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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 Thread number two, for me and you.
	Thread number two, for me and you.So, if the tabloids are to be believed, those LOLarious Aussie prank call japesters face a possible 5 years in the nick for broadcasting their call.
I believe that were this to happen (which of course it won't) this would be fucking preposterous, when you think that you can main a stranger in a terrifying drunken attack and get less. Do you agree?
Alt: Amorous Badger is on tenterhooks, desperate to know your luncheon plans. Put the poor lad out of his misery, woncha?
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:24, 176 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
 We should deport them to the colonies
	We should deport them to the coloniesalt: I have a sandwich, but i think that there might eb some pizza downstairs later
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:26, Reply)
 I need to pop to Sainers and surf the deals.
	I need to pop to Sainers and surf the deals.I fear tinned soup will be a central feature of my dining plans.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:33, Reply)
 Alright Monters?
	Alright Monters?I bought a pork pie earlier, I might have that. Or a sandwich of some description. It's a tough choice.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)
 Hello there Davlington-Smythe,old boy.
	Hello there Davlington-Smythe,old boy.A top-end pork pie is a thing of beauty and a joy to behold.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:30, Reply)
 I have to be careful with them as the pastry often gives me rotten heartburn.
	I have to be careful with them as the pastry often gives me rotten heartburn.But yeah, I agree.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)
 Corned beef.
	Corned beef.Corned beef as in geordie rhyming slang for deef (i.e. deaf) hence the word 'eh?' being written on it in pastry strips.
I didn't get it either until it was explained to me
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)
 I love how the press get so righteously indignant over a harmless phone call
	I love how the press get so righteously indignant over a harmless phone callwhen the only reason it reached the point where someone topped themselves over is was the constant spewed press bullshit about the whole thing.
Mind you, I think the reason they might be in trouble is that they have "form" for this kind of thing, including getting a 14 year old girl on air and quizzing her about her sex life for a laugh. Including when she was raped aged 12. Apparently.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)
 Yeah I read about that.
	Yeah I read about that.The rape thing just kind of came out, much to the hosts horror. You'd think they'd have learned something from that.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:33, Reply)
 yeah, you would
	yeah, you wouldbut still, the whole reason this is even an issue is the press. To hound a woman to suicide and then press for someone else to go to prison for it is such a staggering level of hypocrisy and lack of self awareness you'd think that Leveson had achieved nothing.
Oh, right. Yeah.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)
 The press hypocrisy on this has been staggering.
	The press hypocrisy on this has been staggering.I've worked in enough places looking after people who 'of public interest' to know that there's not one of the sanctimonious pricks who hasn't attempted to access confidential information from a hospital by pretending to be a relative.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)
 Alt: might go out and have eggs benedict and a bloody mary for 'brunch'*
	Alt: might go out and have eggs benedict and a bloody mary for 'brunch'**Yes I realise this portmanteau is annoying.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)
 Lusty is obsessed with eggs benedict.
	Lusty is obsessed with eggs benedict.Irritatingly, because she acquired this habit in the colonies she occasionally calls them 'bennys' which, despite its 'on the loose' comical association, I find somewhat irksome.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:34, Reply)
 If there's a law that allows them to be sent down for that long, then tough titties for them
	If there's a law that allows them to be sent down for that long, then tough titties for themNot sure what the sentence is for 'Impersonating a Royal to a gullible bint' is.
I don't necessarily agree, but they're Australian, they're all descended from criminals anyway.
Then again, the thing that is amusing me the most in the press at the minute is the fact that despite everyone knows it, no paper is allowed to print the name of M*gan St*mmers. Makes reading the reports about her suicidal parents a little more entertaining.
Alt: Chicken and chilli soup, methinks.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:33, Reply)
 And you felt it wise to admit that. On here.
	And you felt it wise to admit that. On here.Methinks you're in for some bulllying.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)
 The legal issue relates to the broadcasting of the call, as I understand it,
	The legal issue relates to the broadcasting of the call, as I understand it,rather than the making of the call itself.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:35, Reply)
 Hopefully he will carry the Cobain replacement role to its logical conclusion.
	Hopefully he will carry the Cobain replacement role to its logical conclusion.(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:40, Reply)
 He is you know.
	He is you know.And he's fucked a cripple, so Courtney is a logical extension being that she's batshit mental.
He should also try heroin; preferably a large dose.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:49, Reply)
 Well, he's got more money than sense, so this shouldn't be difficult
	Well, he's got more money than sense, so this shouldn't be difficultHis Christmas presents for others in the past have been bordering on obscene.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:02, Reply)
 Like that time when he got Heather a plane
	Like that time when he got Heather a planeand a ladyshave for the other leg.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)
 I didn't think so at the time; he got me out of bed.
