As much as I love picking on Localy Wocaly,
I've got a news link.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20919705

I used to work with the guy who runs this pub. He phoned me this morning, and he's not doing very well. Do you think it's his fault or the hospital?
His paperwork wasn't up to date, so no matter what he's lost his job, but I when I knew him he was very strict in the kitchen, and would've thought the head chef should go down, not him?

Ever been involved in anything like this?

alt: That Tory fellow stepped down to go for a job in business. Smart or dumb?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:12, 127 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i got food poisoning once, it was horrible but i never thought i was going to die
i blame the media for some reason
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:14, Reply)

It's no-ones fault, and it absolutely does my fucking head in that there has to be someone to blame for everything these days.
Food poisoning is rarely very serious, that strain of Clostridium isn't particualary nasty, and the hospital treated her entirely reasonably.

She will have died because of some massive underlying health condition which is neither the fault of the pub nor the hospital.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)

You're saying we should burn down both the pub and the hospital?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)

YES DAMMMIT.
I'm saying she was a fat, unhealthy bifter who died due to her own terrible lifestyle, actually.

I've no idea if this is true but I'd be happier placing money on that than any other reason.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)

But by the sound of it,
they were hot holding turkey at too low temp to keep bacteria at bay, and no one knew as proper temp checks hadn't been done, or were falsified, he wasn't very clear. so someone fucked up and made 30 people ill.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)

and they should be punished for just that.
A fine or whatever. A death is horrible and all that, but it's not an expected result of food poisoning.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)

In other pub news
I found out this morning that the landlord of my local has done a moonlight flit rather than turn up for a court appearance for allegedly touching up one of the barmaids.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Well, her paint finish was getting a little tired
it was only reasonable. Did he use an inferior gloss?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)

I think he just added a slight glaze to her back.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)

I'll set them up....

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Face like a painter's radio, etc

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)

Good lad.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)

It hadn't gone unnoticed that since he took over all the staff were young, female and, if not immediately attractive, certainly a 'would' after a couple of pints.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Best pub ever

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Er...
You're forgetting that this pub is in Coventry.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)

Somebody recommend some fucking brandy ffs
I don't have time to research it myself with all the Accord driving and model fucking I have to do today.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)

I like Remy Martin.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)

I don't care what YOU like, I want to know what I'D like.
God. Amateur.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)

very well. You'd like wanking through some girl's window late at night

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)

he keeps trying that with me
luckily i'm on the second floor and he's not that tall
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

yeah, but if he holds off for a week or so
he can generate the required pressure to elevate a pop shot two stories.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)

I'm going to take that advice
she's always leaning out of her window, laughing at me.

I'll show her, enough denial and in a month or so I'll be able to fire a rope straight into her smug fucking eye.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)

True enough.
But I was rather hoping for somebody to address the issue at hand. Brandy.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

What sort of brandy?
Armagnac? cognac? metaxa? marc or grappa?

Or are you counting fruit brandies? Schnapps? Kirsch? Calvados?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)

What?
Fucking brandy.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

You want this one then:
www.aldi.co.uk/uk/html/product_range/product_range_22881.htm
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)

brandy is just distilled wine.
there are shit loads of types, all very different. You might as well ask me to recommend a beer without staying whether you like lager, ale, etc.

See below, try an Armagnac. Nicer and better value that cognac as it doesn't have the rapper/Monty Boyce market driving the prices up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)

If you actually want some advice, try a decent armagnac.
Janneau is a great bet for value, try the 8 year old to start.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Excellent badge, thanks.
I shall do that.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Then make a lolarious joke about having an eight year old called Brandy.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Waitrose sell it for less than £25 I think.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Cuntreau

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)

You'd like this one:
www.winedancer.com/contents/en-uk/p1548.html?gclid=CI_28bHF2LQCFTDMtAoddD4AYA
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I fucking would as well
Unfortunately though, I forgot to born as Prince Rainier of Monaco, so I'll have to give it a miss.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Schoolboy error there, Krones.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)

where is plumdozer when you need him?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I'm whisky, not brandy.
Sorry babygirl.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)

+e

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)

If it'll shut you up:
www.thedrinkshop.com/products/nlpdetail.php?prodid=258

or

www.thedrinkshop.com/products/nlpdetail.php?prodid=253 if you want a name you've heard of.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

fanks

( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)

That last one neatly demonstrates the difference between cognac and armagnac, too
it's all about the taste you prefer, of course, so you'd need to try them, and direct comparisons aren't really spot on - but the 8 yo Hine there is twice the price of the 8 yo Janneau I mentioned up there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)

They do that too
www.thedrinkshop.com/products/nlpdetail.php?prodid=256

I get the impression Alicia didn't care for it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)

ALthough I'm assuming she doesn't like the taste of wood
if she does SHE CAN HAVE MY NUMBER ROFFLE
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)

that's a 4yo and horribly overpriced, it was the 8yo I suggested up there.
But, like I said, all about taste. But cognacs are universally rather overpriced because of the "gangsta" association.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)

I blame Nick Clegg and his kroneys
alt: smart, polictics is a mugs game
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Nick Clegg and his s
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)

There is definitely more than one of me
This username is almost always already used when I go to sign up for things.

