Wilf's Fuck You Monday Thread
Good morning /ot, today my hair is ORANGE, this is helping fend off the evil that is Monday. The Nice people form TalkTalk Have also removed the download limit on my super-budget broadband, so I am using it to do what any good boy would and downloading every movie I can think of.

What's cheering you up this Monday, apart form my mum?

Alt: What movies should/shouldn't I download and watch tonight? Why do you cunt have to turn a perfectly good threat into yet another 'list shit you like' thread? and if you'r gonna do that at least stick to fucking films.

AltAlt: silly things you've done to try and avoid being nearly forty and thus grown up?

AltAltAlt: I forgot how old I was and thought I was only 34. I was right sad when I remembered how old I actually am, you ever get that? eh? eh? /Peter fucking Kay.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:00, 43 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

oh you stomping sucker

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)

you love me really.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)

i have deleted mine
and it had a puppy molesting a kitten and everything
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I really am as cute as that puppy in real life as well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)

cute intelligent
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)

I know, t;was a good vid.
I emailed it to my mum and girlfriend (separate people)
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:30, Reply)

I've never seen a forty year old with orange hair

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)

I doubt it'll last for 2.5 years.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)

You've not seen a Country Life advert in the last 5 years then.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)

He is WELL over 40
and a sell out
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Which are the best sites to download from?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:02, Reply)

I find isohunt pretty comprehensive.
www.isohunt.com
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)

soh mac
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:04, Reply)

Very well done

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I thought everyone must have me on 2.0 for a minute there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I thought I had.
Bloody thing isn't working properly.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)

textbook, ming mong

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Every time he licks a window a planet is destroyed

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)

"Attack, my Hawkmen!"
"That's a pigeon."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)

hahaha!
FLASH!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!

"Take that bloody Kidizoom camera off him before he blinds someone!!"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Pirate bay

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)

I still use Pirate Bay
https://tpb.pirateparty.org.uk/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)

torrentz.eu is a torrent search engine

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)

eztv.it has all the TV stuff on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:06, Reply)

All noted. Ta.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:09, Reply)

I have a new coat, that's about it.
Alt: The Crazies, watched that yesterday, quite enjoyed it.

AltAlt: I'm not that old.

AltAltAlt: Not yet.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)

The end is a bit shit though.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)

A bit like when I fucked your mum this morning.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)

couldn't finish eh? never mind it often happens to men of your age and history

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Her smell put me off my stroke.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)

At least mine is alive.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:20, Reply)

It is like fucking a corpse though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Yeah, they can't all be like the "women" on Geordie Shore.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:23, Reply)

You only have to move their balls to one side....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:26, Reply)

I imagine that's what you all live like.
Your kids will be like that!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:29, Reply)

So is mine apparently.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Not after I finished with her this morning.
I am wearing her leg skin and cellulite as thermal underwear.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:24, Reply)

A Bodywarmer, if you will

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Aye, was a real let down

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Football result at the weekend has brightened my day
Also saw a flat at the weekend I really liked, am talking to a mortgage broker at lunch. Although property prices in London really bring me out in a cold sweat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Currently nothing is cheering me up this morning.
I don't think that changing the colour of my hair would help either.

Alt: Go out instead.

Altalt: I'm 'mid-thirties', not nearly forty.

Altaltalt: No.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:13, Reply)

are you 35 or over, if so then you are nearly forty
that is MATHS FACT
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Depends on your definition of 'nearly', doesn't it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:14, Reply)

it's MATHS FACT
35 would be rounded up to forty
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)

So 4 x 35 = 160?
I dispute your so-called "MATHS FACT"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:19, Reply)

By that argument, you're "only 30" if you're 34.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:21, Reply)

D'you think this nonce is rounding 15 up to 20 or summat?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:22, Reply)

I believe that is the defence he is preparing, m'lud.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:23, Reply)

I don't think we need to hear any more then.
Send him down to the lifer's wing and give all the guards the afternoon off.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Let Bubba and Dutch Schteve show him the showers.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:32, Reply)

