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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread, only 48 mins until the end of the end \o/
Who's going on hols this year, I'm off to Morroco, anyone got a recommendation of something I must be whilst in Marrakesh?

alt: have you ever been fired? What for?
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:13, 185 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I think I'm going to drive to Italy.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Any part in particular?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
The boot

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)
kinky bastard

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
The bit with the stuff in

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
idiot
go to Florence and Tuscany, it's lovely
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
I'LL GO WHEREVER I WANT

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
Rome FTW

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Rome's lovely but dirty.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Yep, but it is amazing

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)
I would suggest the lakes though for driving
Como is a great base and you can easily trip in to milan etc from there
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)
I would recommend not driving into the lake
/FloodedCarburettorLOLS
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Like sex with a well seasoned hooker

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Are you blobbing?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1828652
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Not currently.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)
^this

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Las vegas, may hit new york on the way there.
LOL 911 lol

Never been fired. I'm awesome
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)
+ at hiding B3ta from the authorities

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)
I've got four days in some 'London' town in May, sounds horrid really
Finland for a week in Summer
I'll probably pop over to Paris at some point, hopefully September, for a few days.

Just drink loads of tea and eat tagines until you become tagine shaped

alt: all the jobs I've been fired from are cos I never went in, like the job I had where I had to phone companies and ask why they hadn't paid their VAT. Just stopped going, so I guess I quit? I dunno.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)
Stoned
Not quite sure as yet with house moves, etc. Possibly Disneyland Paris or Centerparcs

Alt:
No, I rock
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)
Fucking hell, what is it with parents and Disneyland?
There are so many excellent funparks in Europe, and everyone's always banging on about the mouse.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
you may find a certain amount of pressure comes from the children

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
this^
It was great last time but sportscalf Jr was a touch too young to enjoy it properly
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:21, Reply)
But, but....
Parc Asterix, Europapark, Tivoli Gardens.....
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:21, Reply)
none of which means anything to a 6 year old brit
it's like you don't understand children at all
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Alright, 'Jimmeh'
Some of don't spend all our lives noncing.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)
ba ba baaaaaaaa

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
If a six year old doesn't know anything about Asterix then they haven't been parented properly.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:11, Reply)
A distinct lack of Sleeping Beauty and Lightning McQueen

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
lightning mcqueen is a prick
Cars however was Disney most successfully merchandised disney film ever, the only reason they make movies is to license off the merch
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Mater is cool
End of
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
You sound like a public school prick when you say 'mater'

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)
He is a tow truck you mong

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)
It still sounds public schoolboyish
you flid
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)
It's all about Universal Studios!

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)

tudios oldiers
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
*abseils down dam*

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
climbs in freezer

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:30, Reply)
oh yeah Sporters, from the previous thread
I'm pleased the let to buy recommendation is working out for you.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:21, Reply)
So am I!
Seems to be a decent way forward plus it leaves me with a £60K lump sum in future years
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)
and to think Winders thought I'd got it the wrong way 'round...

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Worst case scenario is we overstretch ourselves on the new house and have to sell it
Once our tenants rent period is up we move back into our old house
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Just keep your head down.
Assuming housebuilding remains depressed, demand stays high then property should recover.

Play the medium term game.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Centreparcs is so expensive!
I was going to go over christmas but hell no!
You can go abroad for that!
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
As long as you dont do the activities it isn't bad

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)
In the same way, The Fat Duck is really very cheap as long as you don't eat

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
A twelve month luxury cruise round the med costs fuck all
if you don't buy a ticket for it or go on it.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:40, Reply)
speaking from experience here
I bet you made that lifeboat very homely
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Its a good job you can't do the free things there

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Afternoon!
I'm going to DJ and Roota's wedding this spring, and that may well be as close as I get to a holiday this year.

I've never been to Marrakesh either, but I understand there is an 'express' there.

