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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 christmas messages of hope and hate
	christmas messages of hope and hatein this thread, you must write a brief christmas card to anyone on the planet, sending them a message of whatever you like.
alt: what is the least sexy/attractive part of the human body?
altalt: i have clients coming in today for lunch. fancy cheeseboard ftw. what are you nomming?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 11:59, 232 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
 to aslef and rmt
	to aslef and rmti hope you will be recompensing the struggling and essential to the british economy retail sector when you ruin the boxing day sales again, you incompetent dinosaur cunts. merry christmas.
alt: your rank knobbly hairy toes.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:02, Reply)
 i won't be here
	i won't be herei will be on the beach. but bob crow is an epic monumental cunt and you know it.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:07, Reply)
 I'm not sure you get to criticise the effect something has on the British economy when you're off sunning yourself in a different country.
	I'm not sure you get to criticise the effect something has on the British economy when you're off sunning yourself in a different country.Unless you will be on the beach in Canvey, in which case I apologise.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:12, Reply)
 Al probably thinks he's great, smash the system, down with homework etc.
	Al probably thinks he's great, smash the system, down with homework etc.(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:13, Reply)
 I like to polish Bobs head and belly after he's finished his hard day upsetting Swipey
	I like to polish Bobs head and belly after he's finished his hard day upsetting Swipey(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:17, Reply)
 I want to like him.
	I want to like him.I want to think he's fighting for the working man. Standing up for the under dog. Making sure that worker's rights aren't trampled under the foot of heartless big business and distant ivory towered government. I want to think he lives, breathes and bleeds the plight of the needy, the struggle of the poor. That he stands for all that is good and worthy about the British worker. That he represents everything a union should be about. That he is, above all, one of us.
And then he opens his fat fucking smug mouth.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:17, Reply)
 I listened to the Phosphoresence album
	I listened to the Phosphoresence albumit was pretty good. I didn't like it as much as I liked Iron and Wine, but it was a good album to stick on while I lay in the bath and stretched my neck.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:20, Reply)
 I really want a bath long enough where I get be fully immersed
	I really want a bath long enough where I get be fully immersedMy in laws have a massive, deep freestanding bath that's brilliant
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:21, Reply)
 You can come round and use mine if you like
	You can come round and use mine if you likebut you're not allowed to lock the door in case I need a poo while you're in the tub.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:25, Reply)
 Haha poor Nakers
	Haha poor NakersHis mood rudely broken when your strained farting blows out all his tealights.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:27, Reply)
 mine is too long for me
	mine is too long for memy toes don't touch the end so if i'm not careful, i drown
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:39, Reply)
 Good stuff.
	Good stuff.His last album is an altogether more country affair and is pretty good.
Today's recommendations are:
Damien Jurado - I can't stand singer-songwriters, but he is an exception;
Willard Grant Conspiracy - if you fancy some 'Americana'
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:42, Reply)
 The term champagne socialist annoys me
	The term champagne socialist annoys meit is possible to earn a lot of money and still want better conditions for the majority of people and pay your fair share towards that. That's the whole point of Socialism rather than Communism.
The fact that he earns a lot of money doesn't make him a cunt.
The fact that he is a cunt makes him a cunt.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:24, Reply)
 and yet, lots of people believe that if someone has had a "privilaged" upbringing
	and yet, lots of people believe that if someone has had a "privilaged" upbringingthen they can't seriously care about "poorer people"
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:28, Reply)
 i thought champagne socialist referred to those born in money, who had never worked, that became socialist pushers?
	i thought champagne socialist referred to those born in money, who had never worked, that became socialist pushers?(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:31, Reply)
 I don't know, but even if it did, so what?
	I don't know, but even if it did, so what?What is the problem with people lucky enough to be born with means trying to put those means to good use?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:32, Reply)
 agreeing with Al here
	agreeing with Al hereIf he was earning that much and avoiding paying tax on it, then that would be hypocrisy regarding his socialism. One guy I know claims to be an 'anarcho-socialist'(I know) yet objects to paying tax. He also thinks that pension companies rip off 'the poor' in spite of the fact that you need disposable income to invest in a private pension, so are unlikely to be on the breadline.
He's a bit of a nob.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:33, Reply)
 I just got a cab too and from the doctors.