At the moment, I've been enjoying
- Elementary
- Arrow
- Last Resort* (to be cancelled =(((((( )
- Big Bang THeory
- How I meet your mother
- Go On
- The Mob Doctor*
- The Office USA
- Continuum*
- Person of Interest*
- Perception

* the jury is out on these ones, not sure about them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)

I really like Last resort, why's it being cancelled the cunts

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:16, Reply)

It happens to me every year, they spend a fortune on a show and I get really into it, then they cancel it.
Last year they canned Alcatraz and Tera Nova, both were really good, and the seasons ended amazingly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I might give continuum a go though.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Don't waste your time.
They spent loads of money on it and the plots are absolute rubbish.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:22, Reply)

a bit like his mum
or something.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:24, Reply)

In fairness, you are one of a vanishingly small number of people
that thought either Alcatraz or Terra Nova was any good.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:23, Reply)

Terra Nova had a lot of pretty people in.
That's about it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:24, Reply)

I think the theory was "wait, woah, if we put DINOSAURS and SPACE TRAVEL in the same thing it'll be wicked"
The well known production process of flinging faeces at a wall until something sticks.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:26, Reply)

On the face of it it should work.
EXPLOSIONS! GUNS! HOT GIRLS! THAT COLONEL GUY OFF AVATAR! MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS!
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)

usually, right, plot helps.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:28, Reply)

I'm going to shock you here
but plot doesn't often go over well with American audiences.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:29, Reply)

That's utter bollocks.
Breaking Bad
The Wire
The Sopranos
Fringe
The West Wing
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:30, Reply)

"often"
educated city-dwelling liberals can only watch so much telly, you know. Most of their programming is for the other lot.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:32, Reply)

We have such a warped,snobbish view of America in this country.
You could apply what you have said to any country. It's not an American trait.

From a nation that's prime time TV is either reality bollocks or interminable soaps, we're not in a position to judge most other countries on their televisual output.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Of course I could.
But I'm saying it about America, which is who we're talking about. The majority of whom are rural, of low education, who like shotgunning homosexuals for sport and then having sex with and eating their corpses. Hopefully in that order.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Who doesn't enjoy those things in moderation though?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Oh sure, I totally get that.
What I mean is, having that sort of majority audience doesn't translate into a whole lot of quality programming.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Wait, what?
i was joking about enjoying molesting and dining on dead gays, so I'm not quite sure how to respond anymore...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:43, Reply)

You can't argue against facts, son.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Well, that depends.
If they are a Nakers 'fact', you probably can.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:48, Reply)

Nakers doesn't know the meaning of "fact"
Nakers doesn't know the meaning of anything much.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:49, Reply)

We agree
It must be the end times.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:44, Reply)

47.8% of them voted for Romney
The prosecution rests.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:39, Reply)

That said, Gonz's list doesn't help my side of this conversation.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:36, Reply)

In fairness
I've only ever seen trailers for any of this shit, so I'm just internet arguing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:30, Reply)

The plot was great, seeing as you're never going to see it, SPOLER ALERT
SPOLER ALERTSPOLER ALERTSPOLER ALERTSPOLER ALERTSPOLER ALERTSPOLER ALERTSPOLER ALERT

Earth is fucked, people live in bubble-cities, its the polution. So they have a lottery that'll send people back in time by X amount (same each time), the portal only opens twice a year or whatever. Turns out the lotto is partly-controlled by bad-guys, who rig the system to send in bad groups who want to mine the minerial-rich earth for its natural resources. The season ends with an attack by the bad-guys where they take over tera-nova, there is a no-go zone because of can't remember reason, but the good-guys (running from tera-nova) go there and find a medi-evil boat. Sesaon ends.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:43, Reply)

I quite like the first 2 episodes
but I have to say, based on the above, I'm not gonna watch any more.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:53, Reply)

Nah' man, there was a lot more to it than that, and it was time travel, not space travel.
It had a fantastic dynamic, lots of no-thinking action, light comedy, time travel, conspiracies, and the season ended with the enemy winning.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:39, Reply)

I quite liked Alcatraz
but I don't know what he's thinking with Terra Nova. That show was a turd.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:24, Reply)

It was a bit "light" for me
Could have been really good
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Terra Nova
was absolute shite.