Alt: I have never been fired. I'm fucking ace, I am.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)
Don't you have to have a "job" to get fired?
Afternoon b3thers
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)
I've had 'jobs'
thank you very much.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
+hand
+blow
+rim
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:21, Reply)
As regards those first two
do you think I have a penis?
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
walk carefully sporters

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Often

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)
One in each hand and another three filling the holes...

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Albatross

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
That's my girl

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
*reports sportscow*


You know, 'cause you do that to your girl.

Who is only little.


Making you a nonce.

I realise this point is now a little laboured.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)
+ Steve

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
iLol

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
You've haven't been fired cos you've neve had a job!
Where are they getting married, Edinburgh?
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)
And you, yer cheeky cunt.
Yes. Yes they are.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
Oh god, a scotch and scouser wedding.
That'll be fun.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
It would be seriously drunken, but all the booze will have been nicked before the reception

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
I'm betting Roota on which of our fathers will get drunk and cause a scene first.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
NO WHISKEY CHAT

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Italy in July
Florence, Rome and Naples. Yes :)

Never been fired but I did call in sick once after a house party. My boss was also my housemate/landlord at the time who had stopped partying at a reasonable hour.

He wasn't happy like but tough shit. I was high.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)
you can meet up with Kronely
he's so Kronely
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
You think he's cool enough?
Is he Kronely by choice or has he been ostracised?
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Ostracised for being french. but he is into space docking, not sure if that's your thing?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)
And he says things like:
"have you seen my great arse? It's great... YOU FUCKING POTATO WOG"
to girls
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)
I get loads of action

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:36, Reply)
+ space docking

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1828699
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Touching penises in zero gravity?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)
freezing turds and fucking people with them

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Oh...
Then no.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:39, Reply)
Poor Kronely
He's so Kronely
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:40, Reply)
never been fired.
Been redundified though.

Hols- probably Positano again.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
NO WHISKEY CHAT

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)
I DIDN'T MENTION WHISKY!

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
YOU ARE LEARNING

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)
actu-lol

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Isn't that somewhat of a portmanteau word?
You massive hypocrite.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)
NOT IF IT'S HYPHENATED YOU DICK

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Alright, Catweazle.
What is an 'actu-lol' then?
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:36, Reply)
You must be stoned off your tits on hashish from the Atlas mountains.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I will be near them at one point; our friends are going trekking and up them, i suspect they will get really "high"!

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)
You have never smoked anything like it.
Amsterdam my shitpipe.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:32, Reply)
aka WHEN STAG PARTIES GO BAD

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)
If the tension ever calms a bit
Can I recommend hiring a houseboat on lake kashmir... did it about 14 years ago. Dirt cheap and the finest kif I have ever smoked.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)
That's sounds like my kind of shizzle, brah.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)
You could also hire a butler (type thing)
who would come on board and cook your food before buggering off again for about a tenner a week 90's value anyway... Top top notch
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:37, Reply)
actually looks like you still can
I know they stopped them a while back when the natives got restless
www.kashmir-houseboats.com/houseboatrateswithspecialoffer.htm
£38 per night
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I fucking hate being poor :o(

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Worst invitation ever.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Don't knock it til you've tried it son

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Oh come on - everyone's amsterdammed your shitpipe at one time or another.
And it's rubbish.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:54, Reply)
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS ON TRIP ADVISOR

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Those Welsh cunts.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:57, Reply)
This is actualyl interesting
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19962191
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)
They should get those chaps from "raise the Titanic" to do it

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:30, Reply)
Cool, free boat

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)
No it's not.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Hey monty, why don't you just fuck off for a bit yeah?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:37, Reply)
I liked it

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)
We are dealing with this at the mo.
It is going to cost more to dismantle and move than it did to build and kit out. Just.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Can't you just scuttle it out to sea?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)
It's a boat not a crab

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)
It's a ship not a boat.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)
THATS NO MOON

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:45, Reply)
same difference

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:45, Reply)
If it could go sideways they wouldn't be in this mess now

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:45, Reply)
This guy gets it!