	I just got a cab too and from the doctors.I've not had a flatmate who hasn't dissed me for getting a cab before. I don't see whats wrong with it.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:24, Reply)
 Ballbags aren't especially attractive. See also: floppy brisket.
	Ballbags aren't especially attractive. See also: floppy brisket.I had a jelly baby about twenty minutes ago.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:12, Reply)
 I shall be munching on subway sandwiches
	I shall be munching on subway sandwichesMy clients shall be getting fuck-all except a berating from me for not doing as they're told.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:12, Reply)
 i quite like subway
	i quite like subwayi worry that this makes me a tasteless prick. then i realise it's not just the subway.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:41, Reply)
 I have never had anything from there.
	I have never had anything from there.The places smell worse than a b3ta mod's fingers
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:46, Reply)
 Dear Hotels
	Dear HotelsWhen I ask you for a PO, it's not for fun. I can't send out your order without it, so don't come complaining to me that your cards haven't arrived yet, just because you don't fucking read your emails, you spastics.
Regards,
AA
Alt: Fuck knows.
AltAlt: Butternut squash and chilli soup.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:15, Reply)
 I'm constantly surprised by the corporate bookings i get that ask for a Pro-forma invoice,
	I'm constantly surprised by the corporate bookings i get that ask for a Pro-forma invoice,And bank transfer details and invoices. We're a pub. Cash or card.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:23, Reply)
 Yes. and get quite upset.
	Yes. and get quite upset. I think people in finance departments need to relax, and be a little less self-important.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:28, Reply)
 From previous experience with finance departments, it's usually because there's someone above them wanting results quicker than they're comfortable with
	From previous experience with finance departments, it's usually because there's someone above them wanting results quicker than they're comfortable withWhich isn't hard, because finance depts can be workshy bellends at times
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:27, Reply)
 Dear Alan.
	Dear Alan.Cheer up you stupid wanker.
Love piggles.
Alt. Well, on a fatty it is the pelvic pouch thing they get, on an average person probably the bum crack, and on a skinny person their weird knobbly knee legs.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:21, Reply)
 It's okay now, I've had lunch and a couple of pro plus, so I'm much happier
	It's okay now, I've had lunch and a couple of pro plus, so I'm much happier(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:24, Reply)
 I'm watching This Morning and Palomia Faith is on.
	I'm watching This Morning and Palomia Faith is on.She's popper cute, didn't think anything of her before this interview.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:22, Reply)
 she has the single most irritating voice in the world.
	she has the single most irritating voice in the world.But yeah, she is kinda pretty.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:23, Reply)
 Oddly enough her live and her talking voice doesn't have that annoying tone.
	Oddly enough her live and her talking voice doesn't have that annoying tone.(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:24, Reply)
 SHe's another one of those annoying cunts like Florence Welch where they are perfectly talented in their own right
	SHe's another one of those annoying cunts like Florence Welch where they are perfectly talented in their own rightbut they have to cover a "classic" 80s song and then keep using that to promote themselves.
Plus Paloma Faiths verson of that INXS song is fucking gash.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:27, Reply)
 I like her,
	I like her, Me and ladypig saw her in London at some point, danced like loons.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:40, Reply)
 By a Cornishman
	By a Cornishmanand yes I know they call everyone handsome but I really needed to feel good about myself and...and... :(
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:56, Reply)
 She's half shouting-at-trees-nutter and half hamster.
	She's half shouting-at-trees-nutter and half hamster.Dozer probably wants to put her up his bum.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:25, Reply)
 I have never killed a hamster.
	I have never killed a hamster.Grace is extremely settled, happy and confident.
Thanks for asking xx
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:47, Reply)
 it's a pointless rodent though
	it's a pointless rodent thoughhow on earth do you know it's happy? and why would you CARE?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:48, Reply)
 if she was unhappy she would lose fur, lose weight and hardly leave her nest.
	if she was unhappy she would lose fur, lose weight and hardly leave her nest.She's extremely active and extremely healthy. And I care because that's why you have a pet.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:53, Reply)
 I hate her fucking guts, the self-styled 'kooky' toss-end.
