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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning Fuck-nuggets
nice out innit?

alt: why are you such a frightful bore?

Altalt: anyone want a 30m Ethernet cable? Free if picked up from West London
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:08, 204 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
Morning you soporific twat
alt: something witty to do with fracking
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:15, Reply)
Morning
No.

Alt: Probably due to dealing with housemates who will complain no matter what.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:16, Reply)
Uh oh, trouble in the frat house
Wass goin on?
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:17, Reply)
Boring shit to do with the internet there
Wireless coverage not being good enough, blah blah etc
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:32, Reply)
do you want me to pop over and extend your network?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:33, Reply)
Pervert

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:38, Reply)
Do you want a 30m ethernet cable, i don't need it anymore

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:40, Reply)
Alt: because YM has worn me out and I don't have the energy to be interesting.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:17, Reply)
Poland?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:18, Reply)
because I am sempiternally wracked with ignominy.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:27, Reply)
Morning.
S'alright.

Alt: Hey, being a yoghurt-weaving, yurt prick is not boring.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:36, Reply)
I've been told I am a quite spectacular bore loads of times, so HA YOU'RE WRONG
IN YOUR FACE
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:43, Reply)
that put me back in my box

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:45, Reply)
both bore and boor
HTH xx
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:51, Reply)
and boer

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:51, Reply)
Damn you.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:51, Reply)
He also remembers the Boer war.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:51, Reply)
My shoulder hurts

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:49, Reply)
*shrugs*

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:50, Reply)
ow

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:51, Reply)
GOOD.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:56, Reply)
THANKS FOR YOUR SYMPATHY

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Well this is rocking.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:04, Reply)
I blame everyone but myself

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:05, Reply)
I don't.
I lay the blame at your door.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:06, Reply)
Yeah well I'm laying a bot dog at your door

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:07, Reply)
I blame Nakers.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:06, Reply)
Me too.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:06, Reply)
He's such a cunt.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:07, Reply)
NO YOUN ARE!

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:07, Reply)
What? I even made a computer game reference to try and establish contact with the nerds on here

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:07, Reply)
I didn't get it.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:08, Reply)
dats coz ur fik innit

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:09, Reply)
I played a computer game once.
It was shit.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Yurt Invaders

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:13, Reply)
There's no pleasing some people eh.
This is shit, I'm off to /newsletter where I'm appreciated.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Is it true that you are a member of Kunt's gang?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:09, Reply)
I'm the fucking kingpin.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Do some funny swears then.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Arse BADGER

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Flange Pigeon

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:14, Reply)
Fuck nipples

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:14, Reply)
I'm not sure you are going to get into Kunt's gang with any of these.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:16, Reply)
sad times

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:18, Reply)
Piss baboon!!!!

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:20, Reply)
This guy gets it!
Terydactal tits!
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Look, it's bad enough that there is only you and me posting, but if we're going to post the same things we may as well not bother.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:23, Reply)
I feel we have a cosmic connection

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:27, Reply)
Let's touch the tips of our penises together.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:28, Reply)
*rubs balloon on pubes*

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:30, Reply)
See, this guy gets it.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Wee-wee tapir!!!!!!!!

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
hahahaha
massive office lol
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:24, Reply)
WIN.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:31, Reply)
There's an amateurish and not very funny single in there, somewhere.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Greetings from 2019

(, Mon 4 Feb 2019, 23:08, Reply)
It's worse. He's Joel in disguise.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:16, Reply)
This is shit.
Where's Lokesy? If we all bully him that might pass the time.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
His bread-like frame has probably disintegrated in all this snow.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:23, Reply)
His gargantuan ham-palms have probably frozen solid.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:24, Reply)
Dragging those large ham hands through the snow is hard work.
He'll probably be in around 10.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:24, Reply)
I heard a flock of starlings starved for food in the inclement weather attacked him en mass destroying 54% of his head

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:25, Reply)
Yet his forehead is still enough of a bready cliff for a family of cormorants to make their nest on.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:31, Reply)
Its fucking hard work getting around up here
and there is the snow starting again

Alt:
I work with computers. Nuff said

AltAlt:
No ta
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:28, Reply)
I guess hooves have very little grip on ice

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:29, Reply)
This is true

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
The only viable route into the office is closed again today.
Working from home again it is, then.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
nope, it's not, because we've currently got the sloppy seconds on all that 3" of weather
that you southern whoopsies couldn't handle.

I had to put my wipers on AND clear snow off the car before I left. IMAGINE. If I was in London I'd have had to write a whole three Tumblr posts about that.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:30, Reply)
fucking snow was frozen to my car yesterday, took me ten minutes to chip it all off
Face it badge, London weather is just better than your weather, it's more affluent, more cultured and has access to more world class attractions
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:31, Reply)
haha. yeah, that.
and more specifically, this
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:33, Reply)
lol, except that chap's shirt is very similar to the one I'm wearing today...