I'm going to have to hunt them all down and destroy them. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)

ONE UN
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)

I like threads that ask for our opinions
Unfortunatley, I don't have one in this case.

But I do think the least the pub could do, is lay on a spread for the after burial/burning party.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)

They've probably got plenty of leftover turkey for the sandwiches.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

fuck you hippy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

turkey dinner yeah?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

perhaps the landlord could kill off the husband this time?
problem solved
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)

that is weird.
Nope. I keep a clean nose. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)

What's better, those wireless booster things or the ones that use the electric wires in the building?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)

The wires ones
powerline networking is better than wireless unless you're really unlucky and your house wiring is weird and/or shit. If your stuff doesn't move around wire it up.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Wired is always better.
Power and network cables are all made of copper and there's no interference from power signals.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)

The best of all is SHUT UP YOU FUCKING WANKER

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:43, Reply)

how many fucking times

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Take Nakers. Times him by a thousand.
Scatter him liberally throughout the country and add a variety of impenetrable regional accents. Give him multiple programmes and platforms.

That's my job.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)

And mine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)

And mine :(

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Not mine :D

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)

or mine :D

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:53, Reply)

just fix it and shut up nerd

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Half the time it's not even fucking broken. They're just too stupid to know how to do their own jobs.

( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Why do they need to know how to do their own jobs if they can just call you up to get it done?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:50, Reply)

This does seem to be the prevailing attitude, yes.

( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)

you are basically are moaning about doing your job
if everyone could fix things themselves you'd be out on your massive rugby ear
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Nobody will ever be able to fix things for themselves.
Fixing things isn't the problem. It's the people who're too lazy to Google how to put their out of office on that're the problem.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Even I can do that
The Baby Jesus will be out of the office on annual leave until after Easter with limited access to phone and email. If your request is urgent please email [email protected] or I will reply to you on my return
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)

I had an out of office reply from a friend who is an author, which basically said:
I will not be reading any emails in 2013. You can write me a letter, or if it is related to work contact my publisher.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)

i like it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Every time, I'd guess

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)

I like to double check
got to get my new tv hooked up to the interenet
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I've found that wireless boosters are more trouble than they're worth.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)

It's Lokesy's fault.
With his giant sweaty bacteria-ridden palms.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Shut it Boyce, or I'll rub them on your lunch.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)

, or and
l tr+
. +eon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Very good
took a bit of working out, but worth a small cricket ripple.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)

cket ri
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)

I'm now singing 'penis pouch' to the 'Spider-man' tune.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Marsterbatupial

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I took this from his facebook page


His mum is on the right,
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:52, Reply)

genuine officelol
*click*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)

hahaha
'at home with the Lokesy's'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I didn't recognise her from the front

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:16, Reply)

My new duvet has arrived!
it is full of many many geese
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)

No one cares.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I don't care that your don't care
so there
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I don't care that you don't care that he doesn't care.
Etc.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Etc doesn't rhyme, STOOPID

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)

It's
more
modern this way, like


something
by

e
e
cummings


Cheers
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:16, Reply)

geese arse-hungry gay midget rapists.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)

redundancy
gay midget rapists are by definition arse-hungry.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Depends how recently they've been fed some arse.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

They might fancy a nosh
or they might be the takers. Lighters is being rather simplistic, I feel.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)

i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:37, Reply)

MONTY MONTY MONTY! GREAT NEWS
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-20943160
( Peej, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)

AWWWW-RAAAAAAGHTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*kneeslides*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)

He's releasing an album next year,
bet you a pint he headlines glastonbury.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Got back to work today after my Blackpool sojourn
and FUCK ALL of my work has been done. So, as I'm up to my eyes in shite, I thought I'd piss about on here a bit.

Alright?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Did you win any dancing tropies in Blackpool?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Yes!
For the first time ever! We made the final of Novice Ballroom and came third. Fucking CHUFFED.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

it almost makes the years of practice and disappointment worth it
well done
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

It actually does
For about 24 hours there I felt like Fred Astaire
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)

An anorexic and balding bully?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

dead

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

*something something Ginger something figging something Rogers*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

also this thread is dead, start a new one

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

ok, i dun it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)