Almost as bad as the same concept show that was made by the BBC a year earlier that was also canned.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Alcatraz was completel panned from what i heard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:23, Reply)

The Finder for me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:34, Reply)

How I Met Your Mother makes comedy cry.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:16, Reply)

Person of interest is good if you can get over the fact the main guy just whispers all the time which is offputting.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I'm quite enjoying Grimm
Not brain-taxing but quite entertaining.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Juliette's eyes point in different directions.
Well, they don't, but they look as though they should do. Which makes the fact that they don't even more off-putting.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:25, Reply)

Not been watching The Mob Doctor, is it any good?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:20, Reply)

I feel the same way about TV threads as Chompy does about music threads.
Just saying.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Practice your Peruvian tribal pan-pipe folk songs for a bit.
It'll be all done with in an hour.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Do you not watch any TV?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:30, Reply)

Not really, no.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:31, Reply)

me either...
although i am watching homeland at the moment as i tend to be in on a Sunday night
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:32, Reply)

I have the damn thing on all the time.
And the Skyplus means there is always something recorded to watch. Like 6 hours of Big Bang Theory.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:36, Reply)

My "freeview box" won't do series record any more
often the signal I get on my internal aerial isn't strong enough for the box to record anyway
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Oh come on, old chap
I've managed to join in and the only thing I ever watch on telly is sport. I've found that if you choose a random thing that Gonz likes and say it's shit, the debate flourishes.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:30, Reply)

textbook

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:31, Reply)

I feel such a fool, trying to base my opinions on my experiences.
I can confidently state, not having seen a single one of these programmes, that *checks list* "How I meet your mother" is the best thing ever and that "Person of Interest*" is utter shit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:34, Reply)

I recon it's cus I ain't afraid of liking whatever I like, such as Jeremy Kyle and that Power Of Love song.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:59, Reply)

This is not a TV thread
I asked a bout filums, these cunts started talking about TV

I may have to delete.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Rocky is a good bout film.
or The Champ.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:37, Reply)

You need to be more positive.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Cheer up, it's International Men's Day
m.guardian.co.uk/ms/p/gnm/op/sxEW91tCKnRB_ev4Q2pP53Q/view.m?id=15&gid=commentisfree/2012/nov/19/international-mens-day&cat=commentisfree
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I am only a county level man :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:45, Reply)

I'm enjoying the fact that this is basically a Positivity Thread
but because I didn't call it one people are just getting on with it and not winging. Just add a few swear words and you can get anything past these sheep.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Aside from the murder, cannibalism and corpse-raping up there^
Although that's only me. I may have a problem.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:48, Reply)

I never said people were being positive.
just that they are not fucking winging like they did here: www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1746365
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Sequels are always disappointing.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:57, Reply)

Wait, was I arguing about the qualities of American TV with someone referencing Boston Legal in their sig?
Come here and hug me, bruvver from anuvver muvver.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:59, Reply)

I need to take that conversation onto the Fox forums.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 12:01, Reply)

what about that merlin thing with sam neil
that was a telly movie, is that ok to talk about?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:43, Reply)

No.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:46, Reply)

but it's got sam neil :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:58, Reply)

and it's shit.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 12:09, Reply)

way to ruin a classic christmas tale

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Just been laughing a bit too much at a few of these, figured I'd share with you
www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/13duh5/reddit_whats_the_most_offensive_oneliner_you_can/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:47, Reply)

I read that as 'eyeliner'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:50, Reply)

You would.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:51, Reply)

I think this one wins
"Why is it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit at the back of the oven."
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:59, Reply)

hahahahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 12:06, Reply)

*raises handbag*
Alt. Fucking hell.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:02, Reply)