	I didn't think so at the time; he got me out of bed.I only answered it as at the time my mother in law was dying and I thought it might have been 'the call'.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:25, Reply)
 Ahh, fair enough
	Ahh, fair enoughThe last drunken phone call I had was off a friend to whom I'd recommended a takeaway in Liverpool. He phoned me at 3am to berate me that it was closed, I told him to piss off, whilst laughing quite a lot.
The one before that was my very drunk friend informing me her Nan had died, not the best.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:26, Reply)
 I think they are trying to buy their way out of trouble
	I think they are trying to buy their way out of troublemetro.co.uk/2012/12/11/prank-radio-station-2day-fm-to-donate-at-least-320000-to-family-of-tragic-royal-nurse-3311867/
As for food when I go shopping later I will decide, I'm Kinda thinking steak at this stage
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:34, Reply)
 Steak is a good idea
	Steak is a good ideaI haven't had steak in far too long, might pick some up for Christmas Day.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:35, Reply)
 So far Christmas day will consist of
	So far Christmas day will consist ofA turkey crown, loin of pork & Topside beef meatwise that is.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
 So far my Christmas day is consisting of a few beers, that's about it
	So far my Christmas day is consisting of a few beers, that's about itNot seeing family until the next day
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:56, Reply)
 Steak and beer
	Steak and beer Sounds like your Christmas will be better than mine
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)
 If you genuinely believe
	If you genuinely believethat when investigating internal criminal-on-criminal crime, the police put the same effort in that they would for, say, a missing child, then you are a blithering idiot.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
 Most of the more measured press an comments seem to absolve them of blame
	Most of the more measured press an comments seem to absolve them of blameOnly the tabloids are baying for blood
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)
 Now you're talking sense
	Now you're talking senseWill it be in public in front of an outraged crowd?
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
 Maybe we, the public, should get to vote which one dies and in what fashion
	Maybe we, the public, should get to vote which one dies and in what fashion(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)
 which, as I said above
	which, as I said above is amazingly fucking hypocritical, given the tabloids are the only body who can really be held accountable for her suicide.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
 I think trying to blame people for suicide is generally a non starter.
	I think trying to blame people for suicide is generally a non starter.(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
 yes, granted.
	yes, granted.these things cannot be predicted. But the press manufactured the outrage about the call, so are really the only party that have done anything seriously "morally" wrong.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)
 I do more morally wrong things with your mum before breakfast for gods sake!
	I do more morally wrong things with your mum before breakfast for gods sake!And no one is calling for my suicide...
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
 you don't
	you don'tthe carers don't get her out of bed until after breakfast.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:44, Reply)
 As recently as the 1820s
	As recently as the 1820sit was necessary to pass a law outlawing the burying (and staking) of suicides at crossroads, in this country.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
 Perhaps if all the nosey cunts stopped buying the papers
	Perhaps if all the nosey cunts stopped buying the papersand stopped being interested in "slebs" who they'll never meet as a substitute for a real social life, less of this kind of thing might occur?
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
 bollocks
	bollocksI mean, in all other areas you are entirely right, but in the area of news the market is too retarded to decide. It reads whatever shit you put in front of it.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:56, Reply)
 So you're saying that if the Sun got rid of the tits and stupid sleb headlines
	So you're saying that if the Sun got rid of the tits and stupid sleb headlinesand turned into the Telegraph overnight, it'd still sell as many million copies?
Shite sleb-obsessed papers only exist because saddoes want to read about slebs. If they didn't then everyone would be reading something with actual news in it.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)
 A tenter is used to dry wool without it shrinking as part of the manufacturing process.
	A tenter is used to dry wool without it shrinking as part of the manufacturing process.So to be on tenterhooks is to be stretched, or under strain and exposed.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:47, Reply)
 Seeing as no-one is giving you a sensible answer
	Seeing as no-one is giving you a sensible answerI'm going to say 'hooks on a tenter' here.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)
 It originally comes from the practice
	It originally comes from the practiceOf the British Raj, where the officers would require a large amount and varity of monkey prositutes to satisfy their urges. They also required the monkeys to be very stupid hence the order of:
Ten Dur Ho Oooks
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:11, Reply)
 Today will be pork belly, with apple mash, sauteed leeks and a black pudding fritter.
