Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You can be anywhere in the world immediately.CHOOSE NOW YOU ONLY HAVE TEN SECONDS.
Now explain your choice.
Alt: what's for lunch?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:14,
232 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I... I can't work under this pressureHow long have I got left to decide?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:16,
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Too late. You're stuck here now.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:17,
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I approve of your multiple input styleof signature creation.
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:22,
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Democracy may not be a perfect system, but it sometimes yields interesting results.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:23,
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You're like Burroughs and his cut-up technique, you smackhead prick.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:29,
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I have to take my hat off to you for this reply.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:17,
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I hear that everybody's grooving, everybody's movingin the Gregg's hat.
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:21,
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Chocolate eggs and bank holidays all year round.Imagine that!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:27,
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I had no idea those statues hasd bodies as well as heads until v recently.WELL mental.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:27,
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yeah I read about that.the people that built them, fucking idiots.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:33,
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It's called 'the john' these days TH.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:19,
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QUINTEN ELIZABETH OFTIWEAKYou wash your mouth out
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:20,
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It's fast becoming a craze.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:22,
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If they said 'My name's Quinten and I'm a foul mouthed boy'would you copy that? Well? Would you?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:22,
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oh the strikethrough gold...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:34,
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+recently single young man, who STILL wouldn't touch rachelswipe with a bargepole?
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:36, Reply)
"young"? hahaha"man"? hahahahaha
"bargepole"? haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, tiny little worm, more like.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:41,
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never mindyou can get viagra without a prescription now, apparently. that should fix all 3 problems.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:44,
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"I'm a oh the strikethrough gold..."?I don't get it.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:37,
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you know it makes you go blind, don't you??(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:41,
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And if the guy on the popular page told you to jump off a cliff would you do that?I know someone who died rocking back on their chair in class, you know.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:25,
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YOU'LL GET LEAD POISONING(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:26,
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as far as i'm concerned if it's got wires in it and a connection at both ends it's a lead(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)
that's why you were a terrible detective(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:16,
Reply)
Heteronym lols, sporto(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:35,
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I hate you for that and so many other reasons.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:31,
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No you don't, only the one. Standing you up.I'll buy you something pretty to make up for it, sweetheart.
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:32,
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poor, delusional kronelynow he's making up relationships with people online :(
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)
His poor parents must be so worried :o((
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:35,
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we all hated you anywayat least now you fit in
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:34,
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he's gone alarmingly quieti do hope our bullying hasn't made him top himself?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:40,
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I'm not a religious man, on the whole, but I am praying as if my life depended upon it that this has happened.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:44,
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Oh yes, of courseIs the 'head' also a suitable alternative?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:19,
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I had to "queue" for "a bit" to be "ginger" for a "fortnight"Am I doing this right?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:52,
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Pretty sure you can get them in the UK.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:25,
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They even have them in the vending machine of that ashram in Shoreditch he goes to.
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:27,
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I'm going to get some beer tonight, i've not had a drop since last Saturday(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:29,
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What have you been drinking then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:33,
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if i only have ten seconds there, what's the fucking point?i don't think you thought this through. it doesn't matter if it's the caribbean or chav-parc, if you only get ten seconds.
no lunch today. one of the secretaries has brought in more cakes and chocolates than you could shake a greedy sweaty stick at. and i am out tonight.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:34,
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he meant you only have ten seconds to choosewhy is everyone so thick today?
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)
i was deliberately misinterpreting the questionfirstly, for the LOLZ. but secondly, that's what i spend my working life doing anyway. "i know it LOOKS like it says X, but when you apply the LAW, it actually says YZWSF".
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:36,
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Worse than Nakers and something something something something Psychochomp?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:39,
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that means you owe me £1Mbut as the court won't apply a liquidated damages clause in all likelihood, i'll settle now for £500k. fork it over.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:39,
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just remember that even pc's gf turned you down despite your gazzy bestthat means you're WORSE than him.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:42,
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this right here is totally out of ordershe'd have jumped at the chance if i'd been holding a tenner
:(
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:49, Reply)
i think you're supposed to stick it in their underwearnot your own
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:50,
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get a better coinpurse?ok, grossed myself out now.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:56,
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I hear Bognor is awfully nice this time of year(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:35,
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Can you please change your sig to "calling Danny Boy"? Just for me, like.