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Bit of snow and every cunt thinks they're fucking David Bailey and all.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Jesus fuckery, that does my tits in and all.
I can pretty much see snow for about 3-4 months of the year from my office window. I haven't once felt the need to take an Instagram photo of the shit.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Is that not a Kroney kind of thing?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:35, Reply)
I'm not sure I actually know what an Instagram is
I just think it's probably some hipster shit.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:36, Reply)
You've missed the joke here old fruit

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Oh, fuck, I have, haven't I?
Sorry Boyce. Let the side down badly there.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Well you've said sorry and I for one am prepared to leave it at that.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
very magnanimous of you.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
You'd love it.
It's a piece of technology that enables people to make their expensive modern photographic equipment take pictures that look like they were taken with a shit old camera.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Magic.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
^^^ Very much this

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
At the moment, general consensus is I am a bore because I study so intensely, then have breaks where I do "homely" things.
Like cleaning, or baking, or cooking.

Or going to the gym for an hour and a half.
It has been a beautiful day out today though. you're right.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:35, Reply)
Sorry, I nodded off before getting to the end of that boring post.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Hi poppet!
I was having a discussion yesterday about Aussie music and how there don't seem to be many breakthrough bands from down under. Do you guys listen to "aussie" music or do you get the same imported shit from Merca that we do?
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:37, Reply)
^ SOMEONE appears to have forgotten about 'Midnight Oil' here.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:39, Reply)
HOW CAN WE SLEEP?!

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
There are no* good bands to come out of Australia
*Mr Boyce will now provide a list of three alright bands which will probably include at least one band who could also be considered British.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
I popped on a minidisc the other day that i found in a draw, it had a Powderfinger Album on it
which was average
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I read that as 'I pooped on a minidisc the other day'

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Did it give you a lazy lob on?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
It really did.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)
1. The Saints (70s punk classic I'm Stranded is a superb bit of Stooges ripping-off)

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
2. 60s garage punk legends The Missing Links made several classic 45s
I particularly recommend 'Rich With Nothin'
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:42, Reply)
3. Wolfmother's first LP is great, they were a good live act too

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
I am surprised by this post
I thought you would fall into the "wolfmother is a complete rip off merchant" camp
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
I have no problem with complete ripoffs as long as they do a decent job of it
Airbourne* are effectively an AC/DC tribute act and good for them, I say.


*Australians
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
I disagree with this opinion online.
I'll let you have the other two though.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
there is an aussie hits section on songpop
i'd only heard of kylie
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
uhhh i listen to aussie music,
i listen to lots of things though. you should try The Rubens ir The Temper Trap.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Temper Trap are gash
soz
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Aren't The Veronicas Australian?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:45, Reply)
they are also shit
soz
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
I don't dispute that.
I merely enquired as to their ethnicity.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
I don't see how that should affect your enjoyment of their music you terrible racist

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:48, Reply)
oi jesus
fix my knee
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)
I'll need to touch it...

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
lucky lucky you

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Kylie. She's definitely Australian.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:57, Reply)
You are forgetting
about Men at Work
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)
massively shit.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
alt alt: maybe...

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:38, Reply)
SOLD!

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:38, Reply)
I'll be in london 1st and 2nd of Feb, don't know how much of a detour it'll be and if it's worth it for a cable.
What zone are you in?
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
YOU CAN COME TO MY BIRTHDAY!

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I'm out.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:45, Reply)
SOMETHING ABOUT YOU BEING A BENDER!

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
my victorian street looks lovely in the snow
until you get down to the ground floor and it's just grey slippery ice. and an excuse for the district line to limp all the way to work.

alt: because i was a bit over enthusiastic with the running last night and now the bit at the back of my knee hurts a LOT. it's either the top of my calf or the bottom of my hamstring. i need some ice and a hot swedish masseur called sven.

altalt: no. i think you're too far west for me.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
What is this 'out' of which you speak?
Alt: because I'm old and I never leave the house.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Morning
I had to dodge between cover to avoid falling helicopters this morning so rolled in around 9:30. Still beat my boss in.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Is your boss Bella?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
or b3th - oh, wait....

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Cheers pal

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
sorry dude
couldn't resist
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:11, Reply)
Bella doesn't have staff.
It's against her Al-like student politics.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:50, Reply)
My aim in life is to have "a man"
Need something from the shops? I'll send my man out to get it.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
Yeah, a brown man.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Need something from the shops? I'll send my man out to get it.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1837529
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
god she was tedious
wah wah society blighted me and i can't get a job wah wah. nothing to do with my presentation skills wah wah.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
I'd like to present her wah wah.
She was hard done by. Society clearly owed her a living and wasn't paying up.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
if you want to get into a seriously hard and white collar profession
you don't turn up with scarlet dyed hair and a nose ring. ffs. it's just common sense.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
+ stop rolling around on the floor

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
She would be perfect as a civil servant or local govt officer
where any spud can get a foot in the door and any expectations of the employer on presentation are bleated about as a breach of your human rights.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)
*adds 'local govt' to list*

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:58, Reply)
anyone who works in the public sector
would get such a shock if they ever managed to get a job in the private sector. what, no flexi-time? what, call that a pension? what, i actually have to do some work? waaaaah.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
haha, fuck off.
You do realise that no flexi-time works both ways?