	Today will be pork belly, with apple mash, sauteed leeks and a black pudding fritter. I like New specials day.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:44, Reply)
 Pork belly is magnificent
	Pork belly is magnificentCayenne pepper/dried chillis, paprika, pepper and a little apple sauce, spread on both sides, then roast. I now want some.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:00, Reply)
 I'd like to point out that it's been too long in the UK since we had someone make a pathetic attempt at being a serial killer.
	I'd like to point out that it's been too long in the UK since we had someone make a pathetic attempt at being a serial killer.Whilst it's highly unlikely we'll see someone as wonderful as Moaty again we need someone to attempt being the next Derrick Bird.
I'd like to suggest one of you gives it a go. If you decided to take me up on this challenge I will pay a whole £6. per kill, with a £20. bonus for slaughtering plumdozer.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)
 I nearly didn't get out of the place last week cos the road conditions were completely shit.
	I nearly didn't get out of the place last week cos the road conditions were completely shit.(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)
 I'm disappointed it will be too cold for me to wear my bright orange t-shirt.
	I'm disappointed it will be too cold for me to wear my bright orange t-shirt.(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:52, Reply)
 To my mind Shipman doesn't really count
	To my mind Shipman doesn't really countand that self-styled 'Crossbow Cannibal' wanker was shit.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:48, Reply)
 I always refer to Shipman as a mass murderer rather than serial killer.
	I always refer to Shipman as a mass murderer rather than serial killer.But that's just personal preference.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:52, Reply)
 My personal preference is that someone takes me up on my offer and kills you.
	My personal preference is that someone takes me up on my offer and kills you.Today if possible.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)
 They categorised Shipman as our 'worst' serial killer
	They categorised Shipman as our 'worst' serial killerAs he was the most prolific, surely he was our BEST serial killer.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:34, Reply)
 Derrick Bird was a mass murderer
	Derrick Bird was a mass murdererNot a serial killer.
For God's sake man, have some respect for the Ted Bundys of this world.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)
 True,
	True, I quite like a good family murder, like that English fella, emigrated to France, lost all his money l, killed everyone (including the dogs and horses) and then burnt the place to the ground. If you're gonna flip out, kill everything.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)
 I'd like them to make CSI York as a one off special, featuring the painful slaughter of the trainee manager of the Whitby New Town Leisure Centre
	I'd like them to make CSI York as a one off special, featuring the painful slaughter of the trainee manager of the Whitby New Town Leisure Centre(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)
 When I was a jobcentre monkey
	When I was a jobcentre monkeyI had a client wot done a murder. He was a bit of a cunt, really.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)
 Met a couple of murderers who were homeless post prison discharge when I volunteered for Crisis
	Met a couple of murderers who were homeless post prison discharge when I volunteered for CrisisNeither of them looked particularly mean or nasty.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:08, Reply)
 This guy was.
	This guy was.A horrible, weaselly looking scrote of a man who also happened to be HIV positive and deliberately infected his girlfriend. Him and another bloke did a homeless guy in and dumped him in the sea.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:11, Reply)
 He was indeed.
	He was indeed.I had another client who everyone suspected was a kiddy fiddler. A few months after I left the job, lo and behold he was banged up for it.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:23, Reply)
 Daily Mash in 'quite lol link' shoqqqua
	Daily Mash in 'quite lol link' shoqqquawww.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/our-kids-arent-taking-enough-drugs-say-rave-parents-2012121152707?utm_campaign=12122012&utm_source=emailCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)
 WHO CARES?
	WHO CARES?  Whilst tragic, this woman is hardly a massive loss to the medical profession. What would she have done in a real crisis?
I feel sorry for her family because I should but it's nowhere near as interesting as my BBC Advent calendar where you uncover a paedo celebrity everyday!
Alt: Homemade pate salad rolls.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)
 Portmanteau lols: I've found out Nakers' surname:
	Portmanteau lols: I've found out Nakers' surname:www.houseofnames.com/bastick-family-crest
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:08, Reply)
 I'll just leave this here for you, Monts.
	I'll just leave this here for you, Monts.metro.co.uk/2012/12/12/paul-mccartney-to-replace-kurt-cobain-at-nirvana-reunion-gig-3312907/
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:27, Reply)
 Alright the Doveston
	Alright the DovestonWould you mind starting a new thread whilst you're here please?
These wankers are too fucking lazy to start their own, it seems.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:54, Reply)
 Typical Media witch hunt.
	Typical Media witch hunt.Nobody blamed them for giving Jade Goody cancer. Then they made her a saint (or something, I can't remember)
I've made some sandwich rolls as the canteen downstairs is doing Christmas dinner 5 days in a row.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 12:10, Reply)
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