the prankers thing before, soz
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:35, Reply)
prunt

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Alright Q?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Alright Battered?
Cheers.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Alright Legless.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:42, Reply)
+ C

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Vagabond has me on 2.0, has he done the same to you?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I wondered where that cunt was.
I suspect you're right but cannot be anused to check.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:47, Reply)
alright B-att-the-da-ered?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Very good thanks. Very good indeed.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Fuck this right in the fucking ear
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9564335/Diver-survives-40-minutes-in-North-Sea-after-air-supply-line-is-cut.html
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:36, Reply)
That's a pretty scary thought

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:40, Reply)
why didn't he just surface?
surely the bends is preferable to death?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I'd rather die than listen to any of their albums.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:42, Reply)
that can be arranged

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:43, Reply)
If it was arranged by you, the worst I could expect would be to lose my hearing.
Or perhaps a visit from Darth?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:47, Reply)
I do not understand this at all

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)
This does not surprise me at all.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)
You get more than "the bends" if you come up from 262ft
That deep you're not on air, you're in saturation (hence the diving bell) breathing other gases, if you come up you'd die in unbelievable pain and agony.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Personally I think it's only right that 'benders' die in unbelievable pain and agony.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)
You know the bends often causes death?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I guess it would be a truely horrible way to die

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Every blood vessel in your body trying to explode at once....
Yup, that'd smart a bit.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
ah, so you've met tricky?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
No, all the blood vessels, not just the ones around your anus.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
i hate radiohead as much as the next man
but that's a bit extreme
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
AIDSlol

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
Actually wasn't someone on here the other day saying how AIDS is really a right old laugh these days?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
1 person was cured of it using stem cells
the person was right, but the person was an idiot
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
anotherwanker said "AIDS whatevs, I can live with that"
and I said there had been someone "cured" with stem cells
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
which is all true
but you're still both idiots
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
No, one person is currently not showing any cell counts for the virus
but is suffering from a really unpleasant array of side effects. You can't say for sure if he's actually "cured"
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
oh well fuck a duck mate, i was only paraphrasing

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Wow
way beyond impressive ability to trust your training and colleagues instead of panicking, right there.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Altalt. Winkles.
Stop bullying Monty, he can't help being a bit special.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:37, Reply)
cuck

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)
I think it is his maverick cycling techniques and ability to maintain a vibe of positivity at all times that makes Monty uncomfortable.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:38, Reply)
hey man, you bullied my terminally ill girlfriend yesterday, how come you're not banned?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)
One rule for one, one rule for the rest.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:42, Reply)
he wove rob some hemp trousers to say sorry

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:42, Reply)
You complained to the wrong mod.
b3th has already gone on record to say that she doesn't like you.
Although it has yet to be confirmed that she wished death on your girlfriend.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I heard that she not only wished death on his flid girlfriend, but she designed a picture of a female flid dying in agony and sold it through her website

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)
that's not true
me and b3th exchanged some really flirty gazzes the other day, she's clearly in love with me

poor old man b3th :(
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:47, Reply)
You think that is why she is trying to kill your girlfriend?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
could be
she probably took cancer cells from old man b3th's prostate and smeared them on girlQ's tit
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
I heard she made a series of those pictures and is selling them as a calendar on her website.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
it only goes up to december 25th though
because that's when she hopes she will die
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:20, Reply)
morning Q

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:40, Reply)
good morning mmps
gomorps
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)
how's it?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:44, Reply)
all good mmps
obviously very reassuring to the mrs right now, she's not too worried but still it's a bit scary
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)
I'm sorry Q, read that a few times and have no idea what you're on about.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
my girlfriend has found a breast lump
and we're off to hospital sometime in the next couple of weeks for a scan :/
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
shitting fuck!
good luck at the vets, make sure and keep us updated.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
if there's nothing i won't post on here, it's that i won't post about malignant boob tumours

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
you're an inspiration to us all.
I think janet had one of them, not sure though I don't tend to pay that much attention.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)
i'd rather not think about janet's tits :(

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Q's girl might have tit rot

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
It's funny because I don't believe Q even has a girlfriend, let alone that she might have breast cancer

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
that's actually really out of order
i have a girlfriend, she genuinely did find a lump and we are going for a scan.

all the people i mention on here are real :(
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I'm going to do a little cancer dance in my office to try and influence the results in a positive manner.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
i can't think of a dancer who died of cancer
so just imagine i said "hohoho, it'll be just like when (famous dancer who died of cancer) died of cancer!"
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)
cancer rhymes with dancer!

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Serious.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Marti Caine?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)
not a lot of peopole know that

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Flick Colby had breast cancer, but it was Bronchopneumonia that killed her.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
I thought they were herbivores

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
EXCUSE ME, ^ this deserves way more attention than the none it is currently getting

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:25, Reply)
I refused to acknowledge it
On account of the correct name for them being Apatosaurus.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:26, Reply)
ahahaha

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:27, Reply)
what a fucking prick Q.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)
i can't believe somebody would bully my terminally ill girlfriend
and STILL the mods do nothing
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Have you checked it isnt a nipple?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)
another one!?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
i had a look last night, i couldn't see or feel anything

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Do you want us to have a look, Q?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
yeah sure, she's down marlebone high street now

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I'm sure she's always up marleBONE high street!

