Some cunt just had Five yes FIVE sugars in their coffee
What do you do to excess?*

Alt: Hipster food? What would you add to this list?
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jan/03/hipster-food-glossary-french-dip-burnt-ends
They Deffo. Need to add pulled pork.

Alt:Alt: Name your best feature and explain why?

*You don’t need to answer this Stunned, we know already
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 13:56, 112 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

To excess? I just ate a whole punnet of strawberries by myself. If I'd had another punnet to hand, I would have eaten that too.
Alt alt - I ask you in return, physical or personality?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Alt:Alt: Either, any or both fire away
Mine are my eyes I have been told, Very Green (although quite red some mornings)
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I like my eyes.
Dark greenblue ring around the edge of the iris, very green, then some orange-y flecks around the pupils.

Also. I'm good at listening.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Miss Miss She's copying my work

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:08, Reply)

yes, because I'm totally able to copy the way the pigment in your eyes has been laid down in my own eyes.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)

You biology people
With your fingers and lube, coming here stealing our eyes
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)

At least I don't steal eyes the way that crazy bitch in Kill Bill does...

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)

PaiMei was nobodys bitch

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)

...and Battered is spent...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Drink
Alt: Burnt ends are fucking delicious, as is american style macaroni cheese. Wouldn't mind a go of that french dip either

AltAlt: My strong legs, because there's nothing else that springs to mind.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Thx.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:05, Reply)

YW good evening last night?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)

Monty rang in sick
so it must have been OK. Haha.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)

How was Battered? Was he all boil in the bag
or as cool as a cucumber.
He didn't deserve that stepping
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)

He bottled it, mate.
A no show.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Drink
Alt. That should have chocolate fedoras on it for the true hipster food explosion.

AltAlt. My hair's pretty good.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)

there is a new coffee shop up the road here,
that seems to be exclusively for men with beards and check shirts, skinny jeans and trust funds looking at photos I can only guess have some deep and important cultural meaning, despite to the layman looking a lot like blurry photos of puddles.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)

I saw some cunt wearing a beret the other day
A FUCKING BERET. IN IRELAND.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)

Jesus Christ Theo.
do they have no respect?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:43, Reply)

I just wonder where the parents are in all this

( Theoban What of it, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)

broken Britain

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

YM.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)

Hahahahaa at least I have one...........
Wait you're not AA
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Amorous Badger's mum is awesome.
She's properly lovely.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)

I don't get this pulled pork thing
I have been making Slow roast pork for years. It seems to me that they are the same thing.
( Peej, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Does the bone pull away from the meat clean?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Yes, I grab it with my tongs and it just comes out

( Peej, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:17, Reply)

Do you then tear it into little pieces and serve with BBq and Hot sauce?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:20, Reply)

Sometimes
Why does the sauce make it pulled?
( Peej, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Fuck you should have patented that
Them Americans stole your invention
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:05, Reply)

Working and drinking.
my best feature is my incredible moustache.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Are you on CBBC?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)

no, 19 questions left.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:31, Reply)

Must be another "pig moustache" then

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:33, Reply)

i don't understand.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)

It's a character on the CBBC announcer's desk

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)

No one cares.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Sorry to hear that.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)

you know you are allowed to do something else while the kids watch TV right?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)

This is proper hipster cookery
www.gousto.co.uk/
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)

That's pretty bloody lazy,
but not too bad an idea.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Also does fuck all for lunches so you'll have to go shopping anyway.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)

It's a ridiculous idea for incredibly stupid people.
Much like Grazebox.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)

To be honest, I'm constantly pissed off by how much food I throw away.
But I think that's because I live with a vegan so we can't share much food.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)

And paying £42 a week for food that I won't throw away doesn't really make sense.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)

write a shopping list based on what you plan to eat.
buy the contents of that list. Unless you're eating fucking swan every night, you shouldn't be spending more than that on just the food for one person.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)

The stuff I chuck out tends to be things where I've not finished a packet like PHiladelphia or sliced ham
rather than things I haven't used at all. When planning dinner I check the fridge and dinner is based on what is in there and what needs to be eaten soonest.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)

Nah my main thing is pack sizes not buying superflous stuff.
I can rarely get through a pack of bacon before it goes off, and I always throw away about a third of a loaf of bread.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)

Buy a fucking freezer then
it's not rocket surgery.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

I had this problem when I was living alone.
Stuff just doesn't come in small enough packets. So you have to cook a huge fucking batch of stuff at a time and eat mince for four days straight.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)

eat
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)

FREEZER. ARRRGH.


that's not me getting frustrated with you, I've just caught my balls in a -80...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)

What's a -80?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

sorry, a -80 freezer. As in, one that keeps things at minus 80 centigrade.
We use them for cell banking.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Only you and Berk would get this joke.

( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)

Who said it was a joke?
if you'll excuse me, the fire brigade are here now.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

You don't need an ambulance, I can fix it for you.
I even brought my own toffee hammer.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

You can buy a large amount of mince and freeze it you know?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

Which is fine
but then you've got to cook it all at once. You're not supposed to re-freeze stuff and if I cook up a batch of stuff, then sort it into individual portions and freeze them separately, then I don't have any fucking room for ice cream and chips.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)

get a bigger freezer.
it's cheaper than throwing food away. Also, if you freeze the raw mince in meal sized portions, you can cook different things each time.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:00, Reply)

I rent, I don't buy my own freezers.

( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Are you being intentionally stupid?
You can subdivide the mince into small portions. About 125g per person is reasonable.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)

In my last place I only had a little freezer.
Doing that means you need containers, which takes up more room. Which, in turn, means no fucking ice cream and chips.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Again, how do you survive in the world?
Have you not heard of sandwich bags? You place your mince in a bag and you can tuck lots of little portions up together and bobs your uncle.

I would now like an apology from you for being so dumb for so long and then I would like an expression of thanks for the fact that you can now purchase large packs of mince and chicken and not half to throw it away.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)

Well, mostly I have muddled along by eating chicken kievs.
I like the way I white knighted Chompy then it's all been about how I'm now the idiot and he's nowhere to be found.

Cheers, BRO.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

No probs.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)

Al, saying what I wanted to say, but more succinctly. Again. Fucking hell,

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)

You know what Badger, I'm not implying anything by this next comment
but I reckon Swipe thinks Grazebox is a great idea.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)

You know what Al, even though I clearly love Swipe with all my heart
The day I would do anything other than the exact opposite of anything she says on the subject of food would be the day I would hire King Herod as a childminder.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

There's a guy at work that uses Grazebox.
He thinks it's brilliant. I think he could go to the supermarket and buy five times the amount of cashews for half the money, but what do I know?
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

You know how to be prejudiced against car manufacturers based on no evidence
which leads me to conclude you're also capable of being prejudiced against skin colour and are therefore a racist.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Not on no evidence, on one piece of evidence.
It'd be more accurate to say that I think all black people are criminals because I once saw a black kid nick some marbles.

Which I did, and I do.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)

There was a place in waterloo station doing that
10 years ago. Since it went out of business, and in a main line station is basically the perfect place for that kind of thing, I can only assume it's a bad business model in the long run. What with it being hideously expensive and supermarkets not being.

Of course, there may be a proportionally relevant increase in the number of idiotic hipster cunts now, so that might keep it going for a while.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)

I don't understand why anyone thought it would make a good business model.
It clearly relies on people with more money than sense, and we've been in a recession/downturn for about five years now.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)

There's a lot of buisnesses that run perfectly well on that principle.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)

Like Apple.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)

and Rolex

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Yeah, but stupidity appears to be on the increase
exponentially, as far as I can see.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)

A weekly bag only has 3 meals
I eat 3 meals a day. and my weekly food bill for a family of 4 including nappies etc. comes to about £60
( Peej, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

also its not £5.60 per meal
Its £5.60 per person, per meal.
( Peej, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)

Ha ha, I didn't notice that, that makes it a real rip off.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)

does it really only have 3 meals?
I didn't actually bother to read that far. Fucking hell, are they so hipster that having 7 days in a week is too mainstream for them?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)

I tried to check it out but the cunting 'SIGN UP TO OUR NEWSLETTER' bollocks wouldn't piss off long enough
So I got angry and closed the tab
True story man
( Theoban What of it, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)

Nappies are quite filling though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)

I've got pretty good legs.
Decent bum too, but I'm too polite to mention it.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)

FFS.
You'll have Darth frothing at the leg.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)

i've always wanted to have a go on a segway.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)

Can't you hire them?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)

There's nowhere to put your cock
I've tried already.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)

They are amusing
we hired some in Ljubjana (sp? fuck knows) on a stag do. Nothing like drunken segwaying between strip clubs, I find. All of the class.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)

http://www.city-discovery.com/london_tours/segway_and_walking_tours_page_2#/?category=15,&keyword=segway

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)

It's spelt "segue"
fucking Merkins
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)

I conversation I once had with an American contained
"No, it shouldn't be spelt 'merang'. No, it shouldn't be pronounce 'merengay', either".

That wasn't because he was an American, though. It was because he was a fucking retard. Obviously it should be "merengoo"
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

What the fuck is hipster food?
Im glad I dont buy into fads and trends.
Food is food. Good or bad. It tastes good or it doesn't.
This relies heavily on the individual.

I did wonder what bubble tea was, so that article has cleared it up slightly.

I don't really do anything to excess anymore. My main poison was drink but as I've got older, getting totally leathered is less appealing.

Alt.Alt.
I'm always told I have nice eyes. They're a nice Grey/Blue colour
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)

It's the latest rage food
May contain Spinich
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)

In the last month, eat and drink
Swear, fart, drink coffee

Alt:
Not sure how it is hipster food - just the latest "thing"

AltAlt:
Eyes, apparently. Though why people like the red rimmed, yellowy piss look is beyond me.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:00, Reply)

To all you people replying "I've been told I have nice eyes" to the Altalt
It's because you have no other attractive features.
All eyes look quite nice, the rest of you is obviously fucking hideous.

Altalt: My eyes :(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:07, Reply)

I didn't say "eyes"
Mind you, I didn't say "face", either.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)

Then my comments do not apply to you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

^^this
Altalt: My purple headed womb warrior.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Fuck you.
Im pretty
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)

+ Vacant
Anchovies
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)

Has anybody watched Charlie Brookers 2012 wipe?
There's an excellent your mum joke in it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Yes. It was very funny.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

cool stories bro's

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

iplayer it, you lazy scrote.
I ain't your personal TiVo.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

I've forgotten the actual quote but it was something like.
Gangham style then infected thousands of men in a Thai prison, like your mum did.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Reporting on Psy dancing with Ban Ki Moon and various others
Gangnam Style then infected thousands of Thai prisoners, like your Mum did.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

I laughed at a bit of it and I can't remember what bit that was
This is a brilliant story too
( Theoban What of it, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

I haven't seen it, but I'm laughing along with you all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Just imagine watching a programme and then doing a little 'hehe' occasionally
Proper good that
( Theoban What of it, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

It's the beard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)