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)
That's not what I've heard

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)
lols*
* not lols
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)
You can and if it's as shallow as it is you tow the wreck out.
Italian govt says no. They want it completely removed. We've got to strip it down, cut it up and tow it away.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Stunned = pirate

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)
We are making a film of it.
It's rated RRRRRRRRR.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Battered = angry pirate

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Well that's what insurance is for I suppose.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)
i wonder what the excess is

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:50, Reply)
usd50m i think.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:52, Reply)
not so bad...

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:53, Reply)
1bn insured.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:53, Reply)
ooocha

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:54, Reply)
Not many cruise liners sink in the med to be honest.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:58, Reply)
Indeed.
Then we have to pay the value of it to the owner. And settle all the injury and death claims.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, Reply)
have they found all the bodies yet?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:54, Reply)
*looks round nervously*

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:56, Reply)
I honestly don't know.
Probably not. The salvage budget alone is 500m.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:57, Reply)
Wouldn't it make a good place for diving trips?
It could stay where it as an 'installation'.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Italian govt says no.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Bunch of poofs.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Berlesconi is famous for man whoring

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Certainly not famous for man 'o warring.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:53, Reply)
Alt:
www.b3ta.com/questions/power/post784907
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:32, Reply)
You had to wank him off in the bogs though
Tell the truth now
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)
I heard the old guy came so hard his teeth and anal prolapse both shot out at the same time

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:37, Reply)
HAAAAAAAAAAAahahahahahahahahaha!

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Can teeth prolapse?
Just asking.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:40, Reply)
i meant false teeth really

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:41, Reply)
There was a young man from Brazil.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
who really could never sit still

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)
His ball bag was long

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)
and had quite a pong

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:45, Reply)
because he alway shat in the till.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)
One too many syllables. Soz.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:50, Reply)
Hey monty, why don't you just fuck off for a bit yeah?
I think it would be for the best.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Which made me fee really quite ill

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)
And as for his schlong

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Only for Darth it could fill

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)
They sort of fold inwards against the inside of your mouth
Then your whole mouth area and throat lurches out of your face, like a big pink tooth encrusted sock, dripping on the floor, like a sweaty testicle hanging from your gob
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
...and I'm spent

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
O_O

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Lokesy style.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)
There was a young fellow named Lokesy
Whose manner was simple and folksy
He had a great head
That was made out of bread
And his hands were too big to do goatse.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:58, Reply)
*stands*
*applauds*
*fucks off home*
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:59, Reply)
*golf claps*
*clicks*

*goatses, just to prove Monty wrong*
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:01, Reply)
OfficeLOL

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:20, Reply)
I have got such a boner right now.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:05, Reply)
There is no beer in Marrakesh
due to a law about alcohol not being served in sight of a mosque.

Pay a guide if you are going deep into the Medina its unnavigable.

Haggle ruthlessly you can knock them down by 2/3
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:48, Reply)
^good advice

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:50, Reply)
I went to Essaoura and drank Moroccan wine and smoked hashish until I practically pooed myself,

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Thanks for that Gonz of Arabia

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Africa you fucking geography flid

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:05, Reply)
all arab looking ent they though

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:08, Reply)
Good points, we do have guides, so hopefully they'll sniff out a beer or two. Fuicking Muzzers and their "laws"
also, who the fuck are you?
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Locus213 YOU IDIOT

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:57, Reply)
Well he's not exactly being forth coming is he?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:59, Reply)
We've all been panda-ed

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:07, Reply)
eh?

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:10, Reply)
I was explaining to this dick who you are.

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Got it
eventually
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Im a person using the internet
while I should be working just like everyone else here
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:13, Reply)
Never been fired.
But I once told a donkey to fuck off.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:10, Reply)
No but I've been slapped round the tits

(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:12, Reply)
Off to Cyprus for a wedding in June
Did I mention I went to Russia? That was my first holiday in 5 years. Unless you count larping

alt: no, never, I am awesome
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:10, Reply)
Definitely going on hols this year, destination as yet unknown - maybe Florida
But already booked some dirty weekends...ahem..."mini-breaks" with the bird to Rothesay, London and (don't ask) Portsmouth.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:22, Reply)

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