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:37, Reply)
You just need to get onboard the OOMPAH train baby(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:46,
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I'd be somewhere where I could spend an hour unbroken on B3taas I enjoyed my brief return while my boss was out of the office this morning.
Actually, fuck that, yers all cunts. I'd be in New York. And I don't have to explain anything to you, Boyce, you're not the boss of me.
Alt: I'm going to go to The Florence Nightingale Museum at lunch. For reals. because I am just THAT exciting.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:37,
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Alt: inventor of the pie chart. AS SEEN ON QI(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:38,
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Yes.www.kdnuggets.com/news/2008/n07/22i.html
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:40,
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The earliest known pie chart is generally credited to William Playfair's Statistical Breviary of 1801, in which two such graphs are used.[2][3] This invention was not widely used at first;[2] the French engineer Charles Joseph Minard was one of the first to use it in 1858, in particular in maps where he needs to add information in a third dimension.[22] It has been said that Florence Nightingale invented it, though in fact she just popularised it and she was later assumed to have created it due to the obscurity of Playfair's creation.[23]
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:41, Reply)
I SHALL NEVER TRUST ALAN DAVIES AGAIN(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:42,
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HE SEEMED SO PLAUSIBLE ON THE TELEVISION PROGRAMME(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:45,
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IT'S LIKE THOSE CARAVANNING HOLIDAYS WITH 'SIRJIMMEH' ALL OVER AGAIN.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:46,
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You mean 'see what it says on Wikipedia'?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:45,
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it was just another way for her to have a dig at that poor, starving black chick(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Fuck Florence NightingaleAll the kids are into Mary Seacole these days, bro.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:42,
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I've emptied a Tesco brand tea bag into a teapot and mixed in a teaspoon of dried MintWhat will happen? Find out, after this.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:43,
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Turns out the tea is a bit too strong, the mint isn't very presentI've got some green tea somewhere, I'll try it with that later.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:50,
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No. Very ill. I fear it may be terminal. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:00,
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I'd like to think you're praying for my recovery, however I expect you're praying for my death.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:01,
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Kathmandu.Been before. Loved the place. Want to go back.
Alt: a fry-up.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:44,
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I would go to a BBQ pit in Texas because I am SHO' NUFFF HONGREH.I want a beef rib.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:55,
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There's a decent texas grill place in SouthseaI took my Mum there once, she had the rib rack. She said to them "It's a lot of food, can you leave the chips off the plate please?"
They very kindly swapped her chips...FOR ANOTHER RIB RACK. It was unbelievable.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 11:59,
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Quite the oppositeShe was not impressed. I, on the other hand, was. I whipped the extra one away from her. This was on top of the 'sampler' I had...three different cuts of steak. Man, I had a big old meat sweat on that night, I can tell you.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:12,
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Fucking hell that almost sounds worth braving Southsea for.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:02,
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I couldn't believe itThe only thing I didn't like was that the staff were stood chatting RIGHT next to our table. Felt a little uncomfortable. Good value for money though.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:13,
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Right that's it, I'm off to Sainers.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:03,
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He's splashing out as it's Friday. An 8p stale roll to accompany that. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:07,
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They'll throw him out if he tries that sort of sexual deviancy at the checkout.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:22,
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It's a bit early for them to have started putting the yellow stickers on things, isn't it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:05,
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Seattleit's a very nice city and I know people there.
Alt: BURRITO!
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:05,
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I'm not sure what wine to have with my burritoI'm thinking Thunderbird Red.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:21,
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Nice one Willow!THIS IS A TWO-TIER JOKE REFERENCING BOTH BRITTAS HERE'S DIMINUTIVE STATURE AND THE FAMOUS CERAMIC WILLOW PATTERN!!!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:24,
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I get a feeling of power and sexual gratification from it.It's quite the heady combination, I can tell you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:36,
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one day Monty, one day you'll pick on the wrong personTHEN YOU'LL LEARN YOUR LESSON!
in other news, I bought Fear of a Black Planet and Concept Design Deflon last night.
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:38, Reply)
I bought a Strength 6 cheese from Waitrose because it was Strength 6, but its really mild, I'd say a 2 at most, its about as strong as mascaponi.I only bought it because it was a strength 6, I like strong cheeses. I'm quite upset, I feel they've misrepresented themselves.