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)
this is a penis joke

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I thought you lived in Reading?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
eh?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I said, "i thought you lived in reading?"

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:25, Reply)
that might have been one of the many lies i peddled on here before i vowed to be honest

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:26, Reply)
i don't even own a helicopter

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I think I made that one up actually

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:32, Reply)
that makes sense
i doubt anyone would want to live in that shithole
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Best you learn your fucking place...you don’t run this fucking government...You’re fucking plebs.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)
yeah, topiclol

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Chicks dig system smashers like Wilf, taking the whole fucking shithouse down one brick at a time
most red blooded males are in awe of his alphamale status, that's how he manages to smash all the b3tabirds
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
all in all he's just another prick in the wall.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
gloryholelolz

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
spot on
also the fact I am rolling in money and hip deep in clunge.

I tell you guys, it's a hard life being me. :)
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)
You've got it all.
I only want a little bit!!!!
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
*tosses a few coppers in Monty's general direction*
don't spend it all at once.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:06, Reply)
That won't help - he thinks they are plebs too.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
you're not a fucking communist at all!
LIAR!!!
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:06, Reply)
I am totally.
I'm just a very high ranking one, so I get certain privileges...
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
you're not true to the revoloution. prick.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
I am the fuckin' revolution man.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Stop fooling children

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
when is search coming back?
i miss search
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)
it's dead swipey.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
fucking hell and they call that service
what did i once pay a tenner for, about ten years ago, eh?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
to be called a fat beakering cow who gets shat on for sexy times.
well worth it eh?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
what do you think i'd get if i hadn't paid?
it could be so much worse
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
you'd be nakers.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:21, Reply)
i could never aspire to that

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Some things will always be out of reach for someone of your "heritage"

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Do you want to search for your name to see if we were talking about you when you weren't here?
Where did you go anyway?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
no, i sniffed some DRAMA and i wanted to resolve it
cornwall for a week. it was fab.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Did you eat pasties and ice cream?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
ice cream yes, pasties no
there were too many amazing restaurants for that. you could easily come back a stone heavier if you lived there for a month :(
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
How much heavier did you get?
And does this mean your diet has been kicked into touch?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:20, Reply)
i had a week off; will do it for one more month, then that will be it
we ate stupid amounts of food really, but it was just too fucking nice. of the stone i had lost before i went, i put back 1.5lbs. so not bothered about that.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Alright chunky?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
just for that i am going to sit on your knee on saturday

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
*buys reinforced knee pads & thigh supports*

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
you're such a terrible bully

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
You're such a lardy.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:24, Reply)
i would make you eat your words on sat
but you know, they might have chocolate on them
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:27, Reply)
I can see it.
Maybe it has you on 2.0
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Yeah, but it doesn't actually work

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
ahh, good point
Cheers Alphonse
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:26, Reply)
search was my favourite forum user
rest of you is all pricks
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I liked that Calendar guy - he was excellent.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
i met him at a bash once
he robbed my drugs and headbutted my girlfried
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
your new name will be kind of ironic
if your gf does need a mastectomy
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
holy shit!

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
fuck off, you never came up with that.
alright, is chompy fucking swipey again?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
not enough homebrew in the world

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:26, Reply)
NO BULLYING PSYCHOCHOMP
YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO COMPLY
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Quint 209

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
never mind, there's plently more shit in the sea.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
bed?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
of course. thought you'd never ask!

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:30, Reply)
that's kind of been done
i am looking for a new bodily fluid.

feel free to post sample suggestions c/o battered.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:29, Reply)
jizz battered deep-fried mars bars do you, chunky?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:30, Reply)
i want this to make sense
but it doesn't quite. try again?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
how the tables have turned :'(

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)
vomit.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:30, Reply)
only if you've eaten something really rank first

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I'm scottish swipey.
redundant statement detected, please step away from the keyboard.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Pee Oh Tee Dee

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Monty is threatened by anyone with a fully functioning bank account.
Alt: tossnugget.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Would someone be a perfect dear and start a new thread please?
Thanks awfully
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)
i'm not finished with this one, bossy-boots

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)
It's all about him eh? As usual.
The selfish cunt.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
yesterday the met arrested almost a thousand drug related criminals
how on earth did they miss monty?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)
They owe him a favour.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)
that's it, conspiracy
he's got family on the force hasn't he? bigger cover-up going on than hillsborough
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)
But everyone else has.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I think we've said all we have to say in this one.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)
well i think given that my girlfriend is dying some of you might afford me a little respect today

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)
We've had more than a minutes silence in this thread already.
Surely that is respect enough?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)
i think we all need to chop off our left breasts in solidarity

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Done!
NOW can we have new thread?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:54, Reply)
no

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Yes Monty, why yes you can!

(, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

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