	I hate her fucking guts, the self-styled 'kooky' toss-end.She is the epitome of waqqqi and I wouldn't touch her with one of your old Pringles tubes.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:32, Reply)
 ^^this
	^^thisshe sounds as thick as when interviewed, too.
If you need stupid hair to try and be noticed, perhaps you're fundamentally not all that great?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:36, Reply)
 dear monty.
	dear monty.merry crimbo, I hope you don't freeze to death from drinking too much cheap cider.
xxx
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:34, Reply)
 alright pigster.
	alright pigster.I got your crimbo pressie :D OH BOY! you're going to love it.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:47, Reply)
 he even drank the perfume from the secret santa bag :(
	he even drank the perfume from the secret santa bag :(poor cavy, she was looking forward to not smelling of larp for a change
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:41, Reply)
 what does larp smell like?
	what does larp smell like?grass, sweat and never been near a fanny testosterone?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:42, Reply)
 Trying to explain to them that what tgey are drinking,
	Trying to explain to them that what tgey are drinking,Is so far removed from traditional mead that they may as well have ribena mixed with vodka and call it "ye olde berry wine" is hilarious. Stupid druid pricks.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:09, Reply)
 it's lucky you send me all those gazzes, texts and emails
	it's lucky you send me all those gazzes, texts and emailstelling me how much you heart me
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:49, Reply)
 Nothing as yet...
	Nothing as yet......but I suspect that everyone's chowed down on Mrs Ringofyre..
b3ta.com/questions/overcomingadversity/post1810817
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:39, Reply)
 Dear everyone,
	Dear everyone,Stop being sick.
I'm sick of everyone being sick.
I'm sick of being sick.
I'm sick of my sick kids being sick.
I'm sick of doing your shit jobs while you're all off sick.
Fuck off.
Lots of love,
tangledupinblue
xx
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
 ooh, Tangers
	ooh, TangersDinosaur Jr are playing in Leeds at the end of Jan. I'm quite excited about that.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:55, Reply)
 The thing about Dinosaur Jr is, that they're really shit.
	The thing about Dinosaur Jr is, that they're really shit.Also, J Mascis looks like Jonathan King. Not a good look in these 'Operation Yewtree' times.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:59, Reply)
 Nah, you're wrong on this one.
	Nah, you're wrong on this one.And J's alright for a middle-aged stoner with long grey hair.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:03, Reply)
 There was such a dearth of genuinely good guitar records coming out at that time
	There was such a dearth of genuinely good guitar records coming out at that timethat people latched onto them not realising that all they were doing was picking the best of a bad bunch.
cf Nirvana, cf Guns and fucking Roses. Poor old 'those days'.
Mediocre at best.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:10, Reply)
 I put it to you that you do not.
	I put it to you that you do not.Search your feelings, you snotty wankstain.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:18, Reply)
 Typical hippie snobbery.
	Typical hippie snobbery.I'm sorry if I don't drink enough organic lychee juice for your tastes, but I have that right ok?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:16, Reply)
 Not true.
	Not true.And while I agree with you about Nirvana etc. they were an important transitional band for me getting from my teenage metal phase to finding there was better music out there.
Anyway, I'd love to stay and argue this point but I've got to go and do some work to cover for another fucking sick person.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:16, Reply)
 I'm afraid I'm going to have to play the 'Joy Division' card here
	I'm afraid I'm going to have to play the 'Joy Division' card herewhich invalidates everything you have to say about anything, ever.
Soz.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:10, Reply)
 I saw them playing You're Living All Over Me at Koko a few years back.
	I saw them playing You're Living All Over Me at Koko a few years back.It was ace, despite them being horrendously pissed.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:59, Reply)
 I'm revolting myself today
	I'm revolting myself todayI've passed the constant watery snot stage and have moved onto the occasional and very unpleasant thick, heavy, yellow snot.
Each blow of my nose makes my head feel slightly lighter.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:01, Reply)
 I'm currently watery. I went to blow my nose again and a droplet of snot fell right out and plopped into the bog.
	I'm currently watery. I went to blow my nose again and a droplet of snot fell right out and plopped into the bog.(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:02, Reply)
 dear Kim Jong Un
	dear Kim Jong UnAlright dadless? Did you know there's a club on the internet you can join?