Also, you forgot "a real salary! brilliant"
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
It's ironic that a very high majority of people that constantly post on here through the day
work in the private sector.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)
It's particularly ironic*
that people who've never worked in the public sector at all profess to any kind of knowledge about how a job in the public sector works.

Anyone would think they'd got their info by selectively reading the Daily Mail or listening to fuckwitted Tory politicians but surely, surely the people here aren't that fucking retarded, are they? Surely not.

*it's not ironic at all, it would be desperately sad in fact, except they aren't being serious. I hope.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:53, Reply)
You'd think, wouldn't you?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)
moi?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Vous.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)
stop oppressing her
If "the man" doesnt accept her alternate lifestyle then thats his fault
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Even that doesn't have to be a deal breaker
if you're actually a)good and b)don't whine about persecution all the time.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Where I work no coloured hair, no face piercings are the general rules. No matter how good you are.
Visible tats are frowned upon.

I think it's pointless but I can see where they are coming from.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)
Oh, yeah, I mean she couldn't see clients like that
but if you turned up for interview looking like that, and were really good, they'd probably still offer a job on condition you sort out appearance.

Although I'd be surprised about the coloured hair thing, even in law
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
the ex bleached his hair and was told that it was unsuitable for work
and that wasn't a law firm.

i got told off for wearing a t-shirt with sequins on the shoulder when we had dress-down for moving offices.

you wouldn't believe how petty and conservative it could be.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Did you wear a bra underneath?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)
of course
i never leave home without one. just like you.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
We should swap fitting tips.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)
titting flips

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)
most of the people I know well in law
work for criminal defence and the CPS and that appears to be a lot less harsh about appearance - unless you're a barrister of course
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Glorified civil servants you see.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)
not criminal defence, though

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Strikethrough a
insert i

LOL
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)
haha it depends on the firm
bear in mind that a shirt in any colour other than white is seen as shocking in some places...
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)
see above

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
My friend works at a place like that. Only white shirts allowed.
btw I am going to Amsterdam on business for three days in a mo'. lol.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)
"business"

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Vitally urgent insurance bidness.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Vitally urgent insurance bidness

hookers and porn
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Why don't I get sent on business trips to Amsterdam?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Cos you are not well cool like me.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)
No ta, I've a reel of cable, a fuck ton of RJ45s AND a crimping tool*
in a box in my bedroom. Sometimes I dry hump it.


*make your own shit jokes, I can't be arsed**


**lol
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
I believe you.
Out struggle snuggling last night?
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
No. I'm going to enter a monastery.
I'm done, old chap.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:04, Reply)
bitches be cryin'

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Yeah. It really kills the mood.
Especially when it alerts some passing dog-walker and I have to bury all three of them in the woods.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Hahaha. Not in this weather.
Unless you kill them when you get to where you want to dig. They piss themselves with fear and you can then dig the not so "hard as iron" earth. Easy!
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Girl not keen on space docking?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I'm literally hanging by a thread
waiting for the asterisk clarification, here.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
That must be a very strong hread

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Or thread, even.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:58, Reply)
you saying I'm fat, B3thers?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:11, Reply)
Which alt are you replying to here?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Didn't realise you were into bondage Krones.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:58, Reply)
sexiest of all the stomach conditions

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:00, Reply)
totally is.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Crimping ha

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Oh god, I just kicked off at the docs at my old boss who got me in trouble cus he declared a £5/hour cash in hand job.
He said I should be grateful and thank them.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:00, Reply)
What has that got to do with the doctor?

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I was just wondering this.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Oh, that's where we saw each other.
I mean the doctors waiting room
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)
oh. So you made a scene then.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)
remind me not to piss you off to the point where you feel like making a scene with me in public.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Well, I might be exasorating a bit when I say kicked off.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)
oh. okay then.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)
OK.
And whom did he get you into trouble with?
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)
HMRC, my accountant sorted it out though, I donno details.
But something about it not having the "trappings of normal employment", such as sick pay/holiday/etc. I was paying my national insurance on my own as freelance anyway.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Cheeky bastard, it was none of his business.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)
you're a tax avoider?
you're worse than Osborne.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)
I was basicky Starbucks.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Yeah whatever, Jimmy Carr.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Whatever, Amagonz.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)
I have started a new thread.

(, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:30, Reply)

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