I'm going to Cockfosters today to go to the doctors so I'm going to the fishmongers to buy some of those amazing prawns I bought last week. I'm going to make my thai soup again because that was so nice.
Lemar has a new album out, I'm gonna get my hands on that.
OH DEAR GOD WHEN DID I BECOME THE DULLEST PERSON ON THE PLANET?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:22,
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I too, adore the sexually-ambiguous pop stylings of Leighton Buzzard's premier cockatoo-haired ex Kajagoogoo vocalist.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:25,
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Thought you'd have been too shy shy to mention that.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:27,
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Try Black Bomber if you are talking strong cheddar(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:25,
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I don't really like eating cheddar as anything other than an ingredient.This one I thought would be like an even stronger epposis.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:30,
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I bought some 'Seriously Strong Cheddar' once. It really wasn't.I ate some 'fire sausages' the other day, described as 'possibly the hottest sausages in the world'. They were at most 3/10 for heat.
Fackin lying mangruls.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:27,
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From your sausage assortment?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:29,
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Yup. They're delicious - just not even remotely hot.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:30,
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I like the spreadable seriously strong cheddar,This one I bought is "Badoz vacherin du haut-doubs A.I.P".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:32,
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Back in bedwith drugs.
I broke myself last night.
Alt: I've got some nice onion and herb ciabatta rolls, which I intend to ruin by filling them with wafer thin roast chicken slices and salad cream.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:28,
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He went at her like an out-control jackhammerBoth pelvises shattered into dust
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:29,
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I slipped getting my enormous girth out of the bath.Went down like a sack of shit, right on my ribs. It hurts like a fucker.
Feel free to mock. I certainly deserve it : (
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:29,
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Psst, she's already got one, and her name's b3th you flid.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:31,
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get a rubbery one if you are that unstaeady on your feetor get a walk in bath
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:32,
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I'm not sure it's as bad as something I've done.Was getting up out of the *very* hot bath, I was very overheated and had been soaking for a while, and as I got up, I fainted, cracked my head on the floor and cracked my hip on the corner of the bath and came too with a lump on my head and a great big purple bruise blossoming on my hip.
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:32, Reply)
That sounds good.I've got the angriest-looking purple bruise on my ribs this morning, and my range of movement is severely restricted.
My worst bath-time disaster occurred when I was at school. I was the last one in the bath one evening, and the other girls had left the floor swimming. I slipped on the wet floor, my foot shot under the bathroom door (it was an old building with a gap under the door) and my big toenail didn't follow my toe under. Tore it right off.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:36,
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Good job you didn't have to go to work eh?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:38,
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I've never taken a bath at school, let alone waiting in a queue for one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:52,
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If that were the case, then Mr Beth would have been the one to break her. Read the fucking reply.
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:30, Reply)
She flicked too hardand her bean pinged right off and rolled under the fridge
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
Oh that's nice.I go away because I am very busy and important and had a lot of work to do and come back to find that some of my so-called "friends" have been wishing me dead.
FML, man. F.M.L.
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:28,
Reply)
Oh greatYou're alive
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:32,
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Ah fuck it.*tears up betting slip and dejectedly trudges out of bookies*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:33,
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Holland. I love it. It has amazing universities. I could work with the WHO from the Hague. I have loads of family there. It snows. I can visit everywhere in europe from there.
(, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:29, Reply)
she'll spend all her time down the arcadesb ut at least she'll leave as a pinball wizard
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:31,
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5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1756796
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:35,
Reply)
Things they do look awful cold, there, though.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:32,
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I feel I must point out that most of these replies are gags based on the lyrics of The Who.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:34,
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oh god, this made me lol heartily and I'm not sure why(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:35,
Reply)
She didn't get it because she's half our age.Oh wait, that's not funny at all :(
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Kroney, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:36,
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Age is irrelavant, I doubt anyone here is old enough to remember them first time around(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:37,
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Try telling that to the IT department of Townshend's local nick.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:38,
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I bet sales of saveloys have plummeted in the Scarborough area since all that's come out.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:41,
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Not personallybut some of our spouses do. Well, one of our spouses does. Well, my spouse does.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:44,
Reply)
Me neither, but hey - when you get to my age, you take your lolz where you can.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Oct 2012, 12:37,
Reply)
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