Merry Christmas,
Quinten
PS is everything in proportion? Y'know cos you're quite short and barack obama looks about 6'4"
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:58, Reply)
 incidentally, although my pots are actually black
	incidentally, although my pots are actually blackmy kettle is more of a beigey-magnolia colour
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:18, Reply)
 most of my cutlery is stainless steel
	most of my cutlery is stainless steelwith like a fine line along the outlines
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:23, Reply)
 i have a set of coffee mugs, all of them uniform brown
	i have a set of coffee mugs, all of them uniform brownbut i rarely use them, i have many novelty mugs, usually the size of a small barrel that i most often use to drink from
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:24, Reply)
 there aren't any parks particularly near me
	there aren't any parks particularly near meand the greenspace around my flat is under-maintained.
i keep thinking someone will clear it up a bit, but they never do
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:30, Reply)
 i have various kitchen utensils
	i have various kitchen utensilsnone of them matching.
my girlfriend got me a purple rubber whisk once, WHAT ON EARTH WAS SHE THINKING??
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:37, Reply)
 alt feet
	alt feetAltalt nothing yet, it's only just one o'clock you great warbling gannet
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 12:59, Reply)
 Alright Q,
	Alright Q, Are you and mumpstmy having an affair, which is keeping you both from posting on this once great forum so much?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:11, Reply)
 Dear cunts,
	Dear cunts,Could you try to be a bit less cunty for a week or so over Christmas? and yes God that does include you, stop looking at your feet, you try to pretend this is your holiday, so get in the proper spirit or I'll deck your fucking halls, alright?
Love Wilf.
Alt, depends how hornet/attracted to the person you are, genitals can be both the best and worst on this one. Leaving them aside I'm gonna go with the inside of the ear.
AltAlt: Nada just yet, I'll pop to the co-op when the lunchtime rush dies down, probably have a rustlers burger, nom.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:20, Reply)
 my glasses are somewhat of a mish-mash too
	my glasses are somewhat of a mish-mash tooi have a set of simlar looking slim jims with nobbled bit on the bottom, but again they are too small. i mostly drink from a pint glass, usually stolen from a pub
i have one very fancy wine glass, all my other wine glasses were broken by stupid drunken twats
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:28, Reply)
 it was my fault
	it was my faulti shouldn't have gone for the posh ones
what WAS I thinking?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:33, Reply)
 shut it stumpy
	shut it stumpyyou're getting duller and more monotonous that Rory
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:25, Reply)
 my crockery sets are quite nice
	my crockery sets are quite nicepottery sideplates and dinnerplates, a few denbies bowls and cereal bowls, nothing fancy
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:32, Reply)
 I have other commitments I'm afraid, young sir.
	I have other commitments I'm afraid, young sir.Opportunity to raise some Xmas pocket money.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:40, Reply)
 great thanks, Mister Adam, sir
	great thanks, Mister Adam, sirmerry christmas and how's your plates?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:35, Reply)
 Merrymishmash to you too and all that xmas nonsense.
	Merrymishmash to you too and all that xmas nonsense.I'm doing well, and I'm thinking about broadening my horizons*
*moving over to /offtopic
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:39, Reply)
 first thing you have to do is knife the toughest looking guy
	first thing you have to do is knife the toughest looking guythen no-one else will mess with you
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:41, Reply)
 By 'toughest' do you actually mean 'toughest' or 'least mentally regressed'?
	By 'toughest' do you actually mean 'toughest' or 'least mentally regressed'?(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:45, Reply)
 stop bullying Frisbee
	stop bullying Frisbeejust because he's climbed the social ladder and now ranks higher than you do
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:35, Reply)
 you don't need to climb any ladder to out-rank me quint
	you don't need to climb any ladder to out-rank me quinthe's still a fucktard.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:36, Reply)
 i like you both, i think we all need to calm down and get some breathing space
	i like you both, i think we all need to calm down and get some breathing spacedoes anyone want me to gaz a mod?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:37, Reply)
 yeah, go for it
	yeah, go for itI'm sure b3th wil do..... well, bugger all actually, but maybe one of the p[roper mods.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:39, Reply)
 Fucking hell I leave you lot alone for one morning.
	Fucking hell I leave you lot alone for one morning.And look what happens. Who dropped kicked the hornets nest?
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 13:58